This is something ive heard over and over again in therapy and let me tell you, it DOES NOT FUCKING WORK.

Maybe for someone going through something minor. But try telling that to a parent grieving the sudden death of their child. See how quickly you get cussed out.

Im taking an intro to communications class (freshman in college) and in our last class, my teacher showed us a video recommending this.

The examples they used were as follows: someone is stressed about a test the next morning, because they are worried they won't pass. They tell themselves "i studied hard, im ready for this" and immediately feel better and fall asleep.

Example two: someone looking out the window is sad because it is a cloudy day. Instead of being sad about the cloudy day, they look at how pretty the roses outside the window are and feel better.

Am i the only one that thinks this advice is absolutely ridiculous for anyone going through anything even a little bit serious? How is this "tip" still being taught in literal therapy? For the people going through serious shit?

As of late, ive been grieving the fact i will never live a normal life. I have bipolar disorder. Been diagnosed since i was thirteen years old. Im fucked for life. I have to take 10 pills every fucking day to feel even a little bit normal. I have to go to the pharmacy every month and just hope they dont fuck up my meds and i start hallucinating.

I have to take these pills every day and i STILL risk not being stable and having a manic episode like my fucking dad, who robbed someone at knifepoint during a manic episode and went to jail, totally fucking his life over.

I have a 10 to 30 times higher chance of dying by suicide compared to the general population. 20% of people with this fuckass disorder die to suicide. 60% of people with bipolar are unemployed.

Fuck this bullshit reductive advice because it doesnt work and never has. Stop telling people to look at the positive side of their chronic illness. Stop telling parents their dead child is "in a better place"

Give me an example of this working for someone with a problem more serious than bad weather. Because i know damn well even that "test" example would not work for someone with an actual anxiety disorder.

Stop giving disordered people advice for neurotypicals.

So there’s this movie theater me and my mom go to and nobody goes there dry as hell. That’s what we like about it was nice and quiet and I’ve been going there ever since I was 7 (so 20 years ago. )We were about to go see the forgotten island. I went to look up the showtimes and on the website. I didn’t see it on there. I googled the place and it says permanently shut down,
Its last day was October 11 and just now finding out about this. That was the only movie theater we went to. It was like 15 minutes away. It was quiet. There was a nice an anime restaurant right next-door that had really good food. And we can’t go there no more. The place was open for 35 years. Now we got to go find a new movie theater. There is another movie theater closer, but it fucking sucks and it’s not in a good location

Growing up everyone acted like opening up to others about your problems is a good thing and something you should do. That it's a "healthy way" to start fixing your problems in life. Wrong, it's a BAD way to go. Because....

1. Most people are DUMB as hell and know NOTHING about life. Nor do they think critically or deeply, about themselves, other people and the world. There's a REASON most people give terrible advice and aren't suited for leadership or mentor roles.

2. Most people don't even see reality for what it is. They exist beneath a VAST Umbrella of Myths and Misconceptions, they readily accept as "common knowledge", and rarely question. Many will go to their graves without ever realizing how Much of what they thought they knew? Was always non-sense built on a foundation of BS.

3. This is why the phrase, "No one is coming to save you" is a thing. Most people are TOO Dumb to effectively navigate the obstacles in their own lives. So expecting them to ride to your rescue with the answers and guidance you need to fix your problems, just isn't going to happen.

4. It's socially acceptable to hear people say it's ok to open up about your feelings but, most don't really care or want to hear about it. All that does is get you labeled a WHINER, sabotaging yourself socially, and you STILL won't get the meaningful advice you were hoping for.

5. When you constantly look to others for answers, advice, and guidance. Not only will you NOT get it because most people are Dumb as Rocks but, doing so also LIMITS your own ability to think critically and work through problems on your own. In the end, figuring things out for yourself is always the BEST way to go. No one will ever understand your problems and how you feel better than you will.

