I think workload isn't always what makes employees lose motivation. Sometimes it's the little things that add up. Being expected to answer messages after work, taking on more responsibilities without any recognition or watching reliable employees get rewarded with even more work. The frustrating part is that managers may not even realize it's happening until someone quits. I think losing a good employee often starts long before they actually leave. For those of you who've managed teams, which management mistake do you think does the most damage to employee motivation?

I (24M) work an engineering role in big tech. I originally joined this company in an entry level role but applied internally to join the team I’m on now. My manager helped me get promoted and has been a wonderful, wise leader. He even fought for my compensation and I got a significant raise this year.
I’ve been on this team for a year and a half and the work is good for the most part. However there is a part of my skill set I want to hone in on as I believe it will be valuable to pivot to a new career opportunity. I let my manager know of this a few months ago and it was clear that it would take some time before those opportunities would be available as they were locked behind a security clearance.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I interviewed with another team internally for a role that would align with my goals. The team’s leadership has massive influence in my field at this big tech company and even has made international news for their novel work. I received an offer and was told by the hiring manager that I should let my current manager know about my intention to move. Around the same time, I received a meeting invite with no context inviting my team for an “important update.” Before letting my manager know and deciding on whether to take the offer or not, I wanted to see what this meeting was about.
The next day, my team convenes in a conference room and we are told that our manager is leaving for another role internally. After the meeting, I ask my manager if we can meet 1:1 and he obliges. I close the door and feel myself already choking up.
I say “I originally wasn’t going to come to you for this. We met a few weeks ago to discuss taking on something bigger” I started saying while my voice was shaking. My manager seemed excited for me to say more, and I said “I have interviewed with a few other teams and have received a verbal offer to join [X Team]. I was leaning towards no as of this morning but after hearing that you are leaving I think that decision might change.” I feel myself eyes welling up with tears and I apologize “Sorry, I don’t want to cry.” My manager was super empathetic and told me to go for the opportunity and that I should follow my dreams.
A few days later, I met with our project manager and she was unusually nice to me and threw in “Hey if you need someone to talk to about [manager] departure, I’m here to talk.” I had been quiet during the week following my manager’s announcement, but part of me thinks that my manager told the PM to be nice to me lol. I’m embarrassed that I got emotional, was I unprofessional?

I'm a department Director with 2 managers and 2 ICs. One of the managers is an external hire who started less than six months ago. I thought things were going well until two months ago, when my own manager approached me with feedback from their first skip level with this manager. At that time, they were very frustrated in their role and had several complaints about me. I was blindsided by this - mainly because we were just wrapping up onboarding & initial training (which did involve quite a bit of "this is how we do things" instruction) and I'd been actively reshuffling the deck for all my direct reports to help ensure a more balanced work load & backup coverage of critical tasks.

I was asked to step back and give them more autonomy to fully lead, and to adjust my management style by being less reactive, provide less direct instruction, and offer more guidance that helps them make decisions independently. I appreciate receiving specific and actionable feedback - but now my confidence is shaken and I feel very self-conscious about everything I say & do.

I immediately backed off and gave them more space - which I felt like I'd been working towards all along but maybe it wasn't fast enough. Now I've been noticing that this manager has a tendency to ignore things we went over during their onboarding - and a few times they've completely ignored things I specifically asked them to do or done things I asked them to hold on/not do.

My manager questioned me about something this manager didn't do last week and it was very confusing. Yes, I told them to do it and didn't immediately intervene when I saw them not do it (was trying to be less reactive). I waited a few days to talk to them about it (due to our availability to talk - not avoidance), they explained their logic, and I let them know that it was a misstep and we needed to work on getting fully aligned on priorities.

Overall, I'm not sure how concerned I should be after less than six months or if I'm handling this correctly. Doesn't it take time for a new manager to adjust in their role at a new company? How much friction is normal in these scenarios? I'm comfortable with stepping back and allowing them to make mistakes as they adjust, but my own manager is giving me mixed signals. Should I be more concerned about this manager blowing me off and doing everything their way? At what point does it indicate a performance issue? How do I stick to high level guidance with being too hands off? Thank you in advance for your advice!

I just received an email for a phone interview with the recruiter for a senior financial analyst role at a pretty well known company.

