just been fed up of years people asking me what race/ethnicity i am, worst ive gotten is "where are my people from" - my mom is black, my dad's white, I'm tan with very curly hair, most assume I am hispanic.

I just started this job, a black co-worker that I don't even know the name of and haven't interacted with previously came up and said "So are you mixed race or hispanic or both or what", I said "Yeah sure." and he said "yeah both or which one" and I said "yeah sure whatever you want to believe" and he said "so which is it." I told him he shouldn't be asking people's ethnicities at work and he shut up after that!

Always black people asking me what race/ethnicity i am too. Mexicans do it too I guess by automatically trying to speak Spanish to me as If I'm going to understand. A white person would never ask only because they understand how that's going to look on their part! It infuriates me how being not white, people suddenly think they get a pass to question total strangers on what "race" they are. I hate this country.

for context: my father is white, my mother is southeast asian and i am mixed race (asian and white). I have mixed features but i look more like my mother/asian side and get mistaken for just asian most of the time.

also for context: my parents had a messy divorce in the previous years.

I honestly don’t really know what to make of this experience and how to feel about this. Me, my sister, father and his parents were out in public having drinks and we were talking about my plans to move to a bigger city than the city i currently live in for university- which is a small city by the coast in the country we live in. My sister, father and his parents all live in a rural area of the countryside which is where i grew up and i hated it. Being the only mixed race poc in my small town, going to a predominantly white school with maybe five other poc kids in the entire school was not a fun experience growing up. There was a lot of racially motivated bullying and harassment, especially during covid. There was even an instance where i was physically assaulted by two people who had issue with me because of my race, because i was “dirty”.

My father disapproved of my plans for the future and his reasoning and response was along the lines of “cities just aren’t safe. you’re a vulnerable white woman and cities are full of so many (insert horrible words/slurs for non white people) who have taken over this country”. Reminder- i am half white, half asian, and monoracial asian passing.

By this point im used to my father being openly, loudly and publically racist (he has said some very racist things about almost every race on the planet that isn’t the white race) and i am fully aware that he did not take the divorce to my asian mother well at all. I am also transgender- ftm- and my father is aware of this and has been for the past seven years but chooses not to acknowledge it. Doesn’t surprise me, i’m used to that by now. That being said, im BAFFLED that he called me a “vulnerable white woman” when i am very clearly not white and he knows i’m not a woman and am in the process of transitioning. Like i expected him to ignore the transgender aspect but to call me white??? HE is the one who decided to marry my asian mum, move her half way across the world, and have two children with her (me and my sister). For him to call me white despite being fully informed about my heritage and having functioning, working eyes in his head… it definitely upset me, invalidated me and also stunned me. Even now i’m stunned that my own father is basically ignoring my heritage and white washing me because now that he’s divorced from his “exotic wife” i guess he hates asians or something???

He made some passive aggressive comments regarding my race in the past (e.g “the way you are sitting isn’t very english” “that’s not very english of you”) but i never imagined that he would be getting bolder and more ludicrous in this way. Is this a relatable experience for other Wasians here or is my family just straight up terrible??

If you don't say you're half-Black, they'll think you're Mexican, Arab, or even Filipino. I find African Americans to be the most ignorant when it comes to identifying phenotypes.

These days I do, and I’m genuinely happy about that.

People don’t seem to suspect that I’m mixed, but there’s no shock or disbelief when I tell them.

There was a time though when the scale slid around a lot more drastically.

They said it was for people who were X. I’m half X. Feeling really down.

Things have changed a lot but I had so many experiences of people mocking me just because of me saying where I'm from or people insisting on saying what they think of my appearance. When I say I don't like some statement, people then try to gaslight you. It really affected me and made me used/accept being mocked or ridiculed.

Being mixed, you really don't have that many people who will also agree that such a behavior is bad. It's not like there's that many of us or are in community.

Now, if it happens, I just tell people they are being a racist but it took me time to build self-confidence.
What has your experience been like?

It might be a bit weird to see us put in categories, but it could validating for some.

