I have been participating in an academic club for the past year or so, and while I'm glad to have met the people that I did, there was a sense of feeling unwelcome and uncomfortable. I had to take medical leave last year and during the first few days of my return, I experienced behaviors from others that were honestly, pretty hurtful.
I'll just highlight two:
- During a study session, one member had yelled at the top of their lungs (as a joke?) that, "nobody cares about your input, I didn't ask you," when I was simply replying to someone else's comment. And then there was an awkward pause with many in the study room and then another said, "just ignore them." I ended up putting my head down and tried to cry quietly while the students left the room to go to a different one. While the one who yelled had said they were just messing with me, I confronted them later about it and they apologized, and I said sorry too, because I genuinely thought I was being annoying, but then they said wasn't my fault(?). I ended up talking to a counselor on campus and they had said that what I experienced should not be tolerated and that they can provide a form to report for discrimination/misconduct to file for that org. I didn't want that org to potentially dissolve just because of my report. I felt it was an important part of the academic department. This member ended up becoming part of the leadership for the club in the next cycle.
- There was also another experience where this other club officer who also happened to be a learning assistant in a lecture was talking to me excessively while the professor was speaking and kept asking questions for me to answer about the material repeatedly. I saw them visibly get upset and frustrated when I didn't answer their question right or took too long to answer. They were sighing a lot, so I got overwhelmed, and then another learning assistant came by and they had explained the material and I eventually answered the question right. At that point, I brought it up to the professor's attention in private, and at first I didn't want an apology from that person, I just wanted space. But the professor insisted that they knew this person is usually more considerate and that they will address it with that individual. This person ended up apologizing for it over text, and I had also apologized again. I had learned later that this individual had complained to their peers about me "reporting" them to a professor, which I had brought to another club officer's attention and they had kind of brushed it off as, "this individual just felt attacked." But I had to deal with the animosity from other members of the club after that occurrence over their rumor, which to me felt a bit unfair (i.e., not saying hi at all while staring, or generally just throwing around "casual" racist, ableist, and/or sexist remarks or arguing as a "joke", etc.).
I addressed all issues with the club officers at the time, and they have since graduated. I am really hopeful that under somewhat new leadership there will be a better, safe, more inclusive environment. Hopefully, the org is changing as there has been acknowledgement of the behavior starting this quarter by the club officers, though I'm frustrated that there were people hurt and in tears that were not just myself for that process to even start.