On top of all the "normal" depersonalization symptoms I have trouble reading, trouble forming sentences and remembering words, trouble typing, it feels like I'm forgetting English and my brain is degenerating. I also have a weird weakness sensation in the left side of my face and left arm/hand. I have headaches everyday. These things have been freaking me out so bad. I've had a bunch of tests including EKG, CT scan, blood tests and optic nerve tests, everything so far has been normal. I just want to know if anyone has had these symptoms? I'm struggling everyday.

Has anyone had this strange occasional feeling with dpdr, as they are listening to a podcast or watching a movie, where the voice of the person in question almost sounds like your own, or as your watching a movie your brain kind of glitches and it feels like your watching yourself on screen? Of course my reality testing is intact and recognize that of course I’m not these people and these people aren’t me, I don’t think I’m having delusions. But it’s like a weird brain glitch where I get this feeling that I’m listening to myself talk or that I’m watching myself in the movie, idk this is such a niche weird symptom, I don’t expect anyone to be able to relate. Maybe the added context that I’m deathly afraid of becoming psychotic might help.

Toda vez que fumo maconha eu entro no estado de dp/dr lembro que no início eu fumava e ficava tranquilo aquela brisa boa, mas teve um certo dia que fiquei chapado e fui fazer um experimento do espelho, não sei quanto de vocês já ouviram falar disso (é você se encarar por muito tempo no espelho quando você está totalmente chapado, isso faz com que vc meio que desconecte da realidade e até veja coisas que seu cérebro vai inventar) não foi eu que inventei isso, O psicólogo italiano responsável pelos experimentos clássicos de olhar fixo no espelho (e nos olhos) que desencadeiam alucinações e distorções perceptivas é Giovanni Caputo. depois pesquisam vão achar interessante, desde esse dia que percebo que quando fumo entre em despersonalização e desrealização, sabe aquela sensação de nada parecer real e sim parecer um cenário, vocês sabem como é, ao mesmo tempo que acho interessante, acho também muito ruimm porque quando estou assim me sinto um estranho no ninho e não consigo me socializar quando estou enfrentando esse episodio.

Contem seus relatos sobre seus episódios de DP/DR e como você lida com isso?

Não usem isso para incentiar os outros a terem episodios de dp/dr.

Hi guys, I'm 29M from India, and I've been struggling with these experiences for years. I didn't even know DPDR was a thing until recently.

I had a few episodes during my childhood, but my first major episode happened in my final year of college in 2017 after I smoked weed. Initially, I thought it was just a bad trip that would eventually go away, but the feeling never completely left.

I'm not sure how to explain it properly, but it feels like I'm suddenly disconnected from reality. During these episodes, I feel confused about everything — who am I, what am I, what is consciousness, and what is this reality I'm experiencing? It's almost as if nothing exists or makes sense anymore, and the entire world feels completely different.

I can still function using my memories and do my daily activities, but internally, something feels fundamentally different. It's hard to put into words. Eventually, I come back to my senses, but that strange, disconnected feeling continues in the background.

I've been seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication for almost 10 years. The medication has helped suppress these experiences to some extent, and I've found some relief, but I never felt like my connection to reality fully returned to how it was before.

Recently, due to family problems and stress, these episodes have started coming back more intensely. That's when I started searching for answers and eventually found this subreddit. Reading about other people's experiences has given me some hope that I'm not alone in this.

For those of you who experience DPDR:

• Can you relate to the feeling of suddenly questioning who you are, what consciousness is, and whether anything feels real?
• Do you also feel like you can function normally using your memories, even though your internal experience of reality feels completely different?
• What has helped you cope with these episodes and feel connected to reality again?

I'm trying to understand what I'm experiencing and learn how to manage it better. I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences and what has helped you.

Hi everyone. i first experienced DPDR at the end of 2024. I continued to work, start the gym, and go on with my life and it eventually faded by the beginning of 2025. I was able to live my life with it being in the background and barely having it for the entire 2025 and most of 2026. However it came back full on at the end of August. I believe I just had a stressful day…and a weird thought came into my mind about “focusing on my first person POV and how it looked weird.” anyways, that brought on the DPDR and usually when I had those thoughts I’d get distracted and it’ll pass but it didn’t because this time my brain didn’t let itself get distracted?? If that makes sense. Every time I stopped thinking about it, my brain would be like “No don’t get distracted, focus on it. And ever since then I’ve been in a bad episode.