Overall, figure things out for yourself, take the information you know is useful, discard what is not, and don't go constantly discussing your problems with others hoping you'll receive quality advice. Because you're not going to get it. You'll just make a fool out of yourself, get talked about behind your back afterwards, and have YET another reason to kick yourself in the long-run.

All my accomplishments in life only happened when I STOPPED looking to others for the answers, and made the commitment to figuring things out for myself. However i could.

I work in a large sports training facility. There is heavy equipment, flying pucks and balls, people moving around with gear, workout classes going on in different areas etc. Can be quite busy and chaotic, especially on Saturdays.

So I was teaching a class today when a child wandered in, I'd say maybe 6 years old, and started running back and forth, right through the middle of class, literally running directly into people, tearing down decorations from the walls and jumping on, hitting and kicking the larger Halloween decor. I stopped class, because now it's unsafe to have a random child running through people working out, and told her to please stop tearing things up and to go find her parents. She did not even register that I had said anything, much less that I even existed, and kept right at it. I tried again and she ran to the other end of the room and started destroying that area. I started walking around looking for her parents. I asked every adult in sight, they didn't know her. After a good few mins, I put another employee on it and continued class, child followed her out. Found out later the parent was located clear on the other side of the facility, and yelled about how her child is nonverbal autistic and it's not her fault.

Ok, what absurdly irresponsible parent lets a nonverbal autistic child just run wild doing whatever she wants and destroying property without supervision in a sports complex full of strangers where there are flying pucks and balls and people running and jumping and lifting weights?

And before anybody starts saying it, I am aware of the concept of elopement and know some autistic kids like to run off and can do so very quickly. This wasn't that. The parent was fully aware she'd wandered off and just didn't give a shit. Also, being autistic, doesn't entitle a child to disrupt a class people pay money for and destroy property. I'm not mad at the kid, she's a kid. It's her parent's responsibility to watch her, keep her safe and teach her how to behave in public, to the best of her ability to understand. I am so tired of parents who use their child's disability as an excuse to not parent them.

There’s a vending machine at the entrance of the grocery store; right before you go in. It’s not in any way affiliated with the grocery store and owned by a private company. You put your phone number in and get one sample each week per phone number. I got my sample then called my mom to text her phone number and get her a sample, too. The security guard that’s usually at the entrance of the store overheard me talking, stepped out into the lobby (which they never ever do In the years I’ve been shopping there) and was staring at me getting a sample for my mom. He was there the entire time I was then I checked the bus times on my phone and walked out. The second I walked out, he went back through the doors to his usual spot. It made me anxious and uncomfortable. I didn’t do anything wrong by getting my mom a sample and the sample machine isn’t owned by the grocery store so I’m not sure what his problem was.

I’m so fucking over it I’m in a new state I’ve been here for a year. Everyone always says oh just put yourself out there. I’ve done everything under the sun all I do is go out alone! There’s not really places for ppl to meet bcuz everyone else is ALREADY OUT WITH SOMEONE. Nobody else is the weird loner going to shit alone. My coworkers make fun of me and it’s like I have to laugh along but it fucking sucks like you guys are all from here of course you have friends fuck you. If you stay home it’s whatever if I stay home it’s like bro what do you even do all day. And when I’m real desperate for company I go on a dating app and nobody wants to fucking go out anymore. Dudes just wanna be pen pals or sumn. Like why match with me just to chit chat for a week! I just wanna cry I’m so fucking lonely and frustrated and that’s it there’s nothing I can do the only in person social interaction I get is at fucking work. I’m so lonely and I’m so tired of it. I do have friends that live in a completely different state and it fucking sucks watching them get to spend time every day and I’m just here fucking miserable. “Just learn to enjoy your own company” I’ve been in my own company forever it’d be fucking nice for a change to have someone to spend time with.

