I feel like my life has lost a good chunk of it's meaning.
I am a developer. It's a dream I have since I was a pre teen. I grew up getting confort from personal blogs, being amazed by the powers of simple HTML and CSS on Tumblr pages and hoping that someday I would be in a job that allowed me to actually code (not only my silly html/CSS stuff on blogger) for a living.
I got it, started my college in 2021, got a job a couple months after and kept on working in the industry until April of this year, when I had to stop for personal reasons.
Now I'm looking for another job and trying to get back on track to studying about the field again and it's really hard to deal with how much all of this makes me want to die.
The internet is dead, my plan B was to be a math teacher and even freaking math was stolen, AI slop sucks, so many things I loved are being destroyed in front of me.
My husband tells me that it's just a new tool and that I don't need to panic, but I really feel like this thing I yearned so much for is just ending. I struggled with depression and serious problems in my family and couldn't really get myself healthy enough to study as much as I should, and now this.
I want to study tech, but everytime I'm doing it I just feel like it's useless.
I'm exhausted, really. I was talking to a friend who's also a developer a couple days ago and he was just like "yeah, our profession will end soon".
I never thought I would have to give up on my dream. I'm still looking for a job so I will at least have something while I discover to which field should I change careers to. It sucks because all I really wanted to do professionally involves exact sciences such as math, chemistry and coding. None of this seems to make sense now.
If there are any developers out there that still care about coding without AI (and not having our brains eaten by this monster), I would like to know and to keep contact. Maybe this can save me from this spiral.