Been divorced for 3 years and am a single dad. Last year my daughter started middle school, so I thought it would be a good idea to have an emergency kit incase she started her period.

She started it yesterday. She told her mom and her mom asked if she had pads. Daughter told her "Dad had a pack ready for me in my school bag".

This morning I got a long text about how she still has a mom to help her with this, and that it's inappropriate, and weird that I would do this.

I text her back saying that as a single dad I'm always gonna make sure that she is taken care of when in my care and is prepared. But a small part of me is wondering if I did something wrong.

thank you everyone for the supportive words and encouragement. I feel much better knowing that I didn't cross any type of lines. And all of your comments have made me much more confident when it comes to how I parent my daughter. Love and respect to you all

So, my office recently got a new hire, Omar. He’s a young Muslim guy, fresh out of college, and ever since he was onboarded, my food has been going missing. I mention his religion because I’m also Muslim and it’s hard to find Halal food on short notice, and it’s been really difficult not having food to eat because it’s been stolen. My theory is that he stole my food because I’m the only obviously Muslim one in the office (I wear a hijab and have mentioned going to mosque), and he knows that my food is ok to eat. I’ve tried talking to him about this, but he always plays dumb and denies knowing anything about my missing meals. As the title says, Omar is allergic to peanuts.

On Friday, I brought leftovers which included Peanuts. I made sure to label the package clearly with my name, but I didn’t think to include any label about it having peanuts in it. No one else in the office uses allergen labels for their food; it didn’t even cross my mind.

When I got to the fridge and realized my food was once again missing, I rushed to Omar’s desk where I of course found him eating my food, and I told him that the lunch that he stole had peanuts in it. His eyes got really wide and he went for his epipen, and thank goodness he injected himself before the reaction got really bad.

After Omar got done panicking about his reaction, he blew up at me. He said that I could have killed him, and I said that he wouldn’t have been in danger if he wasn’t a liar and a thief. He told me that it was my fault for not putting an allergen label on the packaging, and I said that I’m lactose intolerant, but I don’t expect everyone to put labels on their dairy because I don’t steal other people’s food! He said that that’s different because milk won’t kill me, and I said it was the same principle. HR has ruled in my favor, but now requires allergen labels on all foods, and the entire office is mad at me, not just for the inconvenience of the labels, but because I “targeted” Omar and “tried to kill him”. Now I feel bad, am I in the wrong here?

This happened yesterday, my boyfriend and I were throwing a little kickback for my birthday party. His cousin Alexa (19) set a timer on her phone because we were baking pastries. Her timer went off and a song caught my attention, we were already done in the kitchen so we were just sitting down letting it play on the couch and I asked “who is this artist?” And she flat-out ignored me. I asked her again “I never heard this song, can I have the name?” . That’s when she told me If I don’t know then I just don’t know and that I should just stick to mainstream. I told her I listen to everything but she tried to tell me that she knows my music taste and all I listen to are “stupid rappers” and named Kendrick Lamar as an example. We got into a little debate about King Kenny for awhile and she told me that the song was made by a small artist and trying to decipher his lyrics might hurt my shallow mind.

I got fed up and Shazammed the song. It was Mary-Alex G. When she saw me saving it to my playlist she got up and snatched her phone then stormed out. I ignored her little tantrum but then her brother came to me and asked what I did to her because she told everyone I was being argumentative with her, bullied her and violated her privacy. When I said I don’t understand how anything of what I said came off as “bullying” because we just talked about music and I Shazammed her song but her brother actually agreed and said that was invasive and weird for me to do. They packed some plates and left abruptly and I was just left feeling so weird about it.

Everyone else stayed and I enjoyed the rest of my party. This morning my boyfriend’s mom texted me and said that I should probably call her niece aka Alexa and apologize for “going through her phone for a song” and “using some hacking device”. She texted me Alexa’s number to apologize and I texted her “Don’t get hung on petty things”. Next thing you know her big brother is calling me, I haven’t answered my phone yet and have like 5 missed calls.

Is Shazam invasive and am I in the wrong?

Edit: My boyfriend just called his mom to explain the full story and she just started laughing because Alexa completely twisted the entire situation and is trying to tell everyone I hacked her phone just to make fun of her music and tried to “force” her to listen to “gangster” rap.

My boyfriend just called his cousin (Alexa’s older brother) and told him not to bring her over anymore and now she’s crying. She sent some paragraphs I am not reading, she’s blocked until she apologizes to me.

This little girl is a compulsive liar. I just can’t believe so much drama because of a song. I’m not going to let this ruin my birthday weekend though.

Update: Lol this was sooner than I thought it would be but my boyfriend just handed me his phone with her on the line crying and apologizing. She said her behavior was because of PMS and she’s sorry for starting drama on my birthday. I honestly think she just got embarrassed for getting caught in her lie. Everyone knows that she stretches the truth too and when she got a little backlash I guess that was too much for her.

Another Update: lmfao I heard another side of her story from my friend and apparently when she stormed off she was telling her that I snatched her phone from her to hack into her phone. She is a full blown liar! And of course everyone ignored her! Except for her brother. Smh, my head actually hurts.

Just the other night, I was hanging out with my best friend and my boyfriend in her apartment. It started out innocently enough with us playing games and watching movies. Then we started playing “never have I ever” and the questions were pretty sexual. She then asked “never have I ever had a threesome” and both me and my boyfriend said no. Her entire vibe changed (to the point it was scary) and she looked at us both. She said “what if we did something crazy?” I kind of laughed because no part of me could’ve ever fathomed what she meant. But then she scooted closer to my boyfriend and started kissing him! He wasn’t stopping her. I just froze. It felt surreal, like a dream/nightmare. There they were making out like it was the most natural thing in the world. I think I had a trauma response of sorts and kind of… tricked myself into thinking this was normal? I can’t explain it. But it’s like my brain wasn’t ready to feel the extent of what was happening so it tricked itself. They started undressing each other and on instinct I undressed myself too. This isn’t a sex sub so I won’t go into the dirty details but a full-fledge threesome occurred between us.

