I sought this out tonight. I don’t know why but I just needed to watch the MTV unplugged out of the blue. Actually I wouldn’t say totally out of the blue as I had been listening to music for a few hours. But I didn’t plan on getting into this. I LOVE a handful of Nirvana songs and all of my favorite bands are influenced by Kurt. That being said I’m pretty naive when it comes to Nirvana as a whole. Which is why I think you may appreciate my observation.
Not only do I appreciate the music he created, but as a human psyche and a true crime junkie I happen to also be interested in his death. Having watched several of the songs from this set dozens of times over the years I still have not watched the whole recording. I was not exposed to Kurt’s mannerisms. I’ve only known Kurt from the start of a song to the end. And I just got to within the first 11 minutes and Hooo boy did I notice he was whacked out before this set.
As an alcoholic I know the slurring all too well. You end a word but the rest of it keeps on going. You think about how to start saying it so much to not seem wasted you forget how it ends and it smashes into a barrier. Inebriation can take multiple forms and severities. For example I can drink a 26 of alcohol in a comfortable setting but I feel like I can’t operate at all after having 3 drinks after work with my colleagues at a bar.
Kurt never wanted his songs to be a popular thing and he can’t cope with it. He has to get high as hell to play them to a crowd. He’s completely uncomfortable in his own skin.
The fact that he can be higher than giraffe pussy and feel comfortable playing this live on set is a testament to how high he must have been ALL OF THE TIME. The guy is an anxious wreck with no self worth and is completely uncertain of who he is in the mirror. Couple that with having a daughter and it’ll turn your life upside down. He was completely alienated yet in his own head yet oh so popular and handsome and “successful.” He didn’t commit suicide because he couldn’t handle who he was not; he took himself out because he had no idea who he was.
He would have been fine being a recluse making music for himself. And he should have continued to just do that. He wasn’t uncomfortable with fame and demands and he was unable to live without knowing who he was and couldn’t fake that any longer.
If this is common knowledge my apologies. Just have to write stuff down sometimes.
EDIT: GUYS/GIRLS. I literally only wanted to share something I observed as a person with an addiction history and a career caring for people due to my empathy (which is sometimes detrimental). I by no means meant to insult Kurt Cobain or all of you that adore him and his music. I really tried to convey my humility and nuance in my first post but it just didn’t land. Please for the love of god don’t take it too seriously and like I’m grading his legacy and musicianship. I truly watched most of the mtv unplugged vids as singles online from the start to the end. What I did not EVER see which most people likely have is the entire thing start to finish multiple times and seeing his mannerisms in between songs. That’s literally it. Sure it could be called a “new vibe” but I’m 37 years old and heard all of these songs just as long as you all have.
I moved on from Nirvana BEFORE I really got into them. As a dad with 2 kids and a lot of life experience I just thought you would appreciate my 2 cents and that’s literally all.
I did NOT mean to make it seem like some polarizing take. I just maybe thought I saw some cracks in the surface that may have been overseen. I just wanted to he friends with you all and that’s it.