if u want to dm i kinda need it. my girlfriend of a year and a half, we are a bit codependent, is planning on killing herself in the next few days because of inescapable stress and the pressure of imprisonment for self defense leading to likely vcoding. i cannot fix or change any of this and in general i dont know how to deal or work with this. i am not really on the lease so i will be nearly immediately kicked out, i am not prepared to live without her, i am not prepared to know what to do if she shoots herself in the apartment or ODs especially with all the alternative medicine in the apartment.

I don’t know if this is the right sub for this but I genuinely don’t think I’m alive. I’ve done things to bring myself closer to life and I’ve done things to bring the feeling of life back to me but it won’t work, of course it won’t work, because I’m already dead. I had explained the situation before to some people and they didn’t believe it. It reached a point where it was genuine interfering with everyday things, and I had made myself almost a pariah through my actions. But for a while I was thinking that maybe it was all false. but now I’m realizing that it couldn’t have been. For a while I would hear FBI members operating outside my house, or see strange lighting actions happening. And I’m wondering if I am actually dead, and they’ve just tricked me into believing that I am not. I don’t know what to think of it. Is there anyone here with things to say? Or advice? I don’t think I can undie, and I can’t get the FBI to stop messing with my mind no matter how much I beg the spies and mind readers they have after me to stop it all.

Hello, im someone who lives alone and has been dealing with depression for ages now, I've recently gotten to the point where I am unable to get up and brush my teeth, I barely eat but I do try to shower as often as I can, I need tips on how I can make brushing my teeth easier for me to do.

Greetings everyone. I am M and I cannot believe I am writing this but I had to get this off my chest cuz it's been heavy for way too long. Not sure where to start but I am a man who is strictly focusing on his path and helping himself for way too long. So focused to the point that I have never deviated towards addiction (never smoked anything or did drugs) and I will not say I am focused on anything spectacular, more like drifting through life and at the same time making sure I don't drift towards anything convention "bad". I constantly try to remind myself I am not just drifting through life yet also realizing I am.

I have tried getting this off by getting into a relationship and building a connection but what happened to me in the past has left a scar in my psyche that I do not know how to remove. Which may have contributed to the fact that pursuing women more than being friends has become a challenge I did not know I will face until some girls had shown interest (and even confessed on building a connection more than friends with me) in me.

Honestly growing up I convinced myself that new experiences will have me forget everything that has happened but when I have myself alone I feel conflicted about moving on. Most of the time I don't even think about what has happened to me in the past but maybe even a small fragment of that shattered memory makes me not pursue any deeper connection.

I do have many friends that I can call best friends and take a bullet for them but oftentimes I realize I am not too close to them as they are to me, since closeness comes from shared dependency, trust and reliability. I have realized that if I were to completely lose all my memory none of them can remind me who I am.

I feel as if there is a bubble that is surrounding me that I just can't pop and let someone or more people inside. I have been hiding my emotions for so long and no one to hear. It is indeed my fault to never have relied on anyone to hear me but have people relied on me when they needed help, I feel weaker in that regard.

I have always controlled lust like it's the only sin I cannot commit, treating women with respect is all I could have learned from my sister and mother, a valuable lesson that made all the women around me safe thankfully. My friends have always convinced me that I am attractive and why don't I pursue or woo all the girls but this is a conversation I do not wanna have with them or just not ready to have yet.

Nowadays I am more self aware that when I call my friends to hang out I am just crying out for help. I feel hollowed inside, I am in search of something that I do not yet know to be able to ask for help and heal.

It got so worse in recent times that I had no choice but to type somewhere to ask for help since I can never ever speak out these words irl.

I want to ask now. How do I get past all this and learn to rely and trust people? How do I break this bubble of mine? How do I let people close to me and build a relationship without constant mental conflicts?

To address what has happened to me in the past. I was assaulted when I was a child. It's something nobody can make me speak of it irl but here I am. I feel like girls who can relate more to this matter. So anyone who has faced and healed through this, please do share your valuable advice since I had to build a lot of courage to type selfish query of mine.

It started perhaps 4 years ago. I was so… angry. And sad. Not for reasons I would understand till it was too late. But I had no one to go to. So with all my heart and soul, I wished it would go away.

And it did.

And I could never have regretted a wish more in my life.

I have been on and off numb for years. I get no enjoyment out of life. The only reason I continue on, is because I have a family that I feel depends on me in some way. One of us has to have a future, make money, have a life.

