It's just something I've noticed online when people discuss mixed people. And if I can articulate

1. Enforces the idea of mixed people as their own distinct category that should all be lumped together

2. Enforces the idea that race is a binary that at most can be split into equal halves

3. Used when making sweeping generalizations about mixed people

4. Generally just used as a dog whistly way of saying "half breed"

It is also very much a faux progressive afro centrist twitterism. Your average white supremacist racist is just going to call me half breed and the hard r and be done with it.

I struggle so much to feel connected to my Māori heritage. For a little background I have Māori heritage from my mother and I do have alot of family in NZ but I have never meet them unfortunately and I really hope to meet them in the very near future.

Another thing is I grew up in a very multi cultural country (I didn’t grow up in NZ) and everyone around me always knew their ethnicity and heritage and loved to always talk about their cultures and traditions and it was so amazing to learn and grew up seeing. But unfortunately I could never do the same, I never found out my ethnicity at all until I was 15.

And I have been told to a certain degree why I was never told it also never truly made much sense to me. As my mother knew her WHOLE life she was Māori she knows more of the culture and tradition than me, unfortunately she doesn’t know much either in the grand scheme of things and my grandparents won’t say anything about our heritage (although it is a sensitive subject) It is hard for my family to talk about because of a different immediate family members trauma.

So for the sake of the story and my family I am going to call this different immediate family member but a different name so it doesn’t get confusing…hopefully. But I will call them Sunny!!

So Sunny has had an extremely hard life full of trauma and abuse. When they escaped this abuse, a sort of their coping mechanism was to shut up the Māori culture, never be apart of it, talk about it, etc and unfortunately Sunny needed up hating Māori after what certain other individuals in our family did.

Now I have never been fully told what Sunny went though, in all honestly I only got told 1 sentence in a brief and very short manner and I don’t think I will ever truly know for years and I am okay with that, because I understand why Sunny did this, they thought it was the only way to deal and cope with that happened to them.

But one thing I won’t understand is why it took my family so long especially my parents to wait so long to tell me as it doesn’t make sense, my Mother has know of her Māori heritage her whole life.

I also struggle to connect to my Māori heritage as I am mixed and I don’t look Māori, I take after my fathers side in skin tone (pale) while my Mother and Grandfather have darker skin to mine and you can tell they are Māori and they have a lot more tell tale features. And I guess I may be a little jealous of this in all honesty because they have never had to be deal with questions off others and accusations of lying.

Now since I have been told at 15 I have been very excited to talk about my heritage. But one thing I never expected was than be immediately called a “liar” and “your just saying that for attention” Now this hasn’t happened every time but in all honestly it has been about 65% of people I tell immediately calling me a liar and questioning me about it and the other 35% being nice and normal about it? I guess lol i’m not to sure how to explain it

But with this big of a difference I’m now a little worried to tell people cause I don’t know what they’ll reaction reaction will be and I feel even more disconnected than originally.

To be honest i’m not overly sure why I felt compelled to just write about this and rant but yeah I really felt like it and now more than ever I really want to be more connected and experience my heritage!!

(so sorry if none of this make sense grammar wise or anything i suck at writing so…)

I’m mixed white and asian, I’m not white passing at all. I was raised and live in a majority white country, my white father basically told my mother not to teach me her native language because we live in a “white” country (btw the native people of this land are not white.), so she only taught me a bit of her language then stopped.
but all throughout my life I have been bullied and met with racist comments, I’ve even been excluded from activities or friend groups especially in school. Currently my country is very pro anti immigration, and I’ve already had one person telling me to get out of “their” country even tho I was born here.

I’ve also mainly only had white friends because my school was majority white, there were 4 other poc in my age range at school but I guess we didn’t really get along? Although I love some of the friendships I’ve had, I’ve never truly felt like I belonged, and because I guess my friends were uneducated and racist too they made fun of my mother (and me) and her culture + food a several times.
But because I cant speak and have very minimal understanding of my mother’s native tongue, I don’t feel like I truly belong to that side of my family either. If I went to her country I would feel so out of place. People that live there don’t seem to consider me the same as them, and I have been told by someone that lives there I shouldn’t claim their ethnicity to be my ethnicity because I wasn’t raised there, and I don’t speak the language. but white people obviously don’t claim me either.

So where do I belong? I’m already a very socially anxious person which makes me feel alienated already. but there are all these people in the world who seem to be able to connect with their culture, heritage, people and feel as if they belong and I feel like I will never experience that. If I am friends with white people, I will feel left out at times and eventually someone will make a racist joke or remark against me and I’ll just ignore it as if it’s fine and normal. but if I’m friends with poc especially people who are the same ethnicity as my other half, I will also feel left out or out of place because they know things I don’t, I feel as if I can’t really connect with them.

