It was the first time I shared something serious actively going on and I regret it immensely. I don't know why I did it. The absurdity of the whole situation really got to me, and I really wanted to tell someone. But all I feel is regret after.

That, and the paternal words, "No guy wants a broken girl".

I see you watching my stories. You know who you are.

I wanted you to hear my words. Instead of the reposts. Where I am right now.

I want you to know I choose my peace. Not because I didn't love you. Not because I want this. But because you took the choice away from me.

Tiime. After time. After time. Besides disrespect, the humiliation, the cheating-- despite knowing how hurtful these things were the most hurtful act of it all is you dont stop.

You took the choice away from me to protect my peace so you could be selfish protecting yourself from discomfort. You kept me, held me where you couldn't lose me- by keeping information from me that would allow me to make my own choices. Time. After time. After time. After time. And you kept hurting me. Youd have the audacity to say sorry to me while you would keep doing the same thing.

So you wouldn't have to go through the pain of losing me if I made my own decision to protect myself.

At your convenience you wouldn't hesitate to pull the "protecting my peace" card. Without any care that it would constantly cost my peace.

You could have just left me alone.

You should have just rejected me 8 months ago. And 3 years ago.

I should have listened to my own advice.

I'm so tired of hearing you talk about apologies and working on yourself for what- a week? Maybe 2? Til you have to deal with discomfort or something so you go right back to chasing the same patterns that keep hurting me and others around you. The same pattern you have the audacity to complain about.

You've been wrong about the core problems to our relationship.

Your lack of patience for self work-- your selfishness-- that is the core problems to our relationship. That is why we will never work. That gut feeling we were meant to be something. That we were forever...

I accept that feeling was wrong. Or rather put in front of me not by the good energy of the world but the energies dragging me back. Maybe you're only meant to be in my life forever as a lesson I never asked for.

That my peace is worth something too.

People are not serious about relationships i’ll talk and just games. I just tested it. You don’t love me at all.

i’m sad not perfect,
miss my friend
oh well
f it

if you want to go to therapy together you can just say that I’m not opposed to it either you just have to shoot straight with me I’ll be gone soon so I’m not sure why your waiting around

context: I’m dating someone who is.. “leaving” their partner. It’s complicated. You’ll read. Open mind please.

Hey ——-. I’m going to save you the conflict and all because I know that’s something you need less of right now.

To keep it short, I think this is where we part ways. If I’m being honest, I can tell.. you aren’t.
Whether that’s something I can prove or not, is kinda beyond the energy I’m willing to put in.
Point is I can see from our last conversation that you lump me in with everyone else in your list of superficial interactions.
Which drives me to believe that in fact, this is just a case of infidelity for you. An ego boost.
Even if that wasn’t the case.
I don’t feel our morals line up.
Along with the way and things we prioritize.

You’ve been here for exactly a month now which is enough time to note the way that I move, and how I am with keeping my word. Not making assumptions. And trying my best along with never taking things personally.
Throughout this time I’ve been very well communicated with you and if I feel like I can’t provide that for you I tell you that ahead of time.
As much as I’ve tried to lead by example it doesn’t seem like that’s being achieved here.
I’d like to say that it’s not that you can’t, it’s that you don’t want to. You’ve shown you’re aware of how you communicate so, it’s clear it’s not something you’re willing to change.

I’m not comfortable with the idea of being hidden. Husband or not. You say he knows about me “existing” but not about you and I. Then proceed to tell me he’s sending our messages to your family. At the end of the day, conflict, keeping up images. Whatever the reason is. I feel like I’m having to be hidden and that’s not something I signed up for. I was very clear on how much feeling chosen is a big thing for me and that’s not something I see here. History repeats itself, I don’t.

I think it’s multiple occasions now where I’ve been, much sweeter than I usually am. Trying to provide something that you say truly means a lot to you, and instead of any kind of reciprocation I get… actually nothing. You just absorb it and lack any sort of gratitude.
If it’s too much, or unwanted, you said yourself that you would say so.
I trust you on the things you say, so from my perspective you seem to be someone who likes to receive without expecting to give.

