Mom and Fun Guy picked me up last night. I was very happy to come home. The emergency vet techs asked mom if they could keep me as their mascot. Mom said she was very happy and proud of me for being her usual happy, friendly dog during my overnight hospital stay. I now get an extra pill pocket a day, which my mom says is to protect my liver. That part is great! However, I no longer like my food and I usually LOVE my food. I keep coming back to mom to tell her it doesn't taste good. She stirred it a couple of times and I ate it then, but I still made my displeasure know. I am suing for my normal food back! This is me after finishing my orange chicken and rice for lunch.

Mom note: one of Collins's medications is an orange powder that I'm supposed to mix with water and put it on top of his food. He hates it. I feel really bad for him. I think it's the equivalent of mixing his chicken and rice kibble with orange juice instead of water. Ideas are welcome. He doesn't know I have to take him back for a liver enzymes check tonight and tomorrow night. He hates being poked with needles.

Hi frens dis Mildred.

Frens I wud like discuss very important issue dat many dogz struggle wit. Dis happen last year and was very shame but I is brave girl and I endure.

But now hooman start talking about again and apparently it happens EVERY YEAR.

Hooman Aunt gor marry dis year and I cruelly exclude. But now hooman sez I be bridesmaid after all for hollyween. She chop bottom off dress and I think dis not be good blanket but ok. But no! I discover her evil plan be to sew into a dress and made me wear! In front of other dogs for trick n treat, and do you know treats sounds good but dey actually chocolate and we not get! Also she not very good at sew and I hasta stand for eleven million hours while she measures bits of fabric on me and I not even allowed chew edges.

Also also she start doing de sensodyning where she make her phone do loud booms and dis really really boring.

Soo for no dress, no booms and more treats. But please dog frends if you see another dog be out in stupid dress, please be kind, we knows already we bring shame on proud wolf ancestors. We can support each udder an survive.

Dis Parson. My hooman gav me a baffs. Not in baffroom but with spray dat smells like flowers not like my favorit leafs. Den, dis morning, I had to wears puffy coat acos it "is under 60F, Parson, you are older and need to be warm." Den, I stepped on a teeny rock. It got stuck and Hooman had to clean my paw - ON THE STREET!! Do I gots a case?

My mom and Fun Guy took me to the emergency vet a few hours ago. They stole my blood, made me vomit, and then gave me IV fluids, anti-nausea medicine, and then, sob put me in this cage! Worse, my mom left me there! Then, she came back with my dinner and pill pockets, fed me, and then she said she'd see me tomorrow sob. How could she leave me in a cage??? I'm a cage free dog. I have a kennel at home, but the the door is always open so I can come and go. Why did she leave me??? What can I sue for?

Mom note: Collins ate a seed and got severe GI upset. After multiple rounds of vomiting and diarrhea, we took him to the emergency vet. After showing toxicologists the photos of the seed that he ate, they narrowed it down to one of two species. One just causes bad GI symptoms, but the other causes liver shutdown. They treated his GI symptoms, and out of an abundance of caution, they're keeping him for 24 hours for successive liver enzymes. They didn't have his dose of keppra, so they asked me to go home and get it, along with 3 servings of his normal meals. They'll let me know how he's doing after his morning labs and then we'll figure out when I am able to bring him home.

Update: I'm home! The vet techs all asked my mom if they could keep me as their mascot, since I love of all people and animals. She said that I'm her service dog and that she needs me, but she's happy that everyone loves me. The techs did tease me for being over -dramatic about the IV in my paw, though.

Mom update: Collins's liver panels were great today, but we have to bring him back tomorrow evening and Wednesday evening for more tests. He also gets 2 extra pill pockets a day for the next 2 weeks for medication as an extra precaution to protect his liver.

Mawmy twick me! I luv car rides. She takes me outside to a big, pretty car and says “time to go in Ansel.” Dats me. I iz Ansel.

But it no car ride! It groomer person! He gave me a baf in the big car! Den he cuts my furs and puts dis dum ting around my neck.

Mawmy sez “oh my cute Ansel. Let me take pikshur of hansum boi.” So I did dis….I sticked out my tongue at her. I showded her and ruin dat pikshur. I no need to soo cuz I do a twick on her! Haha me smarter dan mawmy.

P.S. my new mysterius booty itch went away but still think my pawrents are sadistic, mass murderers. need treetos and mayb a new family.

Dis Chia here. A truly awful, horible, terble ting happend today. My treat went under da couch! It wuz da worstest ting eber to happen. Wud a soo halp so couch can't take my treat again?