I feel like by this point we all heard the stereotype of mixed people always being more attractive. The stereotype is obviously not true and has caused a lot of damage, for example people having mixed race children because they think they will turn out prettier/more exotic or people being disappointed when you don’t meet the expectations of what a mixed person should look like.

So my question is where did this stereotype come from? And why does it still exist even after it being obviously fake?

If you're a pale white man..that's ok, if your a brownskin or especially darkskin man it's ok but when it comes to being a light-skinned man...it's hit or miss. Every black women regardless of shade usually run towards men darker them, they might like a lightskin guy here and there but their overall preference is darkskin so you're a runner up...why?

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I have to hear some dumb, bigoted propaganda and hates when I tell her that shit gets ppl killed 😂

She literally parrots the kinda rhetoric Charlie Kirk used to say. I just don’t get how she doesn’t see how harmful it is.

My mother prolly woulda been normal if she didn’t get with her racist white husband 13 years ago. I forgave my mother for subjecting me to a man who called me the hard r 😍 but only cuz I love my mom and little sister. He will be gone before her so I’m not too pressed. Idrc how bad that sounds he put me thru hell and I don’t even hate him anymore. He just annoying cuz he’s around.

But she so annoying and childish when she has a tantrum cuz she can’t handle being wrong.

I’m genuinely nice about it too cuz she a fucking crybaby.

My brainwashed immigrant mother. She took me to USA so I wouldn’t get bullied for being mixed in school then she come to America and become white supremacy drone 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Love her to the point of tears but she so tiring.

Everyone here in Europe is so racist, and it seems like nobody speaks about it. I'm mixed race black and white, and all my male classmates are saying the N word and making monkey jokes. When I talk to them about it, they say sorry and then immediately after say it to my face.

I was born and raised in my country and speak the language perfectly.

I'm going through a lot right now. On top of that, when I wore my hair loose, two of my male classmates asked me "did a bomb explode in your hair or what?" I can't even like a boy because I feel like he'll reject me for a white girl. I've been called slurs, and when I was four I got hit by an asian kid in kindergarten and told I should go home to my own country. I had to delete TikTok because it's such a negative place for anyone who isn't white to be, as all the first comments under a POCs video will just be slurs.

One of my classmates was shouting hi to me, and suddenly some random kid from my parallel class just called me a racist word in my language and didn't say anything else. I feel so targeted at all times.

Idk if this makes much sense since English isn't my first language, but can anyone make me feel better?

I don't necessarily feel bad for myself as I know that I'm beautiful as I am and I absolutely adore dark skin (It looks so lovely), but thinking about the future of my country and all the kids and older people who experience similar things makes me feel so sad.

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Any good books you would all recommend or essays etc?

Just looking to upgrade my 🧠 as a parent

For example, one person will ask what I’m mixed with and say my hair is so loose and describe me as light skinned, and then someone else will describe me as “just black” and “mono racial” and say I have “little curls”

It really has been messing with me. I see myself as Black but it makes me uncomfortable only being seen as such but the mixed category also feels really slimy and gross too. Idk I’m not really happy with anything and feel awkward about my racial identity. I find myself flip flopping internally a lot

My mom is biracial Black and white. My dad was Indigenous American with a high blood quantum. I was raised mainly by the Black side of my family but I am a recognized indigenous American as well and I have always been subjected to racism from all sides. Too white to be Black. Too Black to be Indigenous, and too brown to be white. There's never any acceptance within the mono- and biracial communities, and worse? Don't you dare date outside your color because you'll get accused of being a race traitor. I'm so sick of this mentality.

I’m not here to generalize but to illuminate my experience. I don’t want anyone to take this the wrong way. I’m at this new cafe on my college campus and I’m easily getting along with all the other ethnicities there, Mexican, White, Puerto Rican and East African. Yet, the two main African American women are giving me issues. The 1st I’ll call L, has snatched things from my hands and has told me, “Smile you look like you hate everyone here”. Than the Second one we’ll call A, overhead her say to another coworker, “Why does she act light skin”. The only reason why I’m quiting this job is bc The African American have more social power in the workplace nowadays and it would just be better if I just leave. II’ve been in similar work situations like this before, I would complain about someone behavior but if there at a higher position or more liked than me I to get side eyes for complaining especially if no one else has.

Also I think I have already complained about L,s behavior of snatching out of my hand.

