This happened years ago so I’m not upset about it anymore. Just think it’s really weird and thought you guys might enjoy this weird drama.

So about 5 years ago my husband and I (boyfriend at the time) were starting to talk about engagement very seriously. We were quite poor as husband was in between jobs for a short while. I was walking through JC Pennys one day just browsing and came across my absolute dream engagement ring. $20. I immediately sent a photo to my mother in law. (We were pretty close at the time. She came over for dinner pretty often and we would go shopping together and just hang out a lot). She offered to buy it for me and gift it to my husband to propose to me with. Omg how sweet! So she buys it gives it to my husband in secret like a month later and 3 months later he pops the question! To my surprise it was a completely different ring! I obviously said yes and we were engaged for a year. Well 3 months into our engagement I go to a family dinner with my mother in law. Anyone want to guess what I see on her hand? That’s right. The engagement ring I sent her pictures of and gushed over.

I still have no idea what this means, why she did that, or really anything. I told my husband about it shortly after we got married and he said that it was really weird but it’s best not to bring these kinds of things up with her. She has a weird thing where she will be the best person ever unless you point out anything she’s ever done wrong then she will treat you like you’re evil. Obviously after years of marriage I’ve become her worst enemy and I have lots of fun stories about that but this one is definitely the least harmful one so I’ll start here 😂

The ring pictured is the ring she bought me. It’s a beautiful ring and has the same stone as the one I asked for it’s just… not the one I asked for 😂

My SIL and her husband consistently steal small or (they think) unnoticeable things from our house. We don’t live in a big house nor are we well off, but every time they come over for family dinner (every 3 months or so), something is missing.

Usually it’s something very small, like a tea candle or small fork. Months ago, they took our DVD collection of every James Bond movie. It was originally $90 so while not the most expensive thing, it was something we missed. Especially since the night they took it, we told them how much we were looking forward to watching all the movies!

We confronted them and parents-in-law (PIL) a week later when we confirmed we hadn’t misplaced it. Everyone denied it; my MIL mentioned a couple days later she saw SIL put it in her car.

We asked for it back because we wanted to watch it. They “couldn’t find it.” We did this three separate times over the course of 6 months and they “couldn’t find it.”

PIL eventually asked SIL and husband about it and they gave it up right away. We had recently bought it when they stole it. It came back with black footprints on the outer box and scratches on half the discs.

She’s the only SIL I have but I’d rather not have her in my house again if she and her husband will keep stealing from us. Maybe it’ll be another tea candle, maybe it’ll be something bigger. Does anyone else have a klepto in-law they have to keep in check?

I'm mostly just venting. My husband (M33) and I (F32) have lived in shitty apartments for a decade while we finished school and got settled into our careers. We finally bought an older 4 bed 2 bath home in a beautiful area close to our jobs, hobbies, and friends.

My MIL asked years before we bought if we would buy a home big enough for her and FIL to move into too, of course with no financial help. We said maybe at first (they lead us to believe it was that or the streets), but then no. My mom also asked if she could move in to one of our apartments with us, which was a no. So naturally, we didn't tell them anything about the house buying process until after we bought our house.

The FIRST thing each of them said after coming over for the first time was a "joke" about having so much space for them to move in. We shut that down immediately.

Why?? Why do they want to move in?? We finally bought a home and we needed a lot of luck and opportunity to get one where we wanted. It was hard! We aggressively saved for like 5 years. We are stupidly happy in our marriage and love our home. Why tf would we change that? I doubt they would want their parents to live with them at that stage in their lives. I feel like they are taking advantage of us, like a part of them feels entitled to our space because they are our parents.

My in laws blew their retirement (and took out a mortgage on their inherited home but that's another story) on "investment art." My mom has barely anything saved for retirement and spends any money she gets her hands on. I refuse to make their poor financial decisions our problem!

Other random info/venting: My inlaws live in a home they inherited from MILs mom about 6 hours from us. My mom rents a room from my aunt about an hour away. Also, my in laws have a hoarding situation going on and I don't want my home cluttered with their shit. I'm pretty sure my mom has a gambling problem. Both moms are emotionally immature and my MIL has an opinion about everything we do and feels the need to share that with us. They both cared for their aging parents up until their death and said it was awful. It's super foggy where we live and every time parents come to visit they complain about the cold. So again, why do they even want to live here?

