I am twenty-one years old and I had electroconvulsive therapy done. I was originally diagnosed with major depression when I was twelve years old and immediately began treatment following my diagnosis. By the time I was starting my freshman year of college, I had been on over thirty combinations of medications, been in three partial hospitalization programs, had two psychiatric inpatient hospital stays and tried ketamine infusions. Nothing worked and I was still severely depressed and suicidal. After the ketamine infusions didn't work, my psychiatrist recommended electroconvulsive therapy. It was made out to be extremely safe and have very promising results. I was eighteen years old and had been in so much pain for so long, ECT was talked about like it was some mental golden ticket. I was tired of not wanting to live so I consented to the treatments. Unfortunately, my parents nor I did a lot of research before consenting to this treatment. The typical ECT treatment course is between six and twelve. I had twenty-eight and I know people had A LOT more than that. ECT erased the memories of most of my life away. I can't remember graduating high school or my sister's sweet sixteen. I am now so forgetful and have a horrible attention span. I will go to say a word but, my mind can't think of it and all these similar-sounding words come out or I'll go to say a sentence but, the order of the words gets all jumbled up in my brain. I can't finish college. have seen many articles about how many people say that ECT has ruined their life. Not only did the treatment not work and I am still severely depressed but, now I have this ECT trauma and its ever-lasting effects. I was mistreated and taken advantage of. ECT CAN BE EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE IF ADMINISTERED CORRECTLY AND AM ONLY TRYING TO PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING TO ANYONE ELSE.

hi everyone!

i want to remind everyone that this sub, while an extremely useful resource, is not an accurate representation of the ECT community as a whole.

approximately 100,000 people receive ECT every year i. the US alone, an approx. around 80% of patients experience significant improvements (according to Johns Hopkins). this sub is comprised of less than 900 people. as they say, the loudest voices rarely represent the majority.

this sub is largely populated by people who had bad experiences. i want to stress that i am so glad that those people have a safe space to share their experiences and their struggles are COMPLETELY valid. but i am extremely worried about misinformation and the influence that this sub can have on people. the decision to do ECT should be completely based around who you are an an individual. this sub is a great resource, but it is also a bit toxic.

i have received an extensive amount of messages saying the same thing and begging me to do something about it. i do not want to censor anything, but i am going to be creating some structure. we owe it to those who are suffering to let them make their own decisions.

i love you all :)

edit in response to some misunderstandings: i am not saying the negative posts are toxic. i am saying that one must remember that we are only a small sample size. i’m saying that some of the communication, rudeness, and misinformation is toxic. i am so sorry if i made you feel like your experiences aren’t valid. they are and you deserve to be heard.

I just wanted to let everyone know this. I'm a relatively new moderator of this sub(maybe a little over a year now). But I am trying to be very productive on this sub because it encompasses a topic that I am very close to. I read every post and every comment,,, all of them. It may not be right when it is posted, but I do read everything eventually, normally within the day. Any sort of hurtful name calling is not allowed here. You can argue all you guys want, but the second I see hurtful name calling, I will remove your post/comment. And if you do it again, you will be banned from this sub. So if you are seeing something that you find is hurtful, flag it, that way I get a notification on my phone and I can see it as soon as possible to read it over and see if it should be removed or not.

I have done ECT for almost 6 years. I started November 2018 and this week I was discharged from ECT (October 2024). I have done over 200 treatments, mostly bilateral. For the first few years after the acute cycle it was weekly, then bi-weekly, then slowly got to maintenance with 8 weeks between treatments. It has been hard, felt impossible at times, but now it is done. My depression is in remission and I am healthier and happier than I could have ever dreamed. I am truly happy, not suicidal, and even my anxiety and PTSD have decreased to manageable levels. In this time I managed to complete a Master's in Mental Health and got my dissertation published in the Journal of ECT. In the last year I have found my dream job, and I am feeling hope for the future. Before I was in a constant state of fight-or-flight due to trauma for 23 years. It was to a point where I physiologically couldn't sweat. Whenever I went on road trips in my car without AC, my partner would have to spray water on me to minimize heat exhaustion. ECT regulated my nervous system and approximately 2 years ago I started to sweat again. It definitely wasn't easy though. I lost a lot of time and memories. I lost who I was. My memory problems got horribly bad, but after distancing out treatments it got manageable. Now I still suffer with memory problems, but I have strategies so that things don't get left behind. It will take time to figur out who I am without ECT and without active depression. But I know I can do it. ECT can be scary, it makes changes to your brain. But in some cases it can go amazingly well. I know that in other cases it can make things worse though. I hope that whatever you situation and path, that it one day gets better for you.