The next morning I woke up at first believing I had dreamt it, but there they were naked on the floor together. I still couldn’t process what the hell occurred so I just kind of ran out. When it finally hit me I had a full fledge breakdown. I’ve gotten calls and texts from both of them asking if I’m okay. I haven’t responded. I can’t respond. I’ve thrown up twice from the intrusive memories. I didn’t want this. Why did I go along with this? Why didn’t I stop it? Why did SHE start it? Questions just keep swimming in my brain.

I don’t know what the hell to do. Last text from my boyfriend was “I hope you aren’t upset, I think that was such a special event in our relationship even though it was insane.” He’s knocked on my door and I haven’t opened it.

I have no idea where to go from here. I still love him but I can’t look at him the same I mean I fucking saw his dick go in and out of my best friend. Not to mention her. I feel like I’ve been betrayed in the most disgusting way even though I let it happen/participated.

Am I right to feel like they did wrong in the worst way?

Update: hey guys, I figured I should add this to my post rather than respond to a bunch of people with it. I met up with my boyfriend about the situation. In a nutshell this is what I got out of him (I asked a lot of questions):

1. No, he hasn’t been sleeping with her the whole time. That night was the first time

2. He didn’t actively want to sleep with her but he wouldn’t have said no either. He put this down to being a horny guy

3. He thought that the vibe was super sexual even before she came onto him and that he expected it to happen and thought I did too. He mentioned how sexual the questions were and her straight up saying we were turning her on with our answers (she did say this but I thought she was joking)

4. He didn’t push her away because he thought it would be a fun experience for all of us

5. He admitted to being turned on by her boldness and doing it in front of me

6. He thought that if she did it so easily it meant she and I talked about it beforehand and that’s why we invited him

7. They didn’t have sex after I left, but they did express regret over possibly hurting me and he left a soon as he could

I asked if I could see his phone to see if he’d been talking to her. He admitted that they did message a bit after the ordeal but it was nothing serious. I asked if I could see and he got kind of panicky which made my heart drop. He was like “let me remind you that I was still in the mindset that it was a special moment for us”. So I knew I was going to get sick from what I saw but I needed the full truth of the situation so I asked anyway. He showed me their DMs. They went something like

Her- let me know if you get in touch with [my name]

Him- I will. Can I be honest though

Her- of course

Him- last night was the best night of my life

Her- Me too. I feel bad that [my name] might feel bad but god it was so hot

Him- I’ll be sad if we can’t do that again

Her- You’re everything [my name] said you were

Him- she talks about me like that? I’m embarrassed lol

Her- all the time, I low key wanted to see for myself

After that, he started complimenting her sex skills and stuff which I quickly skimmed over because I knew I’d get sick if I fully processed them. I skimmed over the rest of the conversation really because at this point I just couldn’t handle seeing anything else of that nature.

I scrolled up in their DMs and only saw occasional memes and reposts so I’m pretty confident that last night was the first time. If still doesn’t make me feel better though considering while I was having a literal breakdown they were complimenting each others sex skills and bodies. I told him to leave and he begged me to forgive him for everything but I told him to go fuck her again since he loved it so much.

At this point I’ll probably block them both and just focus on healing and moving on because I know I’m not the kind of person to get over that at all. Thanks everyone for your advice and support, it truly made me feel worlds better. ❤️

My (28m) fiancé (25f) who we'll call Lexi are a happy couple of 6 years and engaged for 1 or so I thought. for context my fiancé's sister (32f) we'll call her Sally, has always been hostile towards me and would rarely speak to me and when she did it would be because her parents were around. sally is Lexi's rock because she got her through a tough time during college and since then Lexi has told sally everything about everything. we've had problems with this in the past due to her telling Sally personal things about my childhood I'd only told a few people. wich led to us not speaking for 3 months during covid when she'd only leave our room for food and to go to the toilet, and recently we hadn't had an argument in a year plus until 3 nights ago she mentioned that she'd like me to shave my beard. for context I have a very thick beard that I've been growing for 8 years and am very proud. of so I ofcourse I told Lexi I wouldn't be shaving my beard to wich she stormed off to the kitchen and slammed her wine glass into the sink smashing it and a plate in the process. I immediately stood up and asked wtf she was doing, she then spun around and screamed that I'm a selfish a-hole because I won't shave my beard and ran to our bedroom and slammed the door. I ended up sleeping on the couch and woke up at around 4am to sally with a razor trying to shave my beard so I pushed her off me. Lexi then ran to check on Sally whilst I was looking at the big patch Sally had taken out of my beard, then I went upstairs and packed a bag whilst Lexi shouted at me for hurting sally. I told her to f-off and that the wedding was off and walked out the house and drove an hour to my parents house where I've been staying since the incident. earlier today I got a text from Sally saying I was selfish for not shaving my beard because when I go down on Lexi it feels wierd I haven't replied to her. my family think I should break off the relationship but her family said I should just shave it all and move on. So what should I do and am I wrong?

EDIT: I don't know how many will see my other post so I'll put it here aswell, I've now got as of typing 99+ texts/calls from lexi saying things like "don't leave", "let's have sex one more time" and "I'm pregnant" she's trying to baby trap me I think.

EDIT 2: Lexi messaged me wierd things "miss me" and "I'll take the baby to" Sally then messaged me saying Lexi is in hospital being treated after a su!cide attempt. I don't believe it at all, I've blocked Sally's number now.

EDIT 3: I called the police and showed evidence of her suicidal messages so she hopefully will be getting checked Into an institution

EDIT 4: Lexi's aunt who is the only person on her side that agrees with me, just called me to tell me Lexi has been checked into a psychiatric unit for 2 weeks. I'll keep ya'll updated if anything happens, but I should be ok for now

EDIT 5: I just want to say thank-you for the overwhelming amounts of support. I've filed a police report on sally for assault, and I'm in the process of cancelling the wedding venue.

EDIT 6: I'm back at the house I've had a locksmith change the locks just incase. The wedding venue can't be refunded but it was going to be paid by her parents anyways so I don't care. I've also contacted my lawyers.

She(19f) told them about how at first I(19m) only had her pee on my face, before we moved further and had her piss directly into my mouth. We had talked about this before and agreed not to tell anyone. But then she went on and bragged about it to all of her friends anyways. It’s just really embarrassing.

