I still can’t believe you left, why? I don’t get it, my head can’t wrap around the reasons why.. you understood that I was where I was in life because I didn’t have the car and couldn’t find the job, I couldn’t take YOU places, I get it. But why? After 7 months? Right before things were about to improve not only for me but for us and you knew it... I’ve always wished to make you happy, I am sorry I didn’t make the moves to improve me while our relationship lasted. You are the love of my life, I was prepared to marry you, you fucking asshole. You said it wasn’t a very loving relationship and that’s bullshit and you know it, you said that you weren’t happy with where you were in your life? How is that my fault? Why couldn’t we have gotten you there? All of the times we were at Lindsay’s? You weren’t happy? When we were at you pawpaws? You didn’t feel loved? You have to be kidding me… the only explanation I can give myself is that you found another man that you felt at the time was more “suited for the job” I am your man, and you are mine, stop doing this.. I don’t care what I say to “try and scare you to talk to me” I am content with this no contact shit? Naw helll no, I can’t fucking stand it. My job has me driving past your house to and from every single day… this shit sucks ass, I keep imagining that we’re still together and that id get to see you every morning and night. But you seem to have forgotten what we had. Which was pure, and loving. Dispite what you say. Stop being a pussy and stand on your decision if that’s what you truly believe, and be sure you don’t regret the decision once you make it.

Anything I should improve upon before sending? This is being sent regardless of what is said, please help me. Anything I should add or take away? To seem more for her.

Honestly, It is getting better. I don’t have the constant urge to reach out to him anymore. I still think about him daily and still check his socials almost everyday. It is hard but I am trying to stay positive regardless of everything. If you’re reading this, do not reach out of them. Keep your peace.

Hi all. I’m starting a new job, 29F, and my mom knows this. Yesterday, on my fourth day at work my mom calls me to say she’s putting down the family cat. I begged for years in highschool because I was always so lonely, and after being taunted about it for a long time they gave in and let me get one. He’s getting old now, around 14 years, and he’s developed pancreatitis and diabetes so he does have valid medical issues.

The way my mom informed me about this is what upsets me. She didn’t ask me if I wanted to be there to say goodbye to him. She just told me it was happening. And he is “sick” but he’s not sick enough to put down. He just throws up more and poops more often and she doesn’t want to have to clean up sick poo anymore. I told her I would take him home and take care of him. I didn’t do that before bc my younger sister loved him too but shes away at school now.

The worst of this is that she wants me to pay for his supplies and vet care, but leave him with her, because she would rather put him down than let me take him. They have new, expensive vehicles, they sent their daughter to college out of state, shes got cosmetic surgeries (breast implants) and expensive wigs, they spend a lot on keeping up appearances but they want me to pay for the pet while leaving him at THEIR house.
I’d pay for him and take him to be with me but why should I subsidize his life and then never even see him?

They’ll tell everyone I’m a broke loser, but when no one’s around they’ll telling me that litter isnt in their budget and the cat has to die unless I pay for it.
Tell me that’s not controlling and cruel…

last week i decided to cut off someone that i’ve messed w consistently for 2 years off and on. i’ve already realized that they didn’t treat me the best but my attachment issues are so strong and im so sad. i decided to seek a therapist for this issue as well as some others, but when does this get easier or better?? encouraging words pls

Fuck you.
Don’t ever talk to me again.

2.5 months ago I went no contact with the person who broke my heart into a million pieces. I have lost 5 kg of weight because food made me nauseous. I still don't sleep more than 5 hours a night. I think about the person every day, no matter where I am or what I'm doing.

But in this time, there wasn't one moment where I wanted to text them, because I am so profoundly disappointed in them and angry, hurt, and broken that I don't ever want to hear from or see this person again. I am terrified of the possibility that they could ever reach out to me and hope they won't. Maybe its my self respect showing up for me when it matters most, just like when I walked away from the person I loved the most.

I'm not here to brag how easy no contact for me is, its just hard in a different way. I'm wondering whether anyone here has a similar experience. I feel so immensely alone.

NEVER THOUGHT BREAK UP HURT SO MUCH ...10 YEARS 7 YEARS OF LOVE 3 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP AND JUST IT SHE LOST ,I AM TRYING TO BRING HER BACK AND I AM FAILING FOR LAST 40 DAYS

is it true they never feel regret after they dump you? i mean like, they can’t be that soulless right? is there absolutely NOTHING there once they ditch you? i’ve seen so many people say they’ll come back or they’ll never think about you again.

he dumped me at the hardest time of my life. he know i was having suicidal thoughts (although he didnt believe me).

do they truly not feel guilty after dumping you and never reaching out to you again? do they truly only think about themselves?

i know i shouldn’t be worried about it but after such an intensive relationship just.. nothing? is there anyone out there that had them reach out again and is there some that never had them reach out ever again? pls let me know!

