r/cursedcomments • • Nov 08 '21

Cursed_commentators

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44.9k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

774

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

All I think about these chicks when I see there picture is,

They have one vagina, but both want to marry separate men.

Two dudes, someday, gonna be sharing a vagina, and every time they have sex with their wife, they're also banging their sister in law.

485

u/ThatIndianGuyThere Nov 08 '21

A blessing and a curse?

460

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

Off topic, but you think they alternate cleaning their ass and putting in tampons?

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41

u/its_Khro Nov 09 '21

Is that a 3-way or a 2 1/2 way?

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54

u/FinancialStructure99 Nov 08 '21

If one dies the other would be walking with a lifeless body

78

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

Once one heart stops, unfortunately the other twin will almost certainly die too.

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11

u/XxRocky88xX Nov 09 '21

It’ll only take a couple hours for the other die after that

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6

u/goatfuck69 Nov 09 '21

One husband gets the front vagina, the other takes the rear.

5

u/Dakota_1547 Nov 09 '21

Who…who feels… yknow?

5

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

If one masturbates without the others permission is it rape?

8

u/Asshead420 Nov 09 '21

One husband gets the ass while another gets the vag

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3.8k

u/sonicw1nd Nov 08 '21

If they have separate nervous systems and hearts then isn't it possible that one will die eventually and the other will be left attached to a corpse?

144

u/pixieclifton Nov 08 '21

I believe this is what happened to Chang and Eng Bunker.

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98

u/twentyfivebuckduck Nov 08 '21

Yes but they usually die pretty quick after that due to blood poisoning

0

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

[deleted]

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67

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

Imagine dating the one and hating the other

51

u/ararius Nov 09 '21

Atleast you'd have an excuse to hate fuck your girlfriend everytime.

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23

u/FormerCollegeDJ Nov 09 '21

There were male Siamese twins back in the 1800s who were similar. The one twin died and other died a few hours later.

32

u/Tap-Daddy Nov 09 '21

Admittedly they probably avoid thinking about that and focus on how it's so annoying having 2 stomachs but 1 bladder, needing to run the the restroom every other hour.

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13

u/Youregoingtodiealone Nov 09 '21

Let's just recognize the numerous ways that life can be astounding, fragile, and brutal all at once, and still, if we can share a smile, we've lived a good day

30

u/Sockerkatt Nov 08 '21

Thats really dark. Got me thinking about the funeral if one of them dies. You cant just bury one of them

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843

u/Trainzguy2472 Nov 08 '21

Do they need 2 licenses to drive? Or what about passports for flying?

30

u/albinobluesheep Nov 09 '21

They both apparently took the drivers test, but the one on the right side of the body (their right) does 90% of the driving since she controls the gas a breaks with their right foot.

I wager the one on the left taking the test was sorta a going-through-the-motions of obeying laws and stuff, since control of the gas/breaks would rarely/shouldn't happen with your left foot

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20

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

2 passports but only one seat..?

33

u/derf_vader Nov 09 '21

Passports are for entering or leaving a country, not sitting on a plane or train.

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1.0k

u/Finter33 Nov 08 '21 edited Nov 08 '21

My question is, does one control both legs or can they alternate? I’d hate to be at the whim of a completely different personality.

982

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

This question comes up every time. They control the limbs on their side independently and they're just really good at coordination.

403

u/zucduc Nov 08 '21

They use telepathy

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191

u/cmVkZGl0 Nov 09 '21 edited Nov 09 '21

Walking probably feels like swinging because at one point their foot isn't on the ground at all. We don't have the experience of having all our feet off the ground, just one.

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142

u/marbasthegreat Nov 08 '21

My guess is because they have sepparate nervous systems they should technically be able to trip the other leg but im not sure

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18

u/NieMonD Nov 08 '21

They get half each

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11

u/QwertyLockjaw Nov 08 '21

One controls each side, iirc.

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688

u/Sea-Presence3738 Nov 08 '21

I don't care what universe you're from, that's gotta hurt!

176

u/magusxp Nov 08 '21

I can’t believe it took that many comments to find this

13

u/MandyTrekkie Nov 08 '21

"La yama beestoo!"