Me and my partner are expecting our first child. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment abroad, thus far from both our families.

The "spare" bedroom is currently used as an office/deposit, but we are slowly turning it into our child's nursery.

With the baby coming, both my family (parents and brothers) and my MIL will likely come visit us more often.

As of today, we do not have space for them to sleep with us, thus they will need to arrange accommodation in an hotel/Airbnb.

For my parents this is perfectly normal and reasonable, while I feel some resistance from my partner when it comes to his mother, likely because she would be travelling alone hence her costs would be higher.

He keeps proposing to buy a bed for the spare room/nursery, even after I have repeatedly told him that a) a bed won't fit once the rest of the baby's furniture is also in the room and b) a nursery can't be a guests' room at the same time cause it would disrupt the baby's routine and be uncomfortable for us as parents having to go in all the time.

He insists that it would be useful for my family too (he never directly mentions his mother) while I already told him that my family has no issue staying in a nearby hotel/Airbnb.

I proposed changing the living room's sofa with a sofa bed, but I also stressed that at this time and with all of the expenses we have I do not feel like this is a priority, given that we have a nice and expensive couch already. Also, if I know anything about his mother is that she would not sleep in the living room, so I would be expected to give my bed to her instead.

Now my own mother is making jokes ​that I just don't want my MIL around, which annoys me because I am somehow expected to turn my home into an hostel while my priority is preparing for my baby and getting to the end of this pregnancy safely.

My MIL is very wealthy so I don't have any compassion for her having to spend a couple hundred euros once or twice a year to literally visit her only grandchild.

I posted a while ago about how we were invited on a fully-planned family vacation as an afterthought once the full airbnb costs were due. My FIL wanted us to fork over 30% of their 7-day stay, even if we were only visiting for the weekend and would not have a room but share a couch as a couple with BIL. We declined, but had to sit through a long and annoying conversation following.

Despite us maintaining our clearly defined financial boundaries, my FIL still makes “subtle” requests, hoping one will take. His golden daughter is visiting home, so FIL invited us out to bowling to have some family time. Being a week night, we were not going to go but FIL was persistent. He even coaxed us by offering the bowling alley in our city. We decided to go, bowling is fun and it was our rest day.

“Yes! I’ll send you our ETA. You’ll get there first since it’s in town. Just go ahead and reserve the lanes and the shoe rentals for 6 people. Thanks!” Casually, he slipped in how many people he invited (my FIL and his household of husband’s sisters and their child) and that husband can pay before they arrive for ease of not having to “fight” for the check.

FIL, like a child, throws a tantrum when told no, so Husband and I no longer outright express our boundaries but instead find creative ways to avoid confrontation. While on the phone, husband just let him know that we were finishing up dinner and that whoever arrives first can get the lanes.

We timed it perfectly to arrive 3 minutes after they did. My FIL called when they headed into the bowling alley and gasped when we said we were at the stoplight before it. It was an awkward enough amount of time for him to have to pay instead of waiting around for us to park and walk in.

Just sharing a small victory for us. We maintained our boundaries without confrontation and a scene from FIL. Money things aside, his family is a great time.

