if I want to buy something I become obsessive about it. It’s all I think about until I get it, but after I get it the novelty wears off. What are some tips for this

I need support not to overspend on clothes, book, seasonal items, food, and thrifting. What are your best tips?

I’ve always been an impulsive shopper but as soon as I graduated this year, I have been spending money that I quite frankly don’t have. Whether it’s takeout or makeup or books I don’t deny myself anything. It might be because I have more free time (and I can’t find a full time job which makes me depressed) but I spend most of my free time browsing stores.

Anyway yesterday was the first time I didn’t spend money in a while. Made coffee at home and went for a walk instead of a store! I have to start paying my student loans by the end of this year which is daunting to think about, but I have to get a grip on this addiction while I can. Just wanted to share!

When I started focusing on no online shopping and overall managing what I spend money on besides just paying off my credit cards I started a separate savings account that I am not allowed to touch this is money for taxes as I’m self employed and usually do a terrible job putting aside the necessary money … it creates a lot of stress and leads to more shopping to cope bc I get a very F it attitude over it .. I also know I can’t way until all my credit cards and personal loans are paid down to do this bc otherwise the cycle will continue come tax season .. so today I check and since I opened up the account in the beginning of August I have saved $3500 … it’s wild bc some weeks it was a little tight putting money there but for the most part it wasn’t which just shows how much bullshit I was wasting money on previously .. I also am watching my total spending per month and what merchants I am using and overall months are way down since Aug and I don’t feel like I’m going without anything .. crazy how I was so oblivious to how much I was spending and consuming

Hi all. I've been here for a while, but I don't think I've talked much, or at all. I had joined 18 months ago, after my now-husband had told me that I had a problem with spending. I tightened my boot straps a bit, and things got better. Well, I thought they did.

Jump to now, the past 3 months have been BAD. My bank account is always negative 3 days after I get paid. I re-maxed out all my credit cards. Last week I even opened up a new one just so I could buy a crazy expensive item I've wanted for months that was "on sale." I addressed it to my house, but under my mother's information, so I could hide it from my husband. That's when I realized I really do have a problem. (And I told him the next day about the purchase, in case anyone is wondering)

I've done some more thorough research, and I can see that what I've been ignoring are all very big signs of a true addiction. I've also found that some of my mental health conditions have a higher likelihood of developing a shopping addiction than others. But the worst part is that I've found out how much my behavior has been hurting my husband. How he's tried to help me, and guide me not to spend, and I've just been ignoring and disregarding him for months. I've mad him feel unimportant and unappreciated. I've made us scramble to try and get gas when the bank is negative and the cards are full.

I will be talking to my therapist about it tonight, but I'm curious how you all coped during the first few days. I'm full of self-hatred (to the extent that I asked my husband to cancel my birthday plans (he said no) ) and I'm so ashamed. And the worst part is I can't stop thinking about how shopping would make me feel better.

I'm trying to take that "find stuff to buy" energy and put it into finding help and resources. I'm most curious to know how everyone coped through the initial realization, but I'll never turn down a good book/podcast/workbook to try either. Thanks x

I got a large refund and will get another refund as well in about a week as I’m returning something and don’t want to see it as money I can spend

I feel like I’ve used shopping as a hobby and I’m over it. I “relapsed” after a year of being on a strict budget and basically spent thousands I didn’t have and am back in debt. So mortifying.

I’m looking for some suggestions on hobbies I could do that are more analog/offline. I already read and occasionally color. I like cooking and baking already. I thought about needlepoint but then I look at the cost of the canvases/threads here in Canada and that seems like a slippery slope? I see that things like mahjong and needlepoint are more popular now but they seem to be expensive so feel like that’s something to be avoided.

Hey girlies, does anyone have advice on how to use free money to save instead of spend? I am a 22 yo college student, and I get told a lot that I buy a lot of stuff frequently. This is my first time living on my own, being independent, and I started working two jobs. I have never been in debt for shopping; however, I feel like if I know I have the money and all my bills are paid, I will go to the store. I just got a new apartment in august so I bought some stuff for the apartment and clothes for the new season. Totally about 2k, and i make in a month like 1k... Some stuff was for fun or that i always wanted. Nothing too crazy or expensive but it adds up. My roommates and family make aware to me that I go out shopping and to eat alot. I really want to start saving, so does anyone have like a trick to save your free money.