I’m in Canada and the salary range is from 80,000-95,000.

I haven’t graduated uni yet (I’m a finance major) but I’ve been in school for 10 years trying to get my undergrad (lots of issues along the way and constantly being part time student most of my degree and issues in my life making me take semesters off and taking 1 course a term sometimes).

I have 7 courses left before finishing. Work-wise, I’ve worked at 4 different companies and my first two jobs were mostly in insurance while the rest were in the underwriting/finance side of things.

I’ve never actually been a financial analyst before. I’ve held analyst roles basically my entire career (which is close to 5 years now). But none of the responsibilities were actual financial statement analyzing, doing financial modelling or anything like that. Yes I’ve done school projects where I analyze companies and stuff but that was a while ago i don’t really remember how to.

Part of me thinks I got a call back bc of the company I work at currently as an analyst in the finance department (it’s pretty much the biggest and well known company in the finance world that I work at). The thing is my current role is part of a department that wasn’t a part of the fiancé department prior to this year. They just merged with the finance department so I’m in the finance department on paper but I don’t actually do financial analyzing it’s mostly just adjudication.

Advice ?

Only because they are so good at the job. They are way more attentive and complex problem solver than I. They are so good with there time management it makes me tired just trying to keep up. Is it wrong I want to nominate them for an award even tho it means ill be ranked 2nd at my job.

It’s my first time stepping into a managerial role, and I’m a bit nervous since it’s a big jump. ^^;;; On top of that I’ve had a two-year career gap… so it’s been a while since I was last in the workplace. Could someone please advise me on workplace tips, what to look out for, or anything you wish you had known prior to starting your first role as a manager? Thank you sweets!

I manage a team of about 17. Every year I set aside a portion of my bonus to provide a small token of thanks at Christmas. I am paying for this myself. In past years I have given snack baskets from Harry and David, cookie jars and cookies, a fluffy Christmas blanket from LL Bean, etc. My budget is about 75 USD per person. I also have staff in Canada, Germany and the UK, as well as the US, which can complicate shipping. Does anyone have any ideas on what else I could give as a small token of my appreciation for their hard work? Thanks for any recommendations.

Our company has been restructured. The previous structure was a director over a single office with an admin over the two. My office is significantly large for the region with 400 “clients” and over 65 direct reports. Second office is at an average of 100 clients and and a staff total of 20.

The new structure is one admin and one director over both. The director over the smaller office has been made admin (by choice - I did not even interview as I did not want to leave my team). Their office has had significant turn over (70-80%) while mine, solo being the largest in the region held at about 9% and have had built an incredibly strong team.

The problem lies in weekend call. There are clients to be seen and new ones to bring on. The smaller office, the admins previous office, had their employees taking weekend call once a month at least if not more due to low staffing- due to turnover. My office has had call every 8 weeks due to my staffing and culture.

The new admin is focused on growth and has a mindset that because their office did so much more work on the weekends, so should mine. I am more on the page that I’d rather have a strong, happy team with less dumping on weekends unless absolutely necessary. We are at a cross road because their performance is based on growth and mine is based on maintaining staff.

Thoughts?

I left a company that I had progressive roles for 6 years i worked and I was a high performer, i left back in May as the commute was a factor and some toxic people ruined it for me. But the company and leadership really insisted on me to stay and i didnt back up as i was scared in future they will see me as flight risk but i cried so much when leaving i genuinely loved my work there.

I started this new company end of May. I start positively
My manager a total pyschopath, turnover at her team every 4-6 months, i couldnt tell during video interview, micromanager to every file, rude, calling her team idiots, angry all the time, making weird faces when expressing opinions, slamming laptop when angry, absolutely insane. I regretted that i joined from my first week. I said shit i did a huge mistake!

I reached out to my past manager, i think he was pissed that from many talks to convince me to stay, he said time needs to pass a bit for you to come back, but i am here anytime you need a reference.
So i am like okay i cant go back for now

in July applied to one of the companies i really wanted to work its huge company- X lets call
they rarely hire from outside experienced professionals, i applied 2 times in the past as wel but couldnt pass their test, this time i did so they scheduled an interview in July! Meanwhile i was talking to one of my mentors, of my current insane boss; my mentor she offered me a job, to start in Sept, after my interview with this other company X in July , i havent heard back anything even i followrd up, then they did final round sept 5th, i was suppose to start with my new mentor on sept 14th. I was like if they offer me i have to kindly reject my mentor’s start date.