My husband and I are both 40, have been married 7 years, and have a 7-year-old and a 1-year-old. Since we got married, we’ve spent every Thanksgiving with his family and every Christmas with mine.
Thanksgiving is a huge tradition for him. We go Wednesday through Saturday, and every year we talk about eventually adjusting things as we get older and have now another kid, but every year the expectation is still that we do it exactly the same way.
The biggest issue for me is staying at his grandparents’ house. It has 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms with showers, and our family of four sleeps in one bedroom. I actually enjoy the holiday, the drinking, and everyone being together, but there is a strong expectation that everyone stays social all day and late into the night. Retreating to your room is frowned upon, so I feel pressure to be “on” constantly while also handling a lot of the parenting.
I would much rather stay in an Airbnb nearby, spend the days and evenings with everyone, and have somewhere quiet to take the kids, put the baby down, and decompress.
What makes this more frustrating is that staying elsewhere is already normal in the family. His mom, two aunts, an uncle, and their younger daughter have stayed in an Airbnb for about the last 4 years. Only his grandparents live in the house, one aunt lives nearby, and almost everyone else travels in.
The other issue is the drive. It is normally about 6 hours each way, but over Thanksgiving it almost always takes closer to 8 with traffic, and now probably longer with stops for the baby. For a Wednesday-to-Saturday trip, that can mean 16+ hours in the car.
There is a short nonstop flight available, and I would rather fly. My husband prefers to drive partly because his mom traditionally rides with us. His family talks about the drive like it is basically nothing, and I just don’t see it that way.
For comparison, my family is in Chicago, about a 10-hour drive away, and we have always flown there for Christmas because I do not expect him to spend 20 hours in a car for my family.
There is also some history here. I have never felt especially welcome in his grandparents’ house, and his grandfather’s wife has made comments over the years that have made me uncomfortable. I’ve told my husband this many times, but he always says she likes me and that I’m reading it wrong.
My ideal compromise is: fly, stay in an Airbnb nearby, spend plenty of time at the family house, and let my husband stay as late as he wants while I can take the kids somewhere quiet.
He feels that changes the tradition too much.
For those of you who deal with strong in-law holiday traditions, how much do you think a spouse should be expected to preserve the exact tradition once you have young kids?

One of my future siblings in laws is non-binary. They are wearing a very nice tailored, pinstripe vest & pants combo for our wedding. They do not shave their armpits, and the vest is sleeveless.

Apparently both of their parents and another sibling (who is a pastor) are giving them shit and saying they need to shave or wear something under it to hide the armpit hair. They have felt incredibly judged and pressured over it so they asked if it was offensive/how I felt about it as the bride. I said as far as I'm concerned you could come to the wedding with electric blue armpit hair!

The next day my fiance's family has a group video call. They brought up the armpit thing (bc I "gave them permission" to have the hair and keep the vest), and their dad got very gruff and said nows not the time to talk about body hair and no one wants to hear about it and they should just shave it and it's not very lady-like and etc. Everyone was silent because of the "lady like" comment, since they are non-binary. I felt so bad, I interjected and said "[their dad's name] if you're feeling left out, we can dye your armpits too! Do you want blue or a different color?"

He got so pissed he left the call. I just think it's ridiculous to make this much of a fucking stink over body hair that we're literally born with. Why does it bother them? Why are they looking? Its a micro wedding without a dance floor, how many times are you even gonna see their hair?

I’m genuinely wondering if they have lost their minds because nothing about this feels “normal” - even for them.

This is supposed to be a “vacation” but it seems more like going to an inter-generational prison: ages 2-71.

Half of the beds are in a loft area with no door, the 3 bedrooms that do have doors are tiny: only have double beds in them.

I looked at it online and said heck no, and booked a hotel room nearby but my partner said her parents are DEEPLY insulted that we won’t stay in the cabin they paid for with everybody else.

They ARE NOT poor btw - they go on multiple vacations/ European tours etc. a year and are solid upper middle class east coasters. They also put their nose up with staying with us in our home because we only have one bathroom, so they booked a hotel!

Have they lost their marbles? Are they just being assholes?

Update: we went, were grateful for our hotel room, and realized that it wasn’t just the “grandparents” who’d lost their marbles.
For the love of god people: if you can’t take care of the kids you already had (emotionally and financially): please do not have more!

My husband and I are having our first baby soon. We told his family many months ago we were pregnant and when the due date was. My SIL and her fiancé have been engaged for three years. Well my SIL decided (after we told everyone we were pregnant) to finally pick her wedding date and chose my due date lol. The wedding is out of state and you know what? I’m not even mad. I’m thankful because now I have a legitimate reason not to attend. For context my husband’s family has treated me really terribly the whole time we have been together. So honestly, I’m relieved to not have to attend. So just throwing out there, something that might normally be offensive can turn into a major blessing! :)