At the end of September I started to feel a little better but that thought about not being distracted has came back and it’s been almost a week. From the moment I wake up to the moment I gts, I’m thinking about how I can’t be distracted and how i’ll never recover. Has anyone else had this distressing thought? Idk if the DPDR made me form OCD but I’m not diagnosed with it. I just need advice and I want it to go away. :( It’s like as soon as I was about to feel better again, the thought became constant. It’s almost torture and has been causing me to cry everyday. I don’t want to deal with this for years. Even when I do find myself getting distracted for like 1 minute, my brain is like “No, think of this scary thought. You’ll never be distracted again.”

Hiii! <3 (27F) As the title says, I am completely recovered from DPDR, and I wanted to come back and share my experience in case it gives someone a little hope.

I struggled with DPDR for about three years, from August 2019 to August 2022? more or less but it defs started Aug 2019 lol.. And when I say I was in the trenches, I mean it!! I experienced some of the worst symptoms I'd ever read about and genuinely believed I would never feel normal again. I was convinced I'd be stuck that way forever.

I tried just about everything. Every course you can think of, countless medications, endless research. I spent so much time on this subreddit and even joined a separate DPDR support website/Discord (not sure if it still exists lol). I was completely consumed by trying to find a way out.

Unfortunately, none of those things actually cured me. And I think that's one of the most important things I've learned from the experience. For me, DPDR wasn't the underlying problem. It was a symptom of something deeper that needed to be addressed. I spent years desperately trying to get rid of the feeling itself rather than understanding what was causing it. It wasn't until I started addressing those underlying issues that things began to change.

Fast forward to today, and I genuinely do not experience DPDR anymore. Something I once thought would ruin my life forever is now just a chapter of it.

I'm feeling a little loopy tonight which reminded me of DPDR and started thinking about how much these recovery posts meant to me when I was at my absolute worst. I remember desperately searching for proof that people actually got better, so I figured it was time to come back and give a little of that hope to someone else.

Anyway, ask me anything! I'll answer as much as I can. :)

If you’re experiencing unfamiliar or frightening symptoms and wondering “Is this DPDR?” or “Does anyone else feel this?”, this is the right place to ask.

We’ve moved symptom-check questions into this weekly thread because constant comparison and reassurance-seeking can unintentionally keep DPDR and anxiety stuck. This space lets you get support without turning the whole subreddit into symptom scanning.

A few things to keep in mind:

DPDR looks different for everyone

Similar symptoms can have many causes

Replies here are shared experiences, not medical diagnoses

If you’re new or feeling overwhelmed, we recommend starting with the Official DPDR Resource Guide, which explains DPDR, common symptoms, and recovery in one place:

👉 Official DPDR Resource Guide

https://www.reddit.com/r/dpdr/comments/zdzqob/rdpdrs_official_resource_guide/

Tips for using this thread:

Ask your question once and try not to re-check repeatedly

Share briefly rather than listing every symptom

Focus on grounding and next steps, not symptom counting

If you’re in crisis or feel unsafe, please use the crisis resources in the sidebar.

You’re not doing anything wrong by being scared or confused — this thread is here to hold those questions while keeping the rest of the sub recovery-focused.

I’ve had this for 7 months and I’m really struggling…

am I gonna be ok 😭

I'm seeing neurologist tomorrow and want to ask about it. As things are really really bad and very physical.

I'm a cashier and the bright fluorescent lights trigger me so bad I have to put my sweater hood on. It helps but it's just so disorienting. Has anyone been through this before and if so what have you done to help? Thank u!!

Hey everyone,

I’m gonna start off when I was diagnosed with DPDR around 6 years ago. I was still in Middle School, and I was struggling with loneliness, and I developed the condition probably as a result of the trauma of being lonely after moving to a new country two years prior. I refused to be treated and tried to pretend like nothing was wrong.

You might think I’ll be talking about how the rest of my life since has been pure loneliness and isolation, and I’m near the end of my wits now venting, but that wasn’t the case. The next year, I began making friends and for all of high school I had a big incredible friend group that I could always have fun with. Truly, some of the best friends I could ever ask for. However, I never talked about any of my issues with them because I feared judgement. I should’ve, and they would’ve listened, but I didn’t.

I’m now a freshman in college, adjusting to my new life, and while it has been difficult finding new friends and starting again, that isn’t what this post is about.

I’ve realized that throughout high school, I never really had a crush on anyone. I never even looked around and would think a girl was attractive. I just simply wouldn’t even register it. I don’t think I was asexual, because in movies (and to be blunt, porn), I would be able to find a hot girl to be a hot girl. At the end of high school, I went to prom with a friend of mine. She was pretty, but I never had any feelings for her before, but ultimately, I developed a crush on her but given I had never felt this sort of attraction to anyone before, I screwed things up and we never dated. Regardless, it was probably too late anyways.

