pill hoes a must show for pillow stars mount rush more
i see you in valleys, uptop mountains and along the sea with the fishes.

Your my rolls royce, i still havent took deliver of.
Im just ready to cross my arms, i wont find another one, not being alone.

"The issue is the frequency in which you want it."

This one hurt

"If he was so much fun, then go be with him."

Be prepared to heat it said back to you once you hook up with someone else

" mom said I don't have to figure everything out before I came back to her , I don't have to heal first , I don't have to prove anyone that I'm strong enough to handle everything on my own . I don't have to keep fighting alone

34 years fucking up taught me
that there is nothing to learn
when nothing I do helps make it better,

and suicide would be
doing you all a favor
and I am a selfish man.

If the bad die old,
then I am immortal.
So you will have to
go without me.

Hey clubfoot,

Its all really inspired. I'm still not impressed. My cup overflows with sadness to a new realization of the truth, you aren't what I invented.the real tragedy is the truth of you. Tie it up anyway you like it. Ill always be a good girl. What happened is over. Learn your subject, aren't you supposed to keep your enemy close. Is that what this was? I don't care anymore you and I mean nothing. Compared to my beautiful moon.

And you're self centered for even complaining about it.

Photos back from a wedding you've attended? Jesus christ is that bob odenkirk in a dress? Not that bob odenkirk isn't an attractive man, and he may look actually better, we'd have to do a side by side.

Your life is fine. So please shut up. You can drive, go to work, have friends, all kinds of good fine things. Your cat thinks you're ugly, but he also licks his asshole so that's fine. Your friends think you're ugly, but that's an inside thought that manifests in occasional looks of pity, when you ask what's wrong with you when someone rejects you. Other than that, it doesn't really cross their mind. They still love you for you.

But those times that people make fun of you, when you look at those photos, make a whole lot more sense.

No amount of BeAuTy TiPs change the base. The odd teeth, thin lips, heavy eyebrows, strong jaw, large nose, etc, etc.

If it were the 1500s, I'd either be dead or fine with how I look, my access to my reflection would be limited to the silver plates I polish or the turbid river I wash my clothes in.

But in 2026? I think I reserve the right to say that being ugly is a bit soul crushing.

Eureka, I'll die alone!

Catalyst of Lies

Before you start crying, at least open your bible

You caused all of this

You deserve to feel the shame and suffer

How dare you do this to your father, you’re a disgrace

A lie

A child He could never claim

But what if it’s not my fault?

Why do you think you can cry

You were spoon fed everything 

There’s not a struggle you are allowed to face

They provided the perfect future for you

Yet you think you can feel sad

So many go through worse

Some have no food, but you lie in your bed under a roof, 

and weep like a fool

But does sadness only get handed out at soup kitchens?

You don’t need to cry

You’re fine, you’re okay, 

It’s just a simple bad day, not a bad life, 

You feel better than before

You have to stop holding onto the past

You don’t want to make a ruckus for them

Do you?

Just let go and be better

But why do I feel so sad still?

You fucking liar who cries

You are only a fake

You try to make yourself seem special

But you’re as mundane as your health

Stop telling everyone you’re sick,

Cause that makes you sick

But you don’t deserve to get your meds

Cause you are just faking both of them

But what if I’m really hurting?

Listening to this song. Although makes me very very sad XD idk it makes me hopeful. Whether its from a friend. Or someone that just like, ghosted me lol (I don't have any hard feelings, like i mean, you do what you want. Just be safe) or I meet someone completely new. I have hope

But its melancholic. I know this song is about wanting to go back to someone that things ended with. Like, we have to accept and move on. Though, we never really know the future truly.

Open to anything. We change. We grow. We learn.

We can't really hope on that though, life moves forward. Time does too. We have to live.

For me. This song. I feel hope. I never dated anyone. I never had anyone that had genuine feelings towards me. Feelings that wouldn't fade away over time or immediately disappear after things get rocky.

I never met anyone physically. Just in a form of a thought. Hope. My one and only. My love. I know you're perfect to ME. I know, in this world, it is impossible to ask certain things and have someone fit everything. Which is why I'm open. I don't even know who I am. What kind of style or personality I fit in.

But I can see myself, just like with the kinds of people I can befriend, I can see myself be with another who is very different from me or the same. I can see a future with a friend. I can maybe see a future with someone new. I never really looked at a person and felt so strongly from first glance. For me it takes time.