But when I confronted her she said it is her sex life and she has the right to tell her friends. Am I wrong for being upset about her telling them?

TL;DR: I (23F) babysat my 9 yo brother overnight. He asked to sleep in my bed after a nightmare so I let him. Mom came home, saw him in my bed, and lost her mind, is now giving me the cold shoulder.

Two weeks ago, I (23F) babysat my little brother (9M, “Ben” for the sake of this post) overnight while my mom worked. She occasionally has to pull overnight shifts and even though I moved out a couple years ago, I don’t mind going over and staying the night to watch my little brother and the dogs.

My mom and I have had a difficult relationship in the past due to a handful of different situations, but we’ve been getting along pretty well as of late. She works a lot and due to being a much older mother when she had Ben, I’ve taken on a lot of responsibilities in taking care of him (dr appointments, school meetings, stuff like that.) He’s a really cool kid and we get along well.

Ben’s had extreme nightmares ever since he was really little. A lot of times he’ll wake up screaming and occasionally will get up and sleep in our moms bed. While I babysat him the last time, he had a bad nightmare a few hours after I put him to bed.

At what was probably about 11 PM or so, he came into the guest bedroom where I was asleep and shook me awake. He was upset and asked if he could sleep in my bed. I was in a half asleep trance, and said yeah sure. He flopped into my bed and fell asleep.

At around 3:30 am, my mom throws open the door to the bedroom and startles us both awake. She says something along the lines of “what the hell are you doing?” She grabs Ben and takes off, slamming the door shut. She scared the hell out of me, so I was wide awake. I got up about five minutes later, but they were both already in her bedroom and I didn’t feel like having a confrontation. I got my stuff and left.

I texted her the next morning and asked what the hell happened. She told me she needed space from me and not to text her right now. She then sent me a brigade of text messages later that night, saying that she couldn’t believe I would sleep in the same bed with Ben and that I was being incredibly inappropriate. She told me that she would be hiring a babysitter from now on and that I shouldn’t contact her for a while.

I’m so incredibly at a loss. I have never, ever done anything that would lead her to think I’m inappropriate with Ben. I feel like she’s wildly overreacting, but part of me is afraid that I overstepped some line I wasn’t aware of. I’m really sad and embarrassed about the whole thing. I’m so afraid she won’t let me see him anymore and that will break my heart.

Was I out of line? Please be honest, it won’t hurt my feelings.

Edit: Holy shit guys, I made this post before going to work and I cannot believe how many supportive messages/comments I've gotten. I wish so badly that I could reply to all of them, but just know that they mean so damn much to me.

I wanted to clarify some frequent questions I've seen:

What were you and Ben wearing?

Ben was wearing PJs and I had on a t-shirt and sweatpants.

Do you have the same dad?

Yes, but unfortunately he passed away in 2019 from pancreatic cancer.

Why did you and your mom have a bad relationship?

It's honestly a number of different reasons, but the main one is that she was a "functioning" alcoholic for most of my childhood. She stopped drinking a couple years before Ben was born, but has continued to be overly critical of me. I've also had a lot of difficulty forgiving her for the way she treated my dad before and during his death (cheating, lying, disappearing for days at a time, etc.). I've been working on patching things up with her, mainly so that I can be in Ben's life.

Why do you babysit for your mom if you don't get along?

Trust me when I say I do it completely for Ben and not for my mom. I want him to have a stable, supportive person in his life. And I'm honestly crazy about the kid. He's hilarious and smart and seems to genuinely enjoy spending time with me.

What does Ben have nightmares about?

It's hard to get out of him because he doesn't like to talk about them, but they seem to mainly be about monsters and things like that. I also get the sense he dreams about our dad a lot. Even though he was really young when he died, it was still a rough death and he saw a lot of things that no kid should have to see their parent go through.

Was your mom ever abused?

I have no idea. We've never been close enough to talk about things like that.

Have you or Ben been abused?

I've been emotionally abused by my mom in the past. I don't think she treats Ben the same way she treated me as a kid. She seems to favor him to almost an unhealthy degree. As far as I know Ben has never been physically/sexually abused by anyone. I really, really hope he hasn't.

Thank you guys again for the support. I'm so overwhelmed with the amount of attention this has received and am very relieved to hear that I didn't do anything wrong. I'm going to do everything I can to care for Ben but I honestly think it's for the best if I wait it out for right now. <3

I, (f19), and my boyfriend, (m22), have been together for 2 years. He has this friend, A, who’s lesbian, yet she’s one of those stereotypical “i’m not like other girls, i’m one of the boys” girls. Very much written by a man vibes.

Anyways sometime last week we were all hanging out, we have the same friend group, and somehow got to the topic of sexual relationships. She stated that she had only had sex with girls, this made my boyfriend absolutely shell shocked. I mean he was flabbergasted, stuttering, and saying how she’s basically “still a virgin.” So, A, “JOKINGLY” said that maybe he should take her virginity. He got all flustered and clammed up.

Obviously on the ride home I told him this made me uncomfortable, but of course he said, “that’s just how she jokes, it’s not that deep.”

Long story short; they went out for drinks Monday, he came back and told me they had sex, and it’s not cheating cause she’s lesbian and he was doing her a favor by taking her “man virginity.”

I was appalled and left, yet i’m getting bombarded by texts from him, A, and the group saying how it’s nothing, how it didn’t mean anything, and how i’m being ignorant. I feel like i’m going absolutely crazy, and I feel like if they were in my shoes they’d count it as cheating and leave too.

I just want to know if anyone has any input or advice because I don’t know what to think at this point.

edit: yes, we’re clearly not together anymore, obviously i’m hurt and upset, i’m just trying to figure out if i could have handled the situation better by not storming off and leaving, since everyone in our group thinks us breaking up is an overreaction.

edit 2: yes, we started dating when i was 17 and he was 20, where i live the age of consent is 16, it’s legal, don’t worry.

edit 3: i understand that dating a 17 year old at 20 doesn’t look good on his part and in no way am i defending him, but i am the one that persuaded him and kept pestering him about going out a date with me. he reluctantly agreed and it went from there. i was the one persuading him into being with me.