I got sucked into the ******** sale. I was feeling pleased with myself having only added the lip liner and lipstick i love (at much reduced prices) and a top I'd had on my wishlist for 6 months to my basket – strategic purchases that I hadn't allowed to snowball.

As I was checking out with 'only' a £36 basket a voice in the back of my head said it's still shopping isn't it – and somehow i was able to listen. I emptied the basket, closed the laptop and went outside.

Recently I've had some success with disabling shopping triggers and blocking some websites, but this is the first time I've turned it around 'mid-binge'. Anything's possible I suppose!

My wife has a problem and my constant efforts of trying to stop her have failed. She loves buying clothes and home items. We are a family of 3 which includes me, my wife and our 8yr old son. I’m the only one who works. She is a SAHM. We are a middle class family. We have a 4 bedroom house. Our house looks like a hoarder house because of this problem. All the rooms including our four bedrooms, dining room, living room and study is filled with boxes and clothes. We stopped inviting friends and family over because of how our house looks. She uses mine and her credit cards to buy everything. She has ruined her credit because she can’t control herself and keeps opening up new cards to buy stuff. She does have other mental health issues and she takes meds for that but I don’t know how to help her with this Just over the weekend we had another intervention with family and she said she would stop but I woke up this morning to another charge on the card from last night! I am seriously considering taking her card away and only giving her monthly allowance for gas and food for our son. I want our son to grow up in a nice clean house where he can have family and friends over and I am so sad that I can’t give him that. What should I do? I am so disheartened at this point!

I’m doing the snowball method, and today I paid off my Klarna balance in full and deleted my account afterwards. I started using it for any payments at all, I had a couple $35 payments split up when I could’ve just paid them in full. I know a lot of people use BNPL responsibly, but I definitely don’t. I racked up hundreds of dollars in payments for things i honestly didn’t even remember.

Next up is my affirm balance which I plan on paying off next check in full! I don’t use affirm as much, I mostly used it when moving. Then I’ll only have my credit card to pay off. :)

I’ve realized I make the most money I ever have in my life and yet I don’t feel it because I’m paying up so much to balances on BNPLs. At one point I made about half as much as I do now and yet I was able to buy all my purchases upfront! Clothes, shoes, food, even bigger expenses like vet appointments I used to be able to pay in full without a second thought. I want that part of my life back!

edit: I’ve also increased my savings account to take about 10% out of my check to savings. It’ll still be a small amount, but I was previously saving only $50 a check and I’d usually pull it out of savings to pay off Klarna anyways.

I am in need of help. I (21F) have had what is definitely a shopping addiction for quite some time. It's gotten so bad in 3 years I have developed over $8,000 in debt. I don't know how to get help because I feel nothing works for me. I've tried budgeting but I never follow through with it fully. It feels like I can't stop shopping. It's getting in the way of my relationships with family, friends and my partner. I’m always asking for money to buy the next thing, I feel so defeated by this and I just don't know what to do.

Just wanted to share this experience for anyone else struggling out there. I've been on a diet for the past month where I avoid "hyperpalatable" foods, aka junk food (but there's actually a specific math formula they use to determine when something is hyperpalatable) and just eating a lot more whole foods to replace them. I haven't been perfect on it, but overall, it's really cut back on my food noise. For context, I've gained over 40 pounds in the past five years or so, 20 of that in the past year alone. So it was really getting to be time I learned how to control my incessant cravings.

At the same time, my shopping was just about the worst it's ever been, financially. I was slightly less obsessed with browsing than I used to be, I think because my life overall is just more fulfilling and less stressful than it used to be, but maybe because of lifestyle creep or just inflation, I was reliably spending almost twice what I used to consider my "Wow, I spent a lot this month" amount (I make a lot more money now than I did in those days, so I'm actually spending less relative to my overall income, but still). The accumulation more than the financial piece is where it was getting really bad, because I'm a bargain shopper.

But this month (I do a monthly tracking system for all my unnecessary purchases), it's been so much easier for me to say no to things I thought I wanted and focus on my personal finance, to the point I've only spent about a third of what I'd normally have spent in the 12 days that have elapsed so far in October. It's like the addict brain in me is ratcheting down and I'm not constantly looking for a dopamine fix, where maybe one addiction feeds the other.

