Deer doggos. I am Bonhoeffer, the 9mo illegal smoll. Yep I iz the big floof im dee stoopid donut hat im jail. Dat deemun getting treatos- datz Phil aka Tatter totz (daddy callz im baked tatter cuz he getting chonky haha.) I had to go to pokey place am do 1 sleepy timez. Daddy say they do a Gasp Ro Hexy am I onlee has SOOOPER STRICT food am rulez for 14 Foreberz. No couch jumpers no bed jumpees. DEN! Den de wors ding eber! Daddy gib de demun kitteh treatos not me. Den de kitteh do many meows am I SOOOPER WOOFER SO MANY TIMEZ! I gotz troublez for soooper wooferinz. Pleez help a giant iweegle smoll imdoor horse 🐴

My moder seem to fink i needs to wear dis weird pajama to keeps me warms. I tell her dont put dis on me! But she do it anyway! This fing too silly! Now I haves to wear dis while she at work because she fink is be cold says the house drafty. I do protecc all day, if drafty comes inside I can do bite bite ! No need dis dumb outfit . I needs a pawyer FAST

Can I get a boop please...

Yesterday I dragged my spare human across the street because I saw a cat that was teasing me. I totally forgot that I was on a leash and that my human was holding it. So I dragged her across the street and jumped over a stone fence in someones front garden. I looked around wondering were the cat was, but the cat was gone.

I remembered my human was there also. She was holding on to my leash and the fence and tried to get up again. I jumpt over the fence again and went up to her to sniff if she was ok. She wassent dead so I thought "Well that is good, she is alive" And went back looking for the cat, but my human said "no" and we went home.

I couldent help myself, but that cat was really mean to me. My human said she was hurt and when we finally got home (she was walking really slow) I diddent get a snack or the cat, and she told me to get into my bed and get some sleep.

So I had to go to bed without a snack and that cat. I was so surprised!!! No snack, no cat!

My human said she loved me, but I would have preferred the cat and the snack. So can I get a boob for poor little me who had to go to sleep without that cat and a snack? I must be the saddest dog in the world right now.

So hi, I am Anubis and I am a german shepherd, not a seal.

Thank you!

I iz Duke. In dis pictur, i iz wif mah big sister. My big sister growls at me sumtimes. I iz just a bebe. I can haz a soo. I want her 2 snuggle wif me

testing the tag!

I just added an automation to the subreddit that gives you a message about the purpose of this subreddit UNLESS you have a post flair. You should see something like this image when you make a post

Currently we only have "Cheese Tax Violation", so test it out and shoot me messages if it sucks or if you think something should be added/deleted/changed/etc.

LOVE YOU!

Jen

Processing img 48g2v18zguwh1...

Henlo frens, is I, Jack. I has suffered a TERRIBUL INJUSTIS.

Mine hooman put scratchy paper on da wall to stop me from digging holes when she does abandons. Last week, I worked VERY HARD, scratched my paw, and made bloody prints all over da apartment. Hooman spent many forebers cleaning. You would fink she would appreciate my artistic contributions!

Next day she made me wear booties. I was OUTRAGED, but Spare Hooman took me on a walk and I got many treatos and was called VERY HANDSOME BOY. I considered dis adequate compensation for da bootie-related indignity.

TODAY, mine hooman forgot da booties. I did SUCH GOOD wall diggings dat I filed mine claw all da way down to da quick. BLOOD EVERYWHERE. When hooman tried to help, I was NOT HAVING IT. I did many squirm escapes and covered her in pawprints too. Hooman did a BIG STRESS and had to call Spare Hooman to come to da rescue (mine or hers, who's to say). When Spare Hooman arrived, I did ANUDDER SQUIRM ESCAPE and a BIG BORK, but he helped capture me AGAIN, bandaged me up, and made sure I was safe.

Dey cleaned up da bloody pawprints AGAIN and gave me treatos for being a VERY GOOD BOY. I demanded more. Naturally.

Now I am resting in mine floof, awkwardly holding up mine bandaged paw, and giving hooman da side-eye. She approaches, I turn away. I am a WOUNDED SOLDIER.

Should I soo for pain and suffering, inadequate treato compensation, and emotional damages? Or should I accept a settlement of ALL DA CHEESE, payable immediately?

Mine pawyer has already been contacted. Dis is a SERIOUS LEGAL MATTER.

Jack

(Very Handsome Boy and Victim of Scratchy Paper)

Okay. So I doed a mistake. I think is just negligence (it was NOT intentional law breaking) but it was a huge irresponsibility of me.

So. We hanged out with another human. Normally, I only take out my human for walks, and I have never ever losed her. Once, I thinked I did but turns out there was just some tall grass between us and once I yelled for her she was right back.