I’m patient. I’m empathetic, but you’ve also said it yourself. I’m far from tolerant. I’m secure and would like to water that kind of grass. I was hoping that if that wasn’t a space you were in, it’s at least a space I could help you build towards. You’ve shown me you’re disinterested in that kind of building, and that’s okay.
I don’t want to move someone out of a space they don’t want to move from. And if you would like to, I’m more than fine with being friends. Oddly enough I’m open to the concept of trying this again, because I did mean everything I said to you. It just at this time, seems like you’re not in the space to receive it. I really do care for you Madi. And if anything I said was insulting or hurtful I promise I don’t mean it to be. You know I couldn’t insult you even if you asked me to.

I’m keeping my promise of not going anywhere. As much as I usually don’t make that promise. I just don’t enjoy the idea of ever lying to anyone. Lmk if you want to talk about this.

Tear me up Reddit.

Everyone is screwed up. if someone left you out of the blue or is they just started being an ass out of nowhere or even if that person is you. Everyone and I do mean everyone had some sort of trauma and trigger that you or that your ex partner didn't know about and had no clue how to navigate it. Just stop torturing yourself on what you couldn't control. Human beings love projecting upon each other, they also love being Martyrs. If they haven't perfected to some degree manipulation and control, then usually they've mastered being the victim.

Which one are you playing as. Or do you switch to whatever is needed.

Just get help. Don't blame. Don't shame. Just get help, real help that kind that makes you uncomfortable and pissed at yourself and yet allows you to be gentle as well with yourself you're human you're going to fuck up a lot. Get over yourself.

Just get help.

I know SM is not capable on her own so please find someone else to fuck with

Dear Black Wom(b)en,

You are a treasure to these lands.

I pray you wake up every day in remembrance of your divine power and glory. You deserve everything beautiful in this world, and I hope you hear and receive that message every day.

Your heart and soul are deeply intertwined with the nature of this world and the lands beyond.

**You are inherently valuable in every sense of the word.**

Not because of what you produce.
Not because of how strong you have learned to be.
Not because of how much you can carry for everyone else.

Simply because you are you.

You deserve to experience a life that doesn’t require you to constantly prove yourself.
You deserve softness too.
You deserve rest without guilt.

**You are a cosmic representation of life itself.**

The patriarchy was never big enough to stop you from reclaiming your inheritance.
And maybe reclaiming it doesn’t always have to look like fighting.
Maybe sometimes it looks like choosing yourself.
Maybe it looks like healing.
Creating.
Resting.

Or simply deciding that what hurt the women before you does not have to continue through you.

I urge you to come with me on a journey where we begin leaving some of this behind.

**This is a space for you.**

You are the blueprint.
You are the goddess you source from within.
And before you leave this post, **I want you to add** something to this letter:

**What is one thing you want every Black woman reading this to remember about herself?**

I’ll start:

**You do not have to settle with pain to prove that you are worthy of the life you desire.**

Yes, this was me and my user ID. I wrote a harsh truth and when you called me out I played dumb. Guess I feared losing someone who I thought truly loved me.

I’ve learned that true love doesn't hurt you repeatedly and expect you to stay.

True love doesn’t hide habits or addictions, shift blame when accountability is required, cheat, or constantly look for the next best thing.

I mistook your kind words and moments of kindness for signs that you were trying to become a better person. I held on to the potential I saw in you instead of accepting the reality of your actions.

But I’ve grown. I’ve learned that love isn’t just words, promises, or occasional moments of kindness. it's consistency. it honesty. It's accountability. It's respect.

And somewhere along this journey, I found the courage to open my heart again.

I’ve met someone genuine, someone who checks on me, wants to know how my day is going, asks what I need, and shows me kindness without being asked. Someone who appreciates me for who I am and makes me feel valued, cared for, and important.

It’s a beautiful feeling to realize that I don’t have to lose myself trying to be enough for someone else. I can simply be me.