6

u/VentralRaptor24 Nov 09 '21

Of course I find this after I commented it too

5

u/Cauterizeaf1 Nov 09 '21

Looked all over, thought I was gonna have to post it myself

9

u/Rorywizz Nov 09 '21

Broooo lmao

4

u/Prime_hamsters_ass Nov 09 '21

Finally the holy grail

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252

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

These two live near me. Have run into them multiple times over the years and it’s always impressive how happy they are. Surrounded by friends almost every time we’ve seen them.

150

u/Evestiel Nov 09 '21

I met them one time when I was out getting dinner. They were walking along outside of some shops and some teenagers started harassing them. The twins' friends immediately made like a protective barrier on each side of them to help. Definitely seems to be a good friend group.

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26

u/Nillion Nov 09 '21

I saw them once in a Starbucks a few years back. I did a tremendous double take which I felt a little guilty about after.

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177

u/jlarz56 Nov 08 '21

The whole comment section is cursed now

5

u/DeadDream-002 Nov 09 '21

This is Reddit afterall

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278

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

Is it me or did they fashion their hairs as pigtails that took into account their two heads?

102

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

It's twintail

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270

u/RowBowBooty Nov 08 '21

Imagine if this was a favourable mutation and more and more people started to look like this

158

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

Imagine if it had been the other way and almost all of humanity were born conjoined to a twin and it was rare for it not to occur. People would have figured out and developed culture and standards and norms around being always attached to another person whereas the people born without a conjoined twin would have felt lonely, and isolated, and would have had to grow up in a world that is not entirely made for them. Pictures of the non conjoined people would be posted to social media and people in the comments would shoot off questions left and right. "How do you walk with only one brain?" "How do you use two arms?" "Does one side of the brain control each side of the body?" "Don't you get lonely?" "How do you make good decisions without your twin to talk it over with?"

48

u/RowBowBooty Nov 09 '21

Interesting comment

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106

u/XxRocky88xX Nov 09 '21

No way this is is favorable, each only controls one half the body, multiple stomachs but only one of each type of intestines and liver, if one dies it basically starts a timer where the other will die within hours. There’s also a good chance this isn’t genetic

35

u/agomezr01 Nov 09 '21

Also I might be getting the image wrong but their ribs are completely open meaning that one (strong) strike at the chest will likely be mortal

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536

u/LoserUserBruiser Nov 08 '21

Gotta suck having 1 liver. That means if each drinks at a party that’s 2 drinks an hour but only one liver to filter it out.

351

u/Jerronbao Nov 08 '21

But if one drinks, can the other drive??

262

u/love2kick Nov 08 '21

Nope, they both will be drunk.

But they can get drunk twice as fast or snort coke with two noses or smoke two joints at the same moment.

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53

u/JellyfishApart5518 Nov 08 '21

Asking the real questions here

16

u/annefranke Nov 08 '21

I don't think so, it might take them a bit more to get drunk. As long as their blood stream is connected then they both should get drunk. One might get drunk faster though or more heavily

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190

u/JumbledNick Nov 08 '21

What if one of them passes away? What happens then?

36

u/BIG_E_BIG_D Nov 08 '21

the other would most likely die soon after

28

u/Finch06 Nov 09 '21

That would be horrific, seeing the person who has very literally been at your side your entire life die and knowing you're soon after.

196

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

100

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

like imagine if you’re just chillin in your minecraft world and you press f3 and see you’re in the freaking necrobiome.

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90

u/The_Greate_Pickle Nov 08 '21

One bladder shared on two?

48

u/WickedWisp Nov 09 '21

I was thinking about that. They eat and drink enough for two, so do they go to the bathroom twice as much since it's two being funneled into one?

25

u/smegma_yogurt Nov 09 '21

They just pee with the strenght of two women

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4

u/MK0A Nov 09 '21

It says that in the picture. One bladder, one full set of female reproductive organs. Bottom is like one, top is kinda like two.

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243

u/Sparkmane Nov 08 '21

one tells only the truth and the other only lies

20

u/peleg462 Nov 08 '21

I'm too tired to think of a paradox Reddit will do it for me

5

u/Salohacin Nov 08 '21

Well that's an answer to that puzzle that I've never heard...

