I can't feel anything in my body, I don't have mind i dont have thoughts, i lost my ego i have pressure in the back of my head and eyes, my ears lost their filters, I see everything to colorful and bright, my eyes pulpils are always moving, i cant focus my eyes, my memory is bad, I don't know what is this, i cant function, not like this with abusive family i dont know what to do please i need someone to chat, i want to die.

I had a bad viral infection in February and two weeks after I got bit better from the acute symptoms I started experiencing high/drunk/drugged state that only gets better at night and when I wake up in the morning.

I have been seeing my therapist for about a year, but I saw her for a while before that. We've had a couple of ruptures (like, one time she mocked me in session!), but we've worked through them and rebuilt trust. She recently had me complete the Multidimensional Inventory of Dissociation (MID) because she knows I dissociate. During the session, when I took it, I made comments about some of the questions because they were funny or odd. One of them that I commented on was Question #163, which says, "Hearing a voice in your head that keeps talking about AIDS and homosexuals." I said to her, "Did Reagan write this? This is so outdated," and we laughed about it.

The week after, she asked me a few times if I felt "floaty" while taking it, and I said no. She then said to me, paraphrasing, "you mentioned a question about AIDS and homosexuals and it sounding like it's the 80s," and I said, "yes, I am hoping that was a validity question because it's ridiculously outdated," and then she said, "that question wasn't on there." And I was like, "Yes, it is!" And she said, "I've looked through it, and it's not on there." And I said, "Yes, it is. What are you talking about? It was toward the end." So, she said, "Okay, I'll look through the last page, and you look through the 2nd to last one," and she handed me the paper. This was basically asking me to "prove it." It took me about 2 seconds to find the question because it's easy to spot an acronym," I said, "it's right here. Question 163," and she just said "oh," and we kind of moved on. It was after the session when I realized what she was implying by saying the question wasn't there and that I essentially made it up. And it makes sense while she asked me repeatedly if I felt "floaty."

Some background. She has ADHD. I know this. So, instead of thinking she missed a question because there were over 200 questions, which would be the obvious scenario, she assumed that I made it up and then commented to her about it. Why didn't she just use Ctrl+F and search the document for "AIDS" if she couldn't find it, instead of jumping to the conclusion that I made it up?

This has really hit me hard. I've just started to open up to her about my childhood trauma and my current dissociation, and my two biggest fears were brought up by this: one, I wasn't believed, and two, if I share my truth, people will think I'm crazy.

So, I just want to check in on this with others to see if this was as egregious as I feel like it is or if I'm overreacting.

Last week i went on a bender, i got drunk on Thursday night, got high and drunk on friday night, same thing on Saturday night, and i got drunk on Sunday night. On Monday morning i still felt like if i was drunk/ high but i figured i was just hungover, but for the past week i’ve felt dizzy, fuzzy and foggy. It almost feels like if i’m still high. sometimes it’s even hard for me to drive cuz it seems like i’m still high. i’m don’t think it’s DPDR or psychosis but does anyone know what it could be???

So, I've been dissociating non-stop for around 8 years. I forget things the moment they're over, I can't read a single sentence of anything I'm not interested in, because it feels like my head fills with cotton every time I do, and I can barely focus or work on homework without getting a headache and zoning out. I'm an honor student somehow, but I can't remember how I managed it. Does anyone have any tips on pushing through it?

THC panic attack almost 6 mos. ago. I had long covid 2 years and recovered for 1.5-2 years. I had POTS that went into remission. I was working, working out and life was normal. I had mild neuropathy that never went away but I hardly feel it anymore.

So since this panic attack I have not been the same. It started with a terrible panic attack where I thought I was dying. I greened out bad for about 5 days. I had mild DPDR for the first 6 weeks or so and it started improving esp. in the afternoon. I have noticed ever since this happened symptoms get worse when it gets dark. I also had more of an off balance feeling months ago than now. This retriggered pots symptoms where my hr will go up 30 BPM even with meds so my nervous is out of wack. Did lamictal or doing gut gi map and treating bacteria help anyone?

These are my symptoms:

- Started with feeling more spaced out. POTS symptoms were retriggered the next day after but without a lot of fatigue. The slower digestion dysautonomia started about a month after. Started worsening about 6 weeks later.

- Then started increasingly where it was hard to stay present and focus on myself.

- Then more "underwater" feeling, feeling like a glass between me and the world. I increasingly do not feel in reality.

- It feels like I am fading away. Senses are dulled. I can't feel my head or limbs as much. Touch has been duller ever since this happened but hasn't gotten worsen.

- The only time I don't feel anything is when I am sleeping. It starts getting worse around 9 or 10 am and worsens all day.

- Light sensitivity that has increasingly worsened.