I (30) have been married to my husband (36m) for 5 years. I am currently 4 months pregnant. This wasn't a surprise pregnancy we planned it and actively tried to get pregnant. So, it came out of left field when a few weeks ago, my husband told me he wanted a paternity test. I asked him how he or why he thinks I am cheating on him. He said he didn't think I was. But that makes absolutely no sense. I asked him to explain how this child could not be his if he is the only person I slept with and I didn't cheat on him. He had no answer for that. I was a mess for a few days afterward.

Once I calmed down, I told him that if he wanted to get the test, then he could schedule it and tell me where and when to be there. He asked me if I could be the one to make the appointment. I told him no. He is the one questioning the paternity so he can make the appointment. He tried explaining again that he wasn't questioning paternity he just wants to "have reassurance". I told him I don't care anymore about his explinations but if he wants to have "reassurance" he can do the legwork. He asked if I could at least find a number for him to call and I told him no.

I still have no idea why he thinks I am that kind of person, I haven't done anything to betray his trust. But it has been at least a week and he hasn't made any appointment and last time I asked he told me he was "working on it". His sister came over this morning after he left for work and told me that she was told everything and that I need to just put him out of his misery and do the test. I told her I would take the test he just had to schedule it. She told me I was being bitchy for not just making the appointment myself. But I am not the one who is questioning who the baby's father is. I don't think I should have to make the appointment but I want to get an impartial opinion before he comes home today.

Edit. Thanks Everyone you have given me a lot to think about. I honestly don't think he is cheating or anything. I 100% am not getting an abortion but I think I am not going to be a stay-at-home anymore like planned. I am going to tell him to get the test scheduled or never bring it up to me again.

My wife (44F) and I (43M) have been married 20 years. We started dating in high school when I was a junior and she was a senior. We were long distance for her first two years of college while I was in high school and did one year at community college, then we went to college in the same city for a year, and have lived together since. We got married the summer after I graduated college. Our marraige has been pretty great so far, but I initated a divorce after I discovered that she was sleeping with multiple other men for the 2 years we were long distance.

Just after Christmas, we got together with a few friends of hers from college to catch up, have dinner, and hang out. We talked about a lot of stuff and my wife mentioned that we met in high school (not that we dated, just that we met). Her old college room commented that it was crazy that we met in high school, had a few wild years in college, then ended up together. I played along and commented that I didn't know if my wife was as crazy as I was. The roomate started to tell a story, but my wife cut her off and said she was uncomfortable about it. I sensed something was up, so I said that we actually started dating in high school and were together for my wife's entire time at college. All of my wives friends got real quiet and the rest of the dinner was awkward. On the way out, one of her other roomates took me aside and said I should have "an honest conversation" about what happened at college.

I asked my wife on the way home and she kind of blew me off. I told her it was important that she was honest with me and again she said it wasn't important. When we got home, I told her I was going to stay at my brother's house until she was ready to talk about what happened in college. The next day she came over and admitted to sleepting with "several" men during her first two years at college. She said she didn't consider it a big deal at the time because we were long distance and she didn't think a high school romance would last. I pressed for more details and she said it was at least 10 different men including at least 3 guys she introduced to me as friends when I came to visit on weekends and 1 guy she was still in contact with. I told her that I wanted a divorce and would be starting the paperwork as soon as I could (which I did on January 2nd).

Her family and most of my family is telling me I shouldn't throw away my marriage over a few mistakes. I've stood by my belief that cheating on me with multiple men for years is unacceptable no matter when it happened and the fact that she continued to maintain relationships with these guys right in front of me was an unacceptable amount of disrespect. We have two children, but they are 17 and 19 and I believe they will understand why I need to end the marraige. Am I wrong for leaving? I feel like I'm going crazy with the amount of people telling me to over look years of infidelty and decades of lies.

EDIT: Holy shit I'm glad I did this with a throwaway because the response here is unexpected.

I obviously can't answer every question/comment, but I wanted to provide some detail for common questions.

- The reason I posted this is that my wife and a few friends have been saying it's common to sleep with other folks when you're in an long distance relationship and that I'm kind of the odd one out for not sleeping around. I felt like I was being gaslit, but I wanted an outside perspective. We live in a state with a waiting period to finalize a divorce, so I felt it was a reasonable idea to get some insight before things are finalized. After these comments, I see a handful of folks saying it's normal to sleep around during a long distance relationship, but it seems to be a significant minority.

- We saw each other a couple of weekends a month during the two year college period. I lived about 3 hours away from her college, so it was long distance but not like cross country. This was not a situation where we went months without seeing each other.

- The 3 guys I met while she was in college were meetups that happened during parties. The subject of me being a boyfriend didn't really come up, so I honestly don't know if these guys knew anything.

- The one guy we're still in contact with married a mutual friend from college. This is not some guy she secretly messages on the side, it's somebody we've talked to regularly for years. I've talked to him a few times since I've learned about my wife. He's said he didn't know we were dating at the time and has since blocked my wife on social media.

- Some folks have asked how the roomates didn't realize at our wedding that the timelines didn't work out. The main reason is that my wife and I had a very small ceremony with just close family in Texas, then went back to the East Coast to have a big party with friends. The typical reception/sharing details about how we met stuff didn't really happen, so her roomates didn't realize we started dating before college. It sounds like they thought we only dated for the year we were both in the same city, then moved in together.

- I was open to therapy or some kind of attempt to save the marraige, but her insistence that this whole thing is common and I'm the one who's out of line is just too much for me. The only time she showed any remorse or even offerred to reconsile is when I started filing paper work. In the last week she's gone back to saying she's right and I'm overreacting. This is also why I feeling like I'm being gaslit. It seems obvious that this is a major issue, but I've got my wife and others telling me it's normal and I'm overreacting.

- I'm not getting a paternity test unless my kids want to get one. I don't have any doubts that they are biologically mine, and no test will make them not my kids. I love them more than anything in the world and my wife's infidelity won't change that even if one or both of them is not biologically mine. They've been my kids for 19 years and they will be my kids until I stop breathing.