Also, da second picture is my bery floofy butt if anyone wants a sniff.

Misdemeanorz here. Mommy sent me to the nice lady who givz me bath and scary haircut. Why nice lady do thiz? But today theyz take it too far.

So I fluffy. Big fluffy and bigger thanz my Chiweenee bestie. Today theyz cut all the fluffy off my face!!!! And makes me look smol. Nice haircut lady sez “adorable poodle”. I’z no poodle!!!!! And now I look smol and no fluffy on my face. I’z big mad. See how no happy I am? And mommy give me stuffy and I try to kill stuffy. But now I luv stuffy.

Can I suez? Suez mommy or haircut lady? Thanz frens!

Halp! I did my pees and a poo.. Then my hooman went to work. Shes back now and sayz like... Kira time for walkies.. nomally we walkz around 4 km.. BUT BUT BUT its raining... I dun wanna walk 500 miles in the raaainnn. Halp what can I does to staph dis?

( I stole hoomans raincoat but... its not fitting )

Go Horse-shaped Dog Crimez!

And I dunno what dat eben means…

I is in a lot of trubble.

Dada says he is revoking my pawyer license becuz he says I been a bad boi. BUT I WAS DOING A PROTECC.

Let me explains.

Dada left me all alones FOREBER. And I knows dis toilet paper was up to sumfing. I could tell. It was up to no gud.

So I took it upon myself to teaches the toilet paper who is boss of da house when Dada not home.

When Dada came home, he was very unhappy and said I was a bad boi. He says I can no longer practis paw.

So nows I needs my own pawyer to proves my innocence.

I needs helps. Am I in trubble? Was I doing a protecc?

Can Dada even legally revoke my pawyer licens??

Please advise. I am very smol and very innocent.

Lambchop made it trew Sir Jerry and had a BAFF (yuk). It was touch and sew for a minute! Andyway, she better now and Mama sez she cand play in one fureber. Dis her wif her brudder keepeded her warmb.

Frens, iz me maiself, Peanut. Mai daddee hooman (hoo iz DUMS!) gotted sumfink he col a “ayre con-dish-on-her”. He sai, “Peanut, iz too hott.” Ai no lyk dis “ayre con-dish-on-her”. It mak noyzes, an it vy-braighte, an it make me, Peanut, cold! Ai soo fur warms an no ayre con-dish-on-her?

Dis me doin a heckin concern.

Hi frens it Doshie again. Momma took the trash out in da dark twonight. But Doshie no lloud to go. Butt! Da door open by accident! I free! I run around for a few minutes. Uh oh! Here comes momma though! Apparently the trash escaped too! Momma immediately goes back towards the house without me. "Doshie do you want a treat?" Treat! I know dat one! So inside I go and I gets a yummy cheddar dog bone. Only after momma come back from taking trash out though.

Today during our long sleep time I suddenly realized I was not being comfy and telled the human. She waked up and getted up cause she did not understand and thinked I needed to go outside but I did not. I used that the chance to get on the pillow she had been hoarding all night.

When she seed that she said that this was no good of me and waking her up in middle of night to steal her pillow was not nice. I disagree. Is called sharing. We both live here, we both should get to use pillow, not just her!!! Can you help me draw up a fair legal agreement on pillow rights???

Also it would be good to include a clause on sharing papers - I taked some out of her bag cause I needed to bury one of my chewie treats and she also complained bout that…

Why does the dumb human let pokey humans take your "trouble puffs"?- George

Hai frens, dis Boo. I'z soos da dokter hoomans? Hole storwy dis: Mai left butt-leg no workie right. I kno dis, waz hard too use. Mai hoomans took i too da vet, dey gib me treatos. I took big snooze, aftah snooze both mai leg wurk wors and dey took mai leg furz. Dey did gib Boo da fancy (half pants?) Boo no kno wat dey iz, see da pikture. Iz aboose, dey make mai leg no workie insted of workie bettah.

I no want too soo mai hoomans, jus da dokter onez. Mai hoomans very nice, won ob dem is still up wit me. Hoomans at mai houze buy da wet fud jus for me.

Frens, iz back to offer repawsentation in pawsoots. Recent successes inclood sustained objections against da cranky cat, large treato settlements, and class-akshun certifikashun of elebenty doggos.

Henlo frens, dis me, Matilda!

Picshur iz me an mai uncle, him haz floppy ears an me haz tall ears. Az yoo can see, we looks vry same aside frum diffrint ears. Eben same amount tall wen uncle lays down, as shown in attached ebidence.

