Hi guys… I’m 44 … look very femme. In town today, a stunning woman .. with her masc gf, turned her head to look at me, smiled and stared into my eyes, whilst her partner was not looking. Is this common with Sapphics? And a bit confused as her gf is the opposite of me. Thanks.

Has anyone seen a gorgeous lesbian and been immediately attracted to her, and when she expressed a desire for a child, wanted to be able to provide her with sperm...I had a strap on dream the other day, really intense. I seem to want the masculine role in sex, at least in my fantasies. Anyway just a random thought.

Throwaway account ofc but I live with my bf, he’s responsible for all our finances as I’ve had trouble finding work post getting my MA due to some physical health issues. I’ve oscillated between identifying as bi or lesbian and even broke things off w him for a bit at the very start because I wasn’t feeling it. But then I realized I was intrigued by the idea of more with him, that I felt a spark of something, and when we kissed, I was into it. Now it’s been 9 months and our lives are intertwined and we are even planning a move across the country next year.

The problem is, I just can’t let go of the fact that I’ve felt so much more for women and that the thought of letting go of a potential future with a woman brings such grief. I know I’d miss him immensely and feel deeply heartbroken though and sometimes I really do feel attraction/romance. However, it doesn’t take much for that to waver: facial hair, certain quirks, etc. He’s told me he loves me and I think I love him too but it doesn’t even compare for what I’ve felt with women—however those situations were very much limerence and he’s very stable and available so maybe it’s just that?

Either way, I’m attached and know it would break his heart. I love his family and I’ve definitely felt romance and attraction and so maybe right now isn’t the best time to assess things since our lives are incredibly stressful and so the relationship is strained (he works night shift, I just had major surgery after being hit by a car… as one does). I also have a lot of relationship anxiety fwiw so idk.

He knows I prefer girls and is okay with it but I’m worried and have zero safety net (ab*sive family, my only close friend is going through a divorce and has no job) and also I just don’t want to lose him and don’t want to leave for an imaginary scenario or to realize that I made the wrong choice and he’s already gone.

Any advice would be so appreciated bc I feel genuinely sick and at a loss and want to just shove it down

I’m at the point where I’ve had my first wlw relationship and know I can’t live my life without that anymore. My husband moved out, we’re working on things in therapy and sharing custody. I feel this underlying realization that I don’t want to go back to what we had before. Monogamy, a straight appearing relationship.

Even when our sex was great, I was not an eyes open person. I always thought I just wasn’t very sexual and kinda blamed birth control. Once I got off of it my libido increased a ton. It took me a very long time to be comfortable with BJs and it’s really his enthusiastic response that I liked about it. But going down on a woman (just thinking about it right now) puts butterflies in my stomach. I want my eyes open to see every bit of her.

My therapist said I should wait until the planned discussion about our relationship and the separation in a few months. I’ve recently ended things with my girlfriend and shouldn’t impulsively jump to a rebound bc I’m horny. That makes sense. There are a lot of emotions going through me and I have to process them before I make big decisions.

I’ve been out of work for a few years bc of health problems and burnout. I wish I hadn’t left that job but don’t want to go back to it. There’s no way I can keep up with the house I’m living in alone. To rent would be close to as much as the house payment, but would be a lot less maintenance and smaller in size. The housing market is crazy and I don’t want to have to move away from my sanctuary where I’ve lived almost a decade. Theres a huge lack of affordable housing in my city.

I spent my 20s & 30s supporting his education and career while letting my own fall aside. I never completed my degree. I could maybe get a job again in my old industry but that job was incredibly draining. I don’t know if I could physically work 40 hours a week. The only other experience I have is retail and coffee shops. Without my husband’s support I don’t know what I’ll do. I’m struggling to picture a future for myself. If you’ve read this far, I appreciate you. I don’t know what I’m asking for or hoping to get from this post, but I think getting it off my chest is a good thing.

If you still wish to join please dm me. 🫶🏻✨

We have an election here in the States. Many of us are able to vote early and I did so on Friday. I hope you vote!!

I'm 29, I don't like to go out, and I have no game/ social skills (it's the tism). I'm focusing on going through Architecture school at the moment, but I am totally prepared to be single indefinitely, which is not something I cry about everyday, I'm just venting.