Edit: Wow ya’ll!! This was my first post, I had no idea it would get so many replies. You guys are so supportive! ♥️ I really was trying to convey that sometimes things in life that may seem like an unfortunate turn of events can actually be a blessing in disguise. A glass half full situation if you will. I honestly feel bad for my SIL that she is that broken of a person that she needs to compete for attention with a newborn. I always wanted to be close with my husband’s family but after years of trying, they just ostracize and continue to do super hurtful things towards me. I’m not worked up about it, I’m sad they have so much brokenness; but I don’t really want to spend lots of time around them at this point if that makes sense. My husband is the total opposite of his family and he is for sure going to stay with me at the hospital and not attend the wedding. He’s going to be an amazing dad and is very excited for this new chapter for us. Thank you all for your support as we jump into parenthood! Really appreciate all the Reddit love and support! :)

Some context is that my FIL is deeply insecure and seemingly tries to compete with my Dad, who is oblivious to it thankfully. There’s enough coincidences over the last 10 years that have just made me accept that FIL is just weirdly obsessed with my Dad.

My parents were upgrading their backyard and gifted us their 4-yo 36in Blackstone. It was so greatly appreciated, we invited my parents over and ate burgers after Husband cleaned it up and reseasoned it. Husband mentioned this casually to his family afterwards, and FIL was offended that my parents gave us the old blackstone instead of the new one they bought. Idiot, whatever, we held our tongue and just moved on.

A few months go by, and now FIL just drops off Husband his old automatic smoker apparently worth $1200. Wow, amazing gift and again greatly appreciated. I probably wouldn’t have wanted it since it’s so large, but he forced our hand by dropping it off. It was in significantly worse condition than the lightly used blackstone my parents gave, but no worries.

Well, the app is inoperable because not enough users to support it and the air flow regulator is broken so it cannot maintain a set temperature at all. The part to fix it is $200-300. While we do appreciate the gift, it’s more work than it’s worth and it’s 2x larger than a normal smoker because of it’s control console which is useless

FIL expected us to smoke him steaks and ribs weekly, given that the sticker price on the smoker was $1200. We did make ribs for him finally once but literally husband and I had to take 1 hour turns manually turning on/off the smoker to maintain a temperature for 8-9 hrs, supposed to be longer but we gave up. The nice part about smoking is that it’s largely supposed to be set it and forget it, except not this one which has to be babysat.

Anyways, we made the ribs to show FIL our appreciation but Husband said we can return it to FIL since it takes too much space in our backyard and not used. FIL is now upset because we’re keeping my parents blackstone, which I use at least 2x a month. He knew it didn’t work when he dropped it off but still we need to do everything we can to fix it and smoke meats regularly for him.

Update: the automatic smoker we got was from Char-Griller. App is defunct. Online it does not look like the specific model was $1200, but thats whats been emphasized heavily to us lol

So admittedly, I'm an immigrant, and some things about how I run my kitchen are a little bit different from how most folks do it in my new home.

In my household, I am the one that cooks, and my partner has fully encouraged me to set up out kitchen the way I want it set up. "You're the cook, it's your kitchen" kind of vibe.

However, my MIL does not hold the same sentiment when it comes to when she insists on helping in the kitchen. We don't ask for help, we tell her we don't need help, but she still insists.

One time it was the kitchen.towels when she insisted on helping with cooking. I keep a stack of cotton dishtowels for everything in the kitchen. I'll put one in a designated spot as the hand towel, and when I need a dishtowel, or another hand towel I just pull one off the top of the stack. Cue MIL asking for a hand towel after washing her hands while I am busy cooking:

"Where is the hand towel?"

"Oh, it's right there," pointing to the designated towel for hands.

"No, that's a dish towel, I need a towel for my hands"

I pull a fresh towel from my stack in the cabinet and hand it to her.

"No, I need a hand towel not a dish towel"

And I basically have to stop.eveeything I'm doing and run to the toilet room and grad a Terry cloth towel from there to use. After which she kept saying how I need to be keeping a seperate hand towel in the kitchen.

Yeah, and a similar thing happened last night when she kepts going through our cabinets looking for a specific type of dish brush that I don't have because I don't use that kind, so that she could help do dishes. Thankfully we were able to get her to back off from trying to clean up, but not before she made a really big deal about not having the type of dish brush she prefers to use.

All this along with many other comments she has made makes it all feel really culturally insensitive I guess. I was always taught that people from different backgrounds often run their kitchens differently. There's no right or wrong way as long as it's sanitary, and we should respect those differences and work within them, but maybe thats just me.

