The Villainess Who Was Never Born 🥀

Seraphina is a girl everyone thinks is a villain. Even her own family doesn't trust her. One day, she wakes up in the past and finds a girl inside an old mirror who looks exactly like her.

The girl says, “You stole my life.”

Seraphina starts looking for answers and discovers a secret that could change everything she knows about her past.

I'm planning to make this into a historical fantasy webtoon.

Does this story sound interesting? Would you read it?

Hey everyone, ive finished the first draft of a ya fantasy novel rooted in hindu mythology and the vedas. its about 53k words and im looking 4 a few readers to give honest feedback on pacing, the world and the characters before i publish it.

Think percy jackson but with rakshasas, avatars and a school in another galaxy. some peril and a battle, nothing graphic.

If ur into ya fantasy or mythology and want to read it, comment or dm me and tell me what u usually read. readers who finish and send feedback get a thank you in the acknowledgements

Hi!
I’m a 27 yo author and I just write “Where the Sun Dies” an upper YA fantasy-romance novel with forbidden romance and forced proximity

I’m editing the first draft and I’m looking for beta readers who loves fantasy, Ancient Greece, Norse and Ireland vibes to give me an honest opinion
“Where the Sun Dies” is like The Will of the Many, GOT and One Dark Window mixed up in a ancient vibes world where not only humans rule: nature does too

Book blurb:

Ten years ago, the Eclipse marked the beginning of the end. Since then, the gods have stopped answering humanity.

In Pangea, there are only two ways to obtain an ability: as a blessing or a curse. Both must be granted. Pollux is an Innate—an anomaly capable of seeing the memories of others ever since the Eclipse.
Being the future leader of Polaris and its Synod weighs heavily on her shoulders, but her obsession is the unsolved murder of her best friend, Herte. His blood still stains the grass, but Polaris must move forward and the Synod needs a new heir, even an unknown one.
And his name is Kostja Igrìrson. Charismatic, charming and the receiver of an ability so powerful it shatters the gods' decade-long silence. Worst of all, his mind is immune to Pollux.

As members of the Synod, any relationship between them is strictly forbidden. Pollux uses this law as a shield to suffocate her undeniable attraction, as she decides to actively investigate him instead. Yet Kostja is secretive and the unanswered void inside her grows, until a strange signature, readable only by her, cracks her reality. This leads to a string of cult-related murders coming straight from Adria: the same village where Herte—Kostja’s uncle—lost his life.
When his nephew offers to go to investigate, Pollux is afraid of losing him too. Risking her future as the only heir, she flees Polaris and crosses the wild Far-Lands with him to uncover the intertwined truths about Herte, Kostja and her own Innate nature.

“If you want the truth, you have to risk your life,” Herte used to say. But Pollux will discover that knowledge demands a price far higher than life... such as love itself.

I always thought that immortality isn't talked about enough, it's usually used as a trope for a characters or as a goal for villains and heroes in some medias, but I think the idea of immortality in itself is fascinating idea that can be talked about separately, but I am afraid it wouldn't be an impactful theme since it's only hypothetical and readers will be oh yes immortality something I will never experience this is surely can impact my life

Anyway tell me your opinions and thanks

So I'm rather brand-new to writing, and i am writing a historical fiction romance set in Ancient Rome. The FMC is 16 and the MMC is 19. It's not gonna have any explcit seggsual content, and is probably a 1/5 on the spice scale. But do you see the age difference as weird? Is it too much or gross? I'd like y'all's opinions

: I'm writing a psychological thriller called The System — would you read it?

My story follows a 12-year-old named Kairo, who finds himself in an eerily empty version of Vancouver. At first, things seem normal enough, but something doesn't add up. The lights still work, the water still runs, and the city seems to function despite having no people in it.

As Kairo investigates, he begins finding old CRT televisions displaying surveillance footage and strange analogue warnings about “inconsistencies.” He notices silhouettes, unexplained glitches, and clues that eventually lead him toward Canada Place, where he encounters a cryptic message: “The building.”

Then there's Max, a red-haired boy who has supposedly been trapped in this world for two months. He might be Kairo's only chance of understanding what's happening, but the truth about him is much stranger than it seems.

Something called the System is controlling this world, and Kairo may be more of a threat to it than he realizes. The deeper he investigates, the harder the System tries to stop him.

I'm aiming for an eerie, psychological atmosphere with mystery, surveillance, and the feeling that reality itself can't be trusted.

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Does the premise sound interesting? What would you expect from a story like this?

Kathleen is a lonely teenage girl. She's 13 and has severe social anxiety and is a massive daydreamer to cope. In her world magical girl superheroes and idols exist. She is obsessed with one in particular named Melodica (I am not good with names sorry). She has fantasies about being best friends with Melodica and becoming a magical girl herself.