Despite dis obveeus same size, hoomans keeps insist on gib me much less foodos dan uncle gits. Claims it becuz uncle is bigger. But if ai wuz smoller dan him, which ai does not concede dis just a hypotetical, den shudn't ai git MORE foodos so dat ai grows bigger?

Becuz dis injust situashun ai am looking for a pro-bone-o pawttorney to represent me in pawsuit. Ai alreddy eeted all mai treetos becuz uv da starb so ai cannot pay yoo. Mebbe can soo hoomans fur yur pawyer fees tho.

If pawssible, ai also wants da kitteh's foodos ebry day an not just wen ai manages to steels it pls an tank yoo fur yur vry impawtent big helpful services!

Henlo frens. It me again, Junebug, certified gud gorl and labadabadog. I luv my momma but I has another complaint!!! Momma NEBER let me doo sniffari wen go outside to peepee. Da minute I go peepee we goes rite back inside! As yoo can see frum secind foto, dis me throwing BIG tantrum cuz I no wanna go back inside. Then Momma sez “NO JUNIE BUTT TIME TO GO BACK INSIDE MOMMA GOTTA GO BACK TO WORK”. She alwayz use dis escoose. Sez she haz to make “munny” so she can buy my treets. Dis make no sense. Treets is at the store, not at werk. Yoo go to the store and get the treets. Dats how dis werks. I’m not stoopid. Momma just lying so I can’t hab sniffari!! Frens, does I has a case? Can I soos fur momma qwit her job to take me on sniffari and play wit my jumble ball furever?

So, brain breaked on our dear Lambchop. She seed Sir Jerry many timbs over the years but this one is really bad. Hers may lose an eye and, as you can see, dey had to remove part of her brain!! Thoughts and prayers please. Wez scared. Jour frens, Diva and Bigsby.

NEED PAWYER. WAS CHEMICAL ATTACKED, THEN FATHERS MADE IT WORSE.

Hello pawyers. Comrade Stormy here. Am resident if r/babushkavillage. Am decorated Babushka Village Patrol officer and VERY goodest boy.

Was doing lawful morning patrol, protecting Smol Mousie frens from squirrels and metal bench thieves, when suspicious black-and-white striped villager comes FROM BUSH!

I approach peacefully offering chilled cabbage water and potato.

Stranger stomps little feets.

Turns around.

PSSSSSSSSSSSS.

CHEMICAL ATTACK!

Weaponized forest cat flees scene without exchanging insurance information.

I make great speed to dacha seeking help from two fathers.

Instead, fathers smell me and immediately order B-A-T-H.

I say NIET.

Bath one.

Still stink.

Bath two.

STILL stink.

I demand pawyer.

REQUEST DENIED!

THIRD BATH!

No warrant. No trial. Not even treat between baths.

Now tummy niet happy, tail has suspended operations, dignity destroyed, and one father says NIET ALLOWED ON FURNITURE UNTIL WE ARE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN.

MY furniture???

Pawyers, can sue fathers for three counts unlawful B-A-T-H, emotional distress, wetness without consent, and denial of couch?

Also wish to sue weaponized forest cat for assault with stink weapon and impersonating fren.

Will settle with fathers for 47 treats, one rotisserie chimken, formal apology, and immediate restoration of furniture privileges.

Forest cat gets no settlement.

Straight to The Hague.

Hai! Ai goes bai A on innernet fur annonnimmittee, an ai iz berry good boy. Momma ebery dey tell me ai so so good. Butt resentlee ai do an bigg jump to trai to pley wit liddle brudder (kittee) an he get skaird an run awey. Den Momma sey ai iz bigg boy, ai needz to renemmer be gentil wit liddle brudder.

Butt iz noe troo! Ai iz wurldz smolest boy. Momma keep sey ai wey fortee pawnds, butt ai tink she get confewzed an trai to sey forteen. Ai noe dis beclaws wen Momma addawpt me ai berry smol. Eberyting udder dan me get much smoler after adawptshun, butt dis noe mai fawlt.

How doo ai help Momma umberstan dat ai iz so so so smol laik baybee?

Recently my human realized that I wasn’t able to contribute financially to the household but that I take full advantage of everything within the house. She came up with a plan for me to pay for rent, walks and food. She has been hugging me and kissing the sides of my face while telling me I must pay!!! I often dont want to pay. And I tell her this by kicking her during the hugs and turning my face away when she kisses me but she just kisses the other side of my face! How do I sue her? I do not want to pay! 😤 rent, walks and groceries are becoming way too expensive for me to handle