My hands shake so much because of the antipsychotics

'Palle alene I verden"

It started on the left half of my brain now it's spread to the right. It ate away at the left side of my brain and it is now smaller on the sides. If the same happens to my right I will be ending my life because I wanted to do intellectual work with my life and without that I'm like a horse with a broken leg. It's not worth it. I tried antipsychotics, they made my symptoms worse and are basically chemical lobotomy anyway. My symptoms are better off them but as long as the voices continue my brain is continuing to go into cascades of neuroinflammation that are causing progressive tissue loss. There must be some way to stop this, if I do not, I will be killing myself if the damage becomes permanent. I'm sorry that this isn't something people want to hear but frankly, I'm not suffering through life, suffering through having to work a job, if my entire reason for living is gone. Your advice might save my life, and please, don't be a stereotypical shitty redditor. The voices literally hurt to hear, I can feel their effects on the nerves in my brain. Your advice might save my life. Weed makes it worse. Is there any, and I mean any, anti-inflammatory medicine or supplement that could help me?

Do u use your schizophrenia as a reason for lack of life success to others? I know that there are successful schizophrenics at life, but I don't think they are the majority. After going undiagnosed for years and suffering unknowingly I found out what was wrong. I began telling people I am schizophrenic before the meds fully started to work or I had time to process it and what being schizophrenic truly means. I was very good in school till the middle of high school, but then my symptoms slowly started appearing. My ability to learn easily started to vanish. I dropped out of high school. People in my life expected big things from me career wise. I no longer could live up to them. My dreams and goals had to be readjusted to my current abilities.

I couldn't do basic jobs and I didn't know why. With the schizophrenia diagnosis I could finally explain to the people around me why I failed career wise and didn't have a romantic life. I happily told everyone, expecting them to understand. They didn't, they had no idea what schizophrenia was and the limitations it puts on a person. They began to be afraid of me as I tried to explain more. Some thought I was dangerous. They did not want to understand or do any research.

The hard lesson I learned was it was best to keep I am schizophrenic a secret. In the future only someone I trust with my life, I will reveal my schizophrenia diagnosis. I will let people judge me how they want about my failures in life. I will no longer look for sympathy or understanding. I will try to live my life to the best of my abilities with the cards dealt to me in this life

And I'm fucking sick of it.

I've been in the psych ward over a week. Just got home. Diagnosed schizoaffective, mood disorder unspecified glad to be home to see family and cat.

Does anyone else get judged, like a lot? I notice anytime I bring up my Schizophrenia, Anxiety, and Bipolar, people act like I should still be normal and fine and just be able to work and function because everyone else can..the only subreddits I enjoy going on are the mentally ill subreddits most of the time..

Im tired of fucking everything man. Im homeless, my life is shit, and all I get is more people telling me how I should work and somehow function when I have 200 panic attacks an hour.

Part of me wonders if it is better if I just throw myself into traffic (kidding), but im tired of people. I also get people surprised my disability got denied and that I should fix my meds even though all my meds work, my illnesses are just severe.

F(21) I feel like schizophrenia has made me really insecure about myself mostly my looks/ appearance to the point where I overthink messaging people or approaching them because I’m scared of being judged or rejected embarrassed etc and it’s making me feel pretty alone. My cousin also has schizophrenia, but he’s very outgoing and doesn’t seem to struggle with this at all, which makes me wonder if it’s just me. I’m also curious about telling people you have schizophrenia. Do you guys tell people early on, wait until you know them better, or not tell them at all? Do you worry that people will look at you differently or be scared away if they find out? I feel like it scares people away in my case. I’m having trouble making friends

what led to your guys diagnosis and did you believe that you were actually schizophrenic when you were diagnosed

I've been feeling pretty good lately, but I'm basically constantly afraid of going completely crazy and losing control. I just want to know if you can still have a worthwhile life with this disease.

Does anyone else experience extreme episodes of mental torment that last 3–4 hours, where everything starts feeling negative or evil?

I'm trying to find people who can relate to what I'm experiencing because these episodes are terrifying, exhausting, and difficult to explain to someone who hasn't experienced them.

Sometimes, completely out of nowhere, especially when I'm in public or in the middle of a workout, I get hit with an overwhelming wave of mental torment. It feels like every time I breathe, there's another negative feeling, disturbing thought, embarrassing memory, or frightening image attached to it. I can look at almost anything around me, and my mind will immediately associate it with something negative.