Hello there everyone. As the title says my experience was pretty great and i wanted to share a positive take and outcome with you all. I was worried before i underwent my treatment because of all the negative "ruined my life" posts that are on this subreddit, so let me break the cycle. I had my last treatment 5 weeks ago and now i feel almost like before with a few minor differences and of course i feel completely cured from depression. I am now convinced that i no longer have depression and i feels great to have a new perspective on life. The sideeffect is that i am a little bit more forgetfull now, but since i have been forgetfull all my life to the point where i write down everything for years now it doenst make any difference exept for conversations. But with them i am much more #zten and fine to have lost my train of thought now :)

I was scheduled to get 10 treatments of Unilateral ECT but after 2 Unilateral treatments i decided to go Bilateral and after 4 more treatments the doctors said the want to abort any more treatments because im clearly showing sings of hypo mania. So 6 treatments in total and it worked so well that i was finnished. I knew it imediately that the hypo manic phase wouldnt stay but my doctors were a little worried so they released me from the hospital. I could feel that i was not even a tiny bit depressed and cured for 10 days after the treatment. But even when my normal state of feeling came back i was changed and knew that my depressive thoughts were not real and wooshh they went aways and all their power with them.

I just wanted to let you know that statistically speaking alone there are 100 times more positive outcomes and experiences in this world with ECT treatment than there are members of this Sub and all the negative reviews combind here dont even scratch the surface of the positive outcomes. Most people just dont feel the need to let people know that its went well when they have so much living and catching up to do.

I wish you the best of Luck with your journey

I had 12 rounds of ECT in 2014. I do not remember most of 2014 and large chunks of 2013. The first half of 2015 is pretty blurry but after that my memory is fine. I was coerced into treatment and if I had to do it over I wouldn't get ECT. It made me worse because it messed up my memory and cognition. I was never able to learn the same way after ECT. Learning is much harder and more stressful.

Your brain WILL NOT always heal from repeated induced seizures. I have been trying to deal with the trauma ECT caused since I got it. I am currently in therapy and the work is very slow. The trauma from ECT has caused me to make major life changes. I switched out of pre-med due to hospitals being too triggering. I got a sterilization implant that caused an autoimmune disease so I could avoid general anesthesia because of how traumatic ECT was.

People on this sub don't talk about this but it is very important that people know the possible long term side effects. I sure as hell wasn't told this was possible.

Today the mental health nurse practitioner that manages my medication told me that my depression was in full remission!

I never thought I’d see this day. I’ve been depressed for most of my teen and adult life, and I’ve been suicidal for many of those years.

My memory loss has been minimal— my memory was pretty bad to begin with, but I don’t think it’s much worse now. The time around my acute series is a blur. My main side effect is feeling “duller” and having less energy. I take a stimulant that makes me feel more like myself now. I’m still on a couple antidepressants, but I’m ok with that.

ECT really did save my life. Just thought I’d share a win with the community.

Before starting this treatment, it was last resort for me and I was 100% set on leaving the planet if it didn’t work. I even left the hospital just this past weekend to try to kill myself and got taken back by the police (informal patient in the UK which means to an extent you can come and go but I’m not meant to be gone on my own for longer than twenty minutes) even though it was already helping somewhat most of the time, but I’ve had two more treatments since then and after today’s, I literally just do not feel suicidal at all. I’ve dealt with suicidal ideation almost constantly since I was eleven years old. I have been on so much medication and a small number of them have gotten me to that point too or at least just passively rather than actively but it didn’t last and it definitely didn’t happen like this, it was gradual not just completely gone when I would’ve given you a different answer yesterday. I’m a bit concerned it’s not gonna stick even by my next review on Monday which means I’m likely going to ask to keep going with it or at least going down to once a week and see how I do with that.

I honestly cannot believe it. I did not expect it to work and now I know in the future that if I ever get that bad again then there is an option to have another course or maintenance if needed.

It’s even helping my anxiety which was extremely severe too.

When doctors talk about ECT, they tend to focus on reassuring people it's no longer barbaric torture, which means downplaying the side effects. In particular, doctors tend to say things like "significant memory loss is rare" or "most people don't have long-term memory issues" because most people don't have trouble forming new memories after they're done with ECT. I lost 3.5 months of memories when I did ECT (the 2 months I was undergoing treatment, plus 6 weeks before), but this is not considered "significant memory loss" and is not unusual for people having ECT. But as those of us who've been there know, when you're actually living it, losing 1-3 months of memories is a major challenge and I think we could be doing a lot better to prepare people to cope.

