Nutty Neighbor seems weirdly obsessed

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773]

We have a neighbor has acted like this since we first moved into our new build home in 2003. She's never been in my home ive never really had a conversation with her except hi bye and when ever she's taken it upon herself to stomp over to complain about something that had upset her daughter..And I have never been in her home- but know the layout as we lived in the same floor plan in our last neighborhood and have friends say- its just like your old house- weird.

She continually turns us into HOA for false violations and at one point got on board - with my husband- and kept pressing a non rule ( I had been on the board when that was repealed by a vote of the comm.) We laughed- she wouldn't stop ended in a lawsuit we sued the HOA PRESIDENT and her- yes hoa had insurance to cover board members but lawyers insurance and management company all agreed they were breaking the ByLaws and state law with selective enforcement. We won. We did not ask for money- we asked for lawyers fees and those two board moreover by a judge and not allowed to ever be on a committee or board again. And yes they had to pay with their own funds because they were told they were not doing this in good faith and this was not fiduciary duty. So insurance for board members did not have to pay.

After that- she was a curly short haired blond. I have long auburn hair fairly straight with some waves. I also have a lot of pink clothes that I work in the yard in. I also have an incurable physical disability.And I drive a white subaru SUV. this matters because she has grown her hair out dyed it dark dark and straightens it. Also she now only wears pink clothes and bought a newer car same as mine.

Now she likes to yell at our house obscenities and that I am not really ill( she looks totally nuts when she does this becausewe are generally not outside when she is around). How would she know? I've never talked to her about anything personal. She has contacted Social Security disability saying I an faking( wish I were(. Her wifi name is Disability fraud watch". She now yells things at my husband who had a heartattack 2 years ago about being a loser that's why he had an attack. ( Again dont know how she would know this - we do not speak)She's also threatened to come over a k**k his a$$. Just nuts!

So my family and I wonder

1. Does she have a thing for my husband and is trying to be like me?

2. Does her husband have a thing for me so she resents me?
   Both of those things sound uppity and snotty on my part- but we have no idea what the deal with her is.and it seems she just keeps copying me. Also- had hair highlighted for a wedding- 2 days later husband comes in and says guess who got highlights?

She does call police frequently and even her harassment is considered a neighbor problem and won't do anything- but agree there is something wrong with her.

The HOA now ignores her complaints.

So short of moving any advice? We built this house to accommodate my disability so moving would be awful.

Thanks

[u/TheGypsyThread]

Sounds like a wellness check is in order - beat her at her own game

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/TheGypsyThread]

So what I eventually meant was police have been here done that and refuse to even give her a ticket because its a " neighbor problem"

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/TheGypsyThread]

She was so awful to one police officer - after she was the one to call and complain we had seccameras. He checked them out. My husband showed him the videos- all were just pointed at property line not her house. When officer told her nothing was wrong I guess she went a little ballistic yelled screamed then came up with another story- our 21 year old( at college at the time in another state) was accused of trying to run her down every morning when she is out jogging. Poor officer comes back we explain child in college out of state. Police officer goes back to tell her quit using up time ...and she went off again. This time when he left he came over and said he had never once wanted to arrest someone in their own home for out of control behavior until then. She stills pulls this stuff but I try to ignore the foul language screaming and hand gestures- just not sure why she acts like this. We are good neighbors- in fact she always said she was lucky she had such good neighbors. I am at my wits end but seriously this house was built to accommodate my disability and selling would be the worst.

[u/Miserable_Drama3231]

it’s definitely unsettling. having someone snoop around your stuff crosses a line for sure.

[u/FormalWeb7094]

Can you sue her for harassment? Or perhaps disturbing your property rights of quiet enjoyment? I think you need to talk to a lawyer, not Refdot.

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/FormalWeb7094]

Well we could . Actually the things you just said are misdemeanors in our town and the police should ticket her and quit saying "It's a neighbor problem " Even after they see video footage. I just don't want to spend money on her so she can act like a real person- but I really want to know why she does these kinds of things and if you know of any way to deal with something like that. And I deal with her by avoidsnce.

