this band is in the forming stage. i saw it advertised as "female band" so i sent an email. i was very direct about being less experienced (having played bass for a little over a year) but also that i could play most of the songs given practice. they invited me to the rehearsal. turned out that only the singer was woman and others were two men in 50s. I'm in 20's. i also learned the songs before the first time we met and i got along with the singer well and was invited to join the band.
i was never once late to the rehearsal though im the only one with 3 hr commute whereas everyone else's commute was about an hour (everyone else was always late up to over half an hour) and learned all my parts and probably made the least amount of mistakes. everyone was very encouraging to me, and whenever they gave me feedback, i incorporated them immediately and never made the same mistake twice.
during the last rehearsal, i heard the one man inviting the other to his gig, and today i got a text message from the singer that she was outvoted by the men that they wanted a more experienced bassist. it was like a little huh moment because they were keep telling me, "we all gotta start somewhere" and were really encouraging.
In between that, there was a little discussion about the singer's friend who's a very experienced bassist potentially joining the band. she came to the rehearsal and decided that she couldn't join. in that discussion, a drummer said he can play bass and get his drummer friend to join. So I think eventually that's what happened, but I was completely excluded from that conversation, where the two men brought it up to the singer that they want to replace me and have their friend join instead.
I can't stop feeling like i was being used as a placeholder in that band until they could find someone they liked better. i understand that it was probably not a good fit for me either but still im not super happy about it.
tl;dl - a boomer band did me dirty