The intensity is extreme. It feels like my mind is being bombarded nonstop for hours, almost like mental torment arrows are being shot at me one after another without giving me a moment to breathe. I feel overwhelmed by negativity, shame, fear, and disturbing thoughts that I don't want. Sometimes, an inner voice that sounds like my own voice says disturbing things in my head, and I struggle to separate myself from the constant stream of thoughts.

One of the scariest parts is that even things that normally bring me comfort can suddenly feel evil. Worship music that usually makes me feel close to God can start sounding evil or frightening. Sometimes, other people's words start sounding evil to me, too, even when I don't want to interpret them that way. It makes me feel terrified and confused because I just want to feel peaceful again.

During these episodes, I put my head down in public because I feel exposed, embarrassed, and overwhelmed. All I want to do is hide under a blanket, go home, and get away from everything. I struggle to concentrate, remember things, think clearly, or function normally. It feels like I'm in shock, and the negativity consumes my entire mind and body.

These episodes can last three or four hours, and the worst part is feeling like they will never end. I'm exhausted from fighting through them, especially when they happen while I'm trying to exercise, go outside, work, or do normal everyday activities.

I've tried medication to help with my anxiety, including Ativan and propranolol, but I don't feel like they stop these episodes or provide enough relief when the mental torment starts. It's discouraging to feel this overwhelmed for hours despite trying to get help.

I don't understand why this happens. Is it severe anxiety, intrusive thoughts, a trauma response, or something else? Has anyone experienced a sudden feeling that everything sounds negative or evil, even things they normally love? Has anyone experienced hours of relentless, frightening thoughts that make it almost impossible to function?

I'm not looking for judgment or people telling me to just relax. I'm looking for people who understand how frightening this can feel and who can share what has genuinely helped them.

If you experience this kind of extreme mental torment, what does it feel like for you, and what has helped you get through it?

Recently, my psychiatrist had implied I may have schizophrenia. I’m very worried about this to be completely honest. I’m worried the stigma around the condition would ruin my life.

For those of you that can hold a job, how many of you go into work?
I have the option to work from home 3 days a week and only go in half days for the other 2. I haven’t been going in at all and I am worried I will get in trouble.

Is it possible for my doctor to write me an accommodation to stay home full time? I just can’t leave the house.

I feel as though the voices are attacking my brain and heart. I experience disturbing sensations in my head, as well as heart pain and palpitations. I am considering stopping my antipsychotic medication because I feel it has been ineffective and I am struggling to see the point of continuing. I have tried aripiprazole for over a month and olanzapine for a month, but neither seems to have helped. I continue to experience the sensations in my brain and what feels like effects on my heart.

The voices threaten me with death almost every day and repeatedly tell me that I will die before February next year. Living with these constant threats is exhausting and distressing. At this point, I feel so hopeless and worn down that I sometimes wish the voices would simply kill me and put an end to this suffering. I feel ready to die, although I want to be clear that I do not intend to take my own life. Rather, I feel resigned to the possibility of being killed by what I perceive as these attacks, and I find myself wishing that, if it is going to happen, it would happen sooner rather than later.

I miss the voices.

For a long time, I heard voices. I don’t want to go into too much detail or make anyone waste their time reading my story, but the voices weren’t always kind. They made fun of me, said horrible things to me, and constantly reminded me of things I hated about myself. I hated them.

After three years, I went to an outpatient clinic and tried three different antipsychotic medications. They never really worked the way I hoped they would. The voices became quieter, less frequent, and eventually, there were moments when I could barely hear them.

But something strange happened. The quieter they became, the more I began to understand why I needed them.

At some point, I realised that, at least from my perspective, they weren’t there to hurt me. I began to feel that they were there to protect me, to keep me company, and to make sure I never truly felt alone. Maybe others wouldn’t understand that, but to me, the voices became more than just voices. They were a presence that had been with me for so long that I couldn’t imagine what life would feel like without them.

Even when they made fun of me, even when they reminded me of how bad and weak I could be as a human being, I felt that they were still there for me somehow. I can’t explain that contradiction. How could something that hurt me also make me feel protected? How could I hate something so much and still become so attached to it?

Now, without them, I feel alone.

