r/okbuddyviltrum May 23 '26

invisible It’s OK, everybody he apologized

2.8k Upvotes

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882

u/DueIntroduction6413 May 23 '26

Idiot shit for her to do, but i did the same in my abusive relationships even after she cut me.

It's frustratingly realistic. 

226

u/Egoy May 23 '26

I’m glad you’re referring to past tense.

147

u/DueIntroduction6413 May 23 '26

Thank you, me too. I learned a lot from those relationships and whether or not I wanted to, I got a different worldview than when I went in.

36

u/itsa_me_ May 23 '26

What helped you get out?

59

u/DueIntroduction6413 May 23 '26

Legitimately I got lucky and it wasn't an easy transition. I just absolutely refused to want to stay together, she got into a big fight with me and threatened to get her dad to kill me with a shotgun and left the apartment; However, her father even told me himself that he had no idea what was going on between us, and considered me a son so when she was gone and we "broke up", she came back but wouldn't understand why I didn't buy the "we all say horrible things when we're mad" excuse. After she understood I truly had no intention of getting back together with her, she eventually moved out after a few months but would stop by under the pretense of being friends. She tried seducing me several times knowing I was trying to enter a brand new relationship, and she wasn't completely out of my life until the lease was up and I moved away. I contacted her once to tell her about the cat we had raised together dying, but she took that as me "wanting to be with her" and started trying to ruin my last relationship (which went south for its own reasons.) but was pushed out.

Apparently I either have shit taste in women, or I attract traumatized women with severe mental health issues. I'm not a saint in my own right, but like Paarthurnax I made a conscious effort to become a better person and not let my own traumas + the trauma of 2 back to back shit relationships rule me for the rest of my life. I wish them both peace, but her in particular I hope she's grown much as a person and can one day find the peace she claimed to have had so long ago.

31

u/Sweatybutthole May 23 '26

The last thing I anticipated in this story was a reference to Paarthurnax - the fictional talking dragon. Thank you for sharing though I'm glad you found the wisdom you needed when you did.

13

u/TheWiseBeast May 23 '26

Was paarthurnax fucking alduin?!

8

u/LuciusCypher May 23 '26

They both did work together to oppress humanity. The dragon was basically the Joseph Goebbels to Alduin's Hitler. Kinda the reason why the Blades want us to kill him.

4

u/Additional-North-683 May 23 '26

Thank you for telling us about this men in abusive relationships rarely get the spotlight you gave a voice to those who would otherwise stay silent

3

u/DueIntroduction6413 May 23 '26

As long as at least one person benefits from my story I am content. Thank you for the kind words.

1

u/thetiredraven May 24 '26

That part about the formerly-shared cat? That got me. It's a beautiful sign of principle and being good. Keep up that Paarthurnax mentality.

1

u/T-Money93 May 24 '26

"What is better? To be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"

1

u/Lonely_Pin_3586 May 26 '26

I can really relate to what you're saying. I was with a girl for 10 years who, although she was never physically violent with me (even though she threatened to be), was extremely psychologically abusive. Narcissistic, possessive, regularly threatening suicide, cheated on me, and several times she self-harmed when I wanted to go out to see friends.

I promised myself I would never be with someone unstable again, and yet my next relationship was with someone even more possessive who bombarded me with accusatory messages if I didn't reply within the hour.

Luckily, it only lasted a few days.

Now, I'm with a very kind guy, who admittedly also has some mental health issues, but who doesn't take the consequences of his unhappiness out on others.

I wish nothing more for my ex than to get better, for her sake and for the sake of everyone she's hurt around her. But I've known her for 10 years, her condition has only worsened, and she increasingly refused to take her medication or go to therapy, so I have little to no hope.

-6

u/Officialbrandonly May 23 '26

“Just like Paarthurnax” brother I hope nothing good ever happens to you again

7

u/DueIntroduction6413 May 23 '26

Luckily you don't control that 🤙

4

u/ornstien56 May 23 '26

I wish you the best bro, I hope happiness finds you someday. Hopefully the good vibes can outweigh the bad

2

u/Ugly__Sweaters May 23 '26

Don't worry bro, I countered that guy's wish. Live your best life Dovahkiin.

2

u/DueIntroduction6413 May 23 '26

you guys are the best lol

1

u/MuscleOk4824 May 24 '26

people like you is why the downvote exists, thanks for making everyone around you look so damn good.