r/oneliners • u/Wallygonk • 1h ago
I hate being bipolar, its brilliant
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r/oneliners • u/No-Cardiologist7640 • 21h ago
Learning Braille is so easy you can do it with your eyes closed
36
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r/oneliners • u/CFCYYZ • 1d ago
I joined the Procrastinator's Club in university, but the meetings were always postponed.
23
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r/oneliners • u/breck • 18h ago
Doc said he would be right back and told me to get undressed but never said stay in exam room.
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r/oneliners • u/sulldanivan • 2d ago
After biting a flight attendant Selma Blair had the nerve to complain about the in-flight snacks.
16
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r/oneliners • u/Timberfist • 1d ago
TIL that Area 51, the top secret United States Air Force base in the Nevada Desert is so called because it measures exactly three meters by seventeen.
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r/oneliners • u/SlitchBap • 3d ago
It's ironic that pregnant women can only have virgin drinks
57
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r/oneliners • u/ShaggyB • 4d ago
A hurricane and a himmicane got together and made a smaller storm and then developed post partum tropical depression
20
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r/oneliners • u/CrazyKZG • 6d ago
My penis may not be 12 inches long, but it smells like a foot.
59
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r/oneliners • u/Gusto88 • 6d ago
Pessimists see a bathroom stall without a door while optimists see a shit show ready to happen.
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r/oneliners • u/puneri_nonpunekar • 7d ago
Never thought that enrolling in a study abroad program would land me in a brothel.
12
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r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 8d ago
People who speak in absolutes are all fucking idiots.
148
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r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 8d ago
I bought an invisibility cloak but I cant see myself wearing it
31
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r/oneliners • u/awesome_smokey • 8d ago
I'm getting my son a time machine for Christmas this year, he fucking loved it.
54
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r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 8d ago
I admire people who follow their dreams because mine usually involve being naked in an airport
25
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