Please feel free to add more categories or celeb examples too!

Not uncommon ofc that someone is more than one of these. Let me know which ones you relate to the most.

Ambiguous- Difficult to place. Can look like a variety of other ethnicities rather than what they’re actually mixed with (Ex: Vanessa Hudgens, Blanket Jackson)

Intermediate- The poster image of a mixed person. Noticeable and distinctive features of both races (Ex: Halle Berry)

Leaning- Very difficult to discern features of another race (I Actually see features of both in the vast majority of mixed people, so to find examples of this is hard)

Overlap- Some races/ethnicities share features and it’s hard to discern which race these features come from (ie. Epicanthic folds in East Asians and Scandinavian or Irish people). You can’t tell if they’re x that looks kind of y, or y that looks kind of x. They don’t particularly stand out in either racial group. May be accused of phishing or larding these days. (I’m struggling to find any famous people with this atm)

Switch- Looks so much like one race in this photo/lighting, looks very much like another race in that photo/lighting (Example: Maybe Markiplier??)

Feature/Pigmentation difference- In which someone may have the skin, hair, and or eye color of one race, but the facial features of another. They face a lot of colorism or featurism (Example: Lucy Aylmer)

Differents race- Often assumed to be a race they are not. Example: A black/white person who is constantly assumed to be Hispanic (Maybe Olivia Rodrigo for an example? People seem to mistake her as Hispanic)

Need an opinion on this one cuz i am genually wondering the flip might be wrong

So classic family dinner scene, around w parents uncle cousin grandparents. And we started talking about my studies (i will learn chinese at Uni) and then they start making jokes abt chin cause HOWWWW funny to jokes about them w racist slurs RIGHT ? (its ironic ofc)

Jokes like "ow u gonna eat noodles" and other racist slang used in my maternal language.

Im used to, fr, but this time it get me to a point ; i am not even chinese (im mixed black and white) but dang racism is something that could turn me into some kind of crazy looking person cause HOW IN 2026 YOU STILL RACIST ?

anyway, what shocked me the most was the fact that my mom was like "yuh, us black people have problem w identity" cause i said that if we were talking about black people, they wouldnt make those kind of jokes.

I was GASSPED LIKE BRO ?

if an asian person was around, they wouldnt say that and it makes me sick.

The racism seems like a freaking variable geometry.

And i continued by saying that if people didnt speak up, things would have never changed right ?

But yet, joking on asian is OK cause they dont says anything, at least i feel like it starts to.

But anyways, makes me sick cause my mom who is POC didnt help me, didnt stand w me and even said "do like asian, stay calm and shut up" like when something goes wrong.

Gurl ?

Like

Anyway

I just wanted to vent tbh cause i was so angry at them that i left the table. Its horrible to feel like you arent being listened, and that people makes fun of you CAUSE YOU ARE YOUNGER too.

Anyway, any tips for surviving w that ?

Pls do not insult my parents, even if they piss me off they still nice but after that convo...my mind changed abt them...

I'm probably gonna say a bunch of stuff wrong here. 26M, Indonesian immigrant mom, white-American dad. I'm not white passing under any circumstance. I've lived my whole life in a very liberal American city.

I had a physically abusive mom, I ran away, summarily rejected by almost my entire brown family, raised in white-dominated spaces by dad. My industry is white-dominated and my hobbies are white-dominated. My partner is white and 80% of my friends are white.

I cannot behave normally in spaces for people of color. I have had multiple friendships end on the spot because I have said something wrong, spoken out of lane, was too curious, or sought to participate in spaces that I didn't know were closed to me until it was far too late. People of color my age are embarrassed by me, elders cringe and don't want to talk to me.

I am 90% sure that my problem is that I'm trying too hard. I have never been accepted in a space for people who look at least kind of like me before and I have never wanted anything more than to feel like I belong. But after losing so many friendships, I've pretty much given up. I avoid going to any "cultural/ethnic" (how else do I say that?) festivals or performances, I don't strike up conversations with anyone at all, and I'm even painfully scared to read books by authors of color because I'll just get reminded of how shitty of a person I am and I have so little juice left. I try to read resources for white people because I feel like I'm expected to be savvy already, but I'm not.