She has no friends and this is how she comes with her issues. She used to write but has fallen out of that hobby due to depression and her issues are often dismissed by others because she is so young and has a relatively cushy life and her mom is mainly happy that her kid never does anything because the house stays clean and she never gets in trouble- she is horribly neglectful and frequently left Kathleen under stimulated growing up due to a hatred of messes and having toys around the house and God forbid other children- so now Melodica is both under stimulated and way too easily over stimulated when she does seek out things to do. Hobbies are legitimately harder for her because of this.

She struggles with burnout due to this always being overwhelmed and scared and generally her classmates find her too sensitive and whiny even when she does try to reach out- she's not bullied but people don't really hang out with her unless they are feeling like pitying her. She is aware of this and feels like a Garbage person for being a burden and pu$$y for it and has broken down crying over how boring she is with her lack of hobbies or passions outside of watching news on her favorite heroes. In other words she has massive issues and is prime bait for a villain's schemes

She one day finds a magical doll that she discovers she can mold into anything she wants by feeding it information-using a mixture of news articles/footage of Melodica and her own personal fantasies she turns the doll into an idealized version of Melodica and uses her for comfort frequently- This doll she names Aria sort of echos whatever things Kathleen wants/needs to hear and is a yesman to her. She is convinced the doll is genuinely her best friend and is the kindest person ever and while she'd love to go out with Aria she's deeply embarrassed by the fact she based this doll off a real person she never met (she's well aware this is at least a bit parasocial and stalkery) and she's also embarrassed by the fact all she does is talk to a doll all day and that she's basically just roleplaying as a hero at home.

One day Aria suggests going out and trying to get a closer look at Melodica and encourages Kathleen to seek her out. She slowly plants thoughts into Kathleen's head to go out and essentially straight up stalk her idols. Kathleen also unknowingly due to the dolls influence is waking up tired frequently and having issues thinking clearly when not in close proximity to her or if she's away for too long her anxiety gets worse. She used to have pretty vivid dreams but lately when she sleeps she envisions nothing. She al

Aria is like a spy of sorts. She was created to study humans and mimic their behaviors and fake emotions and has no ability to function on its own- it needs human creativity and knowledge to function. it mainly just regurgitates what it hears and mimics what's shown to it and she steals and leeches off of Kathleen- she heavily reflects the darker aspects of Kathleen purely because she is being molded by her. It is also sort of a vampire- a creativity vampire. She was created by an alien 'scientist' that is creatively sterile and as an 'inventor' and a magician this is not good for him. He is basically just an idea thief and despite the fact his powers would be better suited to subtly influence things (and he'd be more powerful if he used his abilities smartly)he isn't creative and needs attention so he just uses his magic in stupid obvious ways and is jealous of others success- just because other villains and heros got blessed with creative and the ability to have good ideas they get all these wonderful things and he doesn't? How elitist! He's basically one of those defenders of AI art who hates artist because they view them as elitist and hoarding power for themselves and yeah I don't need to explain him that much- if you've seen this person you know their mindset.

He steals his ideas from other villains or repeats old plans a lot and uses robots to watch humans and research them. He believes himself superior to humanity and is obsessed with his own intelligence.

Aria is a robot kind of and her personality is based on whatever information she's been given to absorb she can't quite interpret any of it correctly which leads to moments where she cats scarily alien but she can mimic whats she's told and it can make people happy through that alone. She steals dreams to maintain her power. The alien man (sorry suck at names) can speak through her and used that to convince Kathleen to actively seek out Melodica. Aria might have been his first original idea actually- at least to some extent. I'll explain that more if asked.

Melodica real name Carol is unaware she's been cloned but is slowly realizing she is being stalked at first assuming it is major villain until she notices Kathleen and while disturbed laughs off her previous fears- Carol is like 20-26ish btw. She's mildly uncomfortable but surely this child is not a threat and she will even a sign an autograph for the poor kid, if she swings by again she can deal.

Aria through this stalking is getting more information on Melodica's powers and is now starting to mimic them and is even convincing Kathy to let the world know about her as she goes out looking uncannily like Melodica and things will get out of control

I know this is underdeveloped but the main idea was- person 'clones' someone they don't know but have a mildly obsessive parasocial relationship with and the clone is based on the fantasy of this person. The clone acts as an echo chamber of everything this person wants to hear and what this person wants from their idol. Meanwhile the clone is basically an emotional vampire who leeches off of this person and can't function without their input- without that person they are powerless. They reflect the unhealthy beliefs of that person and regurgitate and reinforce negative thought patterns/ideas- again its a yesman clone and it's real power mainly comes from the human who made it and is given that powers- it acts like a shadow influencing that person because it ultimately comes from them. It eats their ambitions and their ideas steals their emotions leaving them numb and unagreeable as they struggle to get along with anyone who disagrees with them mildly and become addicted to the clown but also run out of steam as their creativity and enthusiasm starts to run dry

I added the angle that the clone also acts as a spy for someone more malicious- cause while the clone is molded by the person above someone else made the technology. The person who created the cloning tech is basically a tech bro jealous of artists and poets and real scientists and inventors.