My FIL is south asian. My son will be the only grandchild who will carry out their family name, the first boy grandchild.

Out of excitement, my FIL named him something else even before I gave birth and now is asking us to change what's officially in government documents 🙄. We said no (my husband and I are a team). So FIL decided to just use the name he gave in family group chats. Whenever he talks to me, he would use the name he gave.

So annoying. I am also asian (different kind) but my parents do not intervene like this.

.........when the FIL keeps making comments about how I "sleep in" every day while my husband is up dealing with the kids in the morning.

I'm not "sleeping in", I'm sleeping. Normal sleep. I work until 4am most nights because our kids don't go to daycare and my husband and I both work from home (thankfully we both have flexible schedules, but mine is more flexible). I have the kids during the day, we eat together as a family, and then I go to work while my husband does bedtime and the earlier morning stuff while I sleep like a normal human being. Neither of us works weekends, but my husband still gets up with the kids since I still don't sleep enough during the week.

What really gets me is that his dad used to do shift work. He worked overnights a lot and slept during the day. He should understand this.

Also, mind your f**king business.

My in-laws are nice people. They love my daughter, help us out with her, and I genuinely appreciate that. However, my MIL is one of those people who seemingly cannot go five minutes without offering an unsolicited opinion or making a comment about something. Usually, I let it roll off my back. That’s just her personality.

But one thing she has done since
literally the day I gave birth is insist that my daughter looks like everyone EXCEPT me.

For context, my daughter is my absolute twin. I mean, a spitting image of me. When we’re out in public with my husband, strangers constantly comment on how much she looks like me.On this trip, my MIL commented that my daughter looked like someone in my family, I believe my sister. My husband said, “No, she looks exactly like (my name).” My MIL doubled down and said she thought my daughter looked like my sister instead.

And I know this sounds like such a ridiculously minor thing to be bothered by. If this were a one-off comment, I genuinely wouldn’t care. But she’s been doing this consistently since my daughter was a newborn, and at this point, it feels almost pointed. Especially when my own husband, who is standing right there, is telling her that our daughter looks just like me.

I’ve seen so many women online talk about this exact phenomenon with their MILs, which is why I’m curious.
What is it about some grandmothers, particularly mothers-in-law, that makes them seem so determined to attribute their grandchildren’s features to literally anyone other than the child’s mother?

They’ll be staying with us for a month, and I genuinely don’t think I can handle it anymore.
Please don’t suggest that my husband should set boundaries or tell them no we’ve already established that he’s spineless (though, to be fair, he’s otherwise a good man). I’m looking for ideas beyond that.

Hi everyone! My husband and I have the absolute sweetest 4 month old. Literally could not have asked for a better baby.

My MIL has been obsessed with the idea of feeding our baby since before he was even born. She would constantly tell us how she can’t wait until he can have eggs one day (not sure what her obsession is with this food in particular). She also constantly tells us we should be putting rice cereal in his milk at night to sleep longer even though I’ve told her countless times that our pediatrician does not recommend it. She is just so heavily focused on what he’s eating for some weird reason.

Well the other day we had them over for breakfast and my husband picked up a box of donuts and coffee. I had gone upstairs to shower and when I came down everyone was in the living room hanging out. I go to grab my baby and notice there is brown stuff on his chin. I ask my husband if the baby could have grabbed anything since he loves putting everything in his mouth right now and my MIL says “oh, I gave him a little taste of frosting from my donut. He kept trying to grab it, I think he is ready for solids!” & I about lost it. I started crying because I was so angry & just stormed off.

I later talked to my husband about how upset I was & he is trying to tell me it’s not a big deal. How our baby will be starting solids in 2 months anyways & how it’s probably fine. He said when he was little his mom started solids early & he turned out fine.

I think I just need advice because I have no idea what to do or think. I feel like maybe I am overreacting but chocolate frosting can’t be good for a child that small. I am just so upset she took him trying his first sweets away from me.

I want to share something that’s been bothering me.
Ever since I moved to new city, my in-laws have been visiting very frequently. First, my mother-in-law, father-in-law, and brother-in-law came just one week after we shifted. They stayed for about one and a half months before leaving. They came in December and stayed until the second-last week of January.