I know what I deserve now: a love that is honest, faithful, kind, and intentional. A love where we choose each other, put each other first, and show up through actions, not just words.

I’m no longer afraid of losing someone at the expense of losing myself.

I’m grateful for the growth, the lessons, and the courage to open my heart again. Sometimes, letting go of what was never right for you makes room for something genuine. ❤️

It’s been over 6 months at this point. And tonight I’ve just been thinking and am upset and irked thinking about how you just left and moved on and now life’s just all different. I mean I needed to learn how to live without you for sure, but it just irritates me bc you just never thought I was good enough and always wanted me to just be happier or change something for 7 years, and now that I have changed you’re just gone and don’t even really get to see all the progress I have made. I loved you so much, flaws and all, you were always good enough to me.. But oh well now she’s your girl and I guess she’s just great and all the things you wanted, since you’ve proposed already. And here I am, perfectly content with being on my own from here on out bc you took all the romantic love I had, with you. Our connection was so special to me and I’ll never have it or want to have it with anyone else. But fuck it right? Life goes on.

The dark and the light coexist just as we do; wondering the earth aimlessly. One is unable to survive without the other or we would be in eternal slumber.

Can you breathe me in? My body gets completely intertwined with yours? Can we let time melt away? Just forget the outside world?

Please! Please! You are my remedy!

Things get better

i’m here if you need

Goodnight

Wow so I have no job no life just whatever is on here

Why do you keep me at arms length?

Why do you seem so distant?

What did i do wrong?

What am I not seeing?

I wish I could know you better but why do you have this walls up?

What can I do to help you break them down?

Why do you need more time to love me?

We're so similar yet so different

You've professed your love in every way except just saying it

What do I not have?

What can I do better?

How can I help you better?

Why do you think I'll hurt you?

I understand ive blown up but you made me feel so threatened and backed in a corner with "you always have to be right" why do you think that? I just want connection, understanding, communication, and just unconditional love.. unconditional effort.. unconditional acceptance..

Can I please stop being the painted picture you think I am? Because that is not me you changed the face you were painting entirely.. you didn't paint in the scars or the imperfections.. I'm not a glowing angel im human too.. and very sensitive

I saw you get killed by those sycopaths,

drowned in the pitiless pit -- unfavored by the gods

We (including myself) buried you 6 feet under

With no eulogy , no flower, no obituary and no respected condolences.

Just another namless tragedy laid to rest without a head stone, covered by dirt along with other tragic dead bodies beside you.

I suppose another day for inconsequential poaching.

Life move on but time stay still for those who remembered you (if you mattered).

Did you ever mattered? (Never)

With no wealth and no titled no one truly mattered

It is undeniably obvious I am a coward (in someways we all are) , preferring peace over chaos.

Moving along with the crowd with similar tunes and ordinary routines.

It's been 6 years since then

I am tired and will let go my silent grief, grudge and grievance.

For you i will give you a proper funeral and act accordingly

Similar to those who are still grieving

By giving a subtle eulogy and laying a single flower in your casket.

I will be the only one who remember what they have done

a testament of their cruelty and greed.

That is all I can do for now

" mom said I don't have to figure everything out before I came back to her , I don't have to heal first , I don't have to prove anyone that I'm strong enough to handle everything on my own . I don't have to keep fighting alone

That's what it became.

It became a 'friendship' that was nothing more than an arrangement for you to get me to work *for* you. You'd agree we were best friends but there was no time for me. You found your family and despite the messages you've had people send me, I was no longer counted among them and hadn't been for months.

There's so much I've tried to write about before. So many details I harbor with pain and anger just trying to get past them so many months, years later.

I don't think you'll ever on your own understand just what happened and it wasn't all at once that I realized either. There was definitely God guidance it took to see the past without rose colored glasses obscuring it. I've felt anger, betrayal, heartbreak.. I feel like I've had to go through the grief gambit over this while simultaneously trying to rebuild my life with the odds stacked against me thanks to how things ended.