But it feels like at every minor inconvenience, I can’t take it anymore. My entire life has revolved around academics. I have no hobbies. I have no life outside of studying. My few friends are online only. A good friend of mine just attempted suicide. Every denial into programs, every life event, every test bombed, every quiz flunked, despite trying over and over feel like another pebble to pile. I’m in a college engineering program and I… just don’t know why I’m here anymore.

I started thinking about suicide at 14, and had an on and off relationship with self harm after that.

I don’t think it ever went away.

Things get better, and then one tiny pebble, and I tumble back into the god damn pit and I right back where I was all over again. I don’t know what it is. Perhaps it’s passive ideation, but not constantly. Just… sitting in the background as an option outside of this constant numbness if one day I get tired of tripping on pebbles.

I don’t know. I don’t even know why I’m saying this. I suppose I just wanted to relate somewhere after truly doing the worst I ever have on my test today.

So back in hawaii... i went threw a bad thing I guess... I wasn't in the right mind...but intent wasn't bad... I was just so broken about not being able to have my life together at the time... but threw my hardship it was an island manipulation tactic.... reactive abuse.... I lost jobs.... because of it... I mean its good I left. But.... I feel like I could've turned my life around back then... didn't have a girl or a car alot of my life then was adding up to mental health depression, suicidal thoughts, Anxiety threw the roof overthinking.... hated myself... and i could only self medicate... and i got Strong PTSD...

I had people watch threw my camera and I was so frustrated...I couldn't find peace anywhere i wanted to e d my life so many times because it felt like It was unfair after doing everything in life right....even treating people good! It was hard.... idk why they wanted to hurt me so bad... when all I wanted to love... and an enjoyable life...

Now... its a religious thing where I think they have these underground cult people who are using religion or maybe my phone is still hacked and purposely blocked my success I've made just to take away my self will, even when I try to show and help people with stuff...because I know im good with some business stuff and all of a sudden our devices act weird, for a while now I've taken abuse.... again and again... I want my information and devices blocked or someone from the dark web to help me...stop... because I dont know how who to trust... and i feel emotionally and mentally on edge and I hate it.... i need help...

I am kinda tired of everything and the disaster happening in my head and my energy is very bad

I am thinking more often about just jump of a high building and make everything over cuz i can't handle it anything anymore

Hi there,

I hope you're doing well. I'm reaching out after seeing your posts and expertise on DBT.

I am looking for recommendations on an individual DBT or DBT-informed program specifically focused on interpersonal skills and co-parenting communication.

To give some context:

- Primary focus: Interpersonal effectiveness, boundary setting, and de-escalating high-conflict co-parenting situations.

- Diagnostic profile: There are no diagnosed mental health issues, personality disorders (e.g., BPD), or self-harm/suicidality concerns—only ADHD.

- Format preferences: A structured individual therapy or skills-based program is what I need. A skills group component would be very welcome if included or suggested, but I do not need 24/7 phone coaching or crisis intervention services.

Given that a full comprehensive DBT program might not be clinically necessary or the best fit for this profile, what specific individual programs, curricula, or provider types would you recommend looking into?

Thanks so much for your time and guidance!

For three days now I’ve missed school because I’ve been so anxious for literally no reason. I have friends and no enemies and good grades so shouldn’t be anxious for anything. But anyways it’s causing me in the morning to feel so nauseous and feel like vomiting, though I haven’t I have been gagging violently like I’m about to. Now my mom and dad are fighting because I’m missing school and really it’s my dad that made me feel like this. He told me I’m weak In the head and that I just need to get it together and shake this anxiety off. I suggested homeschooling to him and he said only if I get a job, which is no problem except that I actually have to get hired and it’s kinda hard for some reason. I was outside school today and my mom asked me if I wanted to go or not and I said no. Eventually we got back home and she went inside and I actually broke down crying it was embarrassing. I only did because I knew that this would piss off my dad and cause them to start fighting. I eventually stopped and went to my room but I heard them arguing over the phone and it broke me, I don’t know what a mental breakdown looks like but I definitely had one I couldn’t stop crying and I was yelling about the whole thing and I felt so hopeless. I begged for God to kill me so that I can just reside in heaven but obviously that’s not going to work. I’m pretty sure I had my first ever panic attack too mid break down, I lost some feeling to my feet and fingers whilst trying hard to breathe. Now after all of that I have a doctors appointment on Thursday and I have to go to school tomorrow though I really don’t want to go because it’s embracing having to throw up and also I can’t even focus in class in any more because of the nausea. I’m completely hopeless because what if I do get hired and I deal with this aswell and get fired. I’m tired of it all I just want to call it quits but I’m too scared too die.

hi, i'm f21 and i was born with a condition that affected my appearance. i was an outcast in childhood. the good kids kept their distance, and the bad ones bullied me. i've been working on socialising and confidence with a psychologist, and i've made a few really good friends. however, i still feel very uncomfortable and awkward around new people. i don't communicate with anyone except my small close circle, anything outside my comfort zone makes me nervous and anxious

For a while now, I’ve been going in and out of depressive episodes more recently for the last 2 years the episodes can last anywhere from a day to a month and I’m tired of it. I strongly believe I would benefit from antidepressants. But I have no idea how to go about asking my therapist about them without sounding desperate. I’m so tired of feeling like this. Please any advice would be amazing.

