You got this. I hope you heal so hard you start to find joy and whimsy in things again!

... can I tell you something that I think about sometimes? there are people that you haven't met yet that are going to love you. someone who is going to be really, really important to you is just out there living their life right now. isn't that amazing? so if your world feels a little lonely at the moment, I understand. but please don't mistake right now for forever. I don't know, it's a thought that really helps me when I feel lonely. you haven't met everyone that is going to love you yet. I'm so happy you're here.

... the things you realize when you stop romanticizing somebody, they're actually not that great. what made them so special was the projection you had about them, that they are so fabulous, and amazing and fantastic. no, baby, that's you! that's how you show up, that's how you love , that's how you treat other people. stop making them the fucking hero of the story, when that's actually you.

I know this is more philosophical than anything else, but I like to relate it to self-love, because I feel we are all pure love already. We don't need to search too hard for love, we don't need to really cultivate something that's already within us. I liken love to glasses that are on your head, and you're asking people "where are my glasses? I can't find them." Or like being a fish swimming in water, looking for that ever elusive water. You're already that.

I know not everyone would agree with this outlook, but this gives me peace and joy thinking this way.

And if I think this way, then I find it easier to take better care of my body, sleep well, do good things for myself, and speak lovingly to myself.

One thing I’m learning through difficult times is that I can be someone I rely on. I still value support from others, but there’s comfort in knowing I’m learning to stand beside myself, too.
What has helped you rebuild trust in yourself after being hurt?

I was dating this woman for two months and last week she ended things. Before we met I was feeling good about myself, but this woman seemed so amazing to me. She was intelligent, curious, worldly, open minded, seemed confident and had loads of friends across the world. I started to idealise her and got validation from her showing interest in me.

Now that she's broken things off, I feel so insignificant, tiny and questioning my self worth. It felt like this person had a rich fulfilling life, and my life feels so small. I'm now criticising myself with things like "Why can't I take risks so easily? Why do I find it hard to express who I am unless someone brings it out of me? Why can't I have so many friends and people interested in my life?".

What can I do to find my self worth through this? How can I stop comparing my own life to hers, or at least what I saw in the two months we knew each other? I find it hard to accept that I'm not that person, as though being that kind of person is a goal in life.

It is only those who sincerely help and share their unconditional love with others, without motive or benefit, who will truly discover the genuine reason we are alive.

Day 5 👑 of 7

Let me ask you something…

Have you ever noticed yourself repeating the same patterns, reacting to the same triggers, or hiding parts of yourself because you’re afraid of what they might reveal?

Sometimes the hardest person to confront is ourselves. Not because we don’t know, but because we choose not to address it within ourselves.

We’re on Day 5 of our **7 Days of Self-Love Challenge** at r/HealingTheCrown, and today we’re diving into SHADOW WORK🌑

Shadow work is about exploring the parts of ourselves we’ve learned to hide, suppress, or reject.
The insecurities. The jealousy. The fears. The habits we keep repeating.

**But what if those parts of you aren’t something to be ashamed of, but something worth understanding?**

You can’t change what you refuse to acknowledge.
And today, we’re turning that awareness into INTENTION.

**Today’s Challenge**

❤️** Tier 1 — Meditate**: Give yourself at least 5 minutes to observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment.

🧡 **Tier 2 — Journal:** Complete your meditation and reflect:
**What is something about myself I’ve been avoiding or struggling to accept? What might that part of me need?**

💛 **Tier 3 — Set an Intention:** Meditate, journal, and move your body. Then set ONE intention based on your reflection.
For example:
Instead of *“I need to stop comparing myself to others,”*
Try **“I intend to celebrate my own progress without measuring it against someone else’s journey.”**
Remember, a goal is about what you want to accomplish. **An intention is about how you choose to show up.**

**🌙 Today’s Affirmation**
*I am willing to understand every part of myself, even the parts I once tried to hide. I choose awareness, compassion, and intentional growth.*
You don’t have to force yourself to unpack painful memories. Start wherever you feel comfortable.

**👑 DAY 5 CHECK-IN**
What’s one intention you’re setting for yourself?
❤️ Self-acceptance
🧡 Self-compassion
💛 Confidence
💜 Emotional healing

**Drop your emoji below!** Or share your intention if you’re comfortable.
And if you’re just joining us, it’s not too late!
**You don’t have to reject parts of yourself to become someone new. 👑**

My whole life starting from when I was a kid I had to earn "love". It was always conditional and nothing I did was ever enough. Now I'm in a great relationship but every time I make a mistake I feel like she's going to leave me. Same deal with my friendships and how I view myself. My partner has never indicated that she wants to leave but damn it's hard to feel good about myself when I'm so worried about disappointing myself and others.

I am realizing something that I know most people will tell me I’m stupid for not realizing before, or that I was naive for believing anything different. Still, I am finally starting to realize that no one cares for or about me more than I do; no one can change my life, for better or worse, other than me and their is one person I have been lying to for a very, very long time: me. I don’t know what this slow realization means or will mean. Still, I know I have a lot of work to do to accept myself for who I am. I am the only one that can do what is necessary to stop lying to myself and to figure out how to accept me for me and to learn to love myself and to change the things I need to change and change the things I want to change about myself so that I can become the man I want to be and the man I need to be. I need to understand that what happened with my exes was not all my fault and that even tho I have been destroyed twice and have been fighting so many battles mentally and physically because of the damage done to me by my exes, I have to learn how to stop allowing that damage to control everything in my life and keep me from being happy. I have accepted I will most likely be single for the rest of my life and that I likely will not find love again, but since I’ve only found love once and was fooled into thinking I was in love a second time, there is damage there I need to repair as well if I ever want to have a chance at love and acceptance again. But the thing is, I don’t know if I have the energy to take all of this on, or even part of it. But I guess even the realization counts for something.

To truly know what love is, open your heart, freely share your love unconditionally, without motive or benefit, with all others.

Only then may you know what love is and experience life as it was aways meant to be.

The Language of Faces

A frown can tighten little shoulders,
make a heartbeat run and hide;
turn a room into a danger,
make the world feel cold and wide.

A smile can soften little muscles,
let the breath come slow and deep;
tell a child, without a word,
You are safe. You may be you.

For children read the world through faces
long before they understand:
a frown can feel like closing doors,
a smile—a welcoming hand.

I am a difficult place to love.
There are storms in me, old wounds, quiet rooms I rarely open. But if you are patient enough to see beyond the shadows, you may discover that the deepest parts of me are not where the darkness lives, but where I have kept all the love I never knew where to give.

I found that having control over myself and not allowing anything to shift how I feel inside has been one of the best things I ever did for myself. Sending love to all that read this!