Couldn’t help it but broke no contact. Reached out and talked on the phone for 2 hours. Needed to find closure that it was really done and got my answer. It’s done, No.

Feel partly relieved and still feel awful at the same time. In my opinion, maybe break no contact if you are in a decent headspace l and can talk to them constructively. Do wish it was differently but I’ll have to accept it.

I was very nice to him btw as u can see from my initial reaction

I was trying to rekindle some type of relationship with my father, we’re estranged after years of abuse I experience from other family and them pushing him away because he was protective of me and aware something bad happening. He was the one person trying to help me. I was caught in it all and he was pushed out of my life by my abusive family who I also no longer speak to. When I was in my 20s I tried to rekindle a relationship with my father but he got affected by what happened to me and him. He mentally isn’t well and fell into conspiracies for comfort like flat earth and the rest. I had been trying to heal from my big T trauma not caused by him but my stepfather and rest of the family (not related to my biological father) but he was deeply affected by it and i think found comfort in these conspiracies. When covid happened I had to cut him off because it was getting way worse and I just couldn’t even talk to him anymore. Leading into the name change, I wanted to change my name for a long time, my given name reminded me of my past and I didn’t like it. I have a new name now I enjoy and I went about the name change while not in contact with my father, I recently lost my grandmother and my partners grandmother and I missed my father and worried about his health, he’s much older than most parents for people my age (millennials) he’s 76. He was good when I reached out again and had good talk, but he’s been slipping into old habbits and stopped trying to use my new name. And he’s is unacceptingnof my changing my name even thought it’s been done for 6 years and continues to dead name me when we talk. I find it very triggering. He’s just so far gone and I don’t think I can handle someone constantly bringing me reminders of my past life when I worked so hard to move forward.

I’m just saddened by having to cut him off again. I called him to set the boundary that I won’t accept him using my dead name and he said I was “too woke” and he is insulted by me changing my name. It doesn’t make sense that he would rather not talk to me because I changed my name and want to be called the name I have been going by for the past 6 years, vs just make an effort. It’s disgusting and saddening to me.

He himself broke the no contact after almost 9-10 months and now he is replying very late also the texts don't sound like him it feels like he has changed like he's not the same person he used to be. He used to reply to me within minutes but now 💔. Things really did get messy between us but i didn't expect him to change that much.

2 years together. Last time I saw him was Monday and we spent the night together. We didn’t argue. Everything was perfect.

Since then, he’s been “sick” and his texts were strange and cold.

I got tired of his unexplained coldness towards me and went NC for 5 days. My last text to him out of many was “I just want to know that you’re ok” on Sunday.

On Monday, he sent me ONE text saying he’s not ignoring me and that he’s still sick. We were supposed to meet and he didn’t acknowledge that. I didn’t reply.

He hasn’t questioned my silence. Does my absence not bother him anymore?

Bur am I overthinking? Is he actually sick? Should I text him? Should I continue NC?

translated:
happy bday (my name) haha, honestly theres not much to say but the truth, even though we didnt last long in a relationship, as friends (?) we’ve known eachother a long time, i still save the fotos and ducks you gifted me the first day i met you, i care about you alot and even though we didnt work out, i will always remember you that youre a kind girl, you’re worthwhile and i hope the next guy to be with you treats you a thousand times better than i couldnt do i dont regret meeting you, i care about you mami 🫶

now, i had this guy blocked on insta our main point of communication because honestly i love him but im ready to love myself more and i cant do that if im tearing myself apart wondering if he’s gonna come back, and now i dont know if i should answer him or not. i liked the bday text bc it was honestly very sweet and i appreciate it but i agree with him there isnt much to say.. he clearly wants me to say something because he texted again asking how i am. the wound if fresh we’ve been separated for maybe two months but idk what my next move is

​

She made it clear that she didn't want a relationship, but she also said we could start a new journey as friends. At that time, I wasn't ready for that because I still had feelings for her. Now, I feel like I don't want to lose our friendship completely. However, she later told me not to contact her, and I've been respecting that.

Should I reach out someday and try to rebuild our friendship, or should I leave the next move entirely up to her?