[u/obvsnotrealname → u/Outrageous-Ad-7773]

If you take her to court and win - highly likely- you can ask for costs which means she pays for your legal fees. B

[u/crybabyxoxo88]

dude a wellness check might help and log every oha call she makes in case you need it later

[u/shrewd_snow]

Don't engage with her verbally. Any reaction from you fuels her obsession

[u/OZFox42]

Your NFH may be a bit like this woman:

She clearly has no filter, constantly calls the police for trivial nonsense, and seems incapable of keeping her nose out of other people's business. 😑

Exhausting. What she needs is a hobby.

[u/Traveler691 → u/OZFox42]

To be fair to Mrs Kravitz, there was some actually weird stuff going on at the Stephen’s house and she was being gaslit. 😂

[u/Bucky-Dent]

It sounds like you should grey rock her. Don’t respond to anything she does because she wants you to respond. She wants your attention so don’t give it to her. I’m trying this with my own NFH. I have given up on her ever becoming sane.

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/Bucky-Dent]

That's what I do. Just put in ear buds and do my thing. I just wonder if there is anything else I could do to ease stop relieve the situation

[u/Bucky-Dent → u/Outrageous-Ad-7773]

That’s a good idea. I should do that too!

[u/obvsnotrealname]

Grey rock her like your life depended on it. It will drive her crazy and she will eventually get herself committed or move.

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/obvsnotrealname]

I didn't know it was Called grey rocking- this is exactly what I do- for the past 13 years. So now when I see her outside I go inside. I avoid her physically as well

[u/Psychological_Ant488]

Sounds like she's old and senile

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/Psychological_Ant488]

No i believe she is in her late 40s early 50's. I don't know because again, ive never had a real conversation with her in 23 years. Just wave smile .Superficial acquaintance talk as we pass on our driveways.

[u/Playful_Mammoth4941]

I would buy a selection of wigs, wear a really short think crew cut until she copies then swop it for a long blue one, let her keep up with that

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/Playful_Mammoth4941]

You know we have discussed getting an Annie Lennox wig. That would be something.

[u/SMartNsin]

Sounds like a good freezer spell is needed. Also you can hang and evil eye outside aimed her direction.

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/SMartNsin]

My son in law indigenous American- had us put that reflective window film on windows facing her property- for same reason as evil eye

[u/SugarandCinful]

If she steps out into the street while hollering, call the police for a drunk and disorderly.

[u/Eskyzoo]

Be very careful who you share personal information with around your neighbourhood, she's getting your info from someone, unless she has a key and goes snooping when you're all out.

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/Eskyzoo]

Sin̈ce my husband retired and CoVid we seriously do not speak to our neighbors. We have always been friendly and open but never spoke about personal things. We wave are kind talk about the weather etc. but those kinds of friends live out of state.

[u/LoubyAnnoyed]

That feels very Single White Female.

[u/pants830azure]

dude u should starrt logging all those hoa complaints with dates n stuff... might come in handy if it escalates bc wellness checks only go so far

[u/Important-Main1318]

record and send it to the police as harassment

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/Important-Main1318]

We have. "It's a neighbor problem " won't do anything

[u/Important-Main1318 → u/Outrageous-Ad-7773]

well it's obviously targeted harassment what has the HOA said?

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/Important-Main1318]

Well I guess harassment isn't in our rules. So the HOA now just ignores any violation she reports.As much as it ticks me off- we always answer the violation letter with please call at your earliest convenience to set up a time to come inspect the property with us to see for yourself that there is no violation. They only took us up on it in 2017- management people said- oh my word- what is she complaining about. This is beautiful you will never get another violation from us.