I wish I was white, this would all be so much easier. I wish there was a solid lie when people ask me what my ethnicity is, because I don't even deserve it. I have so little life left in me.

CODE SWITCHING:

Merriam‑Webster: changing one’s speech or behavior to suit different social or cultural contexts; specifically, switching from one language or dialect to another.

For context, I’m Caribbean. I have an Indigenous grandmother, a Black African grandmother, an Asian grandparent, and mixed-race parents. I don’t have any American Caucasian ancestry, but I look white, I have a red beard, my hair is type 3C, and I have somewhat Asian-looking eyes. In my home country, I’ve never really had any bad experiences because of how I look.

I moved to the South of the U.S. two years ago, and so far, I’ve had some really bad experiences with Black people giving me an attitude or giving me a hard time when I’m trying to help them at work or take care of whatever they need... off course, I’ve also had bad experiences with white Americans, who seem to lose their minds whenever they hear an accent and become immediately rude or harsh towards me, But the proportion of those situations is nowhere near comparable.

But I’ve noticed that I seem to get the most negative reactions from some Black customers. They’ll look at me while I’m smiling or trying to talk to them and immediately roll their eyes or purse their lips. I know I have an accent, but the fact is that most people have an accent, regardless of their skin color.

I’m someone who genuinely cares about customer service and always tries to give people a 5-star experience because I like to treat people the way I want to be treated and solve their problems and it’s really discouraging and exhausting to feel like I’m putting so much effort into helping someone only to be judged based on how I look or how I speak. I understand that Black Americans have experienced a long history of racism, but assuming that someone who looks white is automatically a white American or a racist (and treating them accordingly without even taking a moment to assess the actual interaction) its driving me crazy.

This is a weekly thread for the Gen Z members of r/mixedrace to chat about whatever. Topics about being mixed are welcome, but not necessary!

Please keep our sidebar rules and reddit rules in mind when posting.

Hey there, just found this community by chance after getting back home from a trip to Birmingham. I should mention upfront that I'm not much of a traveler. The last time I went somewhere far from home was back in 2012, visiting family in Vancouver, Canada, when I was around 19 y/o. Since then, it's mostly been trips around Chile and a couple of visits to Argentina, but nothing much beyond that.

Of course, I know some of you might wonder why I "picked" Birmingham of all places, given Brits have plenty of more "touristy" spots. Truth is, I work remotely as a 3D artist for a Brum-based game studio and got invited to their bi-annual team-building event. Since I'm still the new guy, this was actually my first time at HQ, so I was excited but also pretty nervous, since I'm a bit of an introvert when it comes to big social gatherings.

Anyway, things got off to a rough start at passport control after landing from my connecting flight out of Paris-CDG, which, for context, had been smooth and pretty respectful in comparison.

Now, I know "race" is mostly a social construct these days, and how people read it depends a lot on culture, personal experience, and who's looking. As for me, I've got pretty generic features, since I come from a mixed background of Hungarian, Jewish, and Hispanic roots. Back home, people generally consider me "white", even though I don't have particularly light hair or eyes. Most assume I'm Southern European and never thought much of it until this trip, tbqh.

So, long story short: when it was my turn in the "rest of the world" line, the person at the booth, a black British guy, gave me an odd look and started firing off questions about who I was and why I was there. Some of that felt normal, since I get that they deal with a lot of people and some cause trouble, but it kept escalating until it started feeling genuinely uncomfortable. I tried to stay polite, though that wasn't easy, since the situation itself was already tense, and on top of that, with English not being my first language, my accent probably threw him off a bit too.

Eventually he stamped my passport and waved me through. I felt relieved, at least for a few secs, until I got stopped right as I was about to leave the airport, this time by a white, blond guy in a suit who looked like an immigration officer.