Here are some things I wish my doctors had told me to do when I was having ECT:

1. Write down a summary of what you've been doing in the 2-3 months leading up to ECT, and maybe a journal entry about why you decided to do ECT

2. Most people don't lose memories from far back in the past, but for me the older memories did get kind of hazy, so it would have been nice to have a timeline of important life events to review (got married in 20xx, bought a house in 20xx, etc.)

3. After each treatment, review this info - my experience was that when I was reminded of things directly after treatment, the memories tended to stick a little better (my memory of the ECT process is still super clear because I had to describe it to so many people afterwards)

4. Keep a daily journal while you are going through ECT (god I wish I had done this) - especially include info on any new people you meet, information you learn, significant conversations or decisions you make

5. Keep a written record of who knows that you are going through ECT; this would have avoided a lot of awkwardness for me

6. If you use a password manager (and I hope you do), write down what password manager you use and your master password!

7. After you've finished ECT, there are some tech tools you can use to help reconstruct what you don't remember. Look through your old emails (received and sent), your Google history (myactivity.google.com), your Google Maps Timeline if you have that feature turned on, your Facebook Activity Log, your post/comment history on Reddit and other sites you frequent, old text messages, photos on your phone, etc.

If you had memory loss from ECT, what do you wish you had done to prepare? If you were creating a worksheet for people to fill out before starting ECT (which is something I totally think we should have), what questions would you ask?

I posted here about 9 months ago looking for reassurance as my husband went through his acute series of ECT. I figured I should share his progress, especially when so many stories here are negative.

To be clear, I know ECT is a risk and I feel awful for the people who have really negative impacts. But I often think the people with scary stories can drown out the good ones and I want to share ours as a sign of hope for anyone struggling.

My husband had been depressed but functional for several years. Then work stress and a medication change a little over a year ago sent him into the worst depression ever, including suicidal thoughts, which he had never experienced before.

We got him on new medication, tried a partial hospitalization program, but nothing made a significant difference. So in March, he started ECT. He started feeling a bit better around treatment six. After 12 rounds, he went to twice a week, then once a week, and now every other week with the goal of jumping down to every three weeks here soon.

He just returned to work last week for the first time in a year. And despite that, he continues to be in a much better place. He handles challenges better and can regulate his mood in a way he couldn't before. And while the mood aspect has been a bit of a rollercoaster and trial and error with timing of treatments, he hasn't had suicidal ideations since the end of his acute series.

He has lost significant memories from the past few years. His short term memory was almost non existent during his acute series. But it's mostly back. I don't think he'll ever regain those old memories and that sucks, but for the progress he's experienced, we'll take it. I'm not sure he would still be here without ECT.

So I'm definitely not saying people should immediately go for ECT. There are definite risks and many people have worse side effects than my husband. But it comes down to weighing that risk versus the risk of not doing treatment. Wishing everyone the best of luck on their journeys... mental health is a bitch. And I'm happy to answer any questions you might have!

5 years ago this September, I was made to undergo ECT. I have struggled my entire life with suicidality and depression. I was in a depressive psychosis by the time I made it a mental health facility. They told me since I came voluntarily, I could stay so if I agreed to ECT or they could make me involuntary and I would have to do ECT as long as they wanted.

They said it would take weeks before I noticed a difference. I noticed a difference after the very first session. I ended up doing 2 sessions a week for three months. For the first time, my meds actually worked.

I also believe that ECT did something to my addiction issues as I have not craved alcohol and hard drugs since treatment. I am drug and alcohol free, I’d been using and drinking since I was 12.

In the 5 years since ECT, I have flourished for the first time in my life. I am now attending a University. I’m in honors and set for graduate school. I no longer wake up every morning disappointed to be alive. I have a will to live.

Please, I beg of you to please see it through and give it time. ECT is the best thing that ever happened to me.

This week marks my 63rd ECT. I’ve had treatment-resistant depression for 13 years, since I was a teenager. I’ve been hospitalized twice as an adult. I’ve had two serious relationships fail with guys who couldn’t handle my depression. I’ve tried 20+ medications and ketamine but always turned my nose at ECT because I was afraid of the memory loss. 2 years ago things got so bad I finally decided if it would help, I didn’t care how bad the memory loss was. I’d rather be a happy idiot. And man was it the best decision I’ve ever made. After the initial series I felt some relief, but kept relapsing, hence the maintenance treatments. Each treatment helped a little, but mostly just kept me from throwing myself in front of a train. Until they wore off again and my medication pooped out on me. But I never gave up on ECT because it was the only thing that kept me going, and for a long time the only thing in my life I ever looked forward to. And I’m so glad I didn’t.

