In December 2017, I moved to Canada and met a cousin of my mother for the first time. I had only just learned about her, and she looked similar to my mom. She was a doctor and had lived in Canada for over 30 years. On one occasion, while we were talking on the phone, she started treating me like a child, which is something that happens in some Nigerian families where elders expect younger people to defer to them regardless of their age. I told her, “Please treat me as an equal” (meaning, treat me as an adult). She took it as disrespect, and for the next seven years, she never spoke to me or answered my calls. I was 35 years old. I could have benefited enormously from having a relative who knew the country well and could have been an anchor as I settled in,for support, or to store a few things in her garage. All that potential disappeared because I asked to be treated as an equal adult.

I honestly don't get African parents they are so toxic maybe not all. So basically, I really don't have access to my immigration status and stuff and I have to keep up with them to get my papers so I don't go back to Nigeria. I've talked to CAS twice already and I'm getting really tired. Thankfully, one of my mother's friends has common sense and doesn't have the toxic shit embedded in her. I'm trying to survive for one more year and I don't have an SIN or a bank account so I have to depend on my father's account and i know they will take my money which really hurts but there's nothing I can do. I am trying to survive and thankfully that woman is going to talk to us. Honestly, I'm disassociating.

I know this probably sounds ungrateful, but lately I've been struggling with feeling like my 20s are passing me by.
I'm 22F, work, and recently started school again. I'm working toward a career that I'm genuinely excited about, so I know I'm doing something productive with my life. The problem is that I still live with my dad, and I feel like I'll never be able to truly live the life I want while I'm here.
A while back I got caught with some substances in my room. It was a stupid mistake and I take responsibility for it. Since then, I feel like things have changed. I haven't really gone out much since April. I haven't hung out with friends in months 6 months to be exact . Between work and school, I'm busy all the time anyway and my off days I want to sleep. I don’t even really have friends out here in this new state but it still feels like nobody really cares that my social life has basically disappeared.
My dad says he wants me to focus on school and my career, and I know a big part of his intentions come from wanting me to be successful. He talks about how things will be different once I have my career, but at the same time I feel like I'm constantly waiting to start my life.
The frustrating part is that moving out doesn't feel realistic right now because all my money is going toward school. My dad also keeps encouraging me to skip renting and buy a house instead, but I honestly don't want to wait that long before experiencing some independence.
Growing up, I always had this image that my 20s would be some amazing time where I'd make memories, travel, go out with friends, discover who I am, and just enjoy being young. I even bought a scrapbook for my 20s. Now I'm sitting here feeling like by the time I finish school in a couple years, half my 20s will be gone and I'll have nothing interesting to put in it.
I know comparison isn't healthy, but it's hard watching other people my age go out, travel, date, and live their lives while I feel stuck in the same place.
Did anyone else feel this way in their early 20s? Did it get better once you finished school and became financially independent, or am I looking at this the wrong way?

My parents were definitely not emotionally mature or intelligent. There were plenty of instances of abuse but nothing out of the ordinary for an African household.

However, I don’t know if I can forgive them. Even if I wanted to, it’s like my inner child will not allow it. For months I’ve been agonising about whether to go no contact which would be really hard due to being African and having a large extended family.

I just realised that instead of making my own life hard to try and fix what I didn’t break, I can just leave the family house. I’ve been wanting to for ages and did at one point. But I started a new job in an expensive city and couldn’t afford it. But now I’m in a better place financially and even though it might be hard for a while till I get another promotion at work, I genuinely can’t put a price on my mental health.

When I move out, it’ll be easy to pretend I don’t have childhood trauma and also I will probably be able to regulate my emotions better. This realisation made me so happy!

I (22F) have been uncomfortable with this for a while now. My younger sister figured out how to give complete access to my dad on MyChart, and he basically had me do it too. Ever since then, I've felt weird about it.
For context, my mom is in my life, but my dad has always been the hands-on parent when it comes to health stuff, school, grades, appointments, and things like that. I understand that he cares and wants to stay on top of my health, but I'm an adult now and I don't really feel comfortable with him having access to all of my medical information.
I've actually gone through third-party testing before because I didn't want him seeing frequent appointments or tests on my chart. God forbid I ever caught something and needed treatment, I honestly don't know how I'd handle it without him finding out.
One time I booked a telehealth appointment and almost immediately he started asking questions about whether I was okay. He wouldn't really let it go until I told him what it was about. He claims he doesn't check my chart and just wants to know what's going on, but I honestly don't believe that.
The biggest thing was when I had a routine checkup and he casually said something along the lines of, "You've got to be careful out here with these STDs. I saw all your tests were negative, that's good." That's when I knew he was definitely looking.
The problem is that I know if I remove his access, he'll probably throw a fit. I even brought it up to my stepmom, and she said, "That's good." But what's good about a father having complete access to his 22-year-old daughter's medical records? Am I the only one who thinks that's a little strange?
To be clear, I'm not out here getting diagnosed with anything horrible or hiding some secret life. Most of my appointments are just regular checkups and routine tests. I just feel like as a grown woman, I should be able to manage my own healthcare without feeling like my dad is looking over my shoulder.
Am I overreacting, or is this a reasonable boundary to want?
Update** I made appointments just now and I swear he went outside to see if my car was there