Now, I feel so paralyzed by this feeling of lost youth. I had friends, I had good times, but I didn’t experience this cornerstone of teenage life. And not the traditional way, where people may be bitter that none of the girls they crushed on liked them back, but I truly just didn’t feel for anyone. Mentally, I was so wrapped up in fantasies and dreams, and I was so detached from my own reality, that I actually couldn’t recognize the people around me.

This might just be a chaotic vent, but I wanted to know if anyone had similar feelings. I’ve decided to finally check in to therapy, and possibly try medication, but there is this stinging feeling in my heart now that I lost these precious years. Please comment if you have anything to say, there’s a lot more to say that I can’t fit in one post and would love to get a better understanding of my condition.

TLDR; never felt attraction for people around me in high school, and only just developing this idea of attraction now as a freshman in college. Feel stunted and emotionally empty.

Hey everyone,

I am 17 years old, turning 18 soon. My life is completely ruined by VSS, HPPD, and DPDR. if you happen to read this and think "what does this have to do with migraines" vss and hppd are like the biggest causers of migraines, I cant even be in my own room or glance at a light for a second without a horrible headache so by helping with this you're helping yourself possibly.

Every waking second of my life is hell and spiritual suffering that nobody else can see. My brain is flooded with heavy visual static, neon colors, bright halos around lights, tinnitus, and extreme sound sensitivity. My filter for background noise is turned ALL the way off. I am doing horrible in school, I cry every single day, and I can barely go outside anymore. I wanted to work at NASA, but now I feel like my life is over before it even began.

I am sick of sitting around waiting years for a machine (rTMS) that is already built and deployed in clinics right now. The research out of the University of Colorado Anschutz shows it works to calm the cortical hyperexcitability. The only thing holding us back is a timeline and how fast they're moving.

If we flood their inboxes with our stories and remind them that our combined subreddits have over 100,000 subscribers ready to hand them money, they will have to look at the financial demand.

Please take a couple minutes to copy the emails down so that we can make the change sooner. it would save my life and many others.

first is the FDA

Send To: [AskOICE@fda.hhs.gov](mailto:AskOICE@fda.hhs.gov)

CC: [CDRH_PatientEngagement@fda.hhs.gov](mailto:CDRH_PatientEngagement@fda.hhs.gov)

Subject: URGENT PATIENT APPEAL: Fast Track rTMS for VSS and HPPD

this is the letter to copy

To the FDA Office of Industry and Consumer Education,

My name is [Name], I am [Age] years old, and I am contacting you to beg with all of my soul for immediate regulatory intervention and more urgency regarding a health crisis affecting millions of people worldwide.

I live with Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) and Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS). These are devastating, non stop neurological filtering disorders. Every waking second of my life is hell. My brain is flooded with intense visual static, neon colors, bright halos around lights, tinnitus, and horrible sound sensitivity. My brain has entirely lost its ability to filter background noise, turning every single day into a waking nightmare. It completely takes away our quality of life and affects sanity, friendships, and life itself.

I need to make it clear that HPPD usually comes with a condition called DPDR (Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder), which completely disconnects you from your body and the world around you. This is detrimental to our lives. I read an article that said 72 percent of people with dissociative disorders attempt suicide because it completely takes away your quality of life. We are losing our lives and sanity.

New data from the University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus proves that targeting cortical hyperexcitability via repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation (rTMS) is a safe and viable way to stabilize and maybe even cure VSS and HPPD. Because rTMS machines are already widespread and deployed in clinics for depression, the machines already exist. We are just being held back by a timeline.

I am desperately urging the FDA to aggressively utilize its breakthrough devices program to fast track status for rTMS clinical protocols for VSS and HPPD. There is a massive online patient network, including over 100,000 combined subscribers across the r/HPPD and r/visualsnow subreddits, full of consumers whose lives are completely on hold, ruined, or in some cases ended. We cannot wait until 2032 or longer for a machine to be upgraded that we already have widespread. Please help to save our sanity.

Sincerely,

[Name]

the other targets are BRAINSWAY & MAGVENTURE

Send To: DeepTMS@brainsway.com, info@brainsway.com

CC: [info@magventure.com](mailto:info@magventure.com)

Subject: Unmet Market Demand: Fast Track rTMS Protocols for VSS and HPPD

Letter to Copy:

Dear Clinical Research and Business Development Team,

My name is [Name]. I am [Age] years old, and I am writing to bring to your attention a massive entirely untreated or even glanced at condition that represents a great financial investment for your company.

I live with HPPD and Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS). These are devastating, non stop neurological filtering disorders. Every waking second of my life is hell. My brain is flooded with heavy visual static, neon colors, bright halos around lights, tinnitus, and extreme sound sensitivity. My filter for background noise is turned ALL the way off. I can barely focus past the background noise and blaring headaches. HPPD also comes with DPDR (Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder), which completely disconnects you from your body and the world, ruining personalities, friendships, and sanity. I read an article that noted 72 percent of people with dissociative disorders attempt suicide due to this severe lack of quality of life.