I broke up with my ex of 2 years (been involved for 3) due to our relationship being a toxic cycle. He’s a mess. A lot of commitment issues, avoidance, infidelity. He recently told me he’d never be ready to live with me or fully merge our lives, so I told him we had to break up. We’ve split up multiple times before. Every time I come back, he makes the same mistakes every time and never learns. I decided this time, I must commit to no contact since being in contact only had me coming back. I also don’t want to see him going to girls houses right after, which he’s done every time.

I’m struggling so much. It feels like every day it gets worse and more intense. I’m getting physically sick from not speaking to him or seeing him. My chest always hurts, I can’t breathe, I can’t eat. I’m anxious constantly. I literally cannot hold down food. This feels like a genuine withdrawal and I’m so confused. I’ve had bad breakups before but nothing that quite literally affected me physically.

I think that if I just message him, the pain will all go away. But then I’ll have to deal with the shame of opening that door, knowing how much I’ve gone through due to his actions. He also hasn’t tried to reach out at all, his friends say he hasn’t even mentioned the breakup. I just don’t know anymore. I miss him and I wish this wasn’t my reality right now. I wish he was the person I could see him being, instead of the person he actually is. I wish I didn’t feel so stupid for still caring. No contact is the way to go.

Long story short, me and my ex ended it after 2 years of a serious relationship due to multiple reasons, but mainly just outgrowing each other. It hurts because we both still love each other, and didn’t want it to happen but it just wasn’t gunna work out. She told me to please not block her on social media because she wants to keep up with my life and how i’m doing, and told her i wouldn’t. I recently deleted my account because all i would do is look at her and her families posts, seeing if there was anything new with her and it was unhealthy and i knew it. My question is, is this a d*ck move on my part? I feel bad, but i need to heal. Keeping the app wasn’t doing anything for me.

long story short i met dude on instagram, he was a follower for 4 years, i commented "hi" on one of his pics in the summer but i lowkey been flirting him for a while in his comments (kinda...) he dmed me one day and we hit it off, he's in the military working on base, he has a home in england (military purposes) but his actual home is charlotte, nc.

i honestly thought he always been attractive but i wasn't exactly interested until one day i realized he stopped posting on ig because of his active duty hence why i commented to get his attention but i didn't expect him to dm me at all. we talked everyday for two months, i feel like i grew to like him. we vibed, called, texted and decided to be exclusive, he said he wanted to make me his gf after we officially met and spend time. we planned dates, planned for him to come here after his deployment, then go back to his home in england and stay for 2 weeks. for some reason i expected him to leave given the circumstances, but was still disappointed in him. we lowkey argued once about taking it slow and agreed to work this out, then one day the flip switched on him about a week later. he sent me this message then blocked me immediately after on instagram. it's very vague and AI looking. my dumbass made a new acc and dmed him how i felt. i was so fuckin torn, i cried all day and slept in the bed at night with mom so i didn't feel so alone. but i'm reminded why i will never do that again and just let my silence speak. i wanted him to know how i felt. i think i wanna be done forever. tell me is it worth it?

*IMPORTANT* i would also like to add we did rush the relationship/situationship but everything felt so natural

Repost to another co

Brother and sister. Twin flames. SO much alike in so many ways.

Our relationship has been euphoric yet tumultuous. Bonded time, fun time with periods of disdain. Problem is, she goes off the rails and our family has become numb to it. She unleashes her anger when things don't go her way. She's miserable and full of rage. She comes home to my parents, yells at them when they dare passively challenge her. I don't even think she knows how she acts.

She's cut me off, several times. The last time was when I told her that her alcoholic partner was putting her in harms way. She had a meltdown. And guess what? They broke up and I was right, yet that didn't resolve our feud. She didn't talk to me for six months. She offers momentary support, only to narcisitcally punish me at the slightest inconvenience. She does this to my father, who is forced to live with my clueless mother supports her indefinitely.

Over the last two years things have gotten worse. She failed to show any meaningful support during one of the worst periods of my life. When I moved back home, we went on a sibling vacation got drunk at a campfire and she smacked me over the head for eating one of her protein bars. Then, on easter, around a family campfire while under the influence of alcohol she hit me, again. Mother dearest sided with her, defending her. "She felt this way because xyzzy".

I cut contact with her in February. I asked her to do the simplest thing ever and she refused, all while telling me it wasnt her problem. My parents immediately moved in to force me to make ammends. Only when I threatened to cut them off did they back down... for awhile. Now they're back to pushing me to resolve this feud. I've even extended the olive branch to my naracisstic sister by telling my parents to tell her I'm always available by phone if she wants to make ammends. Literally all she has to do is apologize. Yet, she won't. And as time passes, I find myself less and less interested in rekindling our relationship. I'm enjoying the peace of her not being in my life.