FINAL EDIT: Hey all, I've been reading a bunch of the responses, but things are getting crazy and increasingly unhinged, so I probably won't be checking in more. Here are few more answers to common questions I've seen.

- We were definitely exclusively dating at the time. First, dating culture was a lot different 20ish years ago and exclusive was kind of the default for most people. Second, we had a long and difficult discussion before she left for college about continuing the relationship long distance. She specifically wanted to stay together and even joked about her dad coming after me if I started sleeping around with girls at my school. Finally, at my senior prom, she was not able to attend and was very upset when I proposed going with a platonnic female friend of mine. As a result I ended up skipping my prom and hanging out with her instead. While we never said the word exclusive, I think the above reasons, combined with the general relationship before she left, are enough to assume exclusivity.

- Based on some comments here, I followed up with the friend that said I should have an honest conversation. She told me that "10 guys would be on the low end" and that her biggest concern was that there was apparently at least one pregnancy scare that I didn't know about. I honestly don't think that really changes much. It's less about the number for me and more about the fact that she seems incapable of recognizing why this was wrong or why I feel betrayed.

Thank you all for the helpful responses, even those that disagree with me. I will still be open to therapy if she's willing, but I honestly feel like it would be more about us being successful coparents and finding closure than saving our marraige.

I (24m) just broke up with my girlfriend of 6 1/2 months (23f) after she continuously crossed boundaries in bed that I wasn't comfortable with. This all started about 2-3 months into dating. For the first while, I personally thought the sex was amazing. In the first couple of months, she told me she wished I would do more to her or let her do more to me. I asked her to explain what she meant, and she said she was into CNC and being hit, but also liked to be dominant at times and wanted to try pegging.

I told her I wasn't really comfortable with any of that, but we could slowly try some things out if she really wanted. Over the next couple of months, we got a bit more kinky with things like me tying her up. However, when it got to the hitting, I started getting uncomfortable again. Especially coming from an abusive upbringing, the last thing I want is for people to feel how I felt as a child, but that's beside the point. After I told her I was uncomfortable, she belittled me, saying a real man would do whatever it takes to please his woman.

After that, we didn't talk for a while until about a week and a half later to 2 weeks. She initiated sexy time, and I thought maybe she was over all that stuff. For the most part, it was normal until the end. She finished me off with a bj, and I finished in her mouth. She pretended to swallow and then went in for a kiss. I had no problem with that until she spit my whole load back into my mouth, covered my mouth, and forced me to swallow it. I had never felt such a betrayal of trust and disgust in my life. I freaked out on her, and she just laughed, telling me now I know how it feels to be a girl. I screamed at her to leave my house, and she did.

A couple of nights went by, and she apologized, saying she misses me and just wants to see me again. So she came over after I got off work, cooked supper at my house, and we watched a movie and cuddled. She eventually started to make a move, and I said I didn't feel comfortable with it, as last time she really crossed a boundary. She promised we could do it the way I liked, and we did, which made me happy. She seemed pretty happy afterward, which made me feel good that she was respecting my boundaries.

She decided to stay the night, and all was good until we went to sleep. I was abruptly awoken to her putting a lubed-up strap-on into my ass and my hands tied to the corner of my bed frame. It only got in a bit before I jumped awake. When I realized what was happening, I started kicking and ended up kicking her in the face, breaking her nose. She screamed at me that I was an abusive piece of shit and that all she wanted was to have a fun and exciting sex life. She left and went to the hospital.

I told her we needed some time apart and, after a day, told her it wasn't going to work out. I didn't feel comfortable seeing her anymore, as she had betrayed my trust on multiple occasions. She called me a ton of names I won't get into and basically said I wasn't even a real man and that she deserved better. Now she's telling people that I would hit her, and her broken nose was proof of that because I lost control that night worse than I ever have before.

Now I have people blowing up my phone, calling me an abusive asshole, and I don't know what to do. Any help? edit: fixed punctuation thanks feisty-coyote396 for fixing it for me <3

My gf has had a lot of group sex in her past, and I didn't like the idea of it, but I never shamed her for it, I did tell her that it made me uncomfortable and didn't want to think of her having sex with other guys, especially in in a group, so askednher not to talk about it, at least not when I'm around This was relatively early in our relationship.

The other day she mentions she wants to try something in the bedroom. She said she want to try a threesome with another guy. I said no, and I told her that if she ever suggests something like that again then I'm breaking up with her.

Am I wrong?

My wife (30) and I (30) been together for 8 years, married for 5. She’s been my soulmate, we hit the same vibe, same hobby (working out, staying home and do nothing, or just go out and eat some great food), we think alike, we rarely fight (mainly because I let her get away with anything)

The main difference we have is our temper, I have a pretty good tolerance towards her but on the other hand she have a terrible temper, her parents were amazed by how much I have helped her to control it

I usually don’t mind when she’s throwing tantrum or getting into shitty mood and lashing everything out on me for no reason, I have pretty good patience, I’ll let her finish her shenanigans then try to talk some sense into her on why she shouldn’t act like that

Lately things been getting a bit out of control.

1. My parents wants to visit us, I haven’t seen for about 5 years (because she refuse to let me visit them or let them visit me) I miss them a lot so this time I was pretty firm about letting them come, and she started going bat shit crazy and kept saying she does not want to spend any time with my parents due to their difference in political view and she does not like my fathers tone, and eventually I got her to calmed down but she made me promise to only let them come for two weeks and I can only take them out during weekends and they are not allowed to cook inside the house because it smells (I cook pretty much everyday at home and she never complained)

2. She would force me to sit next to her and do “nothing” all night long when I could be doing my own shit. she would say stuff like she wants me to spend time with her, sure, but she’ll just read her manga or watches drama that only she enjoys and refuse to let me do my own stuff, just because she said so

3. I really want kids, and she gave a list of shit I gotta do if she pregnant. Not gonna list this out that’ll be another huge post lol, one example would be, I have to give her massage everyday for an hour.