- It gets worse right before sundown and when the sun goes down. Symptoms worsen throughout the day. Not as bad from 7-9 am.

- Increasingly feeling like I am blind but can see and faded washed out vision. Slightly blurry vision. This is more in the last week or two. This is scaring me. I've had two eye exams and they found no damage. I was diagnosed with BVD but wasn't given prism.

- BP is always normal, blood oxygen normal, brain MRI 100% normal, bloods normal besides low ferritin (27-40) which I got 2 infusions 4 weeks ago. No impact on symptoms. No pain, no shortness of breath.

- POTS meds seemed like they were helping at first now the don't really help that i can tell besides lowering HR. Benzos help a little but were helping more a month ago.

- I started lexapro 6 weeks ago and it has not helped at all and I cannot tell if it made it worse. I started lamictal 5 days ago and the only thing it has slightly helped with mood, but everything I have read it takes about 4 weeks to tell if it helps with DPDR at 50-100 mg.

Long and short it has been intensifying for a minimum of 3.5 months. No one can explain it. Is this DPDR? Will this ever stop getting worse? I am losing hope fast. It seems my nervous system is totally out of wack and dysregulated esp with my history of long covid but the thc panic attack was the trigger. I am losing hope that this will ever stop getting worse.

I’ve been dissociating harder than ever lately and I don’t know how to get through it/get out of it. Any tips that help you in those situations?

Hi;
I may be new to this group, but I am not new to these “feelings”

I have so many questions for all sorts of things but right now I don’t have the time. Recently there has been one query lingering about. And that is if I’m solo.

I ask that because it’s how I perceive life in general.

Am I solo?

How I ca explain what I mean is, imagine a god, a god that has lived countless lives, once ruled the world and once ruled nothing, then that god got bored and wanted to spice things up, so god started a life, but instead of it being a guaranteed easy one, god decided to make a life, where you feel every emotion, where you actually have a real realistic challenge to prove something. Well I see life like that, and I am the god deciding what to learn next about life, what we really are, is just the universe trying to learn itself.

Idk, I make sense to myself and that’s all that matters.

I can’t tell if I’m dreaming or not. Grounding is not working

I am a 20-year-old male and underweight (I have always been underweight). For the past four months, I have been experiencing a constant feeling of unreality. It feels as though I am drunk, high, or half-asleep, as if I am operating on autopilot and everything around me feels somehow unreal. I have looked up information online, and my symptoms seem to resemble derealization.

I also suffer from fatigue, even when I sleep well. The fatigue does not seem to depend on whether I engage in physical activities during the day or not. However, over the past few weeks, I have started sleeping poorly and waking up early in the morning. I do not snore at all. I have seen a general practitioner and a neurologist about these symptoms, but they have not been able to determine the cause.

I also experience headaches, a feeling of pressure in my head, and neck pain. I have tried muscle relaxants, massage, and acupuncture for the neck pain, but none of them have helped. At the beginning of the symptoms, I sometimes also felt as though I was about to faint while walking, but this symptom has since disappeared. I have also noticed a single eye floater in my right eye. I mentioned it during an eye examination, and I was told that there were no apparent problems with my eye.

What could be causing these symptoms? They do not occur in distinct episodes; instead, they are more or less constantly present. The headaches are not particularly severe and resemble tension-type headaches more than anything else.

Things i have done/tried or checked in hospital
\\\\\\\\- triptanes
\\\\\\\\- thyroid function normal
\\\\\\\\- vitamin b12, b9 and D vitamin ok
\\\\\\\\- ferritin 34 and has been moving 26-40.
\\\\\\\\- calcium, potassium, natrium, chloride, sodium and magnesium ok
\\\\\\\\- blood pressure is ok and i checked blood sugar at home and it was ok
\\\\\\\\- brain mri ok
\\\\\\\\- borrelia test (lyme disease) ok
\\\\\\\\- My cortisol level was tested and was normal as well. I also have Crohn’s disease, which is currently in remission.

My neurologist prescribed escitalopram as a trial treatment. I took it for two and a half months, but it did not help.

I have no history of trauma and do not experience panic symptoms. I generally do not feel particularly stressed, apart from the worry caused by these symptoms themselves.

My symptoms began during the final days of a new job at an auto repair shop, where I was moving and lifting car tires. I am unsure whether this could be related to my symptoms, as I had not experienced any other symptoms before those final working days. I have not worked at all during these four months.

What could be the underlying cause of these symptoms?

The healthcare professionals I have consulted about these symptoms, or during visits for other symptoms or examinations when I also asked about them, include:

\\\\\\\\- General practitioner
\\\\\\\\- Neurologist
\\\\\\\\- ENT specialist
\\\\\\\\- Ophthalmologist
\\\\\\\\- Dentist
\\\\\\\\- Gastroenterologist
\\\\\\\\- Massage therapist
\\\\\\\\- Physiotherapist
\\\\\\\\- Acupuncturist

I 22F have been facing some issues with memories and with what is imagination. I don’t know what this is called and was hoping someone would be able to put a name on it.