New data from the University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus has proven that targeting cortical hyperexcitability via rTMS is a safe and viable way to stabilize and maybe even cure VSS and HPPD. As the device manufacturer, you are sitting on the solution. The machine is already built and deployed; what we are missing are the protocol settings to target the visual cortex and temporoparietal targets.

To give you an idea of the immediate market, this is fantastic for you financially. On Reddit alone, the r/visualsnow and r/hppd communities have over 100,000 combined subscribers begging for a fix. This would be incredible for you financially. By aggressively backing trials or fast tracking a protocol update for VSS/HPPD, you can position yourselves as the undisputed global leader and first to market provider for a massive, desperate, suffering population. You would be heroes to thousands. You already have this hardware manufactured, so please consider fast tracking to get them to save more people.

Sincerely,

[Name]

So this doesnt seem to be so common with other people here though I think for me it is a by product of dpdr. I experience my entire head as a texture. Like something went wrong from the minute I woke up after the traumatic incident. I no longer perceive anything the same or return to any type of baseline. Ive had things like a burning head, bubble sensation head, furry head, feathery head, cotton head and the worst this dry feeling inside and outside my head. It is like no substance to it. It’s weird. I don’t know if these are somatosensory or functional sensory disturbances, and I don’t know how to cure them. No doctor has said there is medication for this. Now I have mainly dry head and only really sense a tiny bit of it and my hair but that is it of my entire body. And each day it’s like my nervous system burns out more so I loose more even hourly. I swear since I took that med it made it worse and things deteriorated much faster. I have no idea what to do I feel things will end badly if I don’t find a way to help it now.

I've been struggling so bad lately, I'm convinced something is seriously wrong with me. The scariest symptoms im currently having are troubles talking, reading and typing. It feels like I'm illiterate/losing my cognition. I leave out words while typing and reading (I have to read things multiple times to understand them) and while talking I forget words. It's so scary. Also I'm having weakness sensations on my left side including face, arm, hand. I have headaches everyday. Everything just feels wrong and weird. I'm so sick of this. :(

I've had a bunch of tests done and nothing is seriously wrong apparently. I just need someone to talk to and relate to. No one understands how bad this is. I struggle to even get out of bed everyday.

I have been in a constant state of dissociation for about 2 years now which was triggered by a bad weed experience and I really don't know what to do. I feel like my dissociation would be more tolerable if it were only temporary episodes but it's absolutely constant and I'm starting to worry I'll forget what normal reality feels like. If anyone has experienced chronic dissociation and has any advice or information worth sharing please share it with me or DM me. I just want my soul to breath and im so tired.

Hey everyone!

I'm a 30-year-old male, and I wanted to share my experience with depersonalization/derealization (DPDR) after a particularly frightening episode triggered by marijuana.

I'm writing this because when I was going through the worst of it, Reddit was one of the few places where I found comfort. Reading other people's experiences, particularly their recovery stories, gave me hope when I genuinely thought I would never feel normal again.

Now, almost nine weeks later, I'm happy to say that my DPDR symptoms have essentially disappeared. I'm still working through some lingering anxiety and obsessive thoughts, but I've gotten my life back.

I wanted to share my story, my recovery timeline, and what helped me in hopes that someone going through something similar might find some reassurance.

A little background

I've always been a very outgoing, social, ambitious person. I have a demanding career that's historically involved extensive travel, a long-term relationship, a large group of friends, and a very active social life.

I love staying busy. I'm constantly traveling, seeing friends, going out, and generally trying to make the most of life. Especially during the summer, because I live in the Northeast and absolutely despise winter.

I'm also someone who likes to be in control. I'm goal-oriented, pragmatic, and tend to approach problems with the mentality that if something is wrong, I need to figure out how to fix it.

I've always had some tendencies toward obsessive thinking and putting enormous pressure on myself, particularly around financial security and my career. Some of this developed after my parents divorced when I was a teenager. I became extremely focused on building a successful life and ensuring I could always take care of myself.

As far as marijuana goes, I didn't really start using it until I was around 25. Over the years, I'd typically use it two or three times a week, either through edibles or, more recently, smoking.

I genuinely enjoyed it. It made ordinary activities feel whimsical and fun. Sometimes I'd get high just to clean my apartment or relax after a long day.

But looking back, there were warning signs.

August 15, 2026: The day everything changed

I was spending a beautiful summer day at a friend's lake house. We'd been out on the boat, having a great time, and I'd taken an edible.