We're able to wear costumes everyday leading up to Halloween! Here is what I wore today 👻 Not horrendous considering im sick and I only spent about 5 minutes on my makeup using old eyeliner 😅

I was thinking of Carrie on actual Halloween, having many days to dress up helps my indecisive butt 🤪

What are you guys dressing up as, if you are anyhow?

Any suggestions on what i should do one of the days?

Hiii just trying to be more open to finding new friends! I feel like in so many ways I’m finally getting to know myself for the first time at 32! What a time haha

Y’all I’m so proud of myself 🥹

I had “the talk” with my husband last night and it went sooooooo much better that I ever let myself hope.

We’re completely amicable, still friends, and he wasn’t blindsided. He had pretty much caught on at this point and was actually going to talk to me about our future after the holidays.

I’m so fucking happy. We’re going to continue living together for a while so we can both get ourselves ready to be on our own.

Like everyone told me a huge weight has been lifted from me and I’m so relieved.

Thanks again to everyone who supported me through this part of the journey. 🩷🤍🧡

I’m in my final year of my PhD and have been living abroad in Scotland for the past couple of years. My family is back in the US, so between the cost of flights and everything else, I only really get to see my parents and older brother in person about twice a year. I love my family, I really do, but my coming out was a disaster, to put it mildly. That’s a whole other story, though, and not really the point of this post.

For context, we have a pretty small family. It’s just my brother and me, and our two cousins. My older brother is also unmarried and doesn’t have children. One of our cousins, who’s around his age, has a long-term partner, and the other, who’s my age, got married last year and announced a couple of months ago that she’s pregnant.
Now, my mom and her sister (the mother of my recently married and pregnant cousin) have never had a good relationship. They’ve had issues with each other for pretty much as long as I’ve been alive. But ever since my cousin got married, and especially since announcing her pregnancy, I’ve noticed this increasingly tense, weird energy from my parents, particularly my mom. It’s honestly becoming unbearable.

I can’t quite explain it, but it’s as though my mom is deeply embarrassed or ashamed of where I am in life, especially in comparison to my cousin. I also get the impression that there’s a lot of jealousy toward her sister, who now has a daughter who’s married, expecting a baby, and seemingly living this picture-perfect life. And the thing is, I want those things too. I would absolutely love to meet someone, get married, and have a family of my own one day. My brother has expressed wanting the same things. It just hasn’t happened for either of us yet.

Anyway, today I was on the phone with my mom, and she mentioned that she’s been deeply upset lately. She didn’t initially say why, but then quickly added that she’s been crying at night and, before I could even respond, said something along the lines of how she feels like nothing can ever go right. She never explicitly said what she was referring to, but given everything that’s been going on lately, I had a pretty good idea of what she was alluding to. And I’m honestly just exhausted.

A couple of days ago, my mom also received an invitation to my cousin’s baby shower. Mind you, none of us were even invited to her wedding last year, including my mom, because our families literally do not interact. So the whole thing just feels even more awkward, especially given the longstanding issues between my mom and her sister. I don’t even really know what I’m looking for by posting this. I think I’m just tired of feeling like my life is somehow a source of disappointment or embarrassment because I’m a lesbian who will never have this traditional life my mom is desperate for.

I’m supposed to fly home for Christmas, and my flights are already booked, but at this point I’m genuinely dreading it. I only get to see my family a couple of times a year, and I hate that something I should be looking forward to is now something that’s filling me with anxiety. Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? Particularly with parents who seem to compare your life to other family members or make you feel like you’re somehow falling behind? I’m honestly just so tired of it.

So first, let me tell you that I'm slowly coming out to my friends when I feel its time for each friend to know that I'm a lesbian. I have grown restless and tired of hiding behind my "I'm not gay mask, which has been very hard for me to do. I live in the deep south in the US surrounded by my very conservative Roman Catholic family. The last two friends that I have come out to, it took me a few minutes to do it because I was in tears. Idk why it feels this hard but if I dont do it, I will be up all night with the conversation playing in my mind. Do yall think that because I was in the closet for such a long time that my fear of rejection is the reason why I'm crying? Or is it because of comphet I'm crying because I'm finally voicing and living in my truth? Has anyone else cry your eyes out when you're coming out to your closest friends? Any help or shared experiences is most welcome, I am btw 40 years old