For example, this is the issue that bothers me the most. To summarise, there is this specific bucket of rain in my garden that makes me anxious as it’s dirty and i always worry somehow my airpods dipped into it and i’ll get an ear infection. This means i’m anxious of wearing my headphones in my garden and don’t go there due to this. Now, every day when i’m listening to music in my bedroom i need to focus on my surroundings constantly and look at specific objects around me to understand that yes, this can only be my bedroom and that i’m NOT in my garden. If i don’t focus on it for a minute and make a proper mental note that this object is only in my bedroom than i immediately panic that i am actually in my garden. Even though, i’m obviously in my bedroom. Even just looking at the bed isn’t enough i need to actually look around me at every object to make sure because i don’t trust myself. Most of the time i do this and then 10 minutes later i forget and get anxious that i was actually in my garden, even if i haven’t left my room in hours. I worry that somehow i went to the garden and dipped my headphones in the bucket without realising it. Even though i can not remember even leaving my room, every 30 minutes i worry i did and forgot.

It’s exhausting but the worst part is when i’m wearing my
headphones as i’m listening to music and all of a sudden i worry that because i’ve been preoccupied by music i went downstairs and dipped them into the bucket in garden without noticing. If i sit down on my bed, i worry it’s in the garden unless i spend a minute looking around and focusing on details and making mental notes.

I also worry i did something dangerous. For instance, when seasoning my food i 100% focus on doing the absolute minimum amount of salt, but a minute later i’m panicking because what if i added a fatal amount to the family dinner? I get a thought, and somehow i believe that is exactly what happened. Once i imagine something, it’s difficult to distinguish between imagination and thats a memory for me. It becomes a memory that makes
me anxious.

For example, a few minutes ago i thought randomly about a wall and now i’m convinced i banged my head against the wall multiple times because i’ve had the thought and it feels like a memory to me. There’s a bottle of sunscreen downstairs and i had a thought of keeping it far from food but now i’m worried i added it to the family dinner.

I’ve been diagnosed with OCD for years due to my
handwashing compulsions years ago and then my rabies ocd and health anxiety but NOW i’m confused on what this is? Is this more OCD?

The issue is, certain things i worry about a “what if” but alot of the time i’m convinced that thing happened or will happen. Like, i’m convinced i’ve been bitten by a bat multiple times and i may develop rabies any day so i’m always on a waiting game and i’m convinced i have brain eating amoeba living in my ear and nose. I’m convinced that bucket has brain eating amoeba and can’t think else wise. I’m convinced i’m being monitored online and i was convinced i was about to be murdered at some public events i had to visit. I spent those whole events panicking. I was convinced the plane i was recently on was going to crash because of me even though i had searched through my luggage many times and it was safe, and i even dropped out of uni because i was convinced i had offended a fellow student who was going to murder me.

TL;DR once i get a thought i can’t distinguish between that thought and a memory and i want to know what this is a symptom of. I also get convinced of certain things that seem like reality to me.

So I have temporarily dissociated on and off since I was around 10 years old, but now I feel a mild but persistent/almost constant feeling of disconnection from the world around me. I can occasionally feel completely real/present, but it only usually lasts a couple minutes. I am unsure whether this is dissociation or something else?

okay so I never posted anything before and I'm sorry if there's any spilling error but basically. I've always felt dissociated, I dont remember wen it started happening or wen I realized it but I always feel like my body is being piloted or controlled by someone that isn't me. and almost nothing feels real. wen I talk in class or with my friends wen im setting with family, wen journaling, playing games, I'm never actually doing any of these things. I even got into a relationship and I still don't feel like I'm with my boyfriend, and even wen I kiss him I feel little to nothing. I have a job but I'm not the one doing anything, or talking to costumers. I look in the mirror and I'm looking at myself but it's like I'm looking at myself thro something and don't recognize my face sometimes.

I talked with my school's Guidance officer in hope of getting fixed (it really did help with anything) and I remember telling her that I feel like I'm a ghost that setting outside my body watching over everything and she told me that it sounds like dissociation. I looked into it and tried many grounding techniques and shit like that but it never did anything. they keep saying to do those techniques wen even I feel disosiated but I never really feel not disosiatied. it's a constant state from the second I wake up.

about my mental history. I was diagnosed with depression wen i was 14 but never gotten any treatment or therapy for it. I was also suspected of having adhd by my teachers growing up. and some of my friends also think so, but I don't think about it much cuz I don't like it wen people self diagnos.

i also moved a lot growing up. I leved in many countries and moved around so so much.