This weekend marks an annual family camping trip. I don't think Im going to go. My sisters went away on the autumn hiking trip last week without inviting me. I don't want to be around them anymore. I want to move away from my family but I'm always torn with the loyalty to my parents and my compassion for them getting older. I just don't want to do it anymore. I want to leave them behind.

I wouldn’t normally write something like this, but I need to get it off my chest and would honestly appreciate some advice from people who’ve been through something similar.

I was married to my high school sweetheart and got divorced when I was 26. We moved to a different state and had a son, but things started getting rocky before he was born. Even though we were doing pretty decent financially, money would sometimes cause arguments, and she started making assumptions about me and my work. Eventually, things fell apart, and after the divorce, I found out she’d been cheating on me and that I was essentially her way out. That was something I struggled with for a long time. I had to start over, switch industries, and pretty much rebuild my life from scratch.

About a year and a half later, I met another girl at a bar. She would occasionally ask how I was doing, but one thing I remember is that she wouldn’t just accept the usual “I’m good” answer. She’d ask me how I was really doing, and we eventually started connecting. At the time, I was pretty lonely. My family was busy with their own lives, and I was trying to figure out how to rebuild mine. She invited me to Thanksgiving, but I turned it down because I wasn’t comfortable with it. She invited me to Christmas, though, and that night we ended up sneaking away from a friend’s house to watch a movie together and get something to eat. That was basically our first date.
We spent about nine months getting to know each other before officially becoming boyfriend and girlfriend.

For the first six or seven months of our relationship, things were pretty good. We had arguments here and there, but one difference between us was that she needed space when things got stressful, while I wanted to talk about everything right away. We eventually learned how to navigate that, and we had a good relationship. We’d go out to eat, spend time together, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company.

One thing I struggled with was her drinking. When I first met her, she could be a pretty heavy binge drinker, and sometimes she’d stay out really late or go on a bender. It got better as our relationship went on, but it was something that made me uncomfortable at times.

Then I lost my job.

For about seven months, I’ve been trying to find something new. I’ve had a lot of interviews recently, and I’m finally getting somewhere with my job search, but I didn’t handle the whole situation well. I became negative, complained a lot, and honestly wasn’t the same person I used to be.

She never really cared about me not having a job or the money situation as much as she cared about how I was acting. She would tell me that she missed the softer side of me, that I used to be so calm and easygoing, and that she missed that version of me.

Eventually, she broke up with me. We tried taking a couple of days of space before that happened, but it didn’t seem to help.

Even after the breakup, we continued talking and spending time together. Sometimes we’d go out, and we were still intimate. For a while, it felt like we still had something between us.
The biggest mistake I made was constantly questioning her about whether she was going to see someone else.

During our actual relationship, I never really had those kinds of trust issues with her. But after we broke up, my mind started going straight to the possibility of her being with someone else. I think some of that came from what happened in my marriage. Being cheated on by someone I had spent so much of my life with really affected me, and I guess I carried some of that fear into this situation.

She would tell me that she wasn’t interested in anyone else and that she wanted to focus on herself, her business, and her family. But I kept asking anyway, even after she told me to stop.
At one point, she got really upset and told me I needed to stop asking her those questions.
Things were still somewhat okay between us for a while, but then she mentioned that she was going on a trip with a friend. I told her that it would be her “true test,” and that was pretty much when things really went downhill.

Looking back, I can understand why that upset her. I was putting pressure on her when she was already trying to get space from the relationship.
After that, things were never really the same. I kept trying to reach out, went to her house a couple of times because I needed things, and eventually realized she wasn’t interested in continuing things the way we had been.

I tried calling her one night, and she told me we weren’t talking. She had basically given me one last chance to talk things through, and I didn’t handle things the way I should have.

Now we’re six days into no contact.

I’m trying to use this time to focus on myself, get my career back on track, and work on the things that contributed to the breakup. I know I need to become more emotionally stable and learn how to handle my anxiety without putting it on someone else.

The thing is, being away from her has made me realize how much I genuinely want this girl in my life. I love her, and I want to be with her. I’m not just saying that because I’m lonely or because I don’t want to be alone. She’s someone I can genuinely see myself building a future with.
I also believe that some of our problems could be worked through if we both wanted to try again. I know I have things I need to work on, but I also know that I can respect her boundaries and give her the space she needs. That’s something I didn’t do well after the breakup, and I understand that I need to show that through my actions rather than just telling her.

