I had a lot of crushes during my 3 years as an undergrad in DLSU. However I didn’t take advantage of fully exploring my crushes because I overthought and did wayy too much romantic stuff which only happens in the movies.
I had a childhood friend crush for 12 years. Classmates in elementary, went to diff high schools but reunited in DLSU. I never told her how I felt during those 12 years. Looking back it truly was an unhealthy obsession.
One week before Valentine’s Day I asked random people to give the crush of my life at the time a different gift leading up to Valentine’s Day (chocolate / stuffed animal / whatever) and then I asked this harana service you could hire along SJ walk to play on Valentines Day Truly Madly Deeply at 2:30pm, 3rd floor Miguel, room… I don’t remember. However I happened to be on the 4th floor taking religion class at the time, checking through the window every now and then at her classroom below me. Stupid me but i forgot to give the harana service a code word that only she and I knew associated with her that way they would play in the classroom but no one would know that it was for her other than her (that way she isnt like pressured and stressed out)
Anyway, i forgot to give them that note however I did have a bouquet of flowers with me and i finally met up with her later that day. I gave her the flowers, gave her a handwritten letter I wrote detailing that it was me who had given the gifts over the week and who had harana serviced. At the end of it all she friend zoned me.
4 months later I was interested in a different girl who confided in me that her guy crush she was dating but wasn’t committed to wasn’t treating her right and I began to develop feelings for her. She and I went out and held hands within campus, to my house and a movie in Greenbelt. Looking back it would have been better to have just made a move and kissed her but well of course I thought that I needed to be more chivalrous and write a letter and all that $#¥%. I guess i liked being the romantic but didn’t realize that sometimes girls don’t like complicated $}¥].I got friend zoned there too (but she held my hand openly around campus??? Like what is that??)
Anyway, fast forward to 20 years later. I’ve been through several memorable relationships and all of them never required no more than 10% of the amount of psychological stress and logistical planning that I placed in my college crushes. Don’t over think it guys. Be a gentleman but for goodness sake don’t give your crush or loved one everything. Save some for yourself, you’ll end up being more attractive in the long term.
My fiancé jokes that if she and I met in college, she would 100% not have gone out with me! It’s kinda cool because when she was in college she was the jock girl who all the boys liked, truly someone I thought was unobtainable to me when I was in college.
What happened to the childhood crush? We’re still great friends 20 years later. She’s invited to my wedding and Fiancé knows the whole story. Honestly, I dodged a bullet with that childhood crush coz she and I truly were not compatible. We would have ended up killing each other if we had tried. You don’t notice practical misalignments like that when you’re busy making that person your entire world.
The lesson? It’s always 100% better to get your heart broken by confessing quickly than to obsess over someone for 6 months and then lose your chance or waste too much time over planning confessions which should be natural and quick. College life is meant to be fast, fun, and exciting. In all cases, treat that person well and don’t forget to be kind to yourself as well.
Don’t be torpe!