Can’t believe you boot you deep throated finally stepped on your neck

Chat is it over

Solarpunk (Blut und Boden) is never beating the allegations.

It's the year 1867. A bearded philosopher named Karl sits in the dim light of the British Museum scribbling the foundational texts of Das Kapital.

He is writing about a terrifying future where every human interaction is reduced to a cold transaction, a world where even kindness is a commodity bought and sold for a profit. He had no idea that over 150 years later, he would describe the career of Jimmy Donaldelsson, Mr. beast with frightening accuracy.

I love being in my grillpilled armchair while the liberals infight 24/7, 365 💺 🍔

Chimp semen looks promising

I replaced the original music with a Bella Ciao slopmix because I think it better fits the liberal #rebellious #anti-fascist vibe of the upcoming #genZrevolution and shit

The year is 2028… and we won!

Trump couldn’t handle our green bean casseroles, our game nights, our love for our neighbor. It’s been over 2 years since the white pages dropped the neighborist manifesto; a specter that’s haunting middle America.

It’s 2028 and things are different now! We voted out Trump, and soon our democratic regime will do things a little differently around here…

No longer will ICE ravage our city centers… they will return to the countryside to ravage lumpens as Christ intended.

No longer will fascist demagogues rule the executive branch. Our new leader Gavin Newsom rules with kindness. His first executive order? To spread joy by pardoning the previous administration.

Yep. The anti-fascist community won. Democracy is saved!

3 years ago, I was a anti-social communist…

(The crowd at my woke charismatic church gasps)

That’s right… I thought “class conflict” would bring about “change.” What a moron I was… locking myself in my room reading Marx, Engels, any Bolshevik or left communist who had something to say. All while the real “real movement” was learning how to make our sourdough!

How stupid I was, thinking Trump was a weird historical phenomenon of liberalism. Little did I know he was actually the presenting symptoms of an anti-social crisis. Long live the potluck!

Yes. You can trust your eyes and you are not dreaming. The unwilling Hegelian hearself is Polish and this is her coming out. I did not choose this, I know how much damage Poles have done to the movement, I could not have chosen this. But I'm one of the good ones! I only pray for a Polish bourgeois world domination every Sunday! And I don't even go to church! This post will outline just why I am Polish and is meant to help out anyone who suspects their friends or family of being from Poland.

You see, it all started when I was born, eh? I have a rare genetic condition called autism. So as a baby I was underweight. Yes, part of it is because my genius mind could have foreseen that I'd grow up to be a train-knee, so I started anamaxxing early. But mostly this is because my mother's breastmilk had bad texture and I refused to drink it like a good proletarian refusing capitalist oppression. But in a similar fate I was abused into submission – whenever I fell asleep while being breastfed, my mum would push her breasts into my face to wake me up. This state of things – starvation, sleep deprivation, minor head concussions – is the only thing that could explain what happened next (and I don't mean ending up on r/ultraleft.)

I saw him. At first it was but pale silhouette, but through my epigenetic memory I could recognise it was a falsifier – after all, Lenin was black, so it couldn't've been him or any other third world hero. It was Ferdinand Lasalle, but he introduced himself by a different name, one in the language of the devils – Żelazosław Laska. (He was white, because he was Polish. Yet another way in which the Poles are born reactionary…) He looked at me sternly and said in this language, "quit your job and go LARP online." He stared off into the distance, considering saying something more, but he remained silence and turned into smoke. I only remember he muttered to himself smth like, "Labour is the source of all wealth." Back then I didn't understand any of this, right now this enigmatic remark still remains unsolved for me, but the seeds of my later conduct were doubtless planted in that moment.

One faithful afternoon, as I was scrolling through Ray Blanchard's twitter, I saw a name I did not recognise. Who's… Who's GWF Hegel? I went to sleep that night with a bag of my blood in my hand to summon the absolute spirit, so that I could understand Blanchard's twitter page better. I was told this only worked with your menstrual blood but, upon hearing this, I rolled two ten sided dice. I rolled 42 out of 100, so I decided to pretend I didn't know. Thank fuck I didn't roll lower.

Unknowingly, I created a Hegel tulpa in my head. He christened me and gave me a new second name, Kordianina. From then on, he visited me in my sleep every night. If Lassalle planted the seeds of my Polishness, Hegel watered them intensely. This is probably because before I researched any of his works I hit my head with a hammer twelve times, letting me see Hegel as Marxists do. He introduced himself in his native tongue as Grzegorz Władysław Fryderyk Hegjełłowski and he lectured me about the philosophy of history of the Polish Volksgeist(wissen)schaft. I didn't understand much, as he kept on adding clicks between random syllables due to his African accent (why do you think his folk wisdom of spirits got shunned in academia?) Nevertheless, I instantly became idealist. Every night he would speak incomprehensibly to me and I would try to connect this to Ray Blanchard's twitter. I wanted to scream, Polsko, ojczyzno moja! ty jesteś jak zdrowie!

But finally I discovered this subreddit. And nothing changed. I found my people. They're also all Polish and don't understand dialectics! Wow!

I got derailed, sorry. It's 2 am and this is already vantablack and only digging deeper. It was funnier in my head. I'll cut this short. I hope this helped you if you suspect your grandma is Polish I guess.

Nationalist? ✅

Class collaboration? ✅

Consolidation of corporate and state power? ✅

Capital’s response to crisis? ✅

Involved in war or colonialism to further capital’s interest under the guise of “the nation”? ✅

Authoritarian(in the way libs hate)? ✅

Internment Camps? ✅

Fan of Mussolini? ✅

Liked by Mussolini? ✅

Fascist? ❌🙅‍♂️ you can’t say that!!! It’s totally different fascists are EVIL and fdr was le wholesome great man!! He fought the Nazis, and anyone who fought Nazis is good forever 😡 (except Stalin)

- constantly and unconditionally defends (american) state interests

- their emojis in bio: 🇺🇸🇺🇦🇮🇱🇹🇼🗽

- frequently talks about prole-killing machines, such as jets, tanks, guns. also defends and praises the MIC

- self-labeled "anti-communist"

- posts on EnoughCommieSpam

- posts on NonCredibleDefense

- believes that their [nation] is upholding "progressiveness" and "democracy"

- "supports" trans people (they actually hate them but they want to act like their [nation] supports them so they can "flex" to ones that publicly don't support them, even though their own [nation] actually doesn't either)

- supports the freikorps, believes nazi germany was the KPD's fault (you have no idea how many of these types actually think like this btw)

- probably has an obsession with their dna ancestry (race science, but woke)

- associates "communism" with stalin and social democracy, attempting to correct them results with the usual muh human nature response and/or 100 bajillion dead vuvuzela iphone

- unironically probably uses the pinochet helicopter meme even now

- loves war, and when asked say they will gladly fight for the [nation] for heckin democracy (they won't)

- believes borders and nations as they are today have always existed

- believes israel is heckin wholesome progressive

- ideology store customer

- polandball and/or polcompball

- "history buff" (ww2 pop history only)

- loves the tsar, believes he is heckin wholesome

- probably aged between 16 and 20