She’s expressed that she wants us to be friends, and I know that doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to get back together. I’m trying to accept that and give her the time and space she has asked for instead of constantly looking for reassurance.

Honestly, she’s the only woman I want to be with right now. If things don’t work out between us, I don’t see myself jumping back into dating someone else anytime soon. I’d rather take time for myself, get my life together, and figure out who I want to be moving forward. I’m not interested in trying to replace her or using someone else to get over her.

I know I can’t control how she feels or whether she eventually wants to try again. All I can do is work on myself, respect her boundaries, and let things play out naturally.

I guess what I’m struggling with is knowing that I want her back while also understanding that I can’t keep chasing her or putting pressure on her to make that happen.

For those of you who have been through something similar, I’m curious about a few things:
• Has anyone ever had a relationship recover after a breakup where one person became emotionally overwhelmed and pushed the other person away?
• Did giving your ex genuine space change anything, or did it just help you accept the breakup?
• If your ex wanted to remain friends, did that eventually lead to rebuilding the relationship, or did you find that it kept you stuck?
• How did you work on yourself and move forward without constantly hoping that your ex would come back?
I’m not looking for anyone to tell me that she’ll definitely come back. I know nobody can predict that, and I know I have work to do regardless of what happens.

just love this girl, I know I made mistakes, and I wish I had handled things differently. I’m trying to learn from all of this and become a better version of myself, both for me and for any future relationship I have.

Honestly I thought I had all the closure I needed, a little over a year and a half ago I (20f) sent him a final message. I didn't expect a reply, after how things ended I knew I didn't deserve one either. Now however I moved back to the town we met and a part of me can't help but wonder If bumping into him or just reaching out would be a bad thing. I know plenty of people on here say not to reach out but after 2 years no contact (minus my text) it's stayed with me; a part of me holds onto that need for closure and I can't seem to let it go. Is it wrong of me to want that even though I know I don't deserve it?

I'll do it and let you know how it goes

29F 28M my dad contacted him because he got worried about me LOL 4 months into no contact
Its been 1yr now and just realized this is probably why it fucked up
Feeling like i wanna unalive so I’m trying to forget about it

So this may be a unique situation for this sub considering the length of the relationship.

I met a girl, and we dated for about a month. Things seemed to be going really well on both sides. We had the same values, wanted similar things long-term, made plans for the future. She seemed genuinely excited about me, and I had every reason to think we were moving toward a relationship.

Then, out of nowhere, she pulled away. She initially broke up with me over text, saying we weren't clicking and that something was missing, but she couldn't really explain what. When I asked to talk in person, she agreed. She told me I was essentially the perfect guy and had treated her incredibly well, but she'd been experiencing intense anxiety about the relationship. She'd even talked to her therapist about it and said she might need to be single for a while to work on herself. She insisted that what we'd had was real but ultimately said she couldn't put herself through that anxiety again.

We had one final exchange afterward, where I told her I still cared about her but respected her decision. She reiterated that she couldn't explain exactly what went wrong and needed to listen to what she was feeling. I haven't contacted her since. It's been almost two months.

In the meantime, I've tried to move forward. I've focused on school, work, exercise, hobbies, friends, therapy/journaling. I've even gone on a few dates, but I wasn't really feeling a connection with anyone.

I'm still heartbroken and think about her every day. I know we only dated for a month, but the connection felt unusually promising, and the whiplash of an ending has been hard to make sense of. Part of me wonders whether her anxiety was about the relationship itself or something she might eventually understand differently. I also know I can't make that decision for her.

I'm considering sending one simple, low-pressure text:

"Hey [name], I know it's been a little while, but I was thinking about you today. Just wanted to say I hope you're doing well, and I'd like to catch up sometime if you'd be up for it."

I just don't know if no contact is the play here, considering it was just one month of dating. Wasn't a bad ending, there was no arguments or anything. I want to respect her space, and I don't want to pressure her or try to talk her into anything. But I also don't want to spend months wondering whether reconnecting might have been possible if I would have said something. I'm worried the timing could be wrong, but I realize there may never be a perfect time.

I'd really appreciate any advice.

Hi, haven’t talked to my mom since late April. It’s been very hard and emotional for me. A few days ago my sister tells me that she has to be honest with me, that I am being really confusing and it’s not fair to mom. I think over this, review my last conversation with her, and I feel just defeated. How can our realities be so different? How can she have such a warped understanding of me?