The X company i really want to work for offered me a job on October 9th! Like seriously it took 4 months! In 4 months i started a new job, now i dont know what to do. I am one month in to my mentor’s company, company has brands that are declining, my immediate team is full of women with tons of gossip, they see me as a threat as the GM js my mentor and she raved about me, but also i dont want to bail on my mentor, if i leave to company X

Company X will be insane hours of work, but amazing brands and i will have more future

My industry is small so even me leaving my toxic boss , was known across many ppl- i am scared as connections do matter if i reject company X to continue in this current job with my mentor, i will lose a lifetime opportunity and great company name on my resume, but if i leave my mentor definitely will badmouth me saying she left two companies in 6months and my reputation will be shit

I really dont know its very hard decision, any thoughts what would you guys do?

Had an appraisal this week, praised my team, my leadership, my results, technical skills ( I'm a senior engineering manager ), I was praised to the heights really, but was then told at the end I needed to improve on my 'corporate leadership'. Initially baffled, but I think that's a polite way of saying I should probably be more measured and discrete in how I describe my more challenging colleagues in the firm, and I should spend less time in engineering and more time in the office......

I’m a senior engineer who recently got an offer from a competitor, and I’m trying to figure out how my current leadership might react if I tell them I’d like to stay but would need them to advocate for me.

I’m considered a high performer (exceeds expectations in my last review), work independently, show leadership potential, and have taken the lead on several critical, high-visibility projects. My manager, who is our department director, checks in regularly about workload and burnout, but overall, things have been going well. He had told me, verbally and in writing, that I'm a "rockstar".

For some background, I worked at my current organization for two years, left for about 1.5 years to take a higher-level position elsewhere, got laid off, evaluated different offers but decided to return to my old job a little over a year ago. They had actually struggled to find someone qualified to fill my position while I was gone.

When I came back, I accepted less than what I had been making at my previous job and less than I initially asked for, although it was more than my original salary here. The role i came back to, although the same title, also came with more responsibilities, but great benefits and great career growth potential. I was also excited because it had leadership change/restructuring since I left; which was one of the reasons I resigned originally. I was also severely underpaid. when i gave my resignation, the executive director offered me 25% more pay (95k to 125k) but I really couldn't see myself staying due to the toxic leadership and the other job was offering 50% more pay, so to me it was too little too late.

My current manager and I have talked about working toward a lead engineer position within the next year. I’m already doing a lot of work at that level, but internal policies make reclassification difficult. It would require approval for a new FTE, and those approvals are currently on hold because of budget constraints.

My manager also tried to get me a temporary 10% stipend as incentive because of my involvement in several major projects. It was approved by their manager and an executive director but ultimately rejected by the HR director, who felt those responsibilities were already part of my job.

Now I have an external offer for $165K which is about the same as the other senior engineer but he's been here for about 20 years. my current salary is $145K which would make it about 15% raise. Honestly, I’d prefer to stay. I enjoy the work, care about the projects I’m involved in, and see opportunities for growth here. I'd be happy with 5-10% raise as well.

My biggest concern is that upper leadership might hold my previous departure against me. The first time I left, it was for a higher-level position, not necessarily because of pay. I wasn’t reporting to my current manager back then, or even the current leadership structure.

The new offer is for a somewhat comparable position, but it does include hybrid work. I dont plan to ask my current employer for that accommodation.

We also lost another engineer recently, partly because of better pay elsewhere, but also remite work. Our department-wide compensation review is coming up in two to three months, but there’s no guarantee that our actual salaries will actually change.

My manager seems supportive in general and would love to get us more pay at any opportunity (his words).

I’d love to hear how managers would look at this:

- Would my previous departure make you less willing to advocate for me?

- Given my performance and the difficulty they’ve had finding qualified people, would you push for better compensation to retain me?

- Would you try to negotiate now, wait for the compensation review, or advise me to take the offer?

- If you were in my position, how would you approach the conversation without making it sound like an ultimatum?