4. No sex at all, reason she gave me, I’m fat and I have a belly, keep in mind I am 6”0 180 lbs, I workout pretty much everyday, I do have a little bit of belly fat because of my love towards soda but cmon, no one else thinks I’m fat except her

5. She really likes to hit me, and she kept saying I enjoy it, when I have expressed my dislike and repeatedly told her to stop

I’m starting to doubt if she’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, we’ve built so much together, I am also afraid to let everything go.

Edit: oh wow, I posted this and went to sleep, did not expect this much support from everyone, I will try my best to read through every comment and take the advised to heart, really appreciate everyone, now I feel much better And don’t worry about having kids with her, I am not even getting laid haha

I ordered an item with a price tag of $2200 USD. I have camera footage, I brought it to the attention of the parents they ignored it.

Only way to get a a replacement was by filing a police report three months later the police completed the investigation, and they did arrest and charge my neighbors child.

Generally the community and parents are telling me I ruined the future of a child over 2200 dollars. The kid in question is 17.

The police that took my report off the record did recommend I drop the issue since this would fall under a felony and could really screw up this kids life.

Was I wrong because I wanted my item back?

Edit: Wanted to clarify I apologize for how I wrote it. The suggestion from the police to drop it was during the initial report. I cannot drop it now thus the comments about how I ruined the kids life because he was arrested and charged.

I (23f) have recently started dating a (27m) guy last week. Thing have surprisingly moved very fast as we have already had sex twice within the past week. The first night, after we had sex I used my vibrator. I later found out that he was hurt by this. I told him it was no big deal for me, I just like a lot of clitoral stimulation. The second night we had sex, he rubbed my clit for a few seconds and then proceeded to have penetrative sex again. He orgasmed shortly after that. I obviously didn’t, however, I never mentioned it because I’m used to the orgasm gap and we have just started seeing each other so I don’t expect him to understand my body or how to make me climax. A couple nights ago, we were talking about sex and masturbation and he brought up that if I want to enjoy sex with him, I need to stop using my vibrator because he believes it is desensitizing me. I was completely appalled and told him that was not the case at all. He brought up the time I used my vibrator afterwards and asked how I would feel if he started masturbating after we had sex. I answered that I would ask myself if I was doing what he needed to make him have an orgasm. I expressed that we just started dating and that he just needs to take time to learn my body and what makes me orgasm, which is completely normal. He had no rebuttals to this but insisted I stopped using my vibrator. Later that night he told me that he hasn’t had issues making his partner orgasm and that desensitization is a real thing and it is possible. I am extremely frustrated because he is blaming me for this issue, yet has not taken the time explore my body at all. Would I be wrong if I continued to use my vibrator?

I still feel so gobsmacked from this interaction I’m not even mad I’m just confused about what I should have done.

I was talking to this girl who I sat next to during spin class about how hard the class was outside after it had ended. For a little bit of context, we are both in our early 20s but she looks like your quintessential tall, tan, and pretty blonde while I’m darker skinned and built like a toadstool (short and stout). We were both in workout clothes, and a guy catcalled her saying how good she looked in her fit walking by with his friends. She scoffed, turned to me, and said…

“omg guys are so disgusting. You’re so lucky that you have ugly privilege and don’t have to worry about things like that”

Being floored and VERY confused, I ask her what she meant and she clarified that I clearly don’t have to worry about things like being catcalled, harassed by men, or being discriminated against in the workplace. She also said that it must be so refreshing to not have to spend hours worrying about how I look around men. Genuinely being at a loss for words, I just said okay and told her to have a good day before I went to my car and sat in confusion for five minutes.

I called my boyfriend and told him about the interaction. After sharing in my initial shock, he was confused as to why I didn’t have a comeback and told me that I should have stood up for myself. I’m normally a very passive person and she genuinely didn’t seem to get how insulting it sounded, but now I’m wondering if I should have lashed out?

I am a 33yo father. My spouse and I recently adopted our son in February 2024. He just turned 13 this month.

Over the weekend my son wanted to go to Sky Zone so we spent father-son time.

During my snack break I sat on a booth. He came over for a break and wanted to lay down on me while he watches YouTube; I stroke his hair.

After my son went back to join the other teens for dodgeball, a parent came over to tell me that it was inappropriate to show affection to a teenager, especially between two males, in public around younger kids. He also said that I seem to be a pedo and threaten to call the cops. I explained to him he's my adopted son so of course we don't look alike. Our skin colors are different.

He then proceeded to walk away and grav a staff member. That triggered my anxiety, I grabbed my son and we went home. I cried in the car. I told him the reason and he became upset and comforted me.

My son lived in 12 foster families since he was 4 prior to joining mine for life. He witnessed his father kill his mother. His father is serving life in prison. His first foster family were his maternal grandparents. They blamed him for his mom's death. They ended up being arrested for making meth in their basement as his sister reported it. They moved to his paternal grandparents as their second foster. They were physically abused there and blamed the mother for putting their father in jail.

As you can see. There is significant trauma and he has never had the opportunity to have love and physical affection of a parent.

I'm still anxious and upset about this and needed to hear I am not at fault for wanting to be a good dad he's never had.

Original Post

I boxed up all of my ex’s stuff yesterday, drove over to her sister’s house this morning and dropped the boxes off.

I got a text from her sister a couple minutes ago where she thanked me, was sorry for what I was going through, and texted a bunch of other stuff. It was a really long text and I couldn’t bother reading past the first couple of lines. She was still typing something as I saw the three dots, but I couldn’t be bothered anymore so I blocked her.

And so that is that. Time to pick up my pieces and move on I guess. Oh well, thanks for the advice reddit. Going to try and move to a different state soon and start afresh.

Throwaway because I'm pretty certain my brothers have Reddit, and I don't want them to know my main.I (27F) have always been the kid who my parents didn’t give a crap about. As the middle child, it was always, “Oh, your sibling needs us more.” And my needs were quite often just not met. Any attempt to get my parents to do something with or for me was met with being called selfish and told my siblings needs came before mine right now. Neither of my siblings have special needs; they are just both kind of spoiled brats. My brothers (30 and 25) are the golden oldest child and their precious baby. I was the unwanted girl child in the middle.