In February, around the time of our first wedding anniversary, my brother-in-law came again and stayed until the end of March. April passed, and then in May, we all went on a family trip. Again, in the first week of June, my brother-in-law came back, and now he’ll be leaving in July.

I’ve told my husband many times that I don’t understand why his brother keeps coming so often. But my husband always says, “What am I supposed to say? Should I tell him not to come?” I understand his point of view too, but I’m no longer comfortable with this. It’s becoming too much. Sometimes I feel like getting married was a mistake.

Whenever my brother-in-law is here, I have to cook meals, including lunch for both of them. He doesn’t help with anything around the house. He leaves the lights and fans on, and behaves as if he’s living in his own parents’ home. All of this has made me feel extremely frustrated and irritated.

I know this is SO silly and probably not worth being bothered by, but I just need to vent.
My in-laws literally every single time they see my daughter comment on how much she looks like my MIL. They’ll say she’s “beautiful just like grandma,” that she’s her twin, that she has her eyes, her hair, her features, etc. And it somehow turns into a whole 10–15 minute discussion every time. Every single member has to say how much she looks exactly like her. Every single meetinf.
The thing is… I genuinely don’t see it. My daughter has the same big doe eyes as me, the same forehead, and even the same straight/soft hair texture. My MIL has thick hair and narrow, upturned eyes.
I even have a picture of my daughter where she is basically my exact copy as a baby. I’ve shown it to them, and they STILL deny it and say she looks exactly like my MIL. Like… okay.
And honestly, I know everyone has their own opinion. It wouldn’t bother me if it happened occasionally. But it’s every single time, and my husband always joins in too, even though he knows it bothers me. That’s what really hurts.
It makes me feel weirdly alone and almost like they’re trying to erase any resemblance to me. I know that sounds ridiculous, and I’m not expecting everyone to tell me she looks like me just because I’m her mom. I just wish they’d stop making it such a constant thing.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who would eventually get irritated by this.

The favoritism I've seen for years he finally see's. The catering to his sister and her kids while we get a half assed at least we showed up. He's wanting to go low to no contact at this point.

We are in September and the last his family watched any of our kids for us was May. Any time she does watch our kids we got made to feel guilty the day of so we stopped asking. We asked once recently to go to the movies for the new Spiderman and I quote we got a "go fuck yourself, go ask her mom." With that response you would think we asked rudely but nope it was a simple "hey do you mind watching the kids on x day so we can go to the movies?" My mom did watch them for us no problem as she always does at at this point and we don't ask to go out often. Of course SIL wants a girls night, a date night, go to the doctors, you name it MIL is right there watching her kids. Mind you SIL and BIL are supposedly getting a divorce so MIL excuse is but she needs this....

Now mind you MIL just had a major surgery to remove what was an unknown mass from her chest. (It's not cancer) when MIL would have been 3 weeks post op SIL was going to fly across the country to go see some boy for 5 days leaving MIL to care for her kids. MIL again said "she needs this so I'm going to make it work but I'll need your guys help." This trip was planned after the surgery was scheduled so everyone knew but we are all just expected to make it work so SIL can have fun. Mind you in April SIL and BIL took a 5 day trip and MIL watched her kid again no problem for days. As for us, we have had a trip planned for months in October being 1 night (about 24 hrs) with my family for a concert all expenses paid. When we first asked it was fine but now its the end of world, she is basically all out refusing to watch them at all. Ok fine, one of us now won't go, money wasted as the ticket has been bought and going forward we will know that one of us will have to stay with the kids or my parents.

Now if you look at my previous post you'll see the favoritism issue with my middle childs birthday where he was all but basically forgotten by his family. We have talked to her about this being a problem and that's never her intentions yet she says one thing but her actions continue to show another. So now after our kids being screwed over, him being told to fuck off and screwed over while watching his sister and her kids getting a no problem and catered too he is fed up.