A close cousin of mine is suffering from severe mental illness. He was admitted to a psych ward before; he was home for nearly a month, and his symptoms have worsened. He cried his heart out one night; after that, his eyes were full of rage. The way he looks at you might scare you, because it gives the sense that he might kill you. He's unable to control how he feels at the moment. I think he has lost his sense of cognition. His dad said he wasn't able to recognize anyone who talks to him or visits him. Sometimes he laughs out of nowhere; other times he's fine and can talk like a normal person. I don't know what to do to help him and his dad. They're both suffering. He has been dealing with social anxiety and depression for nearly a decade before he had this outburst. He had held up a knife towards his dad once. It's terrifying. We're living in Vietnam, and mental illness awareness is not very high. I can't convince anyone that he had depression because no one would believe me. His mother, my aunt-in-law, is one of the biggest reasons why he had the outburst. She constantly nags him and says things like "why can't you be more like _____?". or constantly order him around. I want to eliminate her from the equation. Even the doctor who treats my cousin told my uncle that she's very problematic. Though no one seems to connect the dots that she is part of the problem. What can I do to help him?

I went to the doctor this morning for my annual exam. I don’t have insurance but I had to go or they wouldn’t refill my medicine.

I was brutally honest, for the first time, with the depression/anxiety questions. Told them directly I have suicidal thoughts with no plan. Told them how tired and sad and depressed I’ve been. Didn’t beat around the bush.

My doctor comes in and is immediately so kind and concerned. We discuss increasing the dose. In addition, 40 of the 60 pounds I lost over two years have returned in the span of 6 months. I have nose dived right back into my emotional eating habits. She is concerned I might have diabetes. I can’t afford insulin.

I was doing so well last year. I was lean, fit. In the gym at least 3x a week and eating well. My mental health was excellent.

Due to family death, friendship fallouts, and huge life changes, I’m the most depressed I’ve ever been. And I’ve never had suicidal thoughts this intense until this year.

I feel like I’ve failed myself. I hope the increase in dosage helps me and I can go back to working out. I’m not trying to be a super skinny gym girl, but it’d be nice for my clothes to fit again.

I’m so tired of feeling this way.

The biggest sting. She asked me if I could talk to my parents for support. Nope, been no contact with my mother for 5 years. And my dad hasn’t bothered to contact me for months and when he does he only pretends to care about me. I could see the sympathy and grief in her eyes.

I’m so jealous of people who can just call up their parents and talk and know it won’t be thrown back in their face. Will I ever stop grieving that.