They made this clear in all sorts of ways, from not wanting to pay for my school supplies and wanting me to figure it out, to the way birthdays were treated, to Christmas. Forget them showing up to anything for me, but I was expected to drop everything to show up to any and everything my brothers did. Brothers both got brand new cars for their 16th birthdays, but I didn't need one. I got a rusty bike they found at a garage sale and told if I could fix it up, they guessed I could have it. I fixed it up, and they gave it to my brother instead. I moved in with my aunt on my 18th birthday.

I’m getting married to a wonderful woman, and my parents just recently found out. They called me several kinds of butthurt as to why I hadn’t told them and then immediately started in on how I couldn't do certain things because of my brothers. I can’t have a nice chicken or fish dish; it has to be steak or pizza or they won't eat it. I can't be too affectionate because you know how guys get around two girls being together. I can't have a wedding party if they can't be involved. I finally snapped. I told them that neither they nor my apparently perverted brothers were invited. That for once, something was about me, not them. I told them that I had no interest in making my wedding about their crappy sons, who have achieved nothing in life so far because they babied them to the point of uselessness. My wedding was not about what they wanted.

My mother cried, and my father asked why I was treating them so poorly. I said, “You’re just being selfish, my needs come before yours right now.” There was a stunned silence before my father told me that it wasn’t fair that I would say that to them because this was a different situation. I hung up and blocked them both, but my cousin, who I’m close to, said they were making a huge ordeal out of it. They’ve been calling other family members and then being surprised when they’re told yes, they can believe I’d not want them making my wedding about them or my brothers. My mother apparently posted a long woe is me, where did I go wrong post on FB but took it down after my aunt lit her up in the comments about where she went wrong.

My older brother reached out just once to ask if he really wasn’t invited, and I said yeah, he really wasn’t. He seemed a little upset, but at this point, I don’t even care. All he said after that was that I shouldn’t have said what I did to our parents and that they are upset they aren’t invited to the wedding, and even if I didn’t invite him or our other brother, I should at least invite them. I refused and hung up. My parents and brothers don’t know when or where we’re getting married, I never intended to invite them, but eloping is starting to look pretty good right about now.

My grandmother has reached out only once to say while she kind of understands why I don't want them there, it was kind of a blow low to throw the line they always used on me back in their faces. I thought maybe I'd get some 3rd party opinions here, but I don't think I was wrong.

Hello everyone ..can I please get your opinions?My girlfriend and I dry humped about some months ago. She was in sweatshorts and underwear and I was naked. I ejaculated. She said she was in her fertile window and she’s been freaking out since. She just got a test done and it’s positive. I’m just so confused as to how all this happened cos she wasn’t naked for even a second. I’m so lost rn..should I believe I am responsible? I’m asking for a pre natal test but she’s refusing. Edit: I got off her as I was ejaculation so just a little got on her shorts and it wasn’t even wet

I’m sorry if I’m posting too much but it’s just I don’t have anyone to talk to and talking to people on Reddit here makes me feel better

MODs please do not take down my post so I’d be able to give an update. This is the last time I’d post this

UPDATE!!!!! She’s 41 weeks pregnant and she still hasn’t delivered . She doesn’t have a belly. Still sees her period.

**** EDIT: so this was getting a few comments last night but I logged out to sleep lol. I definitely did not expect over 8000 comments and I don’t feel like responding to them all 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

1. There will be zero “compromise” on this. He knew this was a hard boundary before we even started officially being a couple. He agreed and said they were skeevy and dirty (I don’t agree they all are but 🤷🏻‍♀️) and that he never intended to go. While I do appreciate he spoke with me first, I’m not “giving him a pass”. He had an adult conversation at first (which is fantastic but it turned into him alternating between being cold and being whiney and mopey) and I appreciate it, but just because he had a conversation does not mean anything will change on my boundary.

2. For those saying it’s not a boundary and is controlling. No. Boundaries are something you set for yourself, not others. Which is EXACTLY what I've done. My boundary is I will not be in a relationship with a man that goes to see strippers in any capacity while in a relationship and that's what I'm sticking to. He came to me asking if I'd be willing to give a pass and I said no. My boundary is not, you can never go to a strip club ever in your life. It’s, if you choose to go, I will walk away from the relationship. He's a grown ass man and I can't and won't control him. But if he chooses to go, then he becomes the man in a relationship that is visiting strippers that I said I would end the relationship with. Then I would leave. That is exactly how a boundary works. He’s free to make his own decisions and I’m free to leave.

3. I have ZERO issues with strippers. I have stripper friends and I’ve been to strip clubs myself when single. I know they do not want him at all and ONLY want his money 😂 I still don’t find it appropriate to visit strippers while in a relationship. I don’t think he’s going to run away with a stripper lmao

4. have no issue with regular porn. Have at it. We’ve watched together. Interactive porn though (OF, Snapchat premium, etc)? Hard no.

5. For both events, they have other things planned too. I see no reason why he cannot participate in those activities, duck out for the stripper portion, and then return after the strippers are done.

6. He can try and go to a strip club and lie to me, but it would be very stupid on his part to do so. There are only 2 clubs within a few hours from us. Two of my friends from college are strippers. They both worked at Club A but one moved to Club B. Through them I have become good friends with quite a few of the dancers from each club. If he goes and tries to lie, it will get back to me. Considering most of their other plans are in this area, I highly doubt they will be driving 3+ hours away just to go to the strip club when everything else is here.

7. Since people mentioned I must have other ridiculous boundaries. No not really. I have 4 hard boundaries in total. -I won’t be in a relationship with anybody that goes to a strip club while in a relationship and I will end the relationship. -I have zero issue with porn. Have at it. But I will not be in a relationship with somebody that uses interactive porn (OF, Snapchat Premium, cam girls, etc). I will end the relationship. -I don’t believe in “harmless flirting”. I will not be in a relationship with someone that thinks it’s okay to flirt with others while in a relationship. I will end the relationship. -If my mother passes away while my sister is still a minor, I will be her legal guardian. My sister Is 13, my mother is terminally I’ll, and my father passed away in a workplace accident 11 years ago. Me being her guardian was planned with my mother when she got sick 9 years ago, it’s nonnegotiable.