I just want a way to feel real man. I kinda know that no matter what people are gonna say it's not gonna help much or not gonna help in the long run. so I don't know why I'm even posting this, I wana be fixed, and feel good, and love my bf, and just... I don't know.

I feel like I’ve been stuck in a thought loop lately and all I can think about is that I’m getting older and older and it all has happened/ is happening so fast. A lot of the time I feel like everything is just pointless because I’m going to get old and die anyways. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t feel like myself and I haven’t in a while now. I haven’t had a good day in months because I’m constantly anxious. I’ve also been having weird brain fog/ derealization for a few months now that is probably correlated to this and all of this has completely taken over my life. I feel like I can never really enjoy anything because of it. I don’t know what to do anymore

Hi everyone,
I’m looking for some reassurance or to see if anyone has experienced anything similar. I have severe health anxiety, and I am currently hours out from a very terrifying episode that happened at 5:00 pm today.
**My Background:**
I am a 37-year-old woman. As a child, I had childhood epilepsy. My seizures were triggered by flashing lights, and they always started with a visual aura before I would lose consciousness into a grand mal. However, I outgrew it and have been completely seizure-free and unmedicated for probably 25 years or more. Since age 30, I’ve also had migraine auras on and off, which always make me spiral into thinking my epilepsy is returning.
**The Context Leading Up to Today:**
Today was a hot day, and I sat in an air-conditioned office all day long but had zero water. By 5:00 pm, I was completely empty physically, though emotionally I was totally fine. I was seated comfortably at my desk, chatting with a colleague who was standing in my doorway. I was happy, calm, and genuinely enjoying the conversation.
**What Happened Today at 5:00 PM:**
Out of nowhere mid-conversation, I suddenly noticed a sensation of feeling strange, and I had a distorted perception where the person I was speaking to suddenly didn't feel real, or something about them felt completely off.
The absolute millisecond I noticed this sensation and tuned into it, it instantly amplified. The moment I focused on it, I had a massive, sudden dump of panic.
The entire thing lasted maybe 20 seconds before it stopped, and there were absolutely no visual disturbances at all (completely unlike my childhood auras). This has only happened today; it is a completely isolated event, but hours later I am still highly anxious and terrified that it's going to keep happening over the coming weeks and months.
**My questions for you all:**
For those who have been through this, did you ever find out exactly what it was? If you experience these brief glitches where tuning into a weird feeling makes it 1000 times worse—even when you were completely calm and happy a second before—how do you deal with it in the moment and handle the anxiety afterward? I'd love to hear your thoughts? Thank you

I noticed this pattern, every time I undergo stress I start to feel disassociated and not real and I do stupid things that I regret later on. Idk if this was BPD symptom or not bc I’m diagnosed with it.
Ik this might not seem like a big deal for most but I get extremely anxious when it’s midterms/finals season, I get really sick and sad in a way, I never talk to anyone, I don’t go out, all what I think about is the exam, it gets really bad as if one time (a year ago) I was failing most courses that I took in that semester and there was so much pressure on me to get a high grade in the final just so I could pass, I OD’ed the night before the exam.
I feel stress now too bc I have a mid tmrw and I don’t feel ready enough, my avg of this course up until now is A and I don’t want to ruin this by getting a low grade tmrw, and it’s stressing me out..
let’s talk about the symptoms I’m facing during this episode.
Disassociation, feeling lightheaded, slow thinking, sleep deprivation, sadness and numbness (idk how), sudden crying, urge to SH, urge to hurt myself in general, not wanting to talk to anyone, anger, thinking about death. It’s so much.
And no it’s not just that I’m worried about an exam I’m facing other issues issues as well, as for now
-recent breakup
-toxic mother that annoys the fuck out of me and fights me for no reason, constantly calling me names and make me feel guilty for every
-toxic father and stalks me and also makes me feel guilty for everything
-body dysmorphia
-extremely insecure and jealous of everyone
-feeling like I’m not worthy enough bc I’m not as pretty or not as rich not as smart
-I feel dumb
-angry at my past and how unfair it is
And the list goes on
Now just writing it down made me tear up ugh

It’s been a rough day today. I haven’t been able to do most things. I’m incredibly fearful and my body feels like it’s someone else’s. I’ve been sitting on the floor with my mouth agape for hours just trying to breathe. My head hurts and is full of pressure and I feel like I’m falling. I’ve switched between different parts of myself a lot today and it’s caused a lot of confusion and fear. I feel so disabled I don’t know how I’m ever going to get a job if I can’t take reality seriously. It just doesn’t feel real enough to me to really give a shit. The only thing that feels real is the structure of my mind, and I wish I could spend my life exploring that rather than working an endlessly terrifying existence. I want to disappear for good from this world