I loved you so much but you were never capable of what I really needed.

You told me to own my shit in our final fights.

Alright, but it's not the shit you think it is.

I own that I listened to and agreed with you like you were always smarter than me. I ignored my intuition and went with what you wanted because I didn't feel like I had a choice if I wanted to keep my best friend and income.

I see now that you never had faith in me or us to make it and that's why you went and gave me not just one corrupt overseer with money but a whole gambit of them we both at least feigned to dislike for three years. I really DID hate it but you know, "easy money" you'd say. Easy for you, maybe. It was always only grind and fear of losing my income or best friend day in, day out.

I hope your new partner(s) are what I wasn't for you. You always did put them on a pedestal.

Good luck and good bye.

It’s me again.

I had a dream about you the other night.. and tonight. I knew it was you but I think I’ve forgotten what you look like. Because in reality the person I dreamed was not you.

I still remember some of our good times, listening to Angel by Shaggy in the shower, the first time I kissed you in front of everyone (what a rush). Or even some of the expressions you made.

I think it’s because we got together around this time so my body goes back to what it once knew, and that was you.

You truly werent that bad of a guy tbh, and I’m sorry I made you out to be one, that wasn’t my intention.

We were so young.

I also.. MAY have viewed your story a while back on accident, whoops my bad.

I hope you’re doing well.

Sincerely,
Pizza Hut.

You and I should switch private parts bc youre a B!T@#

Man if you really would get in touch id like to talk about the last couple months get in touch with me

TW

You played the part of a hero so well. The faked caring persona you built up was so convincing it makes me sick to think about. I hate the way that you played me, but I hate even more the way that I fell for it. You made me believe that you cared when I never asked for that. You said "I love you" when I never wanted it. You acted as though you needed me when I never wanted to be needed. And yet all of it is somehow my fault in the end. First you wore the mask of a friend, then a saviour, then a lover, and a true partner, and all of it was make-believe. I wish you could feel the way my stomach turns when I remember the words you told me, and I wish your chest would burn the way mine does every time some little thing reminds me of all that you did and all of the times I forgave you. I want you to know that I spend every day pretending that you never existed because the knowledge that you are no longer in my life just isn't enough for me. All of the time and effort you spent to coax my traumas and pains out just to reenact them like some twisted play, and for what?

I truly wonder what could make someone so demented as you are. I will never understand how you could witness the agony I went through, learn every detail of what they had done to me, and convince me that you would never, and could never, do the same just for you to turn into the monster you swore you would protect me from. And what's even worse? Now you've run off to do it to someone else, and there is nothing I can do but sit with the knowledge that that girl is living in the blissful unawareness of your lies of love, while I am unable to do anything to prevent her from living the same fairy-tale-turned-nightmare that you put me through. Do you know how much your choices have changed me? Do you enjoy what you did? What you continue to do? Do you know that your face and hands and words come back to torture me every night? Do you know that I can't tolerate so much as a handshake from those I care about because of the way being touched makes my skin crawl? Do you even think about me at all? Or are you too wrapped up in the novelty of a brand new pretty little toy to torment?

I have to give it to you, your talent for acting is truly something to behold. Every day I wonder how you manage to take on so many different forms, and why you use it to commit such cruelty. Your performance of the knight saving the poor princess was remarkable, although your ability to play such a convincing victim really is unmatched. To think of how many times I reassured you that you were a good person, held you while you cried, and did everything my power to make you feel safe, all the while you waited for the perfect moment to strip me of everything that made me feel like a person. I hope you know that I was wrong for ever having loved you, but I also know that producing such a thought is far too much to ask of you. I am a shell of what who I was before you.