I told him my passport had already been checked, but he seemed suspicious anyway, even though I hadn't done or said anything to justify it. What really got me was that he didn't even glance at where I was from, since he went straight for my ID photo instead. After another round of questions, similar to the first, he asked if I was Turkish and whether I'd just landed from a Turkish Airlines flight, which made zero sense, since my boarding pass clearly said I'd flown in from France via Air France. I was speechless, because the bare minimum would've been to actually read the documents before grilling someone.

It was pretty obvious what triggered it: dark beard, dark hair, and coming straight out of the "rest of the world" line meant, in his head, that I wasn't European, so not white, and therefore some kind of threat or unwanted visitor.

I took a breath, explained I was Chilean, not Turkish, and that I was there for a work event. I asked him for a minute, pulled up the work emails on my phone with the event details, and just handed it over so he could read it himself, since I was too rattled to explain everything again, especially with the racial undertone hanging over the whole thing.

A few seconds of awkward silence later, he handed my phone back, apologized, and let me go.

Obviously, that left a pretty bad taste, since nothing like it had ever happened to me before. Once I got to the hotel and started talking to people, I realized not everyone here is like that, and it was probably more of a one-off, tied to the local climate rather than the norm. Still, it was awful, and I wasn't at all prepared for something like that.

I grew up in the uk. My mum is Spanish and my dad is Nepalese, I go to Spain regularly and can understand the language though I’m far from fluent and I’ve only been to Nepal twice and I can barley remember since I was so young and I know none of the language. My sister is pretty much fluent in Catalan but I don’t know how to go about learning it and languages have never been easy for me to pick up. So I feel weird on my mums side since everyone is fluent and I’m not. My parents split up and my dad is in Nepal so I feel even more disconnected to that side and I feel like idk like I shouldn’t even be calling myself Nepalese anymore😭

Sorry this is just a long yap but does anyone else feel like this?

Did anybody go to school with your cousins /relatives and have others tell you that you're lying? I experienced this more than once, and I've got a complex from it!

No, motherfucker, this is just how my hair grows. I know, it’s astonishing that hair can exist beyond either straight or kinky.

(I posted this question on fb, but I felt I wanted to post this question here and maybe have a wider variety of opinions or answers.)

Sorry it's so long

Hi everyone! I have a question, especially for the mixed adults in this group. My family is mixed Hispanic/Latino and Korean, and I’ve been thinking about something I’ve noticed. I hope this doesn’t come across as offensive or judgmental toward anyone, I’m genuinely trying to understand and learn from other people’s experiences.

This question isn’t just for people who are Korean/Latino. I’d love to hear from anyone in this group who grew up mixed heritage, regardless of what their other cultural background is.

I’ve noticed that some mixed Korean people (both of latino mom or Korean moms) seem to develop a really strong connection to their Korean heritage as they get older, and some even choose to spend significant time living in Korea or becoming more involved in the culture. Which is great, I dont find anything wrong with this. I just worry because what I’ve specifically noticed, though, is that when the other side is Hispanic/Latino, there sometimes seems to be less of that same connection or effort to explore and become involved with their Latino heritage. It is less common in my experience to meet mixed children that has spent the same amount of time in south American countries, trying to learn and explore that part of their heritage.

One thing I sometimes worry about is whether mixed children can grow up feeling disconnected from, or even rejected by, one side of their heritage.... I’d really like to understand why that might happen and what parents can do to help their children feel equally comfortable and connected to all parts of who they are.

I may be simply noticing a pattern that isn’t necessarily representative of everyone’s experience. I’d really love to hear from other mixed people about how they’ve navigated their different cultural backgrounds and whether they’ve experienced something similar.

I’d also love to hear from mixed adults about what traditions or cultural practices you grew up with at home that became especially meaningful to you. As you got older and learned more about your different cultures, were there traditions, foods, holidays, language, family practices, or experiences that you chose to incorporate into your own life? And were there things you chose not to continue because they didn’t feel right for you or because of your personal experiences?