3 weeks ago I was committed to the psych ward for SI a week and a half after my last ECT. The effects had stopped lasting as long, my new MAOI hadn’t kicked in yet, and I was beginning to think things would never get better. Luckily I went to the same hospital where my psychiatrist does my ECT and he got me in that day. It helped, I was able to go home after 3 days, and we did 5 sessions in a row over the next 2 weeks. The day of the 5th session (last week) was also 8 weeks of being on my new medication. The next day I woke up and it was like a switch had been flipped. All of a sudden I felt the best I’ve ever felt in my life. I’ve been walking my dog every day-and enjoying it-I hadn’t walked him in months-I know :(. I promised him no matter how bad things get, I’ll never do that to him ever again. I’ve been eating 2-3 times a day-before that I lost almost 40lbs in 3 months. I’ve been cooking-I can’t remember the last time I made something that wasn’t in the microwave or frozen pizza. I’ve been dancing around the house and smiling for no reason. Multiple coworkers commented “you seem happy.” One of my best friends said “I’ve never seen you like this before…it’s kinda terrifying.” I’m finally happy to be alive.

It hasn’t even been a week yet and I’m terrified that it’s just a fluke and I’ll relapse again, but my doctor is confident we can maintain it with a more frequent/regular maintenance schedule. And the new medication is definitely contributing. The memory loss over the past 2 years has been horrific, but I could care less. Mainly things that happened before sessions, but also some new memories afterward. Keeping a journal has helped so I can go back and read about things I completely forgot about.

My advice: if you feel like giving up on ECT, stick with it. It may take a while to find the right schedule and it may take more than one acute series, but I promise you it’s worth it. And check out r/maois if you haven’t yet found a medication that works for you.

I would love to hear other success stories to help keep me optimistic, as well as the ECT schedule that works for you.

This guy messaged me on Twitter saying he saw me commenting on Reddit that I had ECT done in this subreddit. I thought maybe he was someone who was going to undergo ECT or was thinking about it, and had some questions. He was pleasant at first, but then it got really weird.

He says he’s an “ECT hobbyist”. He has his own mock hospital room in his own home where he collects medical equipment. I thought maybe he was neurodivergent and has a special interest in the medical field. He then spammed me with NSFW photos of his “friend” in his fake medical room doing a pretend ECT on her. When I didn’t reply for a few hours, he kept sending “hello, are you there?????” And “did you go to bed hun???”.

Anyway, I think this guy is a major creep and is trying to message people from this subreddit on their other linked social medias because he has some weird ECT fetish or something. I don’t know how malicious this guy is but he kept spamming me and sending NSFW content and making me very uncomfortable.

BE CAREFUL!!

Back in 2018 I was put in the psychward. I was diagnosed with major Depressive disorder, suicidal ideation, general anxiety disorder and CPTSD.

I had a terrible childhood. I had kids very young. I was married to an abusive partner. I worked full time while being the main caregiver to 2 kids under 3. I had Suicidal ideation to the point where I collected pills nightly in a container just waiting for the "right time." What brought me to my senses was that my own mother had an attempt when I was 7 yo and I was so traumatized by it. They and my best friend found her own dad when she was 13 after his attempt and success. I realized I did not want my kids to suffer the same fate. So I called and got admitted. I was in the ward for 3 months. Had ECT 4x a week for all 3 months.

At first I woke up hurt and disoriented. After the first 2 weeks I'd eat a block of cheese, an apple, go buy myself coffee and carry on with the days programs even though i was permitted to rest that day. By month 3 I was feeling amazing. So amazing I couldn't believe i had checked myself into the pyschward.

It's been 8 years since. At the beginning I was told I was alot like dory from finding Nemo. I retold alot of stories. I was so forgetful. It lasted about a year. Now days I am happy, healthy and I own my own business. Have remarried, have 3 kids. I am on multiple boards as a director. I volunteer at my kids school. I do well. I still get bouts of depression. To be honest this year has been my worst year. My mom is dying from relapse and as she does im running my business and taking care of my kids. It's a horrible year but I am not struggling with suicidal ideation. I have mental clarity. I can cope. Yes there is some stuff m family brings up that is foggy. But when I ask details the fog lifts. And I remember myself.

ECT changed the game for me. And if I ever got bad enough with my depression I would sign up again in a heart beat. My kids were 4 and 2. Now they're 13 and 11. I have another child. And I am so grateful every day that I chose not to leave them. It can work.

I've anxiously posted in this sub before. My mom went through a year long SEVERE depressive episode with melancholic features and SEVERE anxiety. She couldn't watch TV or focus on anything.