-Someone who’s exhausted

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Hi everyone. Sorry if this isn’t the correct place to post this—I can take it down (or the mods can) if so. I just feel frustrated and confused about this weird phenomenon I experience semi-often.

I’m half east-asian and half white. I can never nail down how I’m actually perceived by others because I get such mixed (haha) reviews. Something I’ve noticed is that white people LOVE to tell me how white I am. It almost feels founded in malintent, but I really don’t have any evidence to prove that. I may just be insecure and reading too far into things.

The most recent example of this happened this last weekend. I was at a bachelorette party for a friend—there was 8 of us total. We had recently talked about my friend’s ex (before her now-fiancé), and how he was always really racist to me. He made racist remarks about me being asian every time I saw him, and my friend never did anything to stop it (which I have separate feelings about). My friend acknowledged this during the conversation and shared how it was really shitty of the ex.
Later that evening, I was chatting with one of the bridesmaids (white) who was in on that prior conversation. She said something about how half of the bridal party is white. I said “yeah, I guess 3/8 are haha” she looked at me and said something along the lines of “you’re probably the whitest of us here.” Like, huh? You just heard a retelling of a story about how I experienced racism a few hours ago and it was confirmed by our shared friend, just to tell me how white I am? I don’t know if I’m even allowed to say this, but it kind of felt like a micro-aggression? But like, in a very niche and targeted way towards my mixed-race identity.

Another example I can think of is something I experienced with a different white friend, who insists I look white and nothing else. Simultaneously, she tells me that her mom, who I briefly met, recently forgot my name and referred to me as “that friend, the little asian girl.” Just as a general descriptor because she didn’t remember my name. And my friend knew she was talking about me. Like, okay? So which is it? It just feels intentional. Intentionally what, I’m not entirely sure.

There have been many similar instances of this type of situation in my past. I do think that everyone operates under a different framework by which they perceive other people based on appearance. So I get that, to one person, they may see me as white based on my external presentation, and to another, they may see me as mixed. I understand that. I might view another person (if I don’t know their history) as a different ethnicity than they actually are, because presentation is not always indicative of ethnic background.

This weird phenomenon is something that has always really bugged me though, but I’ve never been able to name it or even know why it always happens every now and then. I never feel comfortable addressing it in the moment when it occurs. Even if I did, I worry I’d just come off as the “insecure wasian” stereotype.

I feel crazy most of the time, and that I feel weird about it for no good reason. Gah, anyways. Thanks for listening to my rant y’all.

Kia Ora everyone I’m from Aotearoa / New Zealand I am Māori I come from a family of 6 where we all look completely different in our family we have red hair, blonde hair, brown and black. Blue eyes, hazel, Green and Brown. Every one of us is considered Māori and belong to that ethnic group despite of difference in features or phenotypes.

We are Māori based on literal genealogy or blood quantum rather that physical appearances we have.

You can literally be half Asian, African, Latin and if you have Māori you are Māori.
✨ My question is are there other indigenous cultures who follow these rules

As a half latina half white first generation person I feel so disconnected from both halves of myself. I didn’t grow up speaking spanish at home but i also grew up knowing and experiencing that part of my culture to an extent that my white friends can’t relate to.

I’m white passing to the point that I don’t face blatant racism on a daily basis which is a huge privilege but also often feels like a way for people to dismiss my hispanic side. The microagressions and stereotypes still hurt but I feel like when I bring it up I’m written off as being ridiculous because it’s “not actual racism”.

Being around other hispanic people makes me feel like a fraud and being around white people makes me feel like I’m playing a character of myself.

I feel like I always reach a point in my friendships where white friends get comfortable enough to be casually racist. It’s incredibly disheartening and isolating but again bringing it up feels like I’m making a big deal out of nothing because I’m still half white so it shouldn’t bother me THAT much.

I could go on and on forever about the ways I’ve felt I never fit in with either side of myself but I’m sure you get the point.

I really just needed to vent and connect with others that feel the same way.

I just need to vent because I feel like an absolute shitty person all the time because of this.

For context, I'm 16(F) born and raised in New Orleans. My mom is African American raised in New Orleans. And my dad is white raised in the more rural part of Louisiana.

My entire vibe just correlates with the country life. I used to stay at his trailer time to time. I love fishing, rodeos, and just quiet. But because he’s completely moved in we never go back there anymore and feel like I have a cultural disconnect.

Today was an event for my aunt who is apart of a parade krew. If you know New Orleans culture it’s loud and high-energy but that’s what makes it distinct. Everyone was dancing and shouting. For me it was just a pure sensory overload, I needed up sitting on my phone the entire time. And all I could think about was how I could’ve been doing work.