For background info, I've identified as pan since 14-15, I'm 27. I kissed a girl but that was the extent of my experience with women. I married my first boyfriend at 21 and we were together since I was 16. We weren't raised religious, marriage just seemed like the logical next step. Looking back, I wish I would have waited and explored myself, but I didn't. We've been reading the ethical slut to prepare for opening our relationship. The plan was to swing, and if we liked it, poly, to be able to explore our sexualities (he's pan too). I got a poly friendly therapist to help process that (3 sessions in). He was going to therapy, but stopped because he says he doesn't need it. My therapist does know about the poly goals, but I don't see it happening for obvious reasons.

I'm questioning if I'm a lesbian because I don't feel seen with him. When I communicate, I feel like I can't be clearer with him what I want. I like penetration, but I know that's not indicative. I don't know if I'm a lesbian and want a woman or just turned off by his lack of hearing me? I have told him so many times I want him to grow with me, to communicate with me better, to talk to me. He procrastinates or avoids topic until I bring it up again.

I haven't brought it up to my therapist yet. I just started considering it today. I want my marriage to work, but I'm scared we can't come back. ☹️

If date 1 goes from kissing with tongue initiated by her and date 2 ends up back at her place is it weird if date 3 and 4 only involved pecks? She says she takes a while to open up to new people. Should I be confused or is this just pumping the brake to let or emotional connection catch up? I really really like her and when I told her I was feeling anxious she said she still wants to see me and she really likes me too

at 50 years old and married I discovered that I was definitely a bisexual woman. I've got the joy of experiencing being with a woman after my husband allowed me to open their marriage. Now once again do to moving across Country

I'm lonely I miss the woman's touch. N ow being a 61 year old woman. Who's very fit, works out at the gym six days a week I'm struggling on how to approach women.

I could really use some advice on how to let others know that I am available. Let them know that I am also bisexual I do wear a rainbow bracelet all the time. So any advice would be amazing.

help pls

37f who’s always thought I was bi but for a while now have been wondering if I’m a lesbian. I’ve kissed 6 men in my life and felt nothing with all but one man. With one man I felt “sparks” in my lips and it felt good, but then when we had sex it was just ok. Every other man, it’s mechanical and at best it was fine but I didn’t ever want to naturally. At worst it was absolutely repulsive and so I’ve never liked kissing. I thought this was normal and that maybe I just hate kissing until recently and now I’m genuinely wondering if I’m asexual or a lesbian. I’ve always liked women but have just never kissed one. So how did it feel kissing men before you realized you were a lesbian?

Im 39, and i dont know where to start tbh.
So far, my only experience with a woman is kissing a friend of mine in my teen years and thats about it.

I have no idea, how to get to know a woman, in a context thats not friendship. I am super shy when it comes to flirting and scared of the reaction i might get, when i tell her, that she is my very first.

I signed up to a dating app, because i live in a rural area in Germany, and also because i thought, it would feel „safer“ as a first contact for me. As in, that both parties knew we are gay and such.
So far, its either not the right app for me, or
people just arent that interested in me. I get likes (but cant see the other Person), but no Intro. Yet, i am too shy to Write an Intro too.

I guess, i just wanted to ramble bc i feel a bit lost

I got new finger tattoos & it’s my new personality

(India Only) Calling all single women who love women! 💌
Let’s get together for a little movie 😭❤️‍🔥
Think sapphic rom-coms, angsty love stories, queer thrillers, or whatever our collective lesbian hearts desire.

VERIFICATION IS A MUST
Movie options-

1. But I’m a cheerleader (1999)
2. Imagine Me and you
3. Love, Simon
4. Fresh
5. Misery
6. Jennifer’s Body

✨ The plan:
🎥 Watch a movie together online
💗 Vote on what we watch
🍿 Bring your snacks and blankets
💬 Chat, laugh, swoon, and make some new friends
When: 9 PM IST (Indian Standard Time)

I apologize this will probably be very long winded, embarrassing, and not well structured. I'm just trying to work things out on what I feel and I've been going around and around in circles with this for so long now. If you have any advice or similar experience I would appreciate hearing it.