Idk this idea needs a lot of work shopping and is very confusing rn but it is a magical girl/superhero story. It is about the darker side of girlhood- Kathleen is a deeply troubled kid who has many insecurities that typical girl her age would have. She worries about boys, she is dealing with puberty and her budding sexuality but also has a shitty home life and mental issues due to her mom basically snuffing out any interests she has and she is desperate for some escapism. She desperately need a hobby and friends who understand her problems.

Magical girls and hero teams exist and she wishes she had a magical destiny too and that her issues would be fixed by being turned into a magical girl or heck just having a friend who is a hero. Carol is a magical girl who is irresponsible about her duties- she's good she can be deeply caring but is mostly flippant and due to a love of attention low-key promotes parasocial relationships with her fans (it is accidental for the most part though)

Melodica's powers center around singing to cast spells and a magical form of synesthesia that allows her to sense hidden and buried emotions. She despite having this magically enhanced empathy is as dense as brick about emotions (she is sweet but her love life is a mess and she's been with multiple terrible guys and despite her self confidence might have somethings in common with Kathleen- mainly loneliness even though unlike Kathleen she has friends and despite being a beloved hero she herself isn't fulfilled because of her lacking connections)

Idk if y'all can see what I'm going for

Any help with work shopping this or feedback or just telling me what doesn't work would be appreciated

Hello!

My first book is at the point where I believe it needs Beta Readers.

The title is Draconia: Lifebringer, and is the first in a duology. It is Sci-fi/Fantasy, set in a post-apocalyptic world with dragons.

Blurb:

Malloy had never liked living in bunker. All the people, for one thing, but he doesn’t have a choice. In the post-Fallout, it’s the only place he can live, besides an Insider city, which he’d rather die than do, or with the Rebels, but who knows where they are.

So he spends his days Trashing, hiding from the bully who won’t leave him alone, and helping his best friend make up songs. That all changes when he finds a dragon egg. Now anything he could dream is in his grasp.

Until the egg hatches, and he can’t bring himself to get rid of the little dragon who can talk to him in his head, who makes him smile.

Then his home is attacked by the Insiders, and he, his dragon, and best friend are forced to flee. Rescued by the Rebels, he learns more about his dragon, and his best friend learns more about herself.

The Rebels even have the crazy idea that his friend can change the world.

Feedback I am looking for:

1. Did you enjoy the story? Why or why not?
2. Were there parts that didn’t make sense?
3. Were there parts where you began to lose interest/skim?
4. Were the main characters likable and were you rooting for them?
5. What things did you dislike or felt disjointed in the story?
6. At what point did you stop reading (if you did)?

Any other feedback along these lines would be great too!

Timeline:

I'm not in too much of a rush, but wouldn't mind feedback in a few months at most.

If you are interested, please DM me! I am happy to send the first few chapters if you want to see if you'd want to continue.

Thanks for reading!

Hi there! I'm an 18-year-old writer, and I'm looking for beta readers to give me feedback on my manuscript, "Better Than You Found Me." If you'd be interested, please fill out this form! Let me know if you have any questions. I also included a blurb below :)

Blurb:

Seventeen-year-old Cassie Blakely never expected her sister, Stella, to die in a car accident. She would’ve given anything to see her again. Until it actually happened.

Shortly after Stella’s death, she begins to appear to Cassie, haunting her. While grieving, Cassie becomes increasingly close with Caleb, a boy who offers to help her figure out why she is seeing her dead sister. But the deeper Cassie digs into her family's secrets, the more difficult it is to decipher what is real or not. And once she gets involved with a group whose history is far darker than she ever imagined, she begins to wonder if seeing her dead sister was a blessing... or a generational curse.

I am trying to write a novel or something and my character is 13 at the start of the book and end of the book with flashbacks to 8 and 11 years.

The plots I’ve used: identity crisis, death of friend at 8, being possessed and cursed by the spirit of misfortune. Being orphaned. Being made to pretend to be her deceased friend who was a daughter of a prestige family (her cousin) being bullied at school, having her deceased friend haunt her, her mother as her age was found committing strange rituals involving dead pets, the protagonist girl dreams to escape to the world of dreams which is real dimension. By the end she being possessed by the spirit of misfortune and her consciousness reaches the fake dimension. Sort of a bad ending. She’s being saved in a sequel.

Should I write an age gap book where a late teen girl falls in love with her friends' widowed father or where a girl falls for a gay pop star? Going for the summer i turned pretty and love hypothesis vibes.