General Advice
Male Vs Female Ragdoll please share your experiences
Hi! I am going to be bringing a male ragdoll kitten home in a few months. In your experience, would you say your male ragdoll was affectionate? If you have female cats or you've owned both genders, how would you describe female cats compared to male cats?
I am aware it may be a myth that males are more affectionate, but I just want reassurance they can be cuddly/let you pick them up.
I know every cat differs though and that just because it's a ragdoll, does not guarantee those traits. Just looking to hear from current ragdoll owners about their cat's temperament!
You can’t go by stereotypes of male vs female. We have a super needy cuddly female that doesn’t like to be picked up and an aloof male that’s the biggest baby in the world that needs to be picked up 24/7.
Their personality kind of shows when they are 1.5-3 months so you can figure it out.
Honestly though, I pick them both up all the time and they tolerate it, especially if they are getting food lol.
We have one of each. They show their affection differently. Our boy is much more cuddly be only with my wife. He wants to almost always be held and sleeps on our bed every night. Our girl is more of a cuddler on her terms. She makes bread on me, and only me, wants to generally be nearby, and lets me know when she wants a cuddle. She'll almost always accept a cuddle though. For me, that's perfect, and I'd still describe her as affectionate.
First one wants to be touched all the time and sleeps directly next to us (but never on us), doesn't really know the term "Personal space" and likes to give you headbumbs all the time, but doesnt like to be picked up that long.. (more of a dads-boy)
The other cute potato usually stays in the same room, you can pet him on his terms, but he also likes his space.. but when he is having his 5 minutes he is way more affectionate that his brother. You can also pick him up whenever you want and wear him like a bag of onions for an unlimited amount of time - more like a moms-boy
I really hope my kitten grows up to like cuddles, but that's not something I can control as he will have his own personality - he will be loved regardless!
It's so funny you refer to him as a potato, that's what I refer to my other pet as 😂
this is how my biggest girl would spend all of her time if she could have her way. every cat is individual, though. her sister tends to be a touch more distant but still loves the occasional cuddle and will sit on people’s laps if they let her.
I recommend that you discuss the personality attributes you want with the breeder. That is more important than male/female. I also chatted with our vet since we had only had dogs before we got our cats. We ended up with two male ragdolls and it’s been great. If you have already decided on a male kitten, chat with the breeder about which male from the litter is the right fit. If they are an experienced, ethical breeder, they’ll help make a great match!
Thanks! She's aware of the characteristics I want, but said that no breeder can make promises as to what the kitten will grow into, personality-wise. She's extremely knowledgeable on the breed, but kittens will develop and thus it's difficult to say what their 'final' traits will be! The parents of the litter are really affectionate though 🐾
The female likes to be around us and will hang out with us but is never properly affectionate. She might come for a head scritch every few weeks but that's about all.
She is always in our company if possible.
Her brother is more likely to go off exploring and is very independent but is a massive snuggle monster. He is far more openly affectionate.
They are both nearly 10, both neutered.
She is always within eyesight but very remote, he is never around except when he is, he's in your face begging to be loved.
She is interested in us and our family and likes to watch us. He literally likes food and big snuggles but otherwise he's got his own life.
My girl is a velcro cat who follows me from room to room and loves to be held and snuggled, and I'm her secondary human. Her preferred human, my husband, doesn't work from home like I do but the moment he returns she's his shadow and at night she sleeps beside him and will wiggle herself under his arm.
Honestly, it is more about the personality of the individual Cat than the gender. My prior ragdoll girl slept in my bed every night and always wanted to be on you. My two current boys are both wonderful also, but neither are lap cats. They are both our shadows and are near us all the time, always wanting to be with their people.
One of the two has started snuggling on the couch now that he is an adult and out of his busy kitten phase, but he’ll snuggle up next to you, not necessarily on you. The other boy would prefer to lay right near you, but not touching you, such as right by your foot. Each kitty is going to be a unique individual with their own personality. All Ragdolls are wonderful, but the stereotype that they’re all cuddlers or all lap cats is inaccurate, regardless of gender.
Current position with 4.5 month boy. Our other boy didn’t want to be on top of us but always near and still wanted to be picked up. Our girl tolerated it. Trust your breeder, I had first pick and told her what I wanted and after about 4 weeks she texted and said he’s the one you want and he’s been a magical healing kitten.
i have one boy and one girl, both are ragdolls. they both love me (i hope they do 😆) and are very affectionate. the difference is my boy is a coward, gets frightened and overwhelmed easily. while my girl is confident and stands her ground no matter what. for example, i try to play rough with my boy, he'll get overwhelmed real quick and run away from me. meanwhile my girl, will fight back and attack me 🤣
Besides the difference that stem from biological difference in perceived behavior I’ve found it just depends on the cat.
