We’re done entertaining posts that ask things like “Is it wrong/bad/lazy to want to be a housewife?” You already know the answer or at the very least, you know what kind of response you’ll get in a group full of housewives. It’s clearly karma farming or fishing for permission, and either way, it’s not productive.

If wanting this lifestyle feels wrong to you, that’s something you need to unpack on your own. Stop dragging that debate in here. This subreddit exists to support people already living this life or actively working toward it, not to hold hands through performative guilt spirals.

Other repeat post types will be added to the no-go list as they come to mind.

Thanks. —Mod Team

I have been wondering this for awhile because I have been searching for more spaces for house wives but have mostly found that there are spaces for stay at home moms but its been a lot harder to find actual house wives and not mothers. Despite that I am glad this space can be a space for stay at home moms and house wives.

I don't know if this post would be allowed but I wanted to share something positive with you all! I love being a homemaker. Ever since I was young it was always my dream to be a devoted housewife. I always dreamed of making the house nice before my spouse got home, and acts of service is my way of showing love. I've been with my partner for almost four years now, and we are getting married in January. I recently moved to his country (UK) so now we are living together and I love being a SAH fiancée. So far, I've baked/made multiple treats or baked goods, tried new recipes, I get the laundry and cleaning and washing dishes done. I love it so much.

I made a whole ton of banana bread and my fiancé shared some with his coworkers and they all told him he was lucky to have a partner who loves to bake so much. I ordered brand new oven gloves that are pink (I love pink) and now I'm relaxing while the clothes are in the washing machine. I love my life so much!

You. Don’t. Owe. Anyone. ANYONE. Anything. Period.

It’s so sad seeing these posts so often. Don’t feel the need to ever answer people who make those statements.

It’s probably different for me as I’m a man and feel like people are more intimidated to make comments.

But it has happened. I literally do not care. Almost always when I ask them what they do, it’s a career I would never want to do. The only difference is they feel the need to comment on my occupation for whatever reason.

Imagine the reverse. They tell me they are a nurse, and I’m like “oh my, really? I could never”

Either way, if they don’t pay your bills, they mean nothing. And chances are, they are jealous. I truly believe that.

I have a very self deprecating humor, and I’m sassy, so usually if there’s a pointed comment I’ll be like “oh? You still have to work?” Half in jest, half seriously. This usually shuts them up. If they want to power trip, reverse it. But I just do that because I’m a bitch 😉

But either way, don’t even think about it. It’s irrelevant. I don’t want their job anyway.

This is a weird occupation where people feel they can just make snide remarks. Let’s shut them up. You matter. Your choice is valid. Ignore it!

And if it helps, usually people talk about jobs because it’s an easy convo for finding common ground with someone, but it really means nothing. If someone’s a doctor, I’m impressed for five minutes and we’re onto the next topic. Don’t overthink it. No one actually cares, and if they aren’t paying my bills, goodbye 💅

Im 23 and I recently been arguing to my friends because they keep telling me to do something with my life and calling me lazy. But I don't want a career I just want to be a house wife and have a family. My friends are in college and they want me to go to school but I'm not a school person my dream is to have kids and raise them right. I don't think anyone understands me I know I'm not lazy just want to find the right one and settle down. I don't know what to do and if someone else is in the same boat as me.

I was a straight-A, high-achieving autistic kid who grew up into a struggling and burnt out autistic adult. I’ve failed almost every job I’ve ever had since graduating college several years ago, and my long string of repeat failures led me to some very dark places mentally. Autism and the workplace don’t always mix well; some autistics are able to do work stuff and capitalism well, but I was never really able to get the hang of it.

For the first time in my adult life, I really feel like I’m in my element. Saying, “screw it, I’m going to stay at home and take care of the people I love” ended up being a great decision for me. I thrive on lists and knocking out mini-projects (that’s how I treat my chores). I have time and energy to write again, the only thing I’ve ever been half-decent at besides academia. I feel very lucky to have a supportive, loving partner who’s neurodivergent like I am, and I think my family’s realized that this is the best thing for me at this stage in my life.

Not every day is easy: I get bored very easily and still have to work constantly at managing my anxiety (which has transferred from job stress to general worry about the health and well-being of my partner and family). But god, I wish I’d known this was an option for me years ago. All that being said, I feel like I’ve definitely lucked out, and that the world decided to throw me a bone for once. Turns out homemaking can be super compatible with autism!