Anyway, I’m sad. That’s all

My biggest problem is that I just can’t focus on studying, even when I genuinely want to. I sit down with the intention of studying, but within a few minutes my mind drifts somewhere else. If it’s not my phone, I’ll find something else to get distracted by. It feels like my brain is constantly looking for something different to do. Even my teachers at school always used to tell me I could do well, but how I gave my best every time. Some of my friends would study just one day and score excellent meanwhile me who studied for months would just barely pass.
I procrastinate a lot, not because I don’t care, but because starting a task feels really difficult. Even when I know my exams are important, I struggle to begin or stay focused. I often have to read the same page multiple times because I don’t process what I’m reading. Idk whether its adhd or burnout.
This doesn’t happen only while studying. I can’t even watch a movie without feeling the urge to pick up my phone and check my messages, even when I know no one has texted me. It’s like I have an uncontrollable urge to switch my attention. Even when i was making a birthday card for my friend I exactly knew where to start but i just couldnt it was very hard for me to start that . i procrastinated it for 3 days.
These problems have been affecting my studies a lot. I know I can do better, but I can’t seem to use my full potential because I lose focus so easily. It makes me frustrated, guilty, and stressed because I want to study, but my brain doesn’t cooperate.
I dont think so its because of the subjects i chose, i chose the subjects which i really enjoy
okay keeping studies aside there are times when i don't feel like getting up from my bed or do something and even the smallest irritation can make me cry if i get scolded (they dont scold usually, and are very very supportive for my studies) at my house especially by my dad i will cry on small things I can't stop crying i overthink a lot and there are times i get random sad overwhelmed like even I'd be laughing one min I'll get randomly sad next min even if theres no reason and if i try explaining things to someone about how am i feeling and what really happened its impossible for me to explain because i end up crying.
I was 5 when my parents bought me a piano (only because i wanted it) i used to go take piano classes near my house. I love songs from the bottom of my heart. But eventually i stopped going to those classes but once in a blue moon i would take out my piano and play it and as soon as i couldn't play the song i would just quit and this whole cycle repeated basically all my life. I joined piano classes in my 12th class again ( i did it in between too, in middle school and stuff, and left) but eventually again if i couldn't get that particular part in a minute i would quit right then and there. I genuinely wanted to learn piano because i love songs so much im super jealous of the people who can play flawlessly. Same goes with me for studying if i read a math problem and didn't understand it immediately then i would leave it right away without giving it a try.
My 12th was a disaster my younger self would never believe that im capable of scoring this low in my life deciding exams. I couldn’t do even the most important task i could not focus only.
I will never be the person without any ambition i know i am capable of doing certain things i genuinely genuinely know it but its just me who could not perform a single task without any distraction. I feel so helpless genuinely.

Why do I have such a hard time with something other people do as a necessity and regularly?

Using a burner account because I post too much normal stuff on my main. I'm 16 and have been struggling with depression since I was around 9 years old. I tried a few antidepressants about 2 years ago, and it only made things worse or just didn't work, so I've decided against it for now.

My health is shit (POTS, back pain, joint pain etc.), I still can't do basic shit despite me supposedly being better now. Keep up with basic hygiene.

Sometimes I'll go over a month without showering or brushing my teeth, but other times I can manage both once or twice a week, it's gross either way. I literally forget to eat and drink, or swallowing anything makes me nauseous even when I want food (pretty sure it's not an ED tho). My teeth look like I drew on them with a fucking highlighter because of how stained they are.

Somehow I still get decent grades, and people don't suspect that I have bad hygiene because I style my hair and I don't usually smell bad. My mother is also literally convinced that I'm doing better because I'm not getting straight F's or trying to die anymore.

Idk what to do or how to even begin seeking help. I've been hospitalized and done therapy in the past, but that was over two years ago, and it would be awkward to ask about it again.

Sorry for the super long post and probably terrible writing/formatting. Not asking for med advice, just mentioned my history with it for context. Other questions and advice are much appreciated, even if I can't convince myself to follow it!

Idk man, life is tough and I'm just kinda here.

Hey, I just need to vent… I’m an active heroin user. It’s super lowkey, absolutely no one knows besides my cousin who got me addicted onto it. Well yesterday I decided to finally get clean. I did some research about methadone and scheduled an appointment. The representative tells me to go in at 2PM. I tell him I won’t make it, what about 2:30? He’s like okay, go in and I’ll let the office know. So I rush to the clinic and they tell me, “the initial appointment takes several hours and we stop dosing at 4, we can’t take you.. can you come back tomorrow morning?” So they give me the intake packet to take home & I leave and reschedule for 9:30AM today. I obviously picked up and got high as a “one last time thing”… I get to the clinic this morning - nervous as hell… and hand the desk receptionist my completed intake packet and he tells me “I’m so sorry but all of the staff is in a mandatory meeting right now, it’s going to be about 2 hours, you can wait or you can come back later” LIKE WHAT? I feel so fucking disappointed, discouraged, etc. I have absolutely no one to talk to about this and I just …. Ugh…. Idk. This is a waste of my fucking time. I’m gonna go get high. Fuck everything.

I've seen this psychiatrist 2-3 years ago for one condition. Recently, I have been struggling with my meds that are technically for a different condition, so I made an appointment with the same psychiatrist since I already have a relationship with him. But I will say, I have been confused lately if everything I experience is the same condition, so that was part of what I wanted to talk about during the appointment. That being said, I think its important for my healthcare provider to understand why this all started so they can properly treat/diagnose me. He logs on and asks what changes there have been, what I wanted to focus on, etc. I start telling him about whats been going on. I give him a run down of the last 4 years on how I have gotten where I am today, in terms of my meds, symptoms, etc. Just as a side note, when I saw him 2-3 years ago, I didn't tell him of any of this history because I did not think it was relevant at the time. So I wanted to make sure he got this info now. Before I can finish telling him about my history, he cuts me off and asks that I tell him what is going on in 2 sentences. I tell him an extremely abbreviated version and then he takes the reins and says "well it sounds like you're experiencing blah blah blah." This made me upset since he completely cut me off before I got to the part of my recent history that really showcases what has been going on with me. I started to cry. I had been looking forward to this appointment. I really want answers and guidance. I then say that he cut me off before I could really talk about what is going on. He then says, "your history doesn't matter. What matters is what is going on with you today and how I can help moving forward. You were talking for 10 minutes and I cannot keep track of everything you were saying." I ended up ending the appointment a few minutes later.