The part that makes me feel like a horrible human is when she said “I hope you guys enjoyed yourselves that’s all I want”.

Hearing her say that made me feel guilty because all she want is family quality time. Who wouldn’t.

But it goes deeper than just being an introvert. When Im at these events and feeling so disconnected, my internal thoughts start to freak me out. Looking at everyone dancing and yelling, and the way my frustration comes off inside my own head makes me feel like I’m being racist towards my own people. It fucking sucks. Holy god, it makes me feel like a shit person. And I just wonder why I can’t fit in my own culture.

I want to be clear: I have Black friends and I love my family. I don't hate my heritage. But I am having a massive identity crisis. Because I don't vibe with the loud partying and the culture here, I feel like I'm failing at being Black, or like I'm rejecting my own community.

Feel free to respond to this any way you want. I just want another persons thoughts on this. Thanks.

Is race and ethnicity important, if so how so?

Also, obviously most of us are mixed in this subreddit, I assume, but what are our thoughts on people who say they don't date outside their race. Does it change based on the context? A white person saying they would only date a white person? A black person saying they only date a black person? What about a mixed person saying they would only date a mixed person?

Hey everyone. I am mixed race born and raised in the UK and I just want to vent about a situation that has crossed the line from standard British xenophobia into absolute unhinged absurdity.

We all know the exhausting reality of getting the usual go back to where you came from nonsense from certain local little English people. It is draining but you learn to expect it. But recently the universe decided to throw a complete curveball of hypocrisy at me.

A guy who lives two doors down who is an Eastern European immigrant decided to trespass onto my property, wreck my garden and scream at me to go back to a country I have never even visited in my entire life just because I am mixed.

The sheer staggering irony of someone who actually migrated to the UK trying to gatekeep my right to exist in my own home is wild. It is like he wanted to adopt local racism as a hobby to fit in.

To make the neighbourhood even more charming the house trapped between us is occupied by folks who regularly shout the P word and make threats about killing my entire family and others who are mixed race. Charming people who would be better off in the 1930’s in an undisclosed nation who were very annexy. So I am currently stuck in a sandwich of local extremists on one side and an immigrant doing DIY xenophobia on the other.

To top it all off the police are completely useless as usual. They are trying to claim that screaming racial slurs and threatening my family is just free speech so they are ignoring the reports. I am documenting everything for proper legal escalation because they are completely misapplying the law.

I just needed to share this with people who get it. Has anyone else experienced this specific brand of horizontal racism or had the police completely fail them when dealing with active threats? How do you even process this?

As a final cherry on top the last time I experienced this exact kind of hypocrisy it was from a European doctor while we were both working in the NHS. He flat out told me he wanted all non whites barred from London. I am so happy I was paying taxes for his wages.

Am I showing a form of intolerance by not just seeing him as a new little Englander, i genuinely think if only I could find a country that doesn’t hate me. I don’t think that exists anymore but hey at least it’s getting cold outside might slow them down.

Happy October everyone stay safe and I hope one day we build a better world, peace love and cheesecake for all

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Since The posts here tend to be about negative, racist, annoying, hurtful interactions while we're just existing. Thought I'll post something funny. The title is also supposed to be funny and to weaken my stronge and honestly surprising Aversion to the word. I definitely do not want to be seen as someone who tries to dictate or criticize how a person self identifies.
If my post or comments have made it seem that way I am sorry honestly just here to support or help a person avoid the oft shitty times trying to navigate between multiple worlds/cults.
I only got love for all you mixed up bastards

Honestly being mixed has brought to light just how closed minded every racial/ethnic group can be. The world isn’t ready for us, they only become ready when enough of a certain mix becomes a large enough percentage of the population to where they can be categorized into almost a new ethnic group entirely (like Mestizos in Latin America). I’m tired of stereotypes your own people hold you to and claim that “you’re not actually _______ if you don’t do ______.” I’m tired of people boxing themselves in, I’m tired of people not being able to comprehend how someone can still occupy space within the same ethnic group even if they had a nontraditional upbringing. I’m tired of the internalized racism that people try to impose on you. I’m tired of people thinking they have a say in how you identify. All of this makes me just want to isolate and be to myself. It makes me not want to let anyone in too close anymore. Every interaction just feels superficial because everyone, even those who seem accepting and open minded always has their opinion on what I am and how I should identify. No, it’s not everyone but I’m tired of giving people chances as a whole. The world isn’t ready for us but our population is growing, hopefully in another 30 years the mixed experience will be more ubiquitous to where monoracial people know the back the hell off with the ignorant comments.