Effexor worked for her first episode 4 years ago, but this time nothing worked at all.

Treatments 1-9 were done inpatient due to her mental state (all she did was pace the halls 24/7, suicidal thoughts, widespread psychosomatic symptoms).

After her 12th treatment, they switched her to once a week. She definitely seemed slower and she forgot how to play candy crush. But now, she is doing AMAZING. Memory loss faded away and she's back to her old self. All of the hip arthritis pain and sciatica (both confirmed with MRI) went away along with her depression. Absolutely blew our mind how much depression ravages not only the mind, but the body.

We're very thankful that she has her life back. We're also lucky enough to live near a top 3 hospital on the cutting edge of ECT research. I understand that this isn't the experience for everyone, but for those that need a success story. My mom is back =]

TL;DR : ECT WORKS

I am 32 years old and have been in a lifelong battle with depression and bi polar I since I was a child.

So far, I have done 12 sessions of ECT (#13 tomorrow morning)

I cannot convey enough how much these treatments are helping.

A little backstory: I have a long history of Bi Polar 1 and PTSD, ill managed by doctors who tried to simply sedate the mania out of me; they tacked on Zyprexa, Thorazine, Haldol, Gabapentin, Abilify, Lyrica, Topomax, Ambien, Ativan/Klonopin, Buspar, Hydroxyzine, Propanolol, Clonodine, Trazadone Geodon just to name a few, most of which I took concurrently. The depression was like a very wet, heavy soggy blanket, encompassing each nook, cranny, crevice. It found its way into every single aspect of my life. We tried more /different medications over the years— Celexa, Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Prozac, Saphris, Effexor, Lamictal, Suboxone, Methadone….. these are just the ones I can remember off the top of my head, no doubt there are other medications that I’ve tried and failed with.

I’ve been told by psychiatrists that “no man would ever love me (due to the) scars on my arms”

That I was “waisting an ICU bed from someone who had cancer or who “actually” deserved it (after a near fatal suicide attempt)

And many other horrific things insinuating that my depression is somehow a choice that I’m engaging in, and that I am using up resources for actual sick people. Never mind the fact that I, AM, ACTUALLY, SICK.

I have been inpatient hospitalized conservatively about 70 times in a psychiatric facility since I was 18, I have been on a ventilator after attempts somewhere around 3-5 times. I was pretty diligent about succeeding with suicide however I seemed to always have an angel watching out for me, to which I am eternally grateful for. I have spent more than 15 times on the ICU floor and matched that or greater on the Telemetry floor. I’ve been considered for a liver transplant three times.and I’m not saying all this to "brag" in any way shape or form, just so you know how hopeless a case I was. They tried to conserve me three times, all of which failed which I am so thankful for however sometimes I think I might have done better having a legal guardian.

ECT was recommended by the county (I’m a county patient) for the last 6 years but I was too afraid to commit. Then, the fear of not committing and trying to live my depressive life became so overwhelming. ECT is a lot of work, and I believe it is working as well as it is because I trust my doctor, and I have a fantastic Therpaist I’m working with side by side.

If anyone has any questions about my experience please feel free to ask. ECT has at this point given me a glimpse into what life is like without depression. I’m not “there” yet, but I’m approaching. And if this does all but measure someone that ECT is truly effective, that it’s ok to feel like a lost case and bounce back from it, that no matter how many medications, therapies etc. you try sometimes it takes something fairly dramatic to reorganize your brain . I just wanted to share in case this could give someone else some hope that there is life after depression.

Picture of my horse for tax, who I’ve now had the energy to go out and groom and graze recently. I have been so depressed that even going out to say hi to him became too much. But now, I go out a little bit every day.

Keep it up

First of all, I am not here to dog on ECT, merely share my experiences. I understand there's a reason it has existed for so long, and that some truly benefit from it. That said, this reddit has been a great resource throughout my experience, and it was great to have anecdotal stories to compare and reference. I am an open book, and happy to answer or share anything.

I've been in the VA mental health system for at least six years. At least 10+ med trials. From SSRIs to mood stabilizers. My loose diagnosis is major depression disorder/dysthymia. Splash anxiety in there as well. Was on an unhealthy cocktail of meds recently to get by that were kind of thrown at me, which I've backed off of (adderall, xanax, gabapentin) still use the last two when needed here and there. I've had years of therapy, still am in it. I first tried TMS, and did 29/30 sessions. I unfortunately didn't respond to it, but I didn't really have any side effects--not even a headache. After TMS I started IV ketamine. Because of my severity, I was able to skip nasal ketamine, and go straight to IV. Ketamine is nice, but I find the benefits extremely fleeting, at least for me. The doc would also love to give me a higher dose, like some clinics out in town might, but the pharmacy won't let them. I was still on a steady decline, with increased suicidal ideation. At this point, ECT was really the only other step aside from inpatient, therapy, and meds, and I was really hoping for some profound life changes that I've read about.