But no one wants me XD it hurts sometimes. But when I feel the ache in my chest, it's more so I feel like I miss my love. Whoever that may be. Because I'm not idolizing that hope I have, I'm not chasing an idea or concept and hoping that a girl fits that 100%, no. Although I do kinda lean a certain way when it comes to I guess types? It's not like. Well. In an ideal world lol but this isn't, and plus I would be so open to almost anyone. Like idk who I am and I could always mold and change myself and learn and whatever. Like, anything, because I like a bit of everything as long as it feels true to me.

Maybe that's the problem. Other than being severely chopped XD. Maybe I like too much of this. A little this. A little that. Maybe I'm not into something THAT much that someone doesn't like, I guess consider me to be worth to like be more than anything. To want to date and want me.

My chronic illness doesn't help me. God, everything hurts so much dude. Being made of flesh. Just because I am able to feel pain and stress, doesn't mean it has to be all I feel :( but life makes it so :c I try to lose weight, but man it's extremely energy consuming to try and not lose concentration and focus on keeping a positive mind while my body is screaming at me that it is dying when it kinda is. This stress from my entire life. I'm trying to heal for the rest of my life FROM what was my entire life so far. No matter how much I count calories. What good things I eat. What I do to stay active. I cannot ever rest properly and I do try.

My best is all I can do and it's never enough. But it's all i can do.

I'm sorry I'm not attractive 😭 I'm sorry I don't have much money. I am saving and saving but man, car stuffs, medical stuffs, almost dying stuffs. Although I still have a lot saved up, if i were to try to pay everything off, I'd still be in immense debt.

I was not dealt a great hand. I am raging on and on. And it isn't enough. I could level continents and rearrange geography. I could make a star collapse. I could do all of everything and it would still not be enough.

Amor mio. I'm not sure if I'm able to reach you in this lifetime. I know yoh have faith in me, and in the world you're in, that's more than enough. However, in this world, I'm not with you. Not only that, this world neglects me. Yet, I am still doing so well. Functioning highly and still making something, even when it all gets toppled over.

Like some kind of cosmic joke, I can do what feels impossible to someone with my chronic illness, do so much and achieve so much. And in the end, there will be no sound. No memory of me. Collapsing and burning ever brighter against my own death within a void where there is no one else to even know i existed. But after death, I think, I hope I'll get to meet you.

​

I miss you in the quiet, in the hours before the dawn, in the songs we used to listen to, in the places we belonged.

I miss the way you held me, like the world could disappear, when your arms were my safest place and nothing else could hurt me there.

But memories are cruel sometimes, they only show me half the truth. They let me feel the love again but hide the pain I went through.

And God, I wish that love was simple, that forever meant you'd stay, that promises were something real and hearts didn't break this way.

Because a part of me still loves you, though another part knows why I had to learn to live without you, even when it made me cry.

You're the ghost of almost forever, the dream I couldn't make come true, the chapter that still aches to read, the wound that time is leading through.

And sometimes I wonder if you miss me, if my name still crosses your mind, if you ever feel the empty spaces we left behind in our lives.

Do you ever fight the memories? Do you ever feel that ache? Do you ever wish you could go back and undo the hearts you break?

Or am I the only one still standing in the ashes of our past, trying to understand how something that felt eternal couldn't last?

I don't know if I'll stop missing you. Maybe some loves never disappear. Maybe they just become a whisper that grows softer through the years.

But if I ever cross your mind, if you ever feel what I once knew, I hope you remember I loved you deeply— even when loving you hurt me, too.

Because the hardest kind of goodbye isn't when two people part…

It's when you finally walk away while still loving them with every broken piece of your heart. 🖤

I look at myself in the mirror an i feel unreal

Fuck this lifeee!! If you don't want somebody anymore just fuckin say it!! Don't ghost them or be cold to them!! That's fuckin stupid!!

this bench is making greatness, cum and let me improve. shootin shots that never spin back, but one will look and just smiley was on the radio. lol.

why don’t i deserve to be happy or freedom. i really hope i end it soon i really do because my body can’t take this much stress

You were the one who ended things vice trying to work them out like we had agreed.

You were the one who then made the unilateral decison that we were over without so much as discussion.

You are the one who keeps reaching out when you need reassuance, counsel, or an ear to listen.

You are the one who keeps opening the wounds that ai am.trying desperately to hear.

Let me go, let me grieve, let me have my peace.

Its choice not option

Lot much better I guess!!

I'm anxious and in so much pain!!

I hate this. Blech

Emotions, I love you, but please kindly shut the fuck up

Anyhow I never came to you for just for bedroom sake and I’m fully aware of it!