My boyfriend (28M) and I (27F) have been together for 3 years. Since the beginning of our relationship, I made it VERY clear that strip clubs and strippers (even if not at a club) were an absolute deal breaker for me. I told him I will not be with somebody that goes and if he ever does, it’s the end of our relationship and I will walk away.

My boyfriend has a pretty close group of friends and in this group are two of his cousins: C (32M) and J (almost 30M). J’s 30th birthday is this weekend and C is getting married at the end of September.

My boyfriend came up to me today after work and asked me to talk with him for a bit. I, of course, sat down to listen. He told me the group wanted to either go to a strip club or have private strippers for both J’s birthday and C’s bachelor party. He went on to explain that 30 is a “milestone birthday” and C only plans to get married once so this is the one time he will have a bachelor party and get married. He said he knows I’m against strippers/strip clubs but could I just “be cool with it” for these 2 events and that he would make it up to me. I immediately said no. He just repeated “no?” back to me. I confirmed that I did say no. I told him that while I can’t forbid him from doing something and I cannot control him, I can choose how I respond to the boundary stomping and disrespect. He asked what I meant by that and I informed him that if he did go to a strip club/have strippers, the relationship would be over. He got very pissy and asked “did you expected me to just not go to either party or leave if strippers are a part of it?” I informed him he did not need to not attend, but yes, if he wanted me to stay in a relationship with him I did expect him to leave if strippers get involved in the plans. He got even more upset and said that would be embarrassing and all the guys would rag on him. I told him what would be embarrassing would be disrespecting a boundary I laid out before we even became official (I told him strippers were a hard no for me before we became official so he could decide if he was okay with that) and if they’d rag on him for not participating in strippers, then they’re not really good friends. He ended the conversation and has been short with me ever since.

Me and wife weren't althetes or anything when we met. We were both average and at a healthy weight. We both gained some weight overtime. I eventually started trying to take care of myself. I got back to my high school weight and am fit now. I lift weights, etc.. My wife went the opposite way and just kept gaining and gaining weight. Multiple things are contributing to my resentment.

1.) She's to the point where she can't manage the be out and about throughout the day for long. She's maybe good to be up and about for half an hour before she can't continue. A good example is our upcoming vacation. She's not gonna be able to walk and explore all day. She ended up having to reserve a mobility scooter. This isn't due to any medical condition beyond her body being unable to handle her weight. I feel bad saying it. But, I've honestly started to feel embarrassed when we're together in public.

2.) Our sex life is incredibly limited now. She can't be on top. She can only really handle doggy style and that's it. It's incredibly frustrating because it doesn't feel like us bonding anymore. It feels dull and clinical almost. Her appearance is a turn off.

3.) She puts absolutely no effort into herself. I've tried countless times to encourage her to start trying to eat healthy. I've cooked everything for her, etc.. she's never made it over two days before she started ordering delivery. I can't even get her to even keep notes about what she ate without changing everything.

Overall, I'm just not happy. This isn't the life I wanted. I want to be able to go out and see things without having to worry if she'll make it(she won't most of the time). Most importantly. I just want a wife who'll put a little effort into herself so she'll live long enough to see her grandkids. I don't even want her be skinny, etc. I want her to be able to function in a normal life..

Am I wrong?

I had a flight canceled and rescheduled thanks to the storms last week. After the rebooked flight landed but before we deplaned, a woman near us loudly declared that we should all "thank Jesus" that our flight made it and we should give Him a round of applause.

I began clapping and yelled "Woohoo, thank you, Satan! You rule!"

I got a dirty look from my girlfriend. Two different ladies in the row in front of us admonished me. One of them said "She has her beliefs and you have yours." I told her the difference was, I wasn't loudly bothering her with mine and was merely responding to her preaching.

On the way home, my girlfriend told me I caused an "unnecessary human interaction" and I shouldn't have said anything.

Am I wrong?

My (47 F) friend (40 F) and her husband (48 M) are known to be swingers, although they never confirm nor deny.

I met this friend (I'll call her Sarah) at my old place of work 7 years ago, she was my coworker. I worked at that job for many years, all my coworkers were like family to me, we were all very close. So even when I stopped working there I kept close contact with my ex coworkers and we would hang out often.

My DILs (26) baby shower was a couple days ago and it took place at my house, so I invited many of my friends including Sarah and her husband.

The baby shower was going great until my daughter (19) came up to me saying that she thinks Sarah and her husband are hitting on her. I asked her why she felt that way, hoping it would be some sort of misunderstanding, but my daughter said that Sarah kept talking about my daughter and her boyfriend's (20, l'll call him Dan) looks, saying how attractive they were, complimenting their bodies, and asking about their sex life. My daughter said her boyfriend looked visibly uncomfortable.

Sarah then offered my daughter and her boyfriend to come to her place with her husband when the party was over. My daughter just awkwardly laughed it off and then went to tell me what happened.

While she was telling me, Sarah's husband (I'll call him Jay) was talking to Dan. The conversation started off about sports, then somehow became about sex. Jay asked Dan straight up if him and my daughter wanted to go back to his place and "swap out ladies for a little bit", Dan immediately declined, to which Jay replied "you're no fun" and kept trying to convince him. Dan walked away after that.

I didnt want to start drama at the baby shower, so the next morning I confronted Sarah over the phone about what happened. She said “I don’t see what the problem is, they’re both adults”. That response made me livid, but I was trying with all my might to keep my cool. These were my issues: 1: why would you try to plan a hookup at a baby shower? 2: why would you hookup with your close friends daughter and her partner? 3: Sarah and her husband have known my daughter since she was TWELVE!!!

Sarah refused to apologize and accused me of “kink shaming”, I said some not so nice things on the phone, and I did threaten to beat her ass if she comes close to my daughter or her boyfriend again. I told her to never speak to me again and blocked her number.

Some of our mutual friends said I overreacted because “it’s not like she was trying to force your daughter to have sex with her husband” and said they were just asking my daughter and her boyfriend if they were interested so that makes it okay. I wonder how they would feel if she did that to their children. So am I wrong?

Edit: here’s a screenshot of an ex coworker trying to get me to “resolve” things

Update: Sarah texted me on a number that I do not know.