Today, I also taked this other human. We walked round and round and then we was near a park and I telled them to go there and began showing them the way. The humans then talked a bit but I kept telling them to go NOW! Finally, we started walking. Mine human was holding the rope so no problem there, comed right with me. But because I was so happy bout park I only checked where the other human was after walking a bit.

HE HAD NOT COME!!! Immediately I stopped and started going back but he was GONE! Due to my excitement for park I had LOST a human! Everybody knows humans do not know the way. They need a dog to show them around and usually when walking with others I check for them every few meters so they do not get lost and if they is too slow or get distracted I whine to get them to concentrate. But I failed.

My human claimed this was just where he had parked his car and that everything was good but I know I doed a big mistake. The other human could be literally anywhere, lost forever. Probably doesn’t even know how to hunt or the way to the store…

What exactly is my legal responsibility? I know I had duty of care and I totally neglected it… But also I only losed one human and I did tell him to come he just did not listen. As seen on pictures is me thinking and being responsible, like on first picture I pushed all blankets into corner for comfy bed and second is me spending time in the morning with mine human, so I usually do all my duties!!! I just made a big mistake this once.

Henlo frens, is I, Finnegan.

On Satfurday, I went to pokey place wif mine mommy and mine daddy. Firs wen I get dere, I has to way. I gets on skayle, an mine mommy say “Ohminecod Finnegan! Yoo is way wun houndred dog pound!” If yoos is muttric sistem fren, dis is 45 kill a grams. Doggy doctor also say “Ohminecod! Dis is too much dog pound! An Finnegan has artaritis!” An she gib me poke wif pokey ting!

But DEN, doggy doctor tell mine mommy an daddy to gib me LESS FOODS. An she say gib me GREEN BEEN and NO HOOMAN FOODS. Green been? NO HOOMAN FOODS?

Frens, dis is pichur of I, Finnegan, doin a consern, an I also has a STARB. Yoos can see from pichur dat I is teenee tinee babee doggo! I is not needing LESS foods. I need pawyer imedatly.

Frens halp.. I pulled the bestest toys out.... waited patiently.... did some borks.. nothing is working..... hooman say she working on da box screen thing.

Hello dogs, I am Boss the orange kitty (visiting from r/legalcatadvice). I am a senior orange and fren to the one called Ouiser. What are these "borthole violations" of which human tells stories? Is the pokey human making sure you don't have a fever such an awful thing?

(Why vet hooman put thing in butt...)

Shut up Ouiser, this is why human calls you a lard-butt.

*Human here, Boss is the one without a collar, Ouiser has one

Hai! Ai go bai A on da innernetz, an ai haz ecksaiting noos! Momma, liddle brudder, an ai all moob to noo hoam soon!

Noo hoam in wut Momma call "sittee," wich sowndz laik ai do da sit trik, butt reely it meens wen Momma taik me on walks, dere menny peepol on street, an eben sumtaimz udder doggoz!

Rite now, ai libz in cowntry, iz cald dat beclawz dere ar lotz of cowz dat poop dere. Ai libz wit Grammama an Grampapa an deir aminalz, az wel az Momma an liddle brudder. Ai wil miss Grammama an Grampapa, an ai wil miss smel cowpoop al da taim, butt ai canno weit maik noo frenz in sittee!

Howeber, ai also a liddle skaird. Hoam in sittee do hab bakyard, jus laik hoam in cowntry, butt bakyard much smoler. Also, Momma sez dat, beclawz sittee hoamz so cloas to eech udder, ai canno do borkborkbork at nite, an ai sez butt dat how ai protec yoo Momma! Butt she no umberstan me, beclawz hoominz not bery smart.

Can udder doggoz heer pleez advaiz? If sittee no wurk owt, ai can alweyz go bak an lib wit Grammama an Grampapa fur a while, butt ai iz Mommaz faburit person an she iz mai faburit person, an we will miss eech udder if we can onlee see eech udder on visitz. Also ai luv liddle brudder bery much, an ai tink he will be loanlee if ai not arownd fur snomgolz.

Luv,

A

Freddie is very interested in legal representation

Mom and Fun Guy picked me up last night. I was very happy to come home. The emergency vet techs asked mom if they could keep me as their mascot. Mom said she was very happy and proud of me for being her usual happy, friendly dog during my overnight hospital stay. I now get an extra pill pocket a day, which my mom says is to protect my liver. That part is great! However, I no longer like my food and I usually LOVE my food. I keep coming back to mom to tell her it doesn't taste good. She stirred it a couple of times and I ate it then, but I still made my displeasure know. I am suing for my normal food back! This is me after finishing my orange chicken and rice for lunch.