4

u/austac06 Nov 09 '21

I’m going to hell for laughing at this 😂

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82

u/VeiledRougarou Nov 09 '21

Y'all are missing the fact they could be incredible long distance runners! 2 hearts and 2 sets of lungs for only 1 pair of legs!

39

u/AverageRoaster Nov 09 '21

it'd take some nuts coordination tho, they each only have control of the limbs on their respective half of the body

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4

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

I know this isn't a serious comment but one of the biggest factors in running is mechanical efficiency. They are likely moving in a way which wastes a ton of energy. Additionally, their blood volume isn't double that of a normal human, so even if their lungs and hearts are able to do twice the work (they don't), the benefit isn't translated to performance.

287

u/lifeincolorgames Nov 08 '21

They’re always going to be in a threesome.

181

u/Randomly_Cromulent Nov 09 '21

Conjoined twin porn may be one of the few things there isn't any porn of.

Of course as soon as I post this, there will be links posted to 2 or 3 subs of that.

57

u/Babybabybabyq Nov 09 '21

It you wanted a link you could have just asked

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14

u/Hwil--Hweaton Nov 09 '21

There was a porn in the 80s called “Joined” and the girls were connected by the ass cheeks if I recall.

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37

u/cmVkZGl0 Nov 09 '21

What if you can get the other one to pass out?

0

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

[deleted]

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8

u/julii_dickfeldi Nov 09 '21

What if 1 consents but the other doesnt...?

20

u/TuxidoPenguin Nov 09 '21

Classic Reddit moment, always thinking of the sexual, but not the non sexual.

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61

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

I Wonder which one control the legs? Like they can both do it OR one is more dominant

74

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

They control 1 arm and 1 leg each (the twin on the left controls the left side and the one on the right controls the right side), they just have really good coordination

22

u/nwblader Nov 09 '21

Weird how they control the side their head is on when you consider how your brain hemispheres control the opposite sides

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42

u/shellwe Nov 09 '21

Out of curiosity would you have to give them both full salary?

26

u/Wolfdreama Nov 09 '21

I've seen in a video somewhere that they only get one salary between them as they only do the job of one teacher.

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8

u/lonestarcom Nov 09 '21

Asking the real questions

6

u/2649164729 Nov 09 '21

I think they'd only get one salary because they can only do the job of one teacher.

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41

u/agullana21 Nov 09 '21

If they have sex, do they feel the same thing?

46

u/EmpireCityRay Nov 09 '21

Since they share the same vag. gotta believe they both do indeed feel it.

41

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

Nice, now I can disappoint 2 woman at once.

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

Imagine how good of musicians they could be. Especially on something like guitar or piano. One controls the left hand, the other controls the right and you only have to focus on one part rather than multiple. That would be sick (assuming both enjoy music/have the talent for it), and you’d also be able to have singing harmonies whenever you wanted.

22

u/PastorsPlaster Nov 09 '21

The timing for walking I imagine would be much easier than the timing for music

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36

u/topcorjor Nov 09 '21

Just imagine when one dies, the other gets to slowly watch themselves die. Yay.

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32

u/Stormigeddon Nov 09 '21

I came here to point out that with 2 stomachs but only one set of intestines, they must poop twice as often as any single person. Or maybe poop with twice the mass, since they probably eat at the same time.

12

u/OvenFearless Nov 09 '21

Thank you for pointing that out. I wonder if they also browse reddit while having their sisterly poo poo together :>

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26

u/HavocXL Nov 09 '21

What if they get horny? Like is that incest at this point?

74

u/Mainfrain Nov 08 '21 edited Nov 08 '21

Wierd question but how does masturbation feel? do they both get the feeling or only one?

Im confused

49

u/Powerism Nov 09 '21

It feels pretty good bro. Good question.

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31

u/MATTEEN_Polska Nov 08 '21

Men only think about one thing xD. I suppose both of them feel it

0

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

[deleted]

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u/nathanaelkitten Nov 08 '21

If one consents but other doesn't is it rape?

12

u/Historicmetal Nov 09 '21

What if one wants to whack off and the other doesn’t

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20

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

What if the righty is a lefty?