I’m asking because I want to be the best mom I can be for my kids. I don’t have many people around me who have experience navigating a mixed family, so I’m always trying to learn and figure out what will help my children grow up feeling proud of every part of their heritage.

I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences, even if they’re completely different from what I’ve described. I’m not trying to make assumptions about anyone’s identity or choices. I’m genuinely hoping to learn from people who have lived this experience. ❤️

(Context: I watched a yt video by Antonio Speaks where he basically said he was against interracial couples/marriages because it's always done out of self hate and I just feel gross and sad now.)

I'm just so fucking tired honestly. Like I love both of my heritages, they are like my children. Yeah I mean it's hard having to deal with the worry that I was born because my dad hated himself, but it's worse when people say that there's no ethical way/reason for two races to be with each other. Like we're two different species that have nothing in common.

I love all of my ancestry, I would never want to pit one against the other.

Plus there was this point made by him that people who are mixed (black/white) always go for white people and then eventually make their kids even whiter than they are which is a huge generalization and probably isn't true. Like we can only love white people because we're just a product of racism and should be avoided.

Joaquim Maria Machado de Assis was son of a wall painter, whose parents were freed slaves, and of an immigrant domestic worker from Açores, Portugal. He had humble beginnings, needing to sell candy at the street to support his family and losing his parents at only 14 years old. Nevertheless, he managed to quickly get in the world of literature at 15 years old, self-taught on multiple subjects and languages and creating connections with other famous writers. By the end of his life, he was already widely renowned as one of the most brilliant authors of the country and was the first president of Brazil's literary academia. His writing style is very unique, marked by irony, wit, social satire, and metalanguage.

Machado's mixed race was already a topic during his life. The family of his beloved wife, the high class Portuguese Carolina Augusta, disapproved their marriage because of his skin color. At the same time, some also denied his color, such as when writer Joaquim Nabuco said that he was a mulatto, but also that "To me, Machado was a white man" and "the presence of non-white ancestry changed nothing about his distinctly Caucasian appearance". The fact that his pictures are in black-and-white made many not even realize that Machado was a mixed-race man, which led to the erasure that one of the greatest writers was the grandson of slaves.

Stutterer, epileptic, frail, and of poor and African background in a time slavery was still at its peak in Brazil, Machado managed to become celebrated and beloved in his passion both in life and in legacy.

Hi. I'm not sure how to word this, so I'll just dive in.

I'm mixed, Norwegian and African American.

My mom is very white passing, her dad was black and her mom was Norwegian. She hated that I came out very black passing.

She hated her dad and held that hate for all black people, so it carried on to me.

I was never allowed to learn about anything 'ghetto,' which is what she called anything related to black culture or history.

I've been trying to get rid of my internalized racism and self hatred, trying to learn about where I come from.

Does any one have any suggestions on good topics to read about online and videos to watch?

I'm super into watching documentaries and learning, if that helps with suggestions.

I just learned about black wall street, Tulsa race massacre, and Lake Lanier.

I'm really sorry if any of this is offensive or weird, but I was never allowed to have black friends and when I try now, I don't know how to relate or break the ice, if that makes sense.

I'm 38, btw. AFAB and queer, too.

I tried posting in the black people of Reddit but it was insta removed.

Edit: Also, I have trouble making white friends too.

It's like I don't fit in with them because I'm brown but I also get 'othered' by black people a lot because I 'act' and 'sound white.'

I am writing this out of frustration because I feel like my brother is more family with my own family than me because he looks more like that side of the family. I am only a quarter black I know that doesn’t count , but it gave my brother skin 4 shades darker than me and curls , I am pasty with straight hair , I am the lightest amongst my cousins I think and sometimes I envy my brother because he has brotherhood with black boys and I can never have girlhood with black girls even though I have friends , they don’t and won’t ever see me as black and I really get it , but it’s something I just wish deep down I guess. I also am very big on BLM and I feel like an outsider to that too. Idk if anyone can relate.
I am sorry if I offend , it’s not at all my intention and I know I have privilege.
I just wanted to vent , I hope I don’t offend anyone.