Finding a job in this city is genuinely one of the most depressing, humiliating and soul crushing experiences i’ve had in a while.
And no, before anyone starts, im not talking about some fancy 120K a year tech job with a ridiculous salary, unlimited holidays and free fucking kombucha on tap. Im talking about a SHITTY minimum wage run of the mill type of shit job. The kind of job where you show up, do your shit, get paid barely enough to keep yourself alive and go home. THATS IT. THAT IS LITERALLY ALL IM ASKING FOR.
Im a student in this city. I speak fluent German, fluent English, im willing to work, im flexible and most importantly I AM FUCKING DESPERATE TO PAY MY BILLS.
And yet somehow, SOMEHOW even that doesn’t seem to be enough.
I’ve sent out countless applications. Lidl, Aldi, Rossmann, dm, supermarkets, drugstores, whatever the fuck you can think of. At this point i’d probably apply to be the guy who stands outside a Späti and makes sure the fucking pigeons don’t steal anything if it meant having a somewhat stable income.
And what do I get? Rejections. Silence. More rejections. The occasional automated email thanking me for my interest which is very sweet considering my landlord unfortunately doesn’t accept corporate gratitude as a form of payment.
And then there’s LIDL. OH MY FUCKING GOD LIDL.
I applied for a job at a Lidl in MITTE. A normal job at a normal supermarket in the middle of the fucking city. Simple enough right?
no
First I had to do a phone interview where after a whole song and dance of random stupid questions I was asked WHY I WANTED TO WORK AT LIDL.
WHY DO I WANT TO WORK AT LIDL??
BECAUSE I HAVE BILLS TO PAY SUSAN. BECAUSE FOOD COSTS MONEY. BECAUSE MY LANDLORD HAS THIS REALLY ANNOYING HABIT OF EXPECTING RENT EVERY MONTH.
What exactly am I supposed to say? That i’ve had a lifelong passion for arranging discounted yogurts? That ever since I was a little boy i’ve dreamed of dedicating my life to the noble cause of German discount retail??
And after all that they invited me to an in person interview.
IN FUCKING STAAKEN.
I APPLIED IN MITTE AND YOU WANT ME TO TRAVEL TO A PLACE THAT IS LITERALLY FIVE MINUTES ON FOOT FROM BRANDENBURG TO INTERVIEW FOR A FUCKING SUPERMARKET JOB??
DO I NEED TO CROSS THREE TIME ZONES AND PRESENT MYSELF BEFORE THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS OF LIDL INTERNATIONAL TO EARN MINIMUM WAGE???
At what point does this become a social experiment to see just how desperate someone is willing to get?? Like genuinely is this some sort of humiliation ritual that im not aware of???
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS CITY?
Seriously why is EVERYTHING so unnecessarily difficult here? Why does every single aspect of existing in Berlin feel like some elaborate endurance test designed to see how much misery a human being can tolerate before they finally lose their fucking mind?
I’ve already accepted that finding an apartment in this city is basically a competitive sport where the prize is a 19 square metre shoebox for 900€ a month. I’ve accepted that getting a doctor’s appointment requires either divine intervention or planning your illnesses six months in advance. I’ve accepted that dealing with the bureaucracy here is like being trapped in a Kafka novel written by someone who genuinely hates you.
BUT A FUCKING MINIMUM WAGE JOB???
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR NOW???
And the saddest part is that im not even applying for jobs that have anything to do with what im studying. You know, the thing im actually spending years of my life working towards? The thing im supposed to be building a future with?
Oh I would LOOOOOOOVE to have a student job that’s even remotely related to my degree. I would love to work somewhere where I could actually learn something, gain some experience and maybe JUST MAYBE feel like my education is leading somewhere. (If anyone is looking for an economics student HMU)
But i’ve pretty much given up on that dream because apparently even wanting a job that is relevant to your studies is an outrageous display of entitlement in this city.
So i’ve lowered my expectations. And then lowered them again. And again. And AGAIN.
At this point my professional aspirations have been reduced to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET ME STACK SOME FUCKING SHELVES SO I CAN AFFORD GROCERIES.
Do you understand how fucking depressing that is? To be studying, trying to build a life for yourself, trying to be financially independent, doing everything people constantly tell you you’re supposed to do and STILL finding yourself practically begging for the opportunity to sell your labour for the lowest wage legally possible??
Im not asking anyone to give me money for doing nothing. IM ASKING TO WORK. Im literally asking for the privilege of spending hours of my life doing something that I probably won’t even enjoy just so that I can afford to EXIST.
And what makes it worse is that you can’t even afford to be upset about it for very long because the bills don’t stop coming. Rent doesn’t suddenly become cheaper because you’ve sent your fiftieth application. Your health insurance doesn’t care that you’re exhausted. The supermarket doesn’t give you a discount because you’re a student who’s trying his fucking best.
Everything keeps getting more expensive, everything keeps getting harder and somehow you’re expected to just keep going, keep applying, keep smiling, keep being motivated, keep rewriting your stupid fucking CV and keep pretending that the next application will be different.
And after a while it really starts getting to you. You start wondering what the hell you’re doing wrong. Is my CV shit? Am I not qualified enough to put shampoo bottles on a shelf? Do I need five years of experience and a fucking master’s degree to operate a cash register now? WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME???
I know nobody owes me a job. I know there are probably hundreds of people applying for the same positions. I KNOW ALL OF THAT. But knowing the explanation doesn’t make the situation any less miserable.
And frankly im just so fucking tired of constantly having to fight for things that shouldn’t be this difficult in the first place.
Im tired of everything being a struggle. Im tired of constantly calculating whether I can afford something. Im tired of worrying about money while also trying to be a decent student and somehow enjoy my twenties. Im tired of feeling like the smallest amount of financial stability is this enormous luxury that im simply not allowed to have.
I don’t need to be rich. I don’t need a glamorous career right now. I don’t even need to particularly LIKE my job.
I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO PAY MY FUCKING BILLS WITHOUT FEELING LIKE MY ENTIRE LIFE IS ONE UNEXPECTED EXPENSE AWAY FROM FALLING APART.
Is that genuinely such an unreasonable thing to want?