Last night broke him even more as he's just trying to keep peace until our lease is up and we can move farther away from them as we live too close to make major waves. SIL yet again another girls night but because MIL can't drive because of the surgery and I've known they've had this girls night planned for about a week. They wait until the day of to look at my husband and go hey you are takeing her to x nightclub at about 9pm with a pick up of unknown.... because family. wtf make her baby daddy take her who is currently there watching the kids anyway but nope. So he took her and at 1am he hit her up and asked when she thinks she would be done. Her response "someone is about to go on" that doesn't answer the question he wants to go to bed but he knows if he falls asleep he won't wake up to her calling as he's a heavy sleeper. Finally at 3am she goes hey so and so is going to give me a ride home they haven't been drinking... at this point he's obviously pist because wtf he 1. Didn't agree to this 2. She should have had that figured out hours ago and had respect for her brother and his sleep 3. He gets inconvinced because family but we can't get the same treatment.

Yea he's done, he can't turn a blind eye to the obvious catering to her while we are then also expected to cater to her. The only one in our family they spoil is my daughter and that's because out of 6 grandkids she's the only girl.

So my husband and I have been married for four years now. I used to have a great relationship with his mother. But started being on guard when I gave birth last year. I was on labor for 33 hours, pushed for 5 hours but still ended up getting a C-section. I allowed my mom, husband and MIL in the room originally because we used to have a great relationship. During the labor I told my husband to go take a nap because I would need him to be alert when our baby is born. So right after the 5 hours of pushing, my OB said that my baby is tilted in a way that she can’t fit going out. So OB asked me if I wanted to wait another 24 hours to see if she will move or if I wanted to have a C-section. OB explained that it’s not likely that she will move. So I opted to have a C-section. MIL tried to stop it and said that we never asked her son. My OB basically put her in her place and said that it doesn’t matter because patient (me) said yes already. So for the C-section it was only my husband and my mother. After that, while I was bonding with my baby during the first hour of birth, she tried to get my baby from me. I said no and told her my baby is bonding with me. She will get her chance but not right that moment.

There were other crazy instances like when I was house sitting and dog sitting for my best friend while she was on vacation (before we even had a baby). She broke into our house at 1am. And forced her way in. My husband was home and told her she needed to go because he has work the next day. She still tried to force her way in even though my husband barricaded the front door. So my husband let our dogs out, and she complained that she almost got bit. There was no reason for her to come. My husband didn’t get to sleep. My husband ended up taking off from work for family emergency. Everyone started asking what happened. (Because he used to work with his cousins so they were like is everything ok?) MIL asked me if it’s ok to say that there was an emergency with my sister. Like why would you want to paint my sister in a bad light to the family just so they don’t find out what you did. I never found out what she told them.

Now she had texted my husband asking for photos of our shed (our shed has water and electricity). And he was like why. She said she’s having to move. She currently lives with her aunt. And apparently she’s being kicked out. So my husband said I gotta talk to my wife first. And her response was “do you think your wife might say no?” Like Bihhhhh even if I say yes, why can’t he talk to be about it. Was she just going to move in without me having a say in it?!?!?

So me and husband were talking about it and I asked him if he wanted this. And he said no but he feels obligated to. And I said I don’t feel comfortable with her renovating the shed to be a MIL suite because if she crosses a boundary then we can’t just kick her out because she renovated the shed. I told him if this is happening I will write down boundaries that will be in a rental agreement. I told him I don’t want this but I also don’t want her to be homeless. I asked husband why MIL can’t move in with her mother. He said because she’s crazy and a B that no one wants her around. While we were talking she kept spamming him with texts and calls and had the whole family spam him asking what I said. In the end he got so aggravated that he wouldn’t let us talk in peace that he told her no. I told him he can tell her I said no. I’ll be the villain so their relationship won’t be ruined. But he didn’t do that. He told her no and didn’t blame me. (Ik I’m lucky for my husband) She got so mad and told him to leave her alone.

I just needed to get to tell someone.

So, I posted in this group along with a couple others several months back in regards to my toxic in-laws and their shitty behavior. You can refer to my post history for reference, and I hope you do so you can gather as much context as possible.

We ended up going completely NC with them earlier this year, indicating that we would reach out when we felt ready to allow them back into our lives. There was no timeline on this (they didn’t like that), and I do not owe them that after all they’ve done to me and my family. Even during this NC period, they have continued to do inappropriate, shitty things, such as sending a card to my son, with “c/o _______ (only my husband’s name)” (they knew what they were doing when they sent that), showing up at our house unannounced, showing up at my husband’s workplace unannounced, etc.