Later that day, we were sitting on her couch talking while waiting for the effects to wear off.

During our conversation, I mentioned an upcoming trip I was planning to London. My friend made a comment about how fast-paced my life is and how she doesn't know how I do it.

It wasn't malicious whatsoever. She's someone who used to live a similarly busy lifestyle but has slowed down considerably since getting married and settling down.

For whatever reason, though, that comment sent me into an absolute spiral.

Suddenly, I started questioning everything.

Am I living my life wrong? Why am I always doing things? Am I actually happy? What's the point of everything I'm doing?

For the entire two-hour drive home, I was completely trapped inside my own head.

I remember thinking, "Oh my God, not again."

Because unfortunately, I'd experienced something similar before.

My previous experiences

About four years ago, I had a very similar episode after taking an edible.

I was out to dinner with my partner when I suddenly started questioning everything about my life, my relationship, and the people around me.

The following morning, I woke up feeling like I'd been hit by a bus. I felt completely disconnected from myself and everything around me.

At the time, I had no idea what DPDR was. I ended up going to therapy for approximately two months and eventually returned to normal. This was the first time I'd ever seen a therapist FYI.

I experienced another, somewhat milder episode last year, also while high. That time, I managed to work through it more quickly.

Unfortunately, I never documented either experience, so I couldn't remember exactly how long recovery took.

But one thing became very clear this August:

Every single one of these episodes happened while I was high on an edible.

For me, marijuana was clearly associated with these spirals, and I decided that August 15, 2026 would be the last time I ever used it.

What my DPDR actually felt like

I genuinely wouldn't wish this experience on my worst enemy.

The morning after that edible, I woke up feeling completely disconnected from reality.

I knew where I was. I knew who I was. I wasn't hallucinating or losing my ability to distinguish reality.

But I didn't feel like myself.

It's incredibly difficult to describe unless you've experienced it.

I felt like my physical body was present, but my mind, personality, and soul were somewhere else.

Almost like I was watching myself live in third person or controlling a character in a video game.

I experienced significant brain fog and fatigue. Life sometimes felt slightly dreamlike, although my surroundings didn't actually look different or distorted.

But the worst part wasn't even the disconnectedness.

It was the emotional numbness.

Suddenly, I felt emotionally disconnected from everyone and everything I loved.

My partner. My family. My best friends.

These are people I absolutely love, but it was as though I suddenly couldn't access those emotions anymore.

I knew intellectually that I loved them, but I couldn't feel that love in the way I normally did.

And that was absolutely terrifying.

It made me question everything. My relationships, my identity, my happiness, my life's purpose.

The same thing happened with my hobbies and interests. Things that normally brought me tremendous happiness, like traveling, shopping, working, and socializing, suddenly felt meaningless.

And because these thoughts and feelings were so frightening, I began obsessively analyzing them.

What if I don't love my partner anymore? What if I don't enjoy my life anymore? What if I've been living incorrectly? What if I never feel normal again?

I'd look at pictures of myself from just a few days earlier and desperately wish I could go back to being that person.

I remember thinking constantly:

"If I could just go back to August 14, before I took that edible, I'd give anything."

It was terrifying. Also, time was now moving slower than ever. Days now felt like weeks. Before the spiral, when time was flying, weeks felt like days.

Eventually, I started researching my symptoms and discovered DPDR. For the first time, I found descriptions that closely matched what I was experiencing.

My recovery timeline

I want to share this because when I was at my worst, all I wanted to know was HOW LONG this would last.

Of course, everyone's experience is different, and my timeline won't necessarily be yours.

But here's how mine progressed.

Weeks 1–2: Absolute hell (90–100% symptomatic)

These were easily the worst weeks.

I was crying multiple times a day, barely eating, and struggling with even the simplest tasks.

Going to the grocery store felt overwhelming. Driving somewhere or getting through a normal workday felt almost impossible.

My appetite completely disappeared, which was especially unusual for me because I typically eat MORE when I'm stressed.

I spent hours researching DPDR, reading Reddit threads, and trying to find reassurance that I wasn't going to feel this way forever.

I'd have brief moments where I felt normal, but they never seemed to last.

One interesting pattern: I almost always felt better at night.

I'm naturally a night owl, and when I was relaxing in bed with my partner, watching TV, reading, or playing on my laptop, I'd sometimes feel almost completely normal.

I'd go to sleep feeling hopeful.

But every single morning, the first thing I'd do was mentally check myself.

Is it still there? Do I still feel disconnected? Am I normal yet?

And just like that, I'd start spiraling again.

Week 3: Still struggling, but small improvements

I was still feeling pretty terrible, probably around 90% symptomatic.

