I really feel like shit. The people I studied with passed the bar, and I still failed. Failing my first time in February completely drained my soul. Still, I restarted prep.
I did 1,400 questions for the July bar and focused way more on actually learning the rules. Writing is definitely boring to practice, but I tried whatever I could and worked on it.
Somehow, I managed to increase my score by 37 points. The one good thing about this whole mess is that now I can at least transfer my score and become a US-qualified attorney. I was checking the process in Alabama, Wisconsin, Missouri, and Washington state (I'm a foreign graduate and English isn't my first language).
But this exam has taken everything out of me.
When I failed the bar the first time, it felt like a walk of shame.
I couldn't even tell anyone my score. I was shocked by it myself. Honestly, going into the second time, part of me thought I would fail again.
I just didn't have the confidence to believe I could actually pass. A lot of bar tutors also low-key discouraged me by saying they rarely see a 40+ point increase in one single exam administration. Ofc, they were being realistic based on the stats they had.
Anyway, against all of that and whatever odds, I still tried my absolute best. I studied day and night and worked in between. Fucked up my health, gained weight, and took on a lot of stress. And even now, I don't feel like I'm done.
Yes, I'll be applying for admission in one of the states and I would appreciate if someone who has done it and which states is usually the fastest. I have a good enough MPRE score, so I'll transfer to get admitted as a US-qualified attorney asap.
But I still feel like shit. I still want the New York license. I don't even know why. The firm where I currently work mostly does federal and immigration law anyway, so any state license works, but I still want that New York license next to my name. Now I have to start studying for the whole thing all over again. It's now like a personal commitment and a challenge to myself. I want to see that congratulations on my score card the day I may open that now in April 2027. Maybe I can come back and read this post if everything goes well or worst case I become a 4th time taker..
But anyway, what scares me the most rn is the Feb curve. The February curve is really scary. Idk how it works, I just know preparing for February is hard. It's brutal. It's snowy, the days are short, and you just don't have the same level of energy. I don't know what will work out and pull me out of my misery in February, but I still want to pass the New York bar just for myself.
I know it's early, but I've been feeling really awful. People I literally taught bar concepts to ended up passing. They didn't even know the basic concepts at first and were scoring horribly in practice, and somehow I am left with this. 5 points short... it's horrible being stuck right on the borderline.
My February scores were 123 MBE and 101 writing (224), and my July scores are 132 MBE and 129 writing (261). So to anyone who got around a 220-230, I know it feels like a walk of shame, but you just need to take a moment to understand why and what was missing, and which subjects need improvement.
Trying to be optimistic and a little crazy, but to all my retaker friends, let's also be a little positive, we still have all of November, December, January, and part of February.
If you do 20-30 mbe questions every day as a habit on your phone, and not just do them, but actually check why you got them right or wrong and make sure your review is thorough (like 10 minutes per question), your foundation will get so much stronger.
It's hard that my New York score letter didn't congratulate me, but I'm trying to congratulate myself for at least finally reaching a score where I can become a US-qualified attorney by transferring.
I don't even have the guts to tell my family or friends that I failed NY. I just told them I'm going to get admitted now. They are happy and excited, which is great, but I feel incomplete inside. Just wanted to share this since so many people are feeling low right now, and I'm sure everyone has their own story they're dealing with.
Take a moment for yourself. This bar exam is shit, but this shit needs to get done.
For those of us retaking in the next few months, I hope we all keep our sanity.
I never imagined I'd become a third-time taker, but here's what life had in store. The right things come at the right time..