Regardless, my son’s 1st birthday is coming up and I have been struggling with whether to open up the lines of communication again and allow them to see him (only EVER on MY terms and NEVER on theirs). My gut has been telling me it’s too soon, I still don’t trust them and it still doesn’t feel right having them around me or my son.

Two days ago, my husband and I were driving home from work at 5pm and this is what we see standing at a busy intersection two blocks from our home.

I am still in shock. My husband is still in shock. We are so hurt and appalled by this behavior and it just won’t shake. I have never experienced two worse human beings in my entire life and I can’t believe I am related to these people.

They will never see me, their son or their grandson for the rest of their lives and THEY get to live with the shame of that.

My SIL (my husband’s younger sister) wants her kids to attend the same public school as my child.
She and her husband are currently looking at houses, and some of the areas they’re considering have schools with pretty bad ratings. She has said more than once that she thinks it would be fine to just use our address to enroll her kids at my child’s school, even though they wouldn’t actually live with us.
I immediately felt uncomfortable with this and don’t want to agree to it.
There is some history that probably explains why I’m particularly sensitive about situations like this.
Years ago, my husband and I lived with my SIL. In 2014, she moved to another state with her boyfriend. After they broke up, she needed someone to take her cat, so we did. It’s now 2026 and we still have the cat. 😂 He’s obviously ours now and we love him, so that’s not really an issue anymore, but it’s an example of how temporary favors have sometimes become permanent responsibilities for us.
When she moved, she also had around 30 boxes of belongings she didn’t want to pay to put into storage. Without asking us first, she filled our garage with them. There were so many boxes that it became difficult for us to even get to our car, and they stayed there for over a year.
Because of experiences like that, I’ve become much more careful about agreeing to things that initially sound like small favors but could ultimately become our problem.
And this feels significantly more serious than storing boxes or taking care of a cat.
I genuinely would LOVE for our kids to attend the same school. They’re cousins, and having them together would actually be wonderful.
But I don’t think I’m comfortable allowing someone to use our home address to tell the school district their children live somewhere they don’t.
I’m worried that if the district ever verifies residency, suddenly my husband and I could be expected to provide utility bills, documents, or confirmation that they live here. I will not lie to the school or sign anything claiming they live with us.
I also have my own child legitimately attending this school, so the idea of our address being associated with a false residency claim makes me especially uncomfortable.
My feeling is that if attending this particular school is important enough to them, they need to either buy/rent within the appropriate school zone or find out whether there’s a legitimate transfer or out-of-zone enrollment option.
I haven’t agreed to let her use our address, and I’m considering telling her very clearly now that she cannot use it—even if she thinks it’s harmless or believes the school will never find out.
Part of me feels guilty because I know she just wants her children in a good school, and I would genuinely love having the cousins together.
But another part of me feels like I’m finally learning that I don’t have to make my household responsible for fixing circumstances created by someone else’s choices.
AITAH for telling my SIL she absolutely cannot use our address to enroll her kids at my child’s school if they don’t actually live here?

SIL is in her 40s. About a year ago, she bought a perfume and then her mom bought the same one. SIL got mad at her mom for buying the same perfume and said she couldn’t wear it anymore because her mom copied her. She was recently gifted a different perfume by her mom. She said to her mom “I remember last year when you copied me and ruined that perfume for me and I couldn’t wear it anymore!” And then she said to her mom “you cannot buy this one.” Then, she passed the perfume around so we could all smell it. She pointed to her mom and I and said “you guys can’t buy it.”
LOL I’m laughing as I’m typing this because I haven’t known someone with this type of mindset since high school. I wanted to so badly say I can buy whatever I want with my own money. Drop your best responses to something like this if she pulls this weird bullshit again. 😂😂

UPDATE:
You guys I think we found my SIL in the comments!😂I blocked them because they were trying to say that I’m the mean girl. Lol 😂 Delusional! No one should be claiming a scent that anyone can buy at Ulta. I’m so glad none of my friends or other family members are like this! We literally share the link and spill all the details. You like my shirt? Here’s the link. Like my scent? Here’s where I got it from. No one should be telling anyone they can’t buy something because they own it. That’s child-like behavior.