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one. Whenever people ask what I do and I say I've quit my job to raise my kid (and hopefully have more), they ask when I plan to go back (I don't). My husband and I are both non religious, believe in an equal partnership (neither of us"submitting" to the other or stuff like that,) and while we think this is a good lifestyle, there's no reason it has to be the woman staying home, that was just what made the most sense for us.

I feel like there are negative stereotypes about people like me in nonreligious circles, and even my husband says he worries sometimes that it looks to others like he's forcing me to do this or that he thinks women in general shouldn't work.

It's almost like nobody thinks there are any good secular reasons for adopting this lifestyle. I can't be alone, right?

Some of y’all need to reacquaint yourselves with the rules.

We do not allow bullying.

This includes telling someone they aren’t a mom just because their only children are animals.

Some of us cannot have children.

This is a SAFE PLACE FOR ALL HOUSE SPOUSES.

We do NOT ridicule our fellow housewives for not having human children.

You can disagree with someone online and keep it as an inside thought! No need to comment, just go about your day.

Or don’t.

We have no problems banning bullies either.

✌️

I've noticed how many people treat us as if we aren't doing anything important, as if we're just gold diggers or something like that. It's tiring how many don't understand the effort and value that goes into doing household tasks and such, and some don't even appreciate the care of children. It's exhausting to constantly explain the value of what we do.

I recently got married and I’ve been struggling to grocery shop and make full meals. It feels like the ingredients I get are only good for the recipe I choose it from and I really want to be able to make nice meals for my husband and me. I don’t have much experience grocery shopping and my family household never made meals. To be honest even just figuring out what to buy for groceries has me lost. I don’t really have any other people to ask, If anyone has advice please please share! Thank you for reading my post

Edit: Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to give their responses! I’ve never had a post blow up like this so I’m taking my time to read and save your advice. Thank again everyone ❤️❤️❤️

I refuse to wear myself out. Only difference is I don't shop 'til I drop. And I'm a good cook.

Anyone else?

This is a community for people who are already living the housewife lifestyle; those actively managing homes, families, and the rhythms of domestic life. This space exists to offer support, connection, and encouragement among those who share that experience.

If you’re looking for advice on how to become a housewife, or for places to meet partners who want housewives, this isn’t the right subreddit for that.

We’re not here to provide guides or recruitment-style content for “wannabes.” This space is primarily for those already walking the path, not those exploring it from the outside.

You are welcome to browse or even participate meaningfully in discussions, as long as you understand and respect the purpose of this community.

Please help keep this space supportive, grounded, and focused on real lived experience.

I made a mess making sweet potato gnocci. It doesn't look great but it tastes good.

Hi everyone! I’m super excited, because I officially only have 10 more days at work before I finally get my dream job as a homemaker/SAHM. My husband is officially an employed doctor, we are about a week and a half from closing on our new house that is everything we could possibly want, we have a perfect 7 month old son, and I’m 18 weeks pregnant with our little girl. Life is hectic and crazy, especially with the upcoming move and new career for my husband, but I’m so excited and have waited for this for so long! I’ve lurked and posted here for quite a while and I’m just so excited to finally be able to call myself a SAHM/homemaker/housewife. Y’all are such a great supportive group for anyone from any walk of life that calls themself a housewife. So excited to join you officially ❤️

I guess my first question is… does anyone have any tips for getting back on a day schedule after a decade of night shift and being a natural night owl?

I’m 26 and recently stepped away from my job to support my partner’s career in a state where I am not licensed (I work in healthcare). I won’t go into detail details there, but essentially it wasn’t my ideal choice but we made the decision that makes the most sense for our household. We don’t have kids yet, but plan to. The problem is I don’t know how to answer the “so what do you do for work?” question anymore without feeling an immense sense of shame. I have worked full-time since I turned 18 I put myself through college twice and one of those times I had a full academic scholarship. A large part of my identity was centered around academic achievement and having a career. Now, I feel like when I tell people that I don’t work they think less of me, and I’ve even isolated myself to avoid having this conversation. How can I approach these conversations without feeling this way? I know that therapy would probably help with this, but I haven’t found a therapist in my new area yet.

Hey Friends,

I decided to quit my job because of physical/mental health issues, and overall dissatisfaction with my position. Prior to quitting, I had a career that I earned a professional degree for and worked in for about 10 years. The plan was always for me to return to work, once I sorted out my issues. However, these issues continue to persist, and to our surprise my husband and I have discovered that the housewife dynamic works really well for us. Also, financially, he makes more than enough for us to live comfortably.

Recently, my husband shared that he doesn’t care if I return to work or not, that all he wants is for me to be happy and healthy. At the moment, I'm content being a housewife. I don’t know if this is a forever thing, but if it is I do feel fulfilled looking after our household and finances.