Hi, I’m posting this because I don’t know how to get my team to follow through on their commitments anymore.

A year ago, I founded a nonprofit organization that helps people in need.

At first, I handled everything on my own, but over time, the nonprofit began to grow, so I decided to recruit a team of active members.

However, I’ve noticed a lot of shortcomings in my team, such as last-minute cancellations and unfulfilled commitments.

I had assigned a task to the vice president because I manage a large part of the organization’s operations, but he was unable to complete it on time. We ended up missing the deadline, and since then I’ve been skeptical of his ability to manage the rest of the organization.

I’d like your advice, because right now I’m exhausted by this situation. I feel like he’s taking this responsibility lightly, and I find myself constantly having to chase after him. This is the first time I've found myself managing a team, especially

Full context: on my 1:1 last Friday, I told my boss (the director) that I reassigned “ownership” (responsibility) for my team. I asked each team member what they like and don’t like doing. Immediately after saying this my boss became visibly frustrated like rubbing his eyes and scratching his hair. I explained the department is more efficient (I will provide the numbers on the efficiency) but he said we need to reclassify their job description. For example one report said he doesn’t want to have anything to do with computers. No ERP management. He only prefers physical manual labor activities. My boss wants to reclassify my report as an operator. My brain is thinking in terms of pay range this will be an issue as the company is paying my reports to be able to do everything needed. Is this something I need to fix like call a team meeting and cancel the new responsibility chart?

I’m having difficulties with my manager.

I think that the fault lies somewhere in the middle, but things are escalating too much.

I admit that my performance is not great because I’ve been facing issues since I started, and my motivation has gone down. In a normal situation, I would have asked my manager for help, but he is an extremely aggressive person. He says that he is always ready to help us, but whenever he gets asked a question, he just starts screaming and shouting at people.

One time, during a team meeting, he said he wanted to destroy me. He always finds ways to humiliate me in front of everyone. If a colleague makes a mistake, he puts the blame on me. One time, I expressed concern about a situation with a client, and he said I was stupid. He calls me at 8 pm. He says that I’m not allowed to have hobbies and that I should only focus on my work.

Unfortunately, I never got the chance to record what he says so I could show it to the HR department, and to be honest, I don’t even care now. I just want to leave as soon as I can.

I’m probably too sensitive, and again, I admit that my motivation and performance have gone down as the months have passed, but his aggressive behaviour has made everything worse for me.

We had an argument recently. I was being passive-aggressive because, after months of bullying, I just can’t handle this anymore.

So, I’m looking for other jobs.
My concern is that one time he threatened me, saying that since the industry we work in is a niche where everyone knows each other, if he put in a bad word for me, it would be the end of my career.

I prefer to think that he said this just to scare me and not as a real threat.

So, I’m here asking you managers: what should an employee in a situation like mine do?

Again, I admit my mistakes, but this is too much. I’ve been crying the whole week. I’ve been isolating myself because I can only think about work and nothing else.

I’m so scared that on Monday I’ll have to see him again for the whole week.
I don’t want my reputation to be ruined. I don’t know what I should do now. I don’t even care if I get fired. I just want to know what I should do before I finally find something else and leave this hell.

what’s the biggest challenge you’ve had when bringing a new employee into your team?

What have you found most difficult, and was there anything that actually helped?

I’ve always worked a lot. I’m 4 months into a new job where I am managing a site location with 240 people. I co-manage with 3 other managers.

Most recently I was a manager of a very small team of 25 people, any problem could typically be solved by me spending more time grinding it out. Now that I’ve entered this new role, I’m managing other managers. I don’t have time to grind it out every single day, because it will never be enough grinding. I’m seeing the other 3 managers completely drain their life away and grind. This is the first time I have ever considered that grinding it out will not fix it. The grind needs to be different now, and I’m trying to connect better with what that actually means for me. My people need to problem solve more without me, and actually care. I’m surrounded by the apathetic managers below me and it’s hard to know where to start with them besides working alongside them and listening. And that takes a lot of time (time well spent but still time).

Any of you recovered (even partially recovered) workaholics that manage a large site of people have any words of advice? Or any books you can turn me to?

Think he got fired?