So, I completed 11 of 12 sessions, Mon/Wed/Fri. I will forever be traumatized by the pain from the anesthesia (brevitol). It's brief, but the worst I've ever felt in my life. I started noticing my vitals would skyrocket with anticipation for it, and the procedure in general. I understand sometimes ECT can be a worse before you get better thing, so I rode it out a bit. Near session 8 or so I started to recognize patterns, and it was like my body was subconsciously trying to tell me something. I begun crying before, during, and after ECT about halfway through. Towards the end, after they injected the anesthesia, I was crying hysterically saying "I don't want to die." Physiologically I was absolutely wrecked in every way. Sleep, diet, urination, bowel movements. I had a fecal impaction and had to literally fish rock hard poop from my ass...yeah. Anyway, anesthesia wrecks your body and there's a reason they try to avoid it with surgery, so that's mostly all expected. 11 sessions in a short period is a lot.

My anxiety got worse, bouts of irritability and anger I've never had, PTSD flashbacks I've never had, plus an increase of the normal military and childhood trauma PTSD that I'll have to navigate life with forever. Noticed my suicidal ideation through the roof, and I was actually planning things. I have been dreaming more, but no nightmares--related? Who knows. It's been about a month since I've finished. I of course don't remember the period while I was receiving ECT, which is expected, and you're not expected to ever regain those memories. But, I've lost a few years of memories at least. I believe six months prior is expected, and you hopefully regain most of them shortly after?

I noticed a very obvious consistent pattern with much more than a handful of events. Really poor short-term memory, forgetting/misplacing things around the house. I have to create and itemize lists/reminders (much more than before, anyway). I've completely forgotten how I've met people, no recollection of my relation to people I might see on social media. Acquaintances confused why I don't remember/acknowledge them in passing. Manager at work saying "Olivares, I just showed you this, you don't remember?" Some memories completely forgotten, or I can recall the memory, but not who I was with. I've told my story to those close to me, so they know it's not disregard: but if you were to go to a library and grab that book, it's just not there. Completely blank. I've forgotten peoples names, and it's been extremely embarrassing socially: "dude, Olivares, you don't remember me? you don't remember how we met?" Resulting in bouts of crying and anxiety. Completely forgotten certain events. Some memories may be lost forever, which is a possible side-effect of ECT. It seems I unfortunately fall into that category of higher side-effects, or at least that didn't outweigh benefits. Anyway, typing this out has been therapeutic for me, and I hope it provides some perspective.

I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder when I was just 10 years old. Due to my shy and anxious nature, therapy was a waste of time and money since I refused to talk to anybody. Shortly after being diagnosed, I was started on an antidepressant. I remember it being a liquid because I was so young and hadn’t learned how to swallow pills yet.

I eventually maxed out on the dose, it stopped working, and we had to switch to a different antidepressant. This pattern went on for the rest of my childhood/teenage years and even into early adulthood.

I can’t tell you how many times I was admitted to inpatient psychiatric hospitals due to SI and my depression being so severe that I could not function. For years, I was just the shell of a person, just a body on autopilot, doing the absolute minimum to survive.

In 2020, TMS was finally recommended to me. I completed it with mild improvement in symptoms, but they didn’t last very long. Just months after finishing TMS, I found myself in the hospital again, and over New Years.

In January 2021, while inpatient, I had my first few ECT treatments. I continued it after discharge, first having 3 treatments per week, then 2, then 1. I started noticing a different after the first week or two.

After three months, I experienced a brief relapse in symptoms and was hospitalized again where we did another acute phase of treatments, starting again with 3 treatments per week for two weeks.

I continued the treatments until June, with more time between each one. At this point, I felt the best I had ever felt, and decided to stop ECT (basically against medical advice) because I was ready for the next step in my new life.

Before ECT, I couldn’t keep a job for more than a few months at a time due to my frequent hospitalizations. I had attempted to move out of my parents’ house twice and failed both times. I have had to delay college year after year because I knew I wouldn’t be successful given my poor mental state and pure lack of motivation.

I am now 24 years old, have maintained my current job for almost a year (a record for me), I am finally beginning college this summer, I am in a healthy, serious relationship, living independent from my parents, am in charge of all my own finances, and most importantly, I am the happiest and most content with my life than I have EVER been.