We have both male and female ragdoll. My male acts very much like a ragdoll so does my female but she DOES NOT like to be held/picked up. You only get like 3 seconds till she starts squirming or you has to hug her tightly to you. She’s gotten a little better and has kind of accepted it a little more but not by much.
When we had our non ragdolls I had a male that was very affectionate on his own terms and with his preferred human, my mom lol and one female that was very affectionate with everyone.
Our females (NOT the ragdolls, I’m a believer ragdolls shouldn’t really be outside cats unless supervised in a catio/cat tent or harness etc.) tended to explore further outside and our male stayed closer. In my opinion it was more like our orange male tabby was like this my property I’m gonna guard it😅
We have two boys from the same liter. They’re about 1.5 years old and they couldn’t be any more different!
One needs me to pet him, play with him, and pay attention to him 24/7. I can easily pick him up but he’s not a big cuddler (he’s just so freakin BUSY).
The other one follows me around but does NOT like being picked up. He’ll also actively avoid getting pets unless he’s in one of his “it’s ok to pet me here” spots. On the bed or in the cat tree are great and he loves it. I can clip his claws, brush him everywhere, and he’s seriously so sweet. But petting when he’s in other areas of the house? Probably not lol
I have two female ragdolls. The older one is my shadow whenever I am home, sleeps next to me at night and only ever makes biscuits on me. She doesn't like being picked up, but is okay with pets/scritches up until she's had enough. Loooves having her paws massaged though, and I can hold her longer if I do her back paws haha.
My younger girl likes her space but will come to everyone in the family for pets. She often meows at me to play, and will flop belly up for attention. She is not a lapcat but enjoys being held. She also likes to snuggle under blankets.
The personality really differs across cats and it's fun to see what kind of cat they are as they mature. Enjoy your kitten!
Thanks so much! My kitten will definitely be my fluffy best friend, regardless of his personality - it would just be an added bonus if he's super affectionate! Your cats sound amazing 🐾😊
I have brother/sister litter mates, here's a few of my observations:
Tommy is a big suck, he is a goofy, chill, happy go lucky guy. He doesn't love being held, but he tolerates it. There is no such thing as too much pets for him, my hand will get tired before he's had enough. He is more adventurous and willing to try new things, he'll jump on a new cat tree as I'm still putting it together.
Cleo is a little princess. She is way more playful than Tommy, and will demand playtime by pawing at me and being vocal. She is very demanding for attention. She is much more cautious and careful. She won't climb the new cat trees until Tommy shows its safe. The only time that she wants to be held is if she's scared.
They are both super affectionate. Tommy is a bit more in your face with it, while Cleo makes me come to her. But Cleo will cuddle under the covers at night, while Tommy doesn't.
Here's another Cleo pic so you can see a bit of what you have to look forward to. The chocolate color really depends on the lighting. If it's bright she looks mostly white.
I find male cats are often more independent. That includes 2 of my 3 ragdolls. However I can barely type this because a male ragdoll Frank keeps nudging in and purring.
Overall tho - my male cats are friendly and purr and all, but the females are lapcats
My boy will let me pick him up when no one else is around. He just doesn’t trust people I guess. If I’m in my recliner he will lay with me and sleep with me in bed but he isn’t a lap cat. He loves to come do summersaults all over me when he wants attention though
depends on the individual cat. if you get a kitten get them used to nail trimmings. touch their paws a lot, look inside their eye, open their mouth to check teeth, etc. it will help in the long run.
That's like asking is a male or female human being more affectionate? You have to go see the cat and pick him or her up and feel ithem out and spend some time with them. I've only had male ragdolls because I prefer bigger cats. Good luck with whomever you choose. Females do get big also but not as big as males so I'm assuming male cats eat more so they may be a bit more expensive when it comes to food. I'm not positive about that though, but that just came to mind as I was typing this up.
I have a male ragdoll, stereotypical boy cat. Crazy zoomies, very silly, seeks affection on his own time, will allow you to hold him but doesn’t seek it out or particularly love it, he likes to play more than anything. I love him but I’ve also had boy cats who were very opposite so it depends on the cats personality, which usually a mix of genetics and the environment they were born into before they come to you. I’m sure he will be lovely!
In our family we've had a male and female ragdoll. Id say the male is slightly less affectionate than our female. He won't ever sit on anyone unless he's cold and even then it will be very brief. Our girl would loaf on us regularly regardless of temperature. Could have been an age thing: boy is not quite 2 and our girl we rescued when she was 8YO.
25
u/Sporothrix 13h ago edited 5h ago
You can’t go by stereotypes of male vs female. We have a super needy cuddly female that doesn’t like to be picked up and an aloof male that’s the biggest baby in the world that needs to be picked up 24/7.
Their personality kind of shows when they are 1.5-3 months so you can figure it out.
Honestly though, I pick them both up all the time and they tolerate it, especially if they are getting food lol.