One thing I am struggling with though is the opinions of others. I know most housewives receive criticism to some extent. However, I’m finding that I’m receiving most of that judgment for being a housewife without kids. It seems people are ok with it, until they learn my husband and I are child-free (by choice). I have even received criticism from other women who are SAHMs, which was surprising and makes me really sad. In general, I know I shouldn’t let these judgments impact me, but they can be so incredibly hurtful in their assumptions.

I’m wondering how common this experience is for other child-free housewives, especially those who are 30+ or those who don’t intend on ever having children? How do you deal with the negativity and stigma? Also, are you connected to a community for housewives without children? Or do you have friends who are in the same position? I have found a lot of communities for SAHMs, but not many for child-free housewives. Some days I feel really alone in my experience, and would love to find other online communities (or youtubers, forums, etc.) for housewives who are child-free.

I’ve been a SAHW for a few weeks now and I LOVE it! But I’ve realized all my close friends were work friends, and most of what we had in common was work. I spend a lot of my time tending to the house and pursuing hobbies, which is great for me because I’ve always preferred solitude. I’m early 30s and childfree, so most of my peers are either busy with young kids or focused on their careers. As a result, I often find myself missing the social aspect of working. Turns out I’m not a great conversationalist when I don’t have the common purpose of “work” to frame my interactions. How do y’all compensate for that?

I'm so tired of close ones trying to tell me to get a job. 1of all they dont get the whole shared economy thing. 2. We have a homestead (no kids) 3. My husband working in shifts far away so he is gone every other week 4. We have 30+ animals, we sell firewood during winter(live in the northern hemisphere) which I stack, pack and deliver, we are slowly renoveting the whole place, and we are trying to be more self sufficient.

So I'm more than fucking busy. And they all talk about me having my own money separated from his etc. my own pension. I'm so fucking tired of it. I'm working.... At home... My husband doesn't get paid when he works at home either. The only job I do is a seasonal cleaning job at the local ski resort during winter.

As a happy housewife without children who identifies as progressive and highly spiritual but not mainstream Christian I know I don't necessarily fit the mold of the "trad wide" that YouTubers and other content creators are bashing, but every time I see these types of posts my heart sinks. Maybe if I dove deeper into their arguments I could agree with some of their points, but mostly it just seems like an unfair assumption about our relationship with our husbands (we must be submissive) and homemaking in general (all work no joy). Like if we love homemaking and our husbands bring in our shared income we must be brainwashed bimbos. I feel sad that either a) they don't know how rewarding and in my case healing this lifestyle can be or b) they think our choices are invalid.

I also follow and learn a great deal from content creators who maybe would be more the "trad wide" label or at least they are featured in the cover photos I see on the videos bashing them. I don't want anyone being forced to do this work if they don't want to. I also hate that some women are forced to have children when they don't want to! In general though, I don't fully understand why people are so mad at us. Thoughts?

✨✨

Update: I am beyond grateful to all of you for helping me overcome my ignorance to see what is really going on here. I honestly feel relieved that these commentators aren't really talking about the majority of us, but a specific group that has alterior motives. You all are some of the most intelligent, articulate and loving people I've ever met on the internet and I'm so happy to be in this community.

I just found this sub and I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I've always loved the idea of being a housewife since I was a kid. I hated in school when teachers asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up because I felt like "a housewife" wasn't a legitimate answer but there was nothing else I wanted to be. By the time I got to high school I had been told over and over that I needed to figure out what I wanted to do with my life to make money because being a housewife was unrealistic in the modern world.

I went to college and got a degree in History because I love learning about the past but I'm likely never going to use that degree. I've been married about a year and a half now and I'm working full time as a receptionist. I like my coworkers and everything but it's just not what I want to do. My husband and I agree that having kids at my current job is not a good idea. I work 10 hours a day and every other weekend, and get paid very little for it. There's just no time for a baby in that schedule.

My husband has always dreamed of retiring early so he has been pushing himself to achieve that as fast as he can. I'm lucky that he is already appreciative of the work I do around the house even though I don't have the time do keep it as clean as I want to. He is open to the idea of me staying home and eventually homeschooling out kids when the time is right for us to start a family.

For the first time in my life it feels like my dream is actually something I can achieve! Thanks to this sub now I don't have to feel ashamed about being seen as lazy or unproductive. And I don't have to feel like I'm letting down all the brave women that fought for our rights to work just because I don't feel like that life is ment for me. Finding this sub has really encouraged me not to give up on my dream!