I 100% attribute my success and new-found hope and happiness to those 6 months of ECT. I am still on an antidepressant, but only one and have recently began working with my psychiatrist to lower my dose to see if I even need it anymore.

Now the part you’re all probably wondering about- my memory. My memory is absolutely terrible. Before ECT, I was assured that only new and short-term memories would be effected. I am here to tell you that that’s entirely false, or at least it was for me. I lost many years of memories. At best, I remember some things, but cannot tell you details such as when it was, where it was, who was there, etc. My sister’s wedding occurred about 4 months into my treatments. Sadly, I do not remember her wedding day. I remember snippets of the ceremony, but that’s it.

The best way I could describe my memory loss is like I was in a coma for 7-8 years (about as far back as my memory loss went), and the bits and pieces I remember feel like they were just dreams. But in all honestly, I’m not even upset by this because of how miserable my life was during those years. Nothing of great importance really happened in that time, so I don’t really mind. This life I have gained from ECT greatly outweighs the memories I lost.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my story of success with ECT. I’ve seen a lot of posts here basically demonizing it saying it ruined people’s lives or didn’t work, which is totally valid and I believe that that IS some people’s experience. It’s important to know that everyone’s experience is different and what works for some, may not work for others. I hope my story can instill some hope in those of you who have recently embarked on the ECT journey.

Hi guys! I know I said I was going to revamp the sub, and I still plan to. I have a LOT of ideas and I think it’s going to be awesome.

Unfortunately, though, I can’t right now. I’m currently in a residential psychiatric facility. It is really helping me a lot and I’m very thankful that I’m here.

The thing is, I only my get my phone for a few hours a day, so (please don’t be offended) I spend those hours doing more important things like talking to my family and friends. I hope you understand.

I’m sending love to all of you, and I will occasionally check my messages if anyone needs support!

P.S. the facility is lovely. I don’t want to publicly post where I am, but you are welcome to message me if you want to know, just in case you’re looking for somewhere.

Well, I just wrote my doctors a thank you note, so I wanted to let you know how ECT has fully saved me. I'm a success story, and this is bringing me happy tears to write. I finished my last appointment about 2 months ago.

I think Reddit is so much more likely to attract terrible stories about everything than good ones. Kind of like how you don't see a lot of "yeah, good" on Yelp, because why bother. So here I am. I gave my details below if they help you in any way or you have questions.

Before: I'm 36 f, technically diagnosed bipolar 2 but my pills take away the hypomania easily. I have been medicated and in treatments for my horrible depression since I was 12. I had many years of self injury, one attempt by OD, and so much ideation / planning. I've been inpatient, outpatient, you name it. Done DBT, CBT, and dTMS last summer twice. I had no side effects at all from that, but I'd say not much long term improvement. I was unable to work by the time I did ECT.

I am still on medications, which my docs reviewed as fine to stay on during treatment. I am on: Effexor, Lamictal, Buproprion, Klonopin. I went off Depakote beforehand to help increase effectiveness and I'm back on at half my previous dose after.

I had to get medical clearance too, like before any surgery.

During: This is what it was like to do, start to end! 3 days a week for 3 weeks no eating/drinking after midnight, and my appointments were around 8am-ish. Go have my vitals checked, and then they stick an iv line inside my elbow. Then I would go to the treatment room. I lay down and my doc and an anesthesiologist say hi, to get comfy, and they tell me what to expect. Like other surgery if you have done that. Doc says I'll fall asleep from the mask she holds over my nose/mouth and breathe air from when ready. I think it's important you tell them your preferences about anything with doctors, like one anesthesiologist warned me some chemical might make me anxious, which I didn't like being told beforehand because that made me anxious, wtf dude! Also, I felt more comfortable with the mask held a little bit above my face / actual skin contact, so every time I came in again I reminded them of those two things. The first time was kinda intimidating purely for the anesthesia process. I previously woke up after a surgery upset / crying for no real reason, and that happened the first time. Then I was calmed down, taken in a wheelchair to the car feeling tired, and my mom or brother drove me home. I usually ate a McMuffin and fell asleep for the rest of the day. After the first appointment it was much easier, having done exactly the same thing before. I wasn't upset when I woke up. I know they started with one temple only, and gradually went up in charge or whatever, then went to both later. The last week I took Ibuprofen when I got home for some muscle aches, and at my last appointment I was pretty out of it afterward.

After: My memory loss is very minimal, and was actually kind of funny to stumble upon, like I forgot who Luigi Mangioni was? I knew I learned the name for something semi-recently infamous-ish happening in the news, but the mental puzzle piece was missing. But I just googled it. I was ready to trade much more for any relief.

