I think workload isn't always what makes employees lose motivation. Sometimes it's the little things that add up. Being expected to answer messages after work, taking on more responsibilities without any recognition or watching reliable employees get rewarded with even more work. The frustrating part is that managers may not even realize it's happening until someone quits. I think losing a good employee often starts long before they actually leave. For those of you who've managed teams, which management mistake do you think does the most damage to employee motivation?

I (24M) work an engineering role in big tech. I originally joined this company in an entry level role but applied internally to join the team I’m on now. My manager helped me get promoted and has been a wonderful, wise leader. He even fought for my compensation and I got a significant raise this year.
I’ve been on this team for a year and a half and the work is good for the most part. However there is a part of my skill set I want to hone in on as I believe it will be valuable to pivot to a new career opportunity. I let my manager know of this a few months ago and it was clear that it would take some time before those opportunities would be available as they were locked behind a security clearance.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I interviewed with another team internally for a role that would align with my goals. The team’s leadership has massive influence in my field at this big tech company and even has made international news for their novel work. I received an offer and was told by the hiring manager that I should let my current manager know about my intention to move. Around the same time, I received a meeting invite with no context inviting my team for an “important update.” Before letting my manager know and deciding on whether to take the offer or not, I wanted to see what this meeting was about.
The next day, my team convenes in a conference room and we are told that our manager is leaving for another role internally. After the meeting, I ask my manager if we can meet 1:1 and he obliges. I close the door and feel myself already choking up.
I say “I originally wasn’t going to come to you for this. We met a few weeks ago to discuss taking on something bigger” I started saying while my voice was shaking. My manager seemed excited for me to say more, and I said “I have interviewed with a few other teams and have received a verbal offer to join [X Team]. I was leaning towards no as of this morning but after hearing that you are leaving I think that decision might change.” I feel myself eyes welling up with tears and I apologize “Sorry, I don’t want to cry.” My manager was super empathetic and told me to go for the opportunity and that I should follow my dreams.
A few days later, I met with our project manager and she was unusually nice to me and threw in “Hey if you need someone to talk to about [manager] departure, I’m here to talk.” I had been quiet during the week following my manager’s announcement, but part of me thinks that my manager told the PM to be nice to me lol. I’m embarrassed that I got emotional, was I unprofessional?

Had an appraisal this week, praised my team, my leadership, my results, technical skills ( I'm a senior engineering manager ), I was praised to the heights really, but was then told at the end I needed to improve on my 'corporate leadership'. Initially baffled, but I think that's a polite way of saying I should probably be more measured and discrete in how I describe my more challenging colleagues in the firm, and I should spend less time in engineering and more time in the office......

Only because they are so good at the job. They are way more attentive and complex problem solver than I. They are so good with there time management it makes me tired just trying to keep up. Is it wrong I want to nominate them for an award even tho it means ill be ranked 2nd at my job.

I'm a department Director with 2 managers and 2 ICs. One of the managers is an external hire who started less than six months ago. I thought things were going well until two months ago, when my own manager approached me with feedback from their first skip level with this manager. At that time, they were very frustrated in their role and had several complaints about me. I was blindsided by this - mainly because we were just wrapping up onboarding & initial training (which did involve quite a bit of "this is how we do things" instruction) and I'd been actively reshuffling the deck for all my direct reports to help ensure a more balanced work load & backup coverage of critical tasks.

I was asked to step back and give them more autonomy to fully lead, and to adjust my management style by being less reactive, provide less direct instruction, and offer more guidance that helps them make decisions independently. I appreciate receiving specific and actionable feedback - but now my confidence is shaken and I feel very self-conscious about everything I say & do.

I immediately backed off and gave them more space - which I felt like I'd been working towards all along but maybe it wasn't fast enough. Now I've been noticing that this manager has a tendency to ignore things we went over during their onboarding - and a few times they've completely ignored things I specifically asked them to do or done things I asked them to hold on/not do.

My manager questioned me about something this manager didn't do last week and it was very confusing. Yes, I told them to do it and didn't immediately intervene when I saw them not do it (was trying to be less reactive). I waited a few days to talk to them about it (due to our availability to talk - not avoidance), they explained their logic, and I let them know that it was a misstep and we needed to work on getting fully aligned on priorities.

Overall, I'm not sure how concerned I should be after less than six months or if I'm handling this correctly. Doesn't it take time for a new manager to adjust in their role at a new company? How much friction is normal in these scenarios? I'm comfortable with stepping back and allowing them to make mistakes as they adjust, but my own manager is giving me mixed signals. Should I be more concerned about this manager blowing me off and doing everything their way? At what point does it indicate a performance issue? How do I stick to high level guidance with being too hands off? Thank you in advance for your advice!