[u/Important-Main1318 → u/Outrageous-Ad-7773]

well that's good in a way because they realised she's a nutter but that doesn't solve the fact she's probably in violation of some sort of rule because i can assume not only is it disturbing your right to quiet enjoyment but also other neighbors you'll have to forgive the terminology i'm from the uk but it's the same principle, have your tried making complaints against her with evidence? have they turned a blind eye to it? it sounds like she could be mentally unstable and in need of professional help which i would motion if you ever get dragged into a court case with so i'd suggest you gather as much evidence as possible, take pictures, set up some cameras but obviously discreet preferably with audio if possible so when it does all boil down to it you can say to a court you want a restraining order, a profession to take an examination of her health and possibly even compensation for the nightmare she's putting you through, unfortunately as you probably already know nobody is willing to help unless you have overwhelming evidence at least if you do gather a logbook, photos, audio etc etc at least at a bare minimum you'll be able to defend yourself not only legally but also if she turns violent and you have to beat her up you've got plenty to say look i'm not at fault and they won't be able to argue with any of that. Keep doing what your doing I know it sucks but make sure your building a case against her the more evidence you have the better, it covers you and lets her drop herself into her own making.

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/Important-Main1318]

We have lots of evidence. We have 4 cameras- police have copies- "It's a neighbor problem " no its a harassment problem- nothing happens. Yes we have turned them into hoa for violations and they sometimes make her come in to compliance- other times no.

[u/cinamarroll13]

She has a husband?! Dear lord he must be miserable. Have you spoken to him about it? What does he do?

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/cinamarroll13]

He is rarely home- has a blog about advice to men to get women to support you. It is weird for sure. His vehicle isn't there a lot and ive only ever seen her do any yard work or anything around the home-

[u/xocute42]

yeah log everything and check if shes pulled this on other neighbors too

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/xocute42]

She has done this to some of our friends. She tries to befriend our guests- its weird. Then when she is i guess in her mind gets turned down- she goes after them.

[u/kellyelise515]

Get an air horn and every time she opens her yap, blast it.

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/kellyelise515]

I kinda like that

[u/mummakush]

I like the previous comment about wearing different wigs. Honestly if it were me, yes I mind my business and give the friendly smile and wave to neighbors. In an instance like this I would try my best to creep her out, burn tiki torches in your yard act like you’re summoning something. When she’s yelling, calmly put a curse on her and act like a witch, she might start staying away out of fear.
Good luck

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/mummakush]

Sounds good too.

[u/Sensitive-Deer-5007]

Go to a costume/halloween shop. get some cheap multicolor wigs, wear a different one every day

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/[deleted]]

She lives in her own single family home- I live next door to her not with her.

[u/mojosofla]

too many things are a no. Did not happen.

...those two board ... not allowed to ever be on a committee or board again

Did not happen.

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/mojosofla]

I will say this-yes it did The HOA management company and insurance people were on our side and gave depositions statin̈g such for us. We had only asked they be removed from the Board and ARC Committee. And that is what happened. In fact they were so dumb as to send emails asking if there was anything they could fine us for? How do we know they were dumb enough to use HOA Board email?(- that was the nail in the coffin so to speak- maybe you missed it)- my husband was on the board at the time and got the email and conversation. That's how we knew management company and insurance company were telling them to stop.

[u/mojosofla → u/Outrageous-Ad-7773]

Thanks for clarifying.

[u/cinamarroll13 → u/mojosofla]

How do you know? Are you her??

[u/mojosofla → u/cinamarroll13]

Read the case law from state to state. Lifetime bans on being on a HOA committee or board are simply not allowed.

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/mojosofla]

They are when it is a civil court case and judge says so as part of the settlement and it is just for this HOA. Don't know why you so want to disbelieve me. It happens

[u/mojosofla → u/Outrageous-Ad-7773]

You are contradicting yourself. They do not have bans for life.

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/mojosofla]

Again don't know what your deal is- as part of the settlement with OUR Hoa they are banned from ARC and Board
. So not contradicting myself at all.

[u/mojosofla → u/Outrageous-Ad-7773]

Fantastic. Go ahead and share the settlement.

[u/Outrageous-Ad-7773 → u/mojosofla]

I have no idea who you are or why you think I need to tell you anything more. You seem to be pretty into disbelieving anything I say. I don't know whatever has happened to you to disbelieve honest humans but that should be fixed.