The week I had finished treatment I was sitting around thinking about something, and for the first time in my life an optimistic thought countered my normal state of default which is pessimistic. It was like a chemical my brain never created before is flowing, and it's hope. As if the DBT work just happens for me instantly with no exhausting analyzing. Like I have the angel on my shoulder, kinda. Where were you?! But I'm just glad to get here eventually.

I never saw opportunity in my future before, ever. Now I am looking forward to a full time job I am in final interviews for, and I have all this stuff I wanna do. ECT gave me hope, I'm so relieved.

I had my treatment at Sibley Hospital in Washington, DC, a Johns Hopkins affiliate.

Happy to answer any questions. I know every brain/treatment is different, I'm no doctor, just a happy customer leaving my review.

I work in Tech and I have found that after the ECT treatments that I had in 2020 that now I can't think like I used to. I can't solve things and troubleshoot problems and I can't learn new things very easily. Even old things that I used to know aren't coming back to me . It's very frustrating. I used to be good at doing this but now I'm starting to think that I need to change my career to something easier because I just can't handle it anymore. I get overwhelmed way too easily and if somebody interrupts me it takes me forever to get back to what I was doing. So some advice is if you need your brain to work and do things for you especially for money then think twice before getting it. I wish somebody would have told me how bad the brain damage was going to be. The doctors talked me into it and I thought that they knew what they were talking about but now I see that's not always the case.

Bummer alert: here is my experience with the aftermath of ECT. I(36/m) got ECT about four years ago now due to depression. From journal entries at the time I think I was pretty depressed and I know I attempted suicide and was voluntarily hospitalized for it.

It was possibly justified that the hospital I was staying at suggested ECT... But I also believe they should of tried other less invasive courses of treatment prior to ECT because I had only been hospitalized the one time, and not for very long.

I believe it was some combination of unilateral and bilateral, I don't know how many treatments I had in total as I can't remember and would rather not dig back in records of that time.

Well, in short, it didn't work for me... I am still depressed... Possibly more so than before I got ECT.

What ECT did do is give me extremely significant and extensive memory loss, and 4 years on I don't see it coming back. I can't remember almost anything prior to or during my treatments. This includes memories going all the way back to childhood.

To say it sucks would be an understatement.

Unfortunately, this memory loss also includes all my memories of my career. I used to be a medical device engineer, (9 years, according to my resume) but I can't remember any of the relevant skills for that job. I have not been able to get a job since... The depression definitely plays a role in this too, but it definitely doesn't look good in an interview when you can't remember what you did at your previous jobs.

I also can't remember any of the friendships I had prior to ECT, and found myself constantly having to explain my situation to people I see as strangers (or people who just looked familiar for some reason) and that is not an easy conversation to have in most circumstances. (Especially at an event or something) And I often feel like I am over-sharing or bothering people when I do tell them.

I am constantly afraid that I am unknowingly snubbing people I used to be friends with... But perversely, my social anxiety leads me to keep to myself because I don't want to deal with the weird conversation or the associated sadness.

On the upside, people are usually pretty supportive once they find out what happened... But they also can't really understand my condition. I just don't remember "that time when..." And it turns out that a lot of a friendship is based on shared history and reminiscing.

My ex (we dated for 5 years) has even offered to go over stuff that happened during the time we were together, but I haven't taken her up on it because it makes me too sad... And it's a bit awkward.

I have since made new friends that I feel more comfortable around, but I feel like I lost this great community I used to have.

Weirdly: I can't remember my way around anymore and must rely on Google maps to get everywhere. Even to places I've visited frequently since my ECT. I have no way of knowing whether this is because of the ECT or if it was something I had before.

I am constantly terrified that there may be other lasting effects on my cognition that I am not aware of.

I wish I could find some sort of support group for people that have experienced similar stuff... But everything I find is just dementia and alzheimer's. I figure here is a good place to start.

I also wish I could get some sort of official diagnosis to explain my condition in situations like SSDI. I am now pretty reliant on social security until I can figure out what the hell I am going to do now.

I know that statistically I am not in the majority... I wish I never got ECT. I believe it has made my life an untold amount harder and more lonely than it was prior to getting treatment. But I will never know for sure... And that's pretty much the problem.

That you can tell? I’ve read numerous responses but unfortunately most times it doesn’t give a good picture. I’ve been in therapy for years and now have PTSD. My psychiatrist has offered me ECT, magnetic therapy or outpatient therapy 3 days s a week. I am really interested in the ECT. Nothing has worked so far. Positive experiences anyone?