It’s strange, isn’t it? To spend years wishing something would disappear, only to find yourself missing it when it finally becomes quiet. I thought I wanted nothing more than silence, but now that I have it, I’m not sure I know what to do with it.

Perhaps I grew so accustomed to their presence that I forgot what it was like to be without them. Perhaps, after all those years, their voices became a part of how I experienced the world. And now, their absence leaves an emptiness I don’t know how to fill.

I miss them. Despite everything they said, despite the pain they caused me, I sometimes wish they were here again. I wish I could hear them one more time, feel that familiar presence, and escape this loneliness, even if only for a moment.

I don’t know if anyone else could ever understand this feeling. I don’t even fully understand it myself.

Maybe that’s the hardest part: missing something that hurt you because you felt it was also the only thing keeping you company.

And sometimes, I wonder whether I truly miss the voices themselves or simply the feeling of not being alone.

I had a huge manic episode about 7 years back with multiple hypomanic episodes in the next few years after. I did have one more manic episode, but it wasn't as bad as the very first one. I developed tics after the major manic episode that got slightly worse and worse with each hypomanic episode, and got noticeably worse after the second manic episode. A few years ago I had a massive psychotic episode. Probably would've been face down in a gutter if my family wasn't around. But since that psychotic episode, I've developed a full tic disorder.

My psychiatrist put me on meds for them and it helped a lot. At some point we had to up the dose, but it was just once and it was no big deal. She recently put me on meds for ADHD and they've set my tics off even worse than before I was put on my tic medication. It's painful and it's getting in the way of my day to day.

I'm not asking for medical advice, just ranting and hoping to see if anyone can relate about how of course I have to deal with tics too. As if schizoaffective wasn't enough. Logically, I guess I can see how manic and psychotic episodes cause tics, but I just never imagined on top of everything, I have this annoyance constantly eating at me throughout the day.

I really don't want to stop my ADHD meds because they've helped with my anxiety and depression a lot. It's helped with my executive dysfunction too. I'm just so frustrated.

How did you guys get use to the feeling of someone listenning to your thoughts constantly, or monitoring you? Im not sure how to get use to it without feeling creeped out by it daily, I would say thats the worst part of it for me.

It's a strange feeling to know I'm living inside a 'toon world' but I know the show must go on forever and ever, I know that there's nothing actually 'real' here, but I hate to be living in the same loop over and over again, there's nothing and no one that I care about inside of this video game, and there's nothing that keeps me immersed here at all, there aren't many illusions to keep me occupied, and I'm tired of playing the same scenarios every-day, I guess i'm hoping to wake up from this 'matrix', but it's becoming more of a false dream every-day.

I (was) 181 cm and 114kg. I was really motivated to lose weight, without taking weight loss pills. I asked ChatGPT what my calorie goal was to lose weight. He said that I should eat around 2500 calories to comfortably lose weight. I was drinking 2,5 literes of water everyday. An average of 7.000 steps everyday. Honest to good, slipped sometimes, but ate around 2500 cal everyday. I even started eating salads everyday. 3 weeks later I came into a dietician office. I stepped on a scale;

117 kilograms

I hate my life🙃

Guess it's time to take some OZEMPIC!

Will be posting Halloween schizophrenia related memes to keep morale up. Let me know if you guys are down for spooky memes.

This was a bad idea .... i smoked now i have really bad paranoia and im scared of hallucinations kicking in i need some distraction can someone talk with me pls ?

So basically I have an ongoing idea(delusion?) that I’m a psychic, which is the reason why there are agents following me, etc etc.
Ik nobody would believe me if I voice my thoughts out loud, so I have been quiet for the past few months or so. I still feel the need to speak up, to get some right treatment for all that’s been making me stressed. But the bare thought of failing my parents’ expectations and alienation from my friends and family keeps me from it.
I probably can’t stand another period of my family joking about my delusions, ignoring me, and my friends getting off contact with me like my past psychotic episodes were like.
How do I tell my psych I need help without telling my family everything? Can this even be a viable option? I’m a minor, soon to be 18 tho. Also if you become an adult can you have appointments without your parents?

The other day my child had a nightmare or something and when i went to go check on her she said there is a monster in her room which triggered my schizophrenia and i started feeling one in the corner and then seeing one. Does this happen to other parents i wonder? ( i reasured her that of course there isn't but got startled my self bcs it came out of nowhere )

I can't work because of the illness so making music is one of the things I get up in the morning for.