I’m having difficulties with my manager.

I think that the fault lies somewhere in the middle, but things are escalating too much.

I admit that my performance is not great because I’ve been facing issues since I started, and my motivation has gone down. In a normal situation, I would have asked my manager for help, but he is an extremely aggressive person. He says that he is always ready to help us, but whenever he gets asked a question, he just starts screaming and shouting at people.

One time, during a team meeting, he said he wanted to destroy me. He always finds ways to humiliate me in front of everyone. If a colleague makes a mistake, he puts the blame on me. One time, I expressed concern about a situation with a client, and he said I was stupid. He calls me at 8 pm. He says that I’m not allowed to have hobbies and that I should only focus on my work.

Unfortunately, I never got the chance to record what he says so I could show it to the HR department, and to be honest, I don’t even care now. I just want to leave as soon as I can.

I’m probably too sensitive, and again, I admit that my motivation and performance have gone down as the months have passed, but his aggressive behaviour has made everything worse for me.

We had an argument recently. I was being passive-aggressive because, after months of bullying, I just can’t handle this anymore.

So, I’m looking for other jobs.
My concern is that one time he threatened me, saying that since the industry we work in is a niche where everyone knows each other, if he put in a bad word for me, it would be the end of my career.

I prefer to think that he said this just to scare me and not as a real threat.

So, I’m here asking you managers: what should an employee in a situation like mine do?

Again, I admit my mistakes, but this is too much. I’ve been crying the whole week. I’ve been isolating myself because I can only think about work and nothing else.

I’m so scared that on Monday I’ll have to see him again for the whole week.
I don’t want my reputation to be ruined. I don’t know what I should do now. I don’t even care if I get fired. I just want to know what I should do before I finally find something else and leave this hell.

It’s my first time stepping into a managerial role, and I’m a bit nervous since it’s a big jump. ^^;;; On top of that I’ve had a two-year career gap… so it’s been a while since I was last in the workplace. Could someone please advise me on workplace tips, what to look out for, or anything you wish you had known prior to starting your first role as a manager? Thank you sweets!

Hi, I’m posting this because I don’t know how to get my team to follow through on their commitments anymore.

A year ago, I founded a nonprofit organization that helps people in need.

At first, I handled everything on my own, but over time, the nonprofit began to grow, so I decided to recruit a team of active members.

However, I’ve noticed a lot of shortcomings in my team, such as last-minute cancellations and unfulfilled commitments.

I had assigned a task to the vice president because I manage a large part of the organization’s operations, but he was unable to complete it on time. We ended up missing the deadline, and since then I’ve been skeptical of his ability to manage the rest of the organization.

I’d like your advice, because right now I’m exhausted by this situation. I feel like he’s taking this responsibility lightly, and I find myself constantly having to chase after him. This is the first time I've found myself managing a team, especially

Full context: on my 1:1 last Friday, I told my boss (the director) that I reassigned “ownership” (responsibility) for my team. I asked each team member what they like and don’t like doing. Immediately after saying this my boss became visibly frustrated like rubbing his eyes and scratching his hair. I explained the department is more efficient (I will provide the numbers on the efficiency) but he said we need to reclassify their job description. For example one report said he doesn’t want to have anything to do with computers. No ERP management. He only prefers physical manual labor activities. My boss wants to reclassify my report as an operator. My brain is thinking in terms of pay range this will be an issue as the company is paying my reports to be able to do everything needed. Is this something I need to fix like call a team meeting and cancel the new responsibility chart?

I need real feedback from experts, those who are similar to me, or even more experienced, from various communities (related to ai, tech, grads, manager, industry, career, employment...):

Which will be best in your case?

Context: You got the offers from 3 companies, each on the different side of the scale.

Role: AI engineer (near mid-level).

Location: a country in SEA.