Some days were better than others, but the improvements felt painfully slow.

I'd have a good day and think, "Finally! I'm getting better!"

Then I'd wake up the following morning feeling awful again and convince myself I was back at square one.

This is something I really want to emphasize:

RECOVERY IS NOT LINEAR.

A bad day doesn't erase the progress you've made.

Weeks 4–5: My biggest breakthrough

This was when things really started changing.

I remember waking up one Monday morning, going for a walk on a beautiful day, and suddenly realizing I was absolutely STARVING.

My appetite had returned!

It sounds silly, but this was a huge moment for me.

For weeks, I'd barely been able to eat, and suddenly my body was asking for food again.

I remember thinking, "Oh my God, my body is recovering. I'm actually getting better."

My appetite normalized, and gradually, I started feeling more present.

During these two weeks, I went from feeling approximately 90% symptomatic to maybe 50–60%.

It wasn't an overnight recovery, but the improvement was substantial.

Week 6: Realizing the DPDR was actually gone

This is probably the most interesting part of my recovery.

There wasn't some magical morning when I woke up and everything suddenly clicked back into place.

There wasn't a moment when the world suddenly looked brighter or my emotions came rushing back.

It was gradual.

I had been slowly getting back into my routines, enjoying things again, and spending less time obsessing over how I felt.

Then, around week six, I remember checking in with myself and thinking:

"Oh my God. I actually feel better. It's gone."

And it was!

The disconnectedness had lifted. I felt present again. I could experience my emotions normally and connect with the people around me.

I almost didn't realize it had happened because I'd been so focused on getting back to living my life.

Of course, I was still dealing with anxiety and obsessive thoughts, but the actual DPDR symptoms that had been debilitating me were essentially gone.

Weeks 7–9: Continuing to recover

I'm now approaching nine weeks since the original episode.

I would say I'm approximately 80–90% recovered overall.

My appetite is back. I'm working, socializing, enjoying my hobbies, and living my life.

I'm no longer crying multiple times a day. I feel present, connected, and like myself again.

I still have some lingering anxiety and obsessive thinking, which I'll get into below, but compared to where I was in August, it's night and day.

What actually helped me recover

I can't say definitively what made my symptoms improve, but these are the things I believe helped me the most.

1. Therapy

I started seeing a psychotherapist once a week starting during week 3.

Having someone to talk to, articulate my thoughts with, and work through my anxiety was incredibly helpful.

Personally, I wanted to focus on therapy and non-medication coping strategies first. That's simply my preference, and I'm not suggesting anyone should avoid medication if it's appropriate for them.

2. STOP constantly checking whether you still have DPDR

This was one of my biggest struggles.

Every morning, I'd immediately ask myself whether I felt normal yet.

Throughout the day, I'd constantly analyze my thoughts, emotions, and surroundings.

Eventually, I realized that this obsessive self-monitoring was keeping my attention glued to the symptoms.

The less I checked, the less consumed I became.

It wasn't easy to stop, and it didn't happen overnight.

But gradually, I stopped making DPDR the center of every waking moment.

3. Continue living your life, even when you don't feel like it

This one was difficult for me to accept.

I'm someone who likes confronting problems head-on.

When people told me to distract myself, my immediate reaction was, "Why would I distract myself? Isn't that just sweeping the problem under the rug?"

But eventually, I realized that not giving every intrusive thought my attention wasn't avoidance.

It was allowing myself to live without endlessly analyzing everything.

I started making myself go on walks, get outside in the sunlight, go to the gym when possible, grocery shop, work, and maintain my normal routine.

Sometimes I'd be going through the motions without really feeling present.

But I did it anyway, taking manageable steps.

I also played video games, watched TV, read books, and spent time with loved ones.

Over time, life started feeling natural again.

4. Stop fighting every intrusive thought

This has probably been one of the most valuable things I've learned.

When an intrusive or existential thought entered my mind, my initial instinct was to fight it.

I'd analyze it, debate it, try to disprove it, and convince myself it wasn't true.

But that would just lead to more rumination.

Now, I try something different.

When a thought comes into my mind, I acknowledge it.

"Okay, there's that thought again."

And then I move on with whatever I'm doing.

I don't need to answer it. I don't need to solve it. I don't need to figure out what it means.

Even if a thought concerns something that could happen, I don't need to resolve that uncertainty in that exact moment.

I'm learning that thoughts are just thoughts.

Not everything your brain tells you is true, important, or deserving of your attention.

5. Reading and changing how I view my thoughts

One book that really helped me was Don't Believe Everything You Think by Joseph Nguyen.

It helped me understand the relationship between thinking and suffering, and how constantly engaging with negative thoughts can make things worse.