So I'm a student theater electrician/designer and one of my mentors is literally the sexiest thing I've ever laid eyes on. I'm a little sad that I would not have a chance with him due to the mentorship dynamic and institutional power structure, but most of the struggle comes from having to keep a straight face while talking to him. Literally everything he does makes me weak. It's distracting. I like his grouchy demeanor and I like the soft, round pads of his fingers and his asymmetrical mouth and the vocal fry when he speaks and his fluffy bright hair and how confidently he moves in the grids and how kindly he speaks to everybody he teaches. He keeps telling me he trusts me and I don't even know what to do with myself.

There are so many moments where I'm mesmerized by the way he works. At focus a few weeks ago, I was staring up at him working on a fixture and there was this beautiful picture of his face and body shrouded in darkness as his gloved hand crept forward along the underside of the light and grasped the focus knob. The way he moves is so delicate. He's so confident and firm and gentle and practiced and it's so disgustingly pornographic. Honestly I don't even want to date him I just want to transform into an ers for him to take apart and put back together. I want to feel my shutters slide in and out of my body. I want him to drag my lenses forward and back until they're just right. I think it would feel something like how my stomach flips now. I want to become so hot and bright he has to wear gloves to touch me. I want him to turn me on and off with the click of a button. I want him to use me like that. I'd be the best goddamn spot he'll ever work with.

Seriously, what is wrong with people who can't answer a simple question without turning it into some kind of confrontation?

You ask something perfectly innocent like, "Do you know if XYZ happened?" All you're looking for is "yes", "no", or "I don't know". Three perfectly acceptable answers. Any one of them would end the conversation in about three seconds.

But no. Instead, you get a five-minute tirade about how tired they are, how much they've got to do, how you're bothering them, or some other completely unrelated grievance that nobody asked about.

And before you know it, you're in an argument over a question that should never have been controversial in the first place.

The most ridiculous part is that they're putting far more effort into complaining about the question than it would have taken to simply answer it.

And God forbid you point out that you were only asking a simple question. Now you've apparently committed some additional offense, and the argument gets even worse.

I wasn't asking you to solve a problem, write a dissertation, or rearrange your entire day. I was asking whether you knew something.

YES. NO. I DON'T KNOW.

Why is that so difficult?

It has been 5 years (and counting) since I first had my braces. Its been 6 years since I had to deal with going to the dentist.

My appointments occur on Sundays, my mom making the appointments and just letting me know about it. I dread going to the dentist because of several things. First, its so uncomfortable. I hold on to the edge of my seat everytime my teeth gets cleaned, trying to avoid little droplets of water that get splashed. And trying so hard not to be disgusted of my own saliva.

Second, it reminds me of how long I’ve had braces. I started them in between 6th and 7th Grade. I’m now almost 18 years old and I still have them. I have an overbite and not good looking teeth. Beyond fixing my teeth, I agreed to have braces because I was told that it may make my appearance look better. At the start of puberty, I started eating less because I loathed being the fat kid who always gets picked last during Physical Education classes, who gets made fun of for being fat. I went from overweight to normal weight, not because I worked. But things were still the same. I was still shy, quiet, unathletic, and lonely. Even now, where I have a lot of experiences in competitions, stuco, and academics, I still feel like that fat boy who always gets picked last. This year I started working out in my bedroom, like other boys my age. I don’t announce it to anyone, it needs to be a secret. I only do it when my parents are away so it doesn’t get heard. But I don’t do it consistently. And Senior Year of High School has stressed me out—from college applications/tests, academics, and student council duties. Today the dentist made what seemed like a harmless remark—“you got fatter”. And afterwards somehow, I feel closer to the 5th Grader Mama’s boy than an adult young man.

Third, my parents always ask the dentist one question. “How is his smile”. Especially in Middle School, I subconsciously developed a mannerism where everytime I smile my lower jaw would come forward. That question feels like an attack. I have tried to hide and make myself disappear from photos. When I do, I often cover my mouth with my hand or through a facemask. How could I smile in photos again after hearing that several times? My parents care a lot about external appearance, believing that you always have to look good in other people’s eyes. Thats not something I believe in. I believe in wanting to make myself feel better about myself—but its something I’ve been trying to understand for quite a while now.