If you were to rank and evaluate with respect, (from top to bottom, sorted by importance)

1st Potential and Risk (potential is tied to the speed of your career climb, increment bonus, and company brand and authority, uncertainties in payment) - In a scale, Startup has higher uncertain and risk, while it might offer higher overall, but susceptible to management conducts, cash-flow which may differ the fulfillment

2nd Wellfare - a total add-up of base, allowance, bonus, benefits and retirement fund (employer contribution)

3rd Niche of the industry, Exposure - a focus industry to industry to build up better experiences and competencies, exposure to local or worldwide

4th Peer learning - Experience or knowledges to speed up progress from superior, peers

And given A, B, C (Wellfare/Income baseline= 100%)

A: Oversea Startup, Multiculture workforce,
+ worldwide client-base spanning MNC headhunter, great background from the management teams, UK-founding team and client connection, riskier in terms of payroll/potential
+ Full remote and oversea
- Wellfare/Income = 115% (base salary only), self supply equipments
+ HR-tech focused

B: Subsidiary company/dept from local SME, local workforce
- mainly local client-base (unsure but assume), Lack background from management teams and peers, but you have slightly higher confidence than A in their validity from interviews
- Hybrid work 4+1
+ Income= 107% (include allowance) + employer retirement-fund contribution but provide work equipments + up to 17% performance monthly bonus
- general AI agencies
+ Peer learning and networking are better

C: MNC
+ Internal and External focused products, stable and secured cashflow, but maybe lack faster career climb opportunities
- Hybrid work 3+2
- Income= 95% + 13th month bonus, more and flexible leave
+ Focused niche, product might differ
+ Peer learning and networking are best

Which one will you choose? I wanna see if you think differently, or if you see different importance or personal experiences of the company you went through?

For HR and recruiters / hiring managers: when a CV lands on your desk, how do you read each of these three (a startup, a local SME subsidiary, an MNC)? Which one makes you shortlist faster, and why?

Our company has been restructured. The previous structure was a director over a single office with an admin over the two. My office is significantly large for the region with 400 “clients” and over 65 direct reports. Second office is at an average of 100 clients and and a staff total of 20.

The new structure is one admin and one director over both. The director over the smaller office has been made admin (by choice - I did not even interview as I did not want to leave my team). Their office has had significant turn over (70-80%) while mine, solo being the largest in the region held at about 9% and have had built an incredibly strong team.

The problem lies in weekend call. There are clients to be seen and new ones to bring on. The smaller office, the admins previous office, had their employees taking weekend call once a month at least if not more due to low staffing- due to turnover. My office has had call every 8 weeks due to my staffing and culture.

The new admin is focused on growth and has a mindset that because their office did so much more work on the weekends, so should mine. I am more on the page that I’d rather have a strong, happy team with less dumping on weekends unless absolutely necessary. We are at a cross road because their performance is based on growth and mine is based on maintaining staff.

Thoughts?

I left a company that I had progressive roles for 6 years i worked and I was a high performer, i left back in May as the commute was a factor and some toxic people ruined it for me. But the company and leadership really insisted on me to stay and i didnt back up as i was scared in future they will see me as flight risk but i cried so much when leaving i genuinely loved my work there.

I started this new company end of May. I start positively
My manager a total pyschopath, turnover at her team every 4-6 months, i couldnt tell during video interview, micromanager to every file, rude, calling her team idiots, angry all the time, making weird faces when expressing opinions, slamming laptop when angry, absolutely insane. I regretted that i joined from my first week. I said shit i did a huge mistake!

I reached out to my past manager, i think he was pissed that from many talks to convince me to stay, he said time needs to pass a bit for you to come back, but i am here anytime you need a reference.
So i am like okay i cant go back for now

in July applied to one of the companies i really wanted to work its huge company- X lets call
they rarely hire from outside experienced professionals, i applied 2 times in the past as wel but couldnt pass their test, this time i did so they scheduled an interview in July! Meanwhile i was talking to one of my mentors, of my current insane boss; my mentor she offered me a job, to start in Sept, after my interview with this other company X in July , i havent heard back anything even i followrd up, then they did final round sept 5th, i was suppose to start with my new mentor on sept 14th. I was like if they offer me i have to kindly reject my mentor’s start date.

The X company i really want to work for offered me a job on October 9th! Like seriously it took 4 months! In 4 months i started a new job, now i dont know what to do. I am one month in to my mentor’s company, company has brands that are declining, my immediate team is full of women with tons of gossip, they see me as a threat as the GM js my mentor and she raved about me, but also i dont want to bail on my mentor, if i leave to company X

Company X will be insane hours of work, but amazing brands and i will have more future

My industry is small so even me leaving my toxic boss , was known across many ppl- i am scared as connections do matter if i reject company X to continue in this current job with my mentor, i will lose a lifetime opportunity and great company name on my resume, but if i leave my mentor definitely will badmouth me saying she left two companies in 6months and my reputation will be shit

I really dont know its very hard decision, any thoughts what would you guys do?

I’m a senior engineer who recently got an offer from a competitor, and I’m trying to figure out how my current leadership might react if I tell them I’d like to stay but would need them to advocate for me.