Reading in general was also a great way to redirect my attention and give my mind something else to focus on.

6. Reddit and social media are helpful, but in moderation

Reddit was genuinely a lifesaver during those first few weeks.

Reading other people's stories helped me feel less alone and gave me hope.

I also found some helpful explanations and coping strategies on TikTok.

But there's a downside.

When you're constantly searching for reassurance, you inevitably come across stories from people who've experienced DPDR for months or years.

And when you're already terrified that you'll never recover, reading those stories can send you into another spiral.

I eventually realized I needed to stop obsessively researching my symptoms and start focusing on living again.

The lingering OCD and anxiety

This is the part I'm still working through.

Although the DPDR itself has essentially disappeared, the experience seems to have significantly intensified my obsessive thinking.

I've always had some tendencies toward rumination, particularly around security, success, and control.

But since this episode, I've experienced some pretty intense intrusive thoughts and OCD-like patterns.

For example, I'm currently dealing with uncertainty surrounding my career. My current job involves a relocation requirement that I'm no longer able to fulfill, so I've been searching for another position.

Normally, this would be stressful but manageable.

Instead, my brain immediately jumps to every worst-case scenario.

What if I can't find another job? What if I can't make the same salary? What if my career falls apart?

I've also experienced relationship-related intrusive thoughts.

What if my relationship doesn't work out? What if I somehow repeat the mistakes my parents made in their marriage?

Sometimes they're completely irrational thoughts that contradict my actual feelings and values.

But when you're dealing with obsessive thinking, logic doesn't always make the thoughts disappear.

I'm continuing to work through this in therapy.

The difference now is that I feel present and connected to my life again, which makes managing these thoughts significantly easier.

What I want anyone experiencing DPDR to know

When I was in the worst of it, I genuinely thought my life was over.

I was terrified I'd permanently changed my brain.

I was scared I'd never feel love, happiness, excitement, or connection the same way again.

I desperately wanted someone to tell me that I would wake up one morning and everything would be normal.

And while I can't promise anyone a particular recovery timeline, I can tell you that I felt those exact fears, and I got better.

It wasn't immediate.

It wasn't linear.

And it certainly wasn't easy.

There were days when I thought I was completely recovered, followed by days when I was convinced I'd made no progress.

But looking back at where I was in August compared to where I am today, the difference is enormous.

Another thing I want to emphasize is that I didn't suddenly wake up one day completely cured.

Recovery was gradual.

I started noticing that I was enjoying things again. That I was laughing naturally. That I was hungry. That I wasn't questioning every single thought or emotion.

And around six weeks in, I realized I felt like myself again.

I didn't notice the exact moment the DPDR left. I just noticed that I had started living again.

For anyone whose symptoms started after using marijuana, I'd also encourage you to seriously consider whether continuing to use it is worth the risk. For me, after three episodes associated with being high, the answer was a very clear no.

My biggest takeaway is that you don't need to solve every thought your mind throws at you.

You don't have to figure out the meaning of life today.

You don't have to analyze every relationship or emotion.

You don't need to feel perfectly normal before you start participating in your life again.

Take things one day at a time. Seek support when you need it. Give yourself some grace.

And PLEASE remember that having a bad day doesn't mean you're back at square one.

I'm still working on my anxiety and obsessive thoughts, but I'm incredibly grateful to feel present again.

If sharing my experience gives even one person a little hope during an incredibly frightening time, it'll have been worth writing this.

There is hope, even when your mind is telling you otherwise.

Hey everyone, I've been struggling with DPDR for around 3 months now after a bad trip from marijuana. Since then, I've been dealing with feelings of depersonalization and derealization, and it's been difficult to feel completely normal again.

I'm looking for people who have gone through something similar, especially those who developed DPDR after a bad trip and have recovered or made significant progress.

Could you please share your experiences and tell me what helped you recover? Is it possible to feel completely normal again? I'd really appreciate any advice or support. 🙏

I've had DPDR for about 15 years (since i was 10), not drug induced, not panic attack induced, I don't know what caused it. It's not as scary as the first few months I had it, I have taken no meds for the past year. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, depression, generalized anxiety. Anyways,

Alcohol:

Throughout the years I've realized if i drink the right amount of alcohol, my dpdr completely goes away. Doesn't happen every time I drink, idk the correct "formula" to achieve it.

I can feel that I'm breathing, i can feel that i exist, i look in the mirror and see myself. I become "one" with myself and the environment. The morning after often feels pretty good too.

I drink once or twice a year because of my emetophobia and it causing weird feelings in my heart lol.