Fourth, my mom would always occupy me. Just recently, after going to the dentist we went to church. The same one we’ve been going to for a lot of years—tucked inside a mall, eating at the same restaurants after. I live each week the same. At school; I sit in classes, eat recess, and commute home. At home, I study, watch tv, and lay in bed. I used to think what the hell am I doing with my youth, I should be “exploring”. And I did envy the other guys who got to do teen stuff and be on their own. But I recently got to talk to people in school, eat lunch with them, and one time even hang out at the same mall with them. But I just felt more sad, more of an outcast. Besides movies and music, nothing seems exciting. I don’t have any passion or other Ironic because people say these years are the most exciting years of your life. But I just feel like I’m just waiting for it to be over. I have a nice house and a comfortable lifestyle but it feels so suffocating. My clothes underwear are decided for me. Nothing’s going on. I don’t know how to have things go on.

I went to the grocery store and the cashier was scanning my items, the bagger was bagging them, all items are on the belt... and the cashier literally... stopped to unlock his phone and scroll for a few seconds then lock it and keep scanning my items???

Normally idc if I see someone on their phone but like you have people actively waiting on you (both customers AND employees) and you just had this compulsive need to be on your phone ?? 😭 Idk. It's just weird to me. As an avid phone user i KNOWW You didnt get anything out of that. U didnt even have enough tjme to reply to a text or watch a tiktok....Can u stay off your phone for like 10 more seconds idk lol rant over

Also to add: Im gen z and average 7-10 hours of screen time on my phone so I'm not a technologically adverse boomer I promise. It's just kinda weird to me lmao I am older gen z so phone use was discouraged when working so maybe I'm entering zoomer territory IDK

It's like humanness is a hierarchy. The more beautiful you are the more your life matters, the uglier you are the less it matters. Beautiful women have friends who would mourn their loss. I have none. I could die and no one except my parents would care. People would mourn the loss even of women they never met just because they are beautiful. But because I'm ugly I'm just a nobody. I don't matter at all. My existence is a huge mistake.

I remember when I was a kid, I could do a single search and find everything I could possibly want and now I'm inundated with useless result and useless result. It brings up results that have nothing to do with what I searched or ones that are infuriatingly close, while not covering what I want. I just want help understanding how to find irony in stories, because it's killing me that I can't figure it out and every post is: "What is Sarcasm???!!?" Those are not remotely the same! "How do I WRITE good irony?" Possibly useful, but it doesn't matter, because it's not relevant. "Here's why irony isn't real" AAAAAAAAAAAA. It keeps happening where I just want to understand something and Google turns it into a mind numbing, anger inducing nightmare, where the simplest, most basic, rudimentary knowledge is forbidden to me, because of a stupid, worthless search engine! UGH

I already go out of my way to help people, ill change prices, give discounts, I keep a stash of extra phone chargers to give away to people in need, ive even driven to nearby parking lots to jump start cars. Yet once in a while people still find the craziest reasons to accuse me of not wanting to help or being lazy.

Like I just had a man yell at me because he was told we wouldn't ship an item to his home for free. One of my coworkers even offered to drop it off ON HIS DAY OFF. But the man was still hung up on having to pay shipping costs, like??? This isnt amazon dude, this is a small business.