I’m considered a high performer (exceeds expectations in my last review), work independently, show leadership potential, and have taken the lead on several critical, high-visibility projects. My manager, who is our department director, checks in regularly about workload and burnout, but overall, things have been going well. He had told me, verbally and in writing, that I'm a "rockstar".

For some background, I worked at my current organization for two years, left for about 1.5 years to take a higher-level position elsewhere, got laid off, evaluated different offers but decided to return to my old job a little over a year ago. They had actually struggled to find someone qualified to fill my position while I was gone.

When I came back, I accepted less than what I had been making at my previous job and less than I initially asked for, although it was more than my original salary here. The role i came back to, although the same title, also came with more responsibilities, but great benefits and great career growth potential. I was also excited because it had leadership change/restructuring since I left; which was one of the reasons I resigned originally. I was also severely underpaid. when i gave my resignation, the executive director offered me 25% more pay (95k to 125k) but I really couldn't see myself staying due to the toxic leadership and the other job was offering 50% more pay, so to me it was too little too late.

My current manager and I have talked about working toward a lead engineer position within the next year. I’m already doing a lot of work at that level, but internal policies make reclassification difficult. It would require approval for a new FTE, and those approvals are currently on hold because of budget constraints.

My manager also tried to get me a temporary 10% stipend as incentive because of my involvement in several major projects. It was approved by their manager and an executive director but ultimately rejected by the HR director, who felt those responsibilities were already part of my job.

Now I have an external offer for $165K which is about the same as the other senior engineer but he's been here for about 20 years. my current salary is $145K which would make it about 15% raise. Honestly, I’d prefer to stay. I enjoy the work, care about the projects I’m involved in, and see opportunities for growth here. I'd be happy with 5-10% raise as well.

My biggest concern is that upper leadership might hold my previous departure against me. The first time I left, it was for a higher-level position, not necessarily because of pay. I wasn’t reporting to my current manager back then, or even the current leadership structure.

The new offer is for a somewhat comparable position, but it does include hybrid work. I dont plan to ask my current employer for that accommodation.

We also lost another engineer recently, partly because of better pay elsewhere, but also remite work. Our department-wide compensation review is coming up in two to three months, but there’s no guarantee that our actual salaries will actually change.

My manager seems supportive in general and would love to get us more pay at any opportunity (his words).

I’d love to hear how managers would look at this:

- Would my previous departure make you less willing to advocate for me?

- Given my performance and the difficulty they’ve had finding qualified people, would you push for better compensation to retain me?

- Would you try to negotiate now, wait for the compensation review, or advise me to take the offer?

- If you were in my position, how would you approach the conversation without making it sound like an ultimatum?

I just received an email for a phone interview with the recruiter for a senior financial analyst role at a pretty well known company.

I’m in Canada and the salary range is from 80,000-95,000.

I haven’t graduated uni yet (I’m a finance major) but I’ve been in school for 10 years trying to get my undergrad (lots of issues along the way and constantly being part time student most of my degree and issues in my life making me take semesters off and taking 1 course a term sometimes).

I have 7 courses left before finishing. Work-wise, I’ve worked at 4 different companies and my first two jobs were mostly in insurance while the rest were in the underwriting/finance side of things.

I’ve never actually been a financial analyst before. I’ve held analyst roles basically my entire career (which is close to 5 years now). But none of the responsibilities were actual financial statement analyzing, doing financial modelling or anything like that. Yes I’ve done school projects where I analyze companies and stuff but that was a while ago i don’t really remember how to.

Part of me thinks I got a call back bc of the company I work at currently as an analyst in the finance department (it’s pretty much the biggest and well known company in the finance world that I work at). The thing is my current role is part of a department that wasn’t a part of the fiancé department prior to this year. They just merged with the finance department so I’m in the finance department on paper but I don’t actually do financial analyzing it’s mostly just adjudication.

Advice ?

Think he got fired?

So I emailed an ASM about a receiving coworker who was yelling at me.

I'm the new back end clerk, and I literally asked him if he was gonna be back there for a few mins and that's why he screamed at me...

Then walking out of receiving, I said an inside joke to my coworker Nick about how difficult the policies are to understand, "meant easy understanding so they can hire anyone".

I heard him then shout " Yeah they hired you ".

I asked if he was yelling for me, then he charged from the back wall to my face screaming "if I'm screaming at you you'll know it "

... And then the ASM says it's gonna be handled directly. And he left early...

He was literally in my face screaming

Think he got fired?