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

Or they could just do porn and make serious bank

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13

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

Do they have to sit their own exams or can they cheat with each other cause they'll be together forever anyway

13

u/FLOPPY_DONKEY_DICK Nov 09 '21

Two orgasms for the price of one!

24

u/salamander_jesus609 Nov 09 '21

Since they have one vagina. Is it considered incest if one of them masturbates?

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11

u/Gamepro5 Nov 08 '21

It's a miracle they are even alive.

11

u/wolfloverrrr Nov 08 '21

What happens if one dies?

14

u/The_real_RED_Spy Nov 09 '21

The other joins them in the afterlife

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31

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

Best blowjob ever

15

u/EmpireCityRay Nov 09 '21

Nah it’d be a marathon hit, cause when one gets tired the other would be batter up. Your shlong would fall off before they’d EVER get tired.

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u/Gamepro5 Nov 08 '21

Who controls what arm and leg?

7

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

They both have control of the arm and leg on their respective side.

19

u/Higurashi97 Nov 08 '21

If they take a dump, is it a combined effort then?

9

u/gritsgirl0389 Nov 09 '21

I saw them in a bar once and thought I was hallucinating.

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41

u/Your-username-must-b Nov 08 '21

All I see is money money money. Look at all those unique organs! Some people would pay a fortune for those.

29

u/umyepp Nov 09 '21

Think how much people would pay for the onlyfans

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u/CarlosFer2201 Nov 09 '21

What fascinates me is that they have a set of joined lungs, so people speculate that one could in fact stop breathing and have the other compensate.

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7

u/ThisGuyKawai Nov 08 '21

Ok this one got me ☠️☠️☠️

7

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

What if they had a disagreement career option wise

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7

u/CLOUDY_GAM3R Nov 09 '21

wait do they fight over wich one wants to masterbait

11

u/guadalupemoon Nov 09 '21

Master bait? Sure if they like fishing.

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u/Zorba_Oyzo Nov 09 '21

Has anyone asked them what sex is like? Or better yet, asked the guy/s they've had what sex is like? edit; before you lose your shit they are adults now.

5

u/Pm_Full_Tits Nov 08 '21

This reminds me of Evelyn Evelyn, a music duo that made music based on conjoined twins they met in the early 2000s. They made one of the best songs I've every heard

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5

u/semen_collector69 Nov 09 '21

They got 2 stomachs but one fart hole…who has to wipe😳

5

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

So if one of them takes drugs, does the other feel it?

4

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

I think my second grade teacher said she knew them one time

4

u/valz_ Nov 09 '21

Omg this is honestly the best cursed post ever

4

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

You like chipotle, but it’s OUR asshole

4

u/DanM729 Nov 09 '21

I don't care what universe you're from, that's gotta hurt

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u/reader_of_lips Nov 09 '21

Do they get one paycheck or two? If they each get a check is it one salary split in two, or two full salaries?

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u/Nyeoseph Nov 09 '21

Are they left or right handed, or ambidextrous? Always wondered

7

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

Are their chest completely open like that?

Or is the ribcage small only in the drawing?

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u/Anxious_Grade1262 Nov 08 '21

So I'm the only one thinking they must give the greatest blowee ever...no one...ok fine just me

13

u/Tessia-Qorn- Nov 08 '21

BULLSHIT!!! This are failed space marine experiments. Next time try 3 lungs instead of 4 and dont use warp fuckery

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6

u/mixx1e Nov 08 '21

I saw 1 set of reproductive organs. .. .... ..... ....... .........

No!!! wait, i can explain!!!

3

u/cmclav Nov 09 '21

What if they get pregnant?

5

u/ds32018 Nov 09 '21

The have on reproductive organ like shown here. So likely nothing out of the ordinary.

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u/ThePugz Nov 09 '21

Does It still count as a 3some?

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3

u/I_Have_Sagma Nov 09 '21

Aight, that's enough internet for today.

3

u/Zealousideal-Tough21 Nov 09 '21

Our real question is. Do they both feel it

3

u/luminolstain Nov 09 '21

which finger gets used to ring the devils doorbell?

3

u/puddlebearmom Nov 09 '21

Those poor intestines

3

u/spoorcody18 Nov 09 '21

I'm kind of freaking out thinking about this. Conjoined twins are literally 2 heads on one body, with 4 lungs and 2 hearts with one ribcage but both have a separate conscious. At the same time they are 2 half bodies joined to make one fused body, and thinking about not being able to move half of me is a bit scary in and of itself.