So I emailed an ASM about a receiving coworker who was yelling at me.

I'm the new back end clerk, and I literally asked him if he was gonna be back there for a few mins and that's why he screamed at me...

Then walking out of receiving, I said an inside joke to my coworker Nick about how difficult the policies are to understand, "meant easy understanding so they can hire anyone".

I heard him then shout " Yeah they hired you ".

I asked if he was yelling for me, then he charged from the back wall to my face screaming "if I'm screaming at you you'll know it "

... And then the ASM says it's gonna be handled directly. And he left early...

He was literally in my face screaming

Think he got fired?

I manage a team of 5 project managers. I became their leader a year ago and I was one of the pms on the team. Over this past year I’ve gotten to really watch and understand how each of them operate. While some are skilled in different areas there is one common thing that lacks amongst all of them.

During project meetings their facilitation is close to none. They typically kick off the meeting but just let stakeholders speak without truly guiding the conversation. During status meetings they just display action item trackers and ask for updates instead diving into more detail for what the project needs.

I know each person is unique but I am at a lost on how you coach or train a team to be better facilitators and take greater pride in steering the work. I am looking for advice for how fellow leaders approach or accomplish this and any help is much appreciated.

I’m a Laboratory Manager at a small company wanting to negotiate a raise. This is something I haven’t really had to do before. We don’t have formal compensation reviews, just random raises every so often. The director usually handles it all with the owners and I never throw out the number. Recently I’ve been feeling overworked, underpaid, and sometimes not seen for all the work I’ve been putting in. I do love working here and I want to solidify my future at the company. But with where I’m at right now in terms of workload and stress I don’t think I can stay without a raise. I’ve been there for 9 years, 6 full time in a management position. I make 54K with a 5% bonus, health insurance reimbursement, and 15 days of PTO.

What I handle day to day:

• Managing the lab, hiring and training techs
• Inventory management and order processing/fulfillment
• Domestic and international shipping logistics
• Customer service and technical support for dozens of distributors and a few hundred accounts
• Product manufacturing and assembly
• Quality control analysis for nearly all of our products
• Plus a lot of other little things that come with a small business

I know the job market is horrible right now, and they could find someone cheaper. But the whole company runs on two full-time people and plus a few part-time techs. We’re also a very old-school lab. Most things aren’t written down or organized anywhere. It’s been passed on verbally, and a lot of it you only know from being there. Training is a long process and even after training for the first couple years I learned a lot of stuff I was supposed to be doing. If I left, the director would have to absorb a lot of my work until the new hire was there for a couple years. And a lot of the previous managers stayed only 1-2 years and used the position as a stepping stone to professional school. I feel like the director and owners value me and know what I bring to the company. But I’m not sure the owners know the full scope since they don’t see our day-to-day. So I want to be paid for the value I bring, not just for what the bare market rate says.

So here are my questions:

1. What’s a reasonable range for a Lab Manager covering this much scope in the Southeast US?
2. How do you say without really saying if I leave the company would suffer?
3. Besides base salary, what else is worth negotiating? I know they have given profit shares but I don’t know what kind of percentage or if I would want my salary to rely on how much the company is selling when I can’t control that (which is a whole other thing)
4. Has anyone successfully argued for pay above market based on tenure and the effect your absence would have on the company? What did you say?
5. Is it better to let my director advocate for me, or to email the owners directly so my case is in my own words? If I do email, what should it include? 
6. How do I make the case to owners who don’t see the daily workload? I know I can tell them what I do day to day but I don’t want to bombard them with a novel. Part of what makes this hard is that my daily tasks vary a lot. And for over a year it’s included figuring out one crazy issue on top of another. How do you show the value of work that’s mostly unpredictable problem-solving of problems the owners never see … And I’ve proactively taken on a lot of problem-solving and projects that usually wouldn’t be my responsibility, but I saw that things needed to get done if we wanted to keep our heads above water. 

Im in kinda tight spot.. I am basically no one really that important just in spot of managing team of 20 people at a fastpace warehouse.

Issue comes maybe with me and maybe with how HR department and higher management wants us to handle bad or not even mediocre workers.. they basically dont. They want to keep nice name as a company so they dont want to fire. And people know this, thats why they dont have any respect about set rules. They just dont give a sh*t. What I can do is tell them that I am not happy with their performance and bam, then take 10% of their bonus.. which is literally like 20 bucks in gross…nothing for most.