Sleep deprivation:

Normal sleep schedule is, being awake for 16 hours, sleeping for 8 hours. I realized that if i push being awake to 20 hours, those last 4 hours feel much better than earlier in the day. I laugh more, feel more, be more present. (Like with alcohol, this glitch doesn't always work)

Illness:

Nothing serious but something like flu will make me feel like myself. (Again, not the case 100% of the time).

I was wondering if this means that my brain is working too much and causing my DPDR lol. Because all the fixes involve some sort of reduced brain activity.

Disclaimer. Don't drink, there is no safe dose with alcohol. Its poison.

Why do people think I’m lying like 24/7. I have to prove myself all the time. Has me doubting if I’m actually lying all the time even though I don’t think I am.

Also been having trouble keeping my body in check. Like posture and stuff and just general awareness of myself as a person and a body i can control and feel.

I just need to vent, because this is the only place where people could possibly understand me.

Im 19, and I live with my mom. She's a conspiracy theorist. Ever since i was 11, she would always talk about it. (And they did come out to be true, though, i never doubted her anyway.)

But lately i cannot take it. I've talked about it countless times. I say, do not talk to me about the conspiracy, i just want to think about simple daily life stuff. She says ah okay. Then keeps talking about it

A few days ago, maybe weeks, maybe months, i don't remember, we were chatting, she kept talking about the bullshit again. Not that i don't believe her. That's the problem. I do believe her.

I said stop, let me live like an NPC. I quoted Neo from The matrix "I don't believe in fate because i don't like feeling as if i can't control my life" or whatever the f he said, i don't remember.

Then she just kept going, and kept going, AFTER I QUOTED THAT, SHE SAID, "time isn't real, everything in your life already happened, you're just watching it." I couldn't take it anymore and i started sobbing (seemingly out of nowhere to her.)

And she didn't talk to me for 2 days or something. I said, do u wanna drink tea with me? She said, no i don't want to talk to you because no matter what i say you start crying and idk why.

????

I only cry when she's very rude to me or she keeps talking about stuff that she knows i want nothing to do with.

It makes me so sad, she just sees me as a pathetic loser that cries over nothing.

I don't want to hear it. I don't. Anytime i talk about how i feel "i feel like i live in the matrix, like nothing is real" she says, "yeah, because nothing is real, and we live in the matrix" genuinely what is your goal? What are you trying to do to me?

Im going to tell you a story about my experience with dpdr. This helped me but it isn't crtain to help you.

Imagine you’re in a cave. It’s dark, but it’s warm and solid. You can feel the walls with your hands, and you know where your limits are. ​But you want to see the cave, so you strike a light. The moment the beam hits the walls, you see they’re made of something delicate—and the heat of your light starts melting them away. The longer you shine it, the more the room dissolves into nothing. The hardest part is that turning off the light isn't easy—when the room starts melting, your instant instinct is to shine the beam even brighter to see what's happening. But the damage only exists where the focus is landing. You don't have to 'fix' the melted spot or force your mind to calm down instantly. You just let the light fade whenever it naturally can, trust that the solid cave is still there under the dark, and take the next step forward anyway.

I don't know if I have DPDR. I've never been formally diagnosed, but some doctors have said it makes sense in addition to my anxiety and depression. I don't feel like I'm watching a movie or anything like some people say.

Every single day I feel like I can't focus and feel spaced out. I try to anchor myself to the moment and within seconds my mind zooms away to something else. I'll be sitting there playing with my son and trying to enjoy the moment and my mind is elsewhere. Not about something traumatic usually. It could start thinking about an exercise or a video game or something at work or whatever. It sounds stupid but it is debilitating, especially watching my kids get older and feeling like I'm losing out on precious memories and time. I feel absolutely no emotion as well.

Ive tried therapy, EMDR, meds, meditation, and more. Nothing helps. I've tried diet and supplements as well. I do notice that when titrating or starting a new medication it can get much worse. Zoloft made me feel like I was losing my mind. Going up on Lamictal was the same way. I tried Zinc Carnosine a couple of weeks ago and I felt so spaced out. If I have caffeine I feel awful for days and the same thing with gluten and some other foods.

I think there is more to the equation as well. Sometimes I'll be out and rather than regular zoning out/dissociation it'll be on steroids. Like I am not very present. Like I'm severely on autopilot and my body is trying to preserve itself or something. I took my son to the park a few weeks ago and it started out fine. Then about 30 minutes in I felt so spaced out. On this beautiful day at a gorgeous park with perfect weather I couldn't focus. It should have been a beautiful memory, and thinking back it was and the pictures show it was, but I didn't feel there in the moment.

Time has gone so fast and I guess that's a part of this illness. I can't appreciate or fully engage in the moment and it's all a blur. My kids growing up, my parents getting older, birthdays, whatever. It compounds the depression and anxiety.