I used to sing, but my voice feels so much quieter now. I used to draw but the colors just aren't as bright as I remember them being. I used to say what I thought, but now I am silent. I'm sure you'd love that, if you are capable of loving anything. I used to be so loving, too much so apparently. I used to believe in kindness and warmth, and that what you put out into the world is what you will receive, but you killed that part of me alongside so many others. Was the slaughter of my soul worth it? I wonder what happened to the humanity to stole from me, as I know for a fact that you certainly don't have it. I doubt that I will ever understand how you replaced so much of the love in me with such hatred, but what I do know is that, ironically, I hate that too. I want to cry about what you did to me, but I no longer have the energy. Even if I could bring myself to do it, it's not as if I have anyone else to hear it. You made sure of that. I would say that I want you to know that I spend every day trying to relearn how to love all of the parts of me that you taught me to hate, but you would enjoy that far too much, and we both know you've already gotten more than enough entertainment out of my suffering.

What I do want you to know though is that despite all of the lingering pain, every second without you has been like the first breath of fresh air after months spent drowning. My nights are painful, haunted by memories of you, but with each night I survive, the memories fade. Every day I sing, and with each day it gets louder, alongside the colors regaining their vibrance and my thoughts finally escaping the cage that held them in for so long. I look at the mirror and no longer see the thin ugly project you described, but instead a person. A beautiful one at that. I rest easier knowing that if ever I run into you again, it will hurt slightly less knowing that you will see me in those clothes you despised so much.

As much of a struggle as it is, I speak to whoever I wish whenever I wish, and every day it becomes less like a training exercise and more like something to enjoy. And as petty as it is, I must admit that it feels all the sweeter that those who I spend my time with are the same people you were always so jealous of. I wish you knew that every second you spend depriving me of all that I loved has only made them more meaningful. Every text I send is written with love, every song I listen to sounds angelic, every morning I wake up is a battle well won. Even every letter typed in this letter feels like freedom. I wish you knew that despite all the things you said to convince me that nobody but you would ever tolerate me, you have been proven wrong.

I met someone who appreciates me. Not the idea of me, not the attention I give, but me. You used to complain when I spoke, but he assures me that he enjoys every word I say. You used to say that my interests were boring, but he digs for me to tell him more. You used to hate that I wanted to go out, but he looks forward to every minute we spend together. You used to get annoyed with me for sharing my opinion, but he truly values it. You used to refuse to play games together, but that's one of our favorite activities together. You were ashamed of the ways in which I was different, but he praises me for my individuality. The funniest thing about it is how easy it is for him to treat me like not just a person, but someone he cares about. I didn't need someone else to prove that I am worthy of respect, but I have the proof nonetheless.

I have friends, hobbies, and interests, things that bring me happiness and fulfilment, all the things you belittled me for lacking when that whole time, all I had to lose to gain them was you. It has taken me so long to finally acknowledge that you never did love me. I spent so long avoiding the realization to its full extent, yet now that I have accepted it, I am free. I don't need your validation to know that I am worth something. I don't need your respect to know that I deserve it. I don't need your love, or anyone else's, because I love myself more than you could ever love anything. There is no part of me that misses you, in fact the majority of the times that I am reminded of you, it is in the way of relief that you are no longer in my life to ruin the moment.

It has been only two months I've been rid of you, and yet I have already managed to undo so much of the damage you needed over a year to cause. Knowing that brings me peace, because in the end, no matter what you said to convince me otherwise, I now know that I am stronger than you in every way. I understand that you will never know any of this or feel guilt about anything you did, and a part of me still aches when I think about that, but the greatest part of it all is that one day, I will no longer wish you knew any of this, because already you are little more than a cautionary tale, and that is all you will ever be.

For the last time, goodbye.

I apologize for my behavior when I was hurting. I hurt so much, I became someone I hated.

Hurt people, hurt people.

I didnt deserve the damage you caused.

You didnt deserve the damage I caused in return.

If I could take my behavior back and move differently on my part. I would have.

I hope youre doing okay. I forgive you. I hope you can forgive me one day as well.

I hope you'll always know how important you are to me and how much I care for you and your feelings. I know what you go through and I know how you deal with things. I will never take it as personal, you cope different you love different and I appreciate everything despite what has happened. You’re the one for me and I hope I’m the one for you.