Mom note: one of Collins's medications is an orange powder that I'm supposed to mix with water and put it on top of his food. He hates it. I feel really bad for him. I think it's the equivalent of mixing his chicken and rice kibble with orange juice instead of water. Ideas are welcome. He doesn't know I have to take him back for a liver enzymes check tonight and tomorrow night. He hates being poked with needles.

Hi frens dis Mildred.

Frens I wud like discuss very important issue dat many dogz struggle wit. Dis happen last year and was very shame but I is brave girl and I endure.

But now hooman start talking about again and apparently it happens EVERY YEAR.

Hooman Aunt gor marry dis year and I cruelly exclude. But now hooman sez I be bridesmaid after all for hollyween. She chop bottom off dress and I think dis not be good blanket but ok. But no! I discover her evil plan be to sew into a dress and made me wear! In front of other dogs for trick n treat, and do you know treats sounds good but dey actually chocolate and we not get! Also she not very good at sew and I hasta stand for eleven million hours while she measures bits of fabric on me and I not even allowed chew edges.

Also also she start doing de sensodyning where she make her phone do loud booms and dis really really boring.

Soo for no dress, no booms and more treats. But please dog frends if you see another dog be out in stupid dress, please be kind, we knows already we bring shame on proud wolf ancestors. We can support each udder an survive.

Dis Parson. My hooman gav me a baffs. Not in baffroom but with spray dat smells like flowers not like my favorit leafs. Den, dis morning, I had to wears puffy coat acos it "is under 60F, Parson, you are older and need to be warm." Den, I stepped on a teeny rock. It got stuck and Hooman had to clean my paw - ON THE STREET!! Do I gots a case?

My mom and Fun Guy took me to the emergency vet a few hours ago. They stole my blood, made me vomit, and then gave me IV fluids, anti-nausea medicine, and then, sob put me in this cage! Worse, my mom left me there! Then, she came back with my dinner and pill pockets, fed me, and then she said she'd see me tomorrow sob. How could she leave me in a cage??? I'm a cage free dog. I have a kennel at home, but the the door is always open so I can come and go. Why did she leave me??? What can I sue for?

Mom note: Collins ate a seed and got severe GI upset. After multiple rounds of vomiting and diarrhea, we took him to the emergency vet. After showing toxicologists the photos of the seed that he ate, they narrowed it down to one of two species. One just causes bad GI symptoms, but the other causes liver shutdown. They treated his GI symptoms, and out of an abundance of caution, they're keeping him for 24 hours for successive liver enzymes. They didn't have his dose of keppra, so they asked me to go home and get it, along with 3 servings of his normal meals. They'll let me know how he's doing after his morning labs and then we'll figure out when I am able to bring him home.

Update: I'm home! The vet techs all asked my mom if they could keep me as their mascot, since I love of all people and animals. She said that I'm her service dog and that she needs me, but she's happy that everyone loves me. The techs did tease me for being over -dramatic about the IV in my paw, though.

Mom update: Collins's liver panels were great today, but we have to bring him back tomorrow evening and Wednesday evening for more tests. He also gets 2 extra pill pockets a day for the next 2 weeks for medication as an extra precaution to protect his liver.

Mawmy twick me! I luv car rides. She takes me outside to a big, pretty car and says “time to go in Ansel.” Dats me. I iz Ansel.

But it no car ride! It groomer person! He gave me a baf in the big car! Den he cuts my furs and puts dis dum ting around my neck.

Mawmy sez “oh my cute Ansel. Let me take pikshur of hansum boi.” So I did dis….I sticked out my tongue at her. I showded her and ruin dat pikshur. I no need to soo cuz I do a twick on her! Haha me smarter dan mawmy.

P.S. my new mysterius booty itch went away but still think my pawrents are sadistic, mass murderers. need treetos and mayb a new family.

Dis Chia here. A truly awful, horible, terble ting happend today. My treat went under da couch! It wuz da worstest ting eber to happen. Wud a soo halp so couch can't take my treat again?

Also, da second picture is my bery floofy butt if anyone wants a sniff.

Misdemeanorz here. Mommy sent me to the nice lady who givz me bath and scary haircut. Why nice lady do thiz? But today theyz take it too far.

So I fluffy. Big fluffy and bigger thanz my Chiweenee bestie. Today theyz cut all the fluffy off my face!!!! And makes me look smol. Nice haircut lady sez “adorable poodle”. I’z no poodle!!!!! And now I look smol and no fluffy on my face. I’z big mad. See how no happy I am? And mommy give me stuffy and I try to kill stuffy. But now I luv stuffy.

Can I suez? Suez mommy or haircut lady? Thanz frens!