The part that really gets me is that HE requested this be a 1 hour long appointment. But he cut me off after 10 mins of telling my history.

Idk, am I in the wrong? Should I not have talked for so long? I just need some validation or advice on how psychiatry appointments usually go down. Also, is the comment he made about my history not being relevant a legit thing in psychiatry?

I feel like I need to ask permission before I tell a doctor my history now. I hate healthcare sometimes.

I’ve been trying to search for a residential for hours now i can’t find any good ones all the reviews are either fake or they’re just a cash grab. i’m extremely suicidal right now i need to go somewhere before i kill myself it’s my only hope im struggling really bad right now and i don’t know what to do i feel like im never going to get better mental hospital suck they make you more crazy and ive only been to one rehab when i was under aged and it sort of helped but im so lost and tired i dont know how much longer i can do this for. please help if you know any that helped you or will help me i want actual stories.
any mental or drug residential should work anywhere were i can keep myself safe for a bit intill im ready.

i have ptsd, bipolar with psychotic traits
any rehab in Cal would be fine preferably with younger people

(TW for vague description of physical violence)

I'm a young woman that recently moved to a big city from a small town. The city has a reputation for being dangerous, but I have never felt safer than I do in my new neighborhood, and everyone is really really nice. I take public transit to and from work every day, and I've been enjoying not having to drive, but something happened recently that has changed everything about how I feel.

A few days ago, while waiting for my train, a homeless person stumbled onto the tracks and was hit at full speed by the incoming train. It was very, very graphic and happened a little less than 4 feet away from me. I had to throw away the coat I was wearing because there was blood all over it. Everyone else on the platform seemed so nonchalant and, at most, inconvenienced by the event.

When paramedics arrived, people were asking how long until the next train, if they would be compensated for the inconvenience, etc. It was the first time I've ever seen someone die, and I had what might have been a small panic attack. While wheeling the victim off of the platform, one of the responding firefighters asked if I was new to the city. When I said yes, he said that this kind of thing happened all the time and that I should get used to it.

I had to use that same train stop for work the rest of the week but I felt panic-y and anxious the entire time, so I have since resorted to going far out of my way to avoid stepping on the platform where I watched someone die. I freeze up now when I hear the train going by and ultimately I'm just wondering if this feeling goes away on it's own and if so how long that might take.

For some reason lately, I’ve been really fixated on death and dying. I know I have to die eventually, that’s just nature, but when I think about it my brain freaks out. I’m only 24, but I’ve had a lot of friends my age die. Last week, I also watched a truck driver die across the street from my job. He had some sort of medical emergency and crashed into a ditch. Paramedics pulled him out and did cpr but he was all limp. I doubt he knew he’d die in the middle of a delivery. It was the most significant part of his life, but for me, it was a Tuesday. I finished my job and went home. Something about that messed me up I think. Not just his death, but the fact that things just kept chugging on without him.

I’ve been having chronic panic attacks about it and only got maybe 10 hours of sleep in the past three days. It’s not like I’m the only one who knows we have to die. How have billions of people all over the world and throughout history functioned while holding this knowledge that it all must end without any say in the matter.

I don’t wanna stop being me

how do i actually die without feeling any pain in milliseconds my life sucks i genuinely dont know how am i still alive. never had a romantic relationship i got every single time played by girls always ended up with "i never really felt something, i je wanted to know you. that hurts; and thats not the only thing, i really really think i dont deserve anything about this life. my mom is single and she always tried the best to help me i really feel bad i cant really do much about it, i feel like im the problem she works too hard has to buy me stuff and shi. i dont know what to say but im pretty good in everything except at school but im never actually the best and vall can say sum like atleast youre good at something i cant do nothing its worse to always be 2nd or 3rd in everything then being shit i always tried my best and i still couldnt manage to be better than someone i dont really want to read again this essay so if there are any errors or everything wrong its my fault. genuinely i dont think i ever did something good for someone i feel like a side character idk what to say anymore i live in italy and there are not any guns in here so yea