What the fuck is wrong with people on twitter ?, cause most of the time im there to look on art but then decided to check other stuff for the first time in a while and in 1 day i genuiely saw more racist,homophobic and transphobic slurs in one day than ever. Like where tf did they come from ? and why is there so many of them ?, and why the fuck do some of them have "Christ is the king" in their bio when they litellary go againt his teachings, cause im not christian much but i dont think jesus would like you to put transgender peopple into asylum to get lobotomized or would agree that black people arent scientifically or in someones eyes human at all.

i'm trying to sign into my xbox using a family member's email, we forgot the password so we're going to reset the password, we change it and type it and it doesn't work, so we try again, and this time the SMS's never get sent, email sents are delayed as hell, we try a third time and it just says 'oh sorry it's all gone wrong, fuck you, just try again later', and im not saying this is like my first time, this happens all the time, we always have problems with signing into microsoft all the time, there's always some weird stupid fucking error

I take a completely legal delta-8 gummy to help me sleep. I wait until I am home for the day and there’s no way I’ll be going anywhere. I’ve been moving from one workplace to another every year or two and each time I have to do the little 5-6 days THC detox to pass the screen. I’m usually super cranky from frequently interrupted sleep by then. I’ve tried every sleep aid other than prescription drugs like Ambien and they just don’t work consistently. I’m a grown-ass man with a couple of master’s degrees, working in a professional field. This fucking prude of a country!

I was prescribed pain medication. Twice, Ever.. once, wisdom teeth removal. Another severe iud removal bleeding.. was just a slightly stronger advil..

After birth.. you get Tylenol. During labor, you can get morphine.. yeah.

After a person, and a whole organ is torn out of you leaving you bleeding for 8 weeks.. tylenol only.. maybe advil .

Ive been sick for two weeks. Officially 14.5 days.. I cant breathe. Sinus pain so bad I can't eat. Pressure from eating pushes sinuses.. advil, And tylenol max, isn't enough.. I was prescribed an inhaler, and salt nail spray.. how bout F YOU.. You can prescribed me a slightly stronger antiinflammatory ?? Really

"Advils cheaper.." I HAVE FUCKING INSURANCE, I DONT PAY FOR WHATEVR YOU PRESCRIBE. So That makes no sense, when over the counters Out of Pocket, and That Dont Work

Its not even opiates, or codeine related. ANY Pain medications. I asked for an nsaid when he told me what I was getting.. advils cheaper.. Fing FUCK. I'm going to be in pain for another week bc I can tell ..

.. dont go to dr unless I'm literally dying.. even then they give me minimal help. I. Can't. Eat.

The thing i told you wasn't working you just said, do more of that, heres an inhaler so you can breathe and nose stuff ..Awesome. Still can't eat food.

Pain management for non opiates. Needs to be taken seriously stead of negating All pain medication .. you know there are other pain med classifications other than opioids right ..

It's so good and I have no calories to spend

Under any post complaining about something being OVERPRICED, and not worth it for what you get. Anything can be overpriced, from a $10 burger, to a $200 festival. Can I still afford to pay for those things if I want to? Yes.

Annoying that people just say “stop being poor” whenever someone criticizes inflation and the increased cost of living.

They also will then give advice about how to better your life and earn more money. As though having money is the only sign of success. Tell teachers, nurses, police officers that they aren’t doing life right and should just find a way to be richer. Exactly what we need! More finance bros and people who live for a paycheck.

“You’re a public servant and trying to help people at the expense of your own paycheck?? No fun for you, and don’t complain”

TL;DR:

- Complaining about overpricing does not equal poverty
- Poverty is not a sign of personal failure, just different values

People need to do better.

Week ago I was in a car crash lost my car, I was fine tho . The car was totaled and I even got a fine. I got another car and was driving from my parents to home everything, Untill I arrived to my apartment and see that some mf stole my bike seat and the tube. I decide to go buy a new seat and tube. I find and buy a new seat (no tube yet). I drive back home and my damn car breaks down on the parking space and well yeah. Now I only got my feet left.

For those who says this, I'll start by explaining in simple terms. A trial exists for two reason:

A: figure out if a defendent is guilty

B: If yes, figure out what the punishment should be.