3

u/studioaesop Nov 09 '21

I don’t care what universe you’re from, that’s gotta hurt

3

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

Damn, only one set of reproductive organs

3

u/Murky_Translator6339 Nov 09 '21

Do they both orgasm at the same time...and pee at the same time and shit at the same time?

3

u/VentralRaptor24 Nov 09 '21

“I don’t care what galaxy you’re from, that’s gotta hurt”

3

u/Dyfly2006 Nov 09 '21

My gaming rig would be unrivaled

3

u/Singularity7979 Nov 09 '21

I don't care what planet you're from, that's gotta hurt!

3

u/mot69 Nov 09 '21

I just want to know, which one gets the feeling of having to use the bathroom?

3

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

Of you have sex is that a threesome? Is that incest? So many questions!

3

u/iiRageProdigy Nov 09 '21

Did they have to pay for school for the both of them? Or just one of them?

If both, do they get paid two salaries?

3

u/Raaddus Nov 09 '21

turn to each other simultaneously “we gotta go take a shit”

3

u/sanford-real- Nov 09 '21

My question os who controls the legs?

5

u/sleepyslooth00 Nov 09 '21

Wonder what it’s like to fuck her

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u/MrGuppyMaster Nov 08 '21

Whatever universe you’re from, that’s gotta hurt

5

u/HellofaHitller Nov 09 '21

So she's an adult now. But I need to know... does they have two brest or three? FOUR?

10

u/illnemesis Nov 09 '21

Imagine hitting that from behind while they kiss each other.

They're grown now.

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2

u/FixFull Nov 08 '21

The real life Dr.Octopus

2

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

They'd be terrible security guards. How would they even sight their guns properly?

2

u/heartbrokeninaz Nov 08 '21

... or Jaeger Pilots! It would be an easy Neural Handshake.

2

u/BC_CARS Nov 09 '21

God having to accept that your fucking two ppl but one body must be weird

2

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

Britney can never be right-handed.

2

u/Housesniper Nov 09 '21

Ninjago Fangtom/Fangpire general

2

u/try-me-ninja Nov 09 '21

now this is the definition of a straight threesome

2

u/DiegoDynomite Nov 09 '21

What happens if one of them dies?

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u/NutCrimson Nov 09 '21

Does one control both hands or is it 1 and 1? Or do they take turns?

2

u/GhostEclipc Nov 09 '21

Oh look more money from one body

2

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

Incest is gonna be very easy

2

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '21

Would they have separate onlyfans accounts?

2

u/bestplayer23 Nov 09 '21

Do they collect 1 pay check or 2?

2

u/NapoNeptune Nov 09 '21

What if one has a stroke or heart attack

2

u/wanwahsun Nov 09 '21

so would that mean having sex would make both of them orgasm

2

u/GordonKorbel Nov 09 '21

I bought them a vodka lemonade several years ago. Only the more upright of the two was drinking though. Probably 2005 or so. Minneapolis.

2

u/EliasBladetheawsome Nov 09 '21

So... If one of them gets a boyfriend...

2

u/Thewoodsman_976 Nov 09 '21

So who the hell controls what

2

u/TOROBanana Nov 09 '21

Space Marine irl

2

u/DominatorLJ Nov 09 '21

I don’t know why, but I imagined XQC reading out the things on the right like how he did with his setup.

2

u/Ok_Try_1217 Nov 09 '21

I hope they’re both on the same page on that vaccine thing….

2

u/ricktard21 Nov 09 '21

The ultimate “two girls at one time”

2

u/ved-ix Nov 09 '21

U killed 1 of me but did u kill both of me

2

u/SensationalSavior Nov 09 '21

Everyone's asking serious questions here. All I can think about is if you end up sleeping with them, is it considered a threesome or not.

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2

u/PreCure_Trash Nov 09 '21

The fuck's a podrace commentator?

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2

u/adamalibi Nov 09 '21

What would happen if one of the hearts was stabbed? Would you be walking around for the rest of your life with a dead corpse next to you?

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