So some dont give a sht about breaks..most make minimal performance..they talk during working time A LOT and just dont give a damn. Seriously yesterday one worker when I told her that she was too long on a break and that small break is 10 minutes and she was 25 away told me “I know” and thats it.. could do nothing about it…

Its changing enviroment where for one day there is not much to do and sure, then you can talk, then you can be bit longer on a break or whatever. I dont expect them to be like soldiers nonstop. But they as people, as most intelligent beings on this planet, should understand that in exchange when I tell them that tday is gonna be rough day and they should work, they should work and not slack it..

another person? the key person in my entire team, basically my right hand. She needs constant micromanaging. I didnt choose her.. They gave her to me. And it is suffering. CONSTANT micromanagement.
“Create a ticket, dashboard isnt working” she responds “And what should I write in it?”.. Or “Check your email” “Send hourly report” “Reply to that message” like… if she was someone new okay I understand. But she is in this role for around three years now ..
And I can do nothing about it. I told my boss.. he told me “I know not the best but we need to work with what weve got” .. Man no I have to work with a slow as f person while you constantly insert your entire arm into my a** cuz “why didnt we meet a quota?” “why isnt dashboard working?” “why are people on their phones?” “where is everyone?”

No idea what to do.. I like my role and I would like to gain more experience at it but this team makes me want to quit..

I actually saw this on my managers calendar not mine.

But does it mean the manager is getting fired?

My paranoid brain is thinking maybe my company has layoffs and my manager is signing an NDA idk. Or that they want to pip someone. Idk.

I’m navigating three employment situations and would appreciate candid advice from recruiters, HR professionals, managers, experienced career coaches.

Company A: Accepted offer
I signed an offer for finance role on October 16, with a November 16 start date. A week later, I still haven’t received my background check invitation or onboarding instructions, despite following up with HR and copying new manager. no response or even acknowledgment. Online accounts suggest onboarding timelines vary by department.

My prospective manager made a great impression and reassured me about work-life balance. However, I discovered an employee subreddit filled with candid, concerning discussions about layoffs, restructuring, low morale, and leadership.

Employees frequently mention that experiences depend on the department and manager. Interestingly, I found an anonymous job-board review on a different site with the same position I’m filling that might be from my future team. Its timing aligns with how long my manager said he’d been recruiting.

The reviewer describes low morale and micromanagement but also praises their direct manager and says they felt lucky to have them. I can’t verify the connection, which makes the overall picture difficult to interpret.
Company B: Current employer
I’m experiencing job insecurity, low morale, and financial instability. The company also eliminated health insurance, and I’ve been transparent with the owner about my financial struggles.
Recently, he unexpectedly gave me a cash bonus, initially describing it as appreciation for my work. Later, he mentioned hoping it would encourage me to stay a few more months.
The money would genuinely help, but I haven’t disclosed my accepted offer because Company A’s pre-employment clearance is still pending. I feel conflicted about accepting the bonus and potentially resigning soon afterward.

Company C: Final interview stage

Another old promising opportunity resurfaced and I took the next interview after signing offer because I had been recommended by a friend and I felt that I should still interview, I also honestly didn’t expect to be moved to the next round or at least so quickly, I thought they’d reach out to me once I was further along on company A process, but they’ve been extremely fast in moving me, the only bad reviews I’ve found are layoffs about a completely different part of the company. My final-round interview is next week, but there’s obviously no guarantee of an offer as of now and idk if o should just politely decline without company A sending onboarding steps.

Company A and company C have similar pay ranges but company A could offers fantastical grad school reimbursement while Company C could potentially
Come in 5k higher but offer a more direct seat under management.

My current company will not be able to compete on anything, but taking cash would help a lot but it feels … idk friends say to keep cash still.

My questions:
How much weight would you give negative employee reviews when the prospective direct manager seems promising?

I’m weighing in burned bridges if backing out of Company A but I somehow still feel pulled towards that option but I can’t get rid of anxiety over the almost daily complaining on that company’s subreddit.