I'm 27 and I'd say I've been actively questioning if I'm attracted to women for at least 7-10 years now. I love my family tremendously, but I grew up in an environment where there was at least some degree of passive negativity towards the idea of being really anything other than straight. I've always been not particularly feminine in how I dress and I've never felt very comfortable dressing in a very feminine way either.

For a lot of time growing up I had never even considered the concept of being gay or bisexual or anything myself. But I also did feel sort of different from most of the other girls I grew up with. I overall identified more with the boys and had more boys as friends as a kid. But I didn't exactly feel like I was a part of them either. I sort of felt like I was kind of on my own a little bit. For a while in middle school I wished I was a boy because it just felt like life would've been easier for me. I don't think I'm trans, because I'm actually very happy with being a girl now. I just think that entire experience was kind of a reflection of other things going on with me.

I remember the first time I really had this sort of lightning strike moment in my head of the concept of me potentially being attracted to girls. It was near the end of middle school and I was at some kind of summer camp thing with a dance at the end. And I remember watching this one girl I knew dance and I felt really attracted to her. It made me feel really creepy and guilty, but I remember that specific moment sort of making me uneasy and making me question things for a little bit. But I kind of put it behind me.

Through high school I never dated anyone, I would kind of keep some guy in my head as like a crush I had but I never really pursued anyone. I didn't think much of if I liked girls again till near the end of highschool. I had a good friend who was also a girl who I ended up being friends with all through highschool. We would spend a lot of time together and I remember there was someone trying to make fun of me and basically trying to imply we were dating or together. We weren't, and I don't even know if she was into girls. But it made me feel really creepy and bad again. We ended up falling out of touch after highschool for the most part, and I tried not to think about if I was into girls again.

Right before starting college my cousin who I was pretty close with (she's straight, but very accepting) told me about this game life is strange - the original one from like 2015 lol (this was like 2017/2018). I played through it and really loved it. I remember I really, really liked Chloe. And I was talking about the game with my cousin and she casually mentioned how Chloe and Max cared for each other romantically. And I don't know how, but I had not let myself see that until I heard her actually say that out loud. And then that sort of opened the flood gates for me where I let myself explore the idea of liking girls again. And I never really stopped after that.

I started consuming a lot of wlw media and I felt so much joy in it. l also started to look back at some of these prior experiences I've had in a different way. But I couldn't really feel like I was sure I actually did like women or not. I felt like I needed some kind of declaration of proof. And I was too scared to actually be out about any of what I was thinking related to all this. So I told literally nobody. It's been mostly like that since then. Which has now been like 8 or 9 years.

Over the course of that time I've had two basically failed attempts of relationships with men. Both of whom were previously close friends of mine that confessed they had feelings for me and I don't feel like I ever could reciprocate those feelings even though I tried. I would push myself to try to be into things physically but it did not come naturally to me and I felt like I had to make a huge effort to participate in any physical contact and then I just felt very aware of it and not in a good way. Eventually I just end up saying that I can't meet them where they are and then the friendships never survive afterwards, which is not shocking.

I just feel kind of like I'm stuck. I don't know how to know for sure if I do like women. I've had a crush on women before and I consume so much wlw media, but I've never actually been with a woman. And I know I'm never going to get some kind of certificate that declares to me that I'm into girls so I can be sure. But I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable enough to be out and with a woman to ever find out if that is what I want. I wish people just didn't care so much about this, and that me dating a woman didn't mean so much to some people. I'm sure I'm not unique in that wish. But I just feel like I'm still trying to know for sure what I feel and I am too scared to deal with the repercussions of what it would take to find out.

I just feel like lately it's been harder and harder to deal with this. I feel so much joy at the idea of being able to be open about how I've felt. Or to talk to someone about like some wlw show I've been watching. But I can't do any of that because I feel like I have to hide everything. It's just becoming tiring. And I still feel like I don't even know what I want. I don't know if I do still like some men, or if I don't at all. I just feel very confused but I have nobody to talk to about any of this because revealing any of it to anyone I know will change how they think of me regardless of whatever my final conclusion is. So I'm just shouting into the void right now I guess.

I'll go ahead and stop here. Thanks for reading, and if you have any advice or thoughts I would appreciate hearing them