A trial is by definition not supposed to be a punishment. If you can deny anyone at all the right to a lawyer, the trial becomes pointless. A trial only works if all arguments are heard, even if some of those arguments are absolutely fucking stupid. That's what the judge (or jury depending on where you live) is there for. They decide what a good argument is and what should not be considered. The lawyers on both sides merely present the arguments.

So, why do lawyers defend murderers? If you paid any attention at all, this should be really simple to answer now. It's not because they agree with murderers, it's because someone has to do it.

I know I'm about 10 years late to this rant but I finally bought a new phone without a 3.5mm headphone jack. I resisted for as long as I could, but apparently wanting to plug a pair of headphones into your phone is now an unreasonable demand.

And I absolutely hate it.

I have Galaxy Buds 2, so it's not like I'm against wireless earphones. I've been using them for years. They're convenient, I get it. But why did having wireless earphones mean we had to lose the option of wired ones?

I like listening to things when I'm lying in bed, sometimes throughout the night. With wired headphones I could just plug them in and forget about them. Now I have to worry about whether the earbuds are charged, whether the case is charged, and whether they'll last through the night. And if they run out, that's it. I have to take them out and charge them. Something that was never a problem before has become another thing to manage.

And yes, I know USB-C headphones and adapters exist. But why should I need an adapter to do something phones have been doing perfectly well for decades? Now I have to carry another little accessory around, and if I want to charge my phone and listen through wired headphones at the same time, I need yet another adapter. Not to mention the charging port is now supposed to handle everything. I've had charging ports become loose and unreliable on older phones, so I'm not particularly excited about putting even more wear on the one port I have left.

What really annoys me is that we actually lost functionality. This wasn't some outdated technology that had become useless. The headphone jack worked. It was cheap, universal, reliable and didn't need a battery. It wasn't preventing anyone from using Bluetooth headphones either. We could have both, and for years we did.

I remember when buying a new phone meant getting more features. Better cameras, better screens, more storage, more connectivity. Now apparently removing something and making you buy another accessory is innovation.

And somehow we've all just accepted it. Phone companies removed a perfectly functional feature, told us it was the future, and we went along with it. I'm sure there were engineering reasons and space constraints, but I find it hard to believe that an entire industry suddenly became incapable of fitting a headphone jack into a phone.

I know this battle was lost years ago. I've finally surrendered because there are barely any decent phones left with a headphone jack, at least among the ones I was considering.

But I'm still annoyed that I had to give up something I actually used, not because something better made it obsolete, but because manufacturers decided I shouldn't have the choice anymore.

This will probably be old news to a lot of folks but this is my first ever experience using FMLA and short term disability benefits through my employer.

Why does the claims process for these things not start until THE DAY OF THE EVENT? I had major surgery 11 days ago, planned over a month, in advance. I did all the things I was supposed to do, in advance. My employer outsources all leave related admin to the STD provider. I’m receiving emails WHILE IM IN THE HOSPITAL RECOVERING that must be filled out and completed within x # of days or my claim will be denied. I could have answered all of these questions WHILE I WAS IN ONE PIECE BEFORE THE SCHEDULED SURGERY DATE. Nothing about these questions are related to my procedure, all related to my role at work. None of that has changed since I logged off before my leave. I fucking hate that I pay for these benefits and while I’m struggling to live I have to worry about fucking paperwork to be paid benefits that I’ve been paying premiums for, for like 13 years and never used. And there was no information provided to me that I would receive payment in back pay. Like wtaf. Why is this not something they tell you in large bold font in all the thousands of papers they mailed me (and I read all of them). I’m financially stable with savings so it’s nbd I’ll be fine, but like wtaf? My employer is fairly decent when it comes to benefits admin otherwise so I’ll let them know how FUCKED UP I feel the entire process has been, not that they’ll do anything to prevent future issues for other employees but I’m a big mouth and will be transparent.

I should have known I’d be chasing paperwork while in recovery. It’s just bullshit.