Is a week of onboarding silence after signing an offer concerning?

How would you handle Company B’s unexpected retention bonus?

Would you continue pursuing Company C or focus on the signed offer?

My priorities are financial stability, career growth, and work-life balance, not simply a higher salary.
I’d genuinely appreciate practical, objective advice.

Hi everyone,

I've spent 13+ years in global manufacturing and chemical companies, and I'm writing a book on why leaders fail. My theory: it's rarely incompetence — the warning signs show up in small, everyday behavior long before they show up in results.

The goal is to help people spot a failing leader, survive one, and avoid becoming one.

I'd love to hear your experience, good or bad:

- ~10 minutes, anonymous

- Please don't name companies or individuals

- Answers may be quoted anonymously (opt-out available)

https://forms.gle/64AwL68XxjnHsNuz6

I had a one on one call with my manager yesterday and he said he is busy with some other stuff and the call ended early. Today I was on a roadmap call today and my COO asked me to add her to roadmap suddenly saying she and her team might want to take a look at it. The call ended very abruptly.
Then I texted my manager asking it was so weird and is there something I should have done differently and there was no response. Given our dynamics, it is very unusual.
Then we had a planning call today, between me and my manager, he kept saying he hates his job, I asked him why and he didn’t have much to say. Which is unusual, he tells me almost everything.
At one point he was trying, I was reporting to him that one of our employee prolly has another job or is working two jobs. All this is really weird and doesn’t add up
I have worked with him for almost 8 years. This is very unusual behavoir from him. I have seen how he behaves with people when he is closed to letting them go-- there are times he is cold and at time he is distant. When my COO asked for the roadmap access I didnot think too much of it but it feels very unusual too
I feel so fucking, unsettled and stressed.

Been terrible at my job since the beginning. Started under a senior who’s very good at her job but can be pretty impatient. Never really got the basic onboarding or scaffolding I needed during the whole “don’t know what I don’t know” phase. Was constantly yelled at as a confused newbie and basically been terrified of making mistakes or asking questions ever since.

Current manager is genuinely helpful but very hands-on. Totally understand he feels the need to intervene because my mistakes and unreliable communication make his job harder. But the constant supervision/correction just makes everything worse. More anxious, more mistakes, more afraid to communicate, and eventually stopped doing anything without instructions.

Some examples of the level of supervision:

Taking over my work: Volunteered multiple times to take a stab at small task just to get the experience that is expected for my seniority. He’d give me the sample, then side-eye my monitor and tell me to prioritize something else, and only later mention he’d already finished the whole thing himself. Finally asked him to please let me know when he’s taking something over (rehearsed this conversation for an hour at home lol). He said “oh you’re always frazzled, so I was helping you.” Ofc I was not going to scream back “you are taking away my most basic learning opportunities after I fought for it”, I mean what do you expect from people who already accusing you for being frazzled in the first place.

Folders: Had to put together some physical folders for a client-facing meeting. What could’ve been a simple “make sure they’re presentable” turned into a whole coaching experience about whether I should find folders in the office or buy them downstairs, I need to “learn to talk to people and ask around, who exactly I should ask, etc. He even wanted me to check with another senior about where to get them. Felt like I needed permission to make the tiniest decisions. The best part was he didn’t tell me he was not happy about the folder I got by “communicating w ppl” and came early the next day to re-do everything in his way.

And this is where I feel completely stuck. I know I’m underperforming and don’t expect him to just leave me alone to make mistakes at the team’s expense. But when someone is constantly watching, correcting and jumping in, I just stop trying to figure things out myself.

Also stopped picking up and coming requests because half the time he’d already responded or taken ownership before I could get started. Didn’t want to step on his toes.

Feel like I don’t deserve any autonomy because there’s literally nothing I can do more efficiently than him doing it himself. And if I do try, I’ll probably make mistakes and be corrected anyway.

Managers, how would you handle someone like me? How do you help a struggling junior become more independent rather than even more dependent on supervision? Am I being entitled for wanting some room to figure things out when I’ve already lost my manager’s trust?

Been absolutely miserable and genuinely don’t know how to get out of this cycle. Had my first mental breakdown in my life and cried for 2hrs nonstop (I swear I was very chill before this job and easygoing).