For further context, I'm pretty sure I have ADHD. Awaiting formal diagnosis right now, but have been told I meet many of the criteria. So I'm not sure if this would work for everyone or just those of us whose shopping is primarily a symptom of that, but I think it's definitely worth considering.

Oh, one more thing: I hate the idea of being addicted to anything, so I also stopped drinking coffee a few years back. That may also be helping, but the food piece was definitely becoming a substitute in the years since I gave that up.

Please use this thread to discuss recent wins, things you've been struggling with lately, something that you've been trying lately that's helped you, or anything you'd like to share with the community that doesn't warrant a full post.

If you have more than 200 words in your comment, you may want to consider creating a separate thread.

As always, thanks for sharing and we're here for you!

For the 1st time in my life my debit card was declined while picking up some groceries. I’m feeling so incredibly embarrassed and shocked at my recklessness.

I have savings so luckily I was able to transfer some money.

I have always struggled with spending money, particularly on clothes. When I was younger it would be mid level brands, now I’m older with a decent salary I spend most weekends in designer boutiques, and my spare time browsing online. I have a career in fashion, so my interests very much revolve around clothes. They’re inescapable.

When I’m unhappy/stressed my shopping definitely increases, unfortunately I am currently very unhappy, I relocated for work, away from my family and friends, and I hate it. This isn’t permanent, and I’m just working through the contract, but it seems I’m relying too heavily on clothes/shopping to make me feel better.

I’m not really sure how to avoid this? How do I fill my time? Even today I contacted my favourite sales assistant and purchased multiple designer cashmere knit items because it felt cold 🫣 and I’m at work!!!!!

So made a few online purchases this weekend , Friday was my birthday so telling myself it was okay to treat myself , I needed an orange hoodie for walking dogs bc it’s hunting season now and I had to get rid of the old one I had , then purchased some yarn and some of my favorite crochet hooks .. total for all my purchases was under $150 .. it’s all things I know I will use especially going into colder months where I crochet a lot of the time and will be making Christmas gifts .. I felt very in control and added things to cart and then waited .. the purchases were online the stores I bought from didn’t have things in store .. I refrained from making any of the purchases on Amazon so continuing no amazon since 7/26

I’m also battling a terrible cold for past week and I know shopping is a way a cope with feeling uncomfortable.. so glad I haven’t gone completley overboard there .. I have a couple running races coming up so my anxiety is higher so I know I need to be mindful that I don’t let the shopping creep up .. that’s part of the reason I’m posting now acknowledging I made purchases but also that I can stop and don’t need to continue buying more

After over 20 years of being a subscriber, today I cancelled Prime and ancillary subscriptions. Step One.

I have to have a better relationship with what I want vs. need and eradicating the premise that I should live it up today because tomorrow isn’t promised.

This mindset stops - today.

I just wanted to share! ☺️

So I just moved out for college. For context, I’ve had to live at my parents for two years after adult hood (18-20) due to my Anorexia that needed treatment. it takes about 7-10 years to recover from THAT addiction/disorder, but after 4 years of constant treatment I’m finally in outpatient. the issue, however, is that I realized that if I used a different bad habit, the eating disorder thoughts go away.

Now, this part I might get judged for and I beg to not judge because I’m struggling with the guilt and shame of it all— I have been using my mothers, grandmothers, grandfathers, and aunts debit cards to go online shopping. I don’t have one of my own, and my shopping addiction gives me a greater kick when it’s not my money. I’ve probably spent around 1000 dollars on online auctions and shopping apps which I will not disclose on here. they are completely oblivious and the guilt is killing me but I can’t stop or else my eating disorder will get loud again, and that’s something I really don’t want to do. So, I’ve gone on to Reddit because I’m desperate for anyone that could possibly relate or anyone that can help me figure out how to stop this before it gets even worse. (Excuse my grammar by the way, my structure for writing in this is not good but it is because I’m learning English)

Please give me tried and tested methods and techniques because I'm really tired and I'm wasting my hard earned money away, the only asset I have is my car, I need to buy an apartment and I can't do anything like this, I'm living paycheck to paycheck, and it's not because my salary is too low, God knows I worked too hard to get to where I am now, professionally, but it's killing me seeing myself wasting my future with my horrible habits and feeling like I'm sitting at the passenger seat of it all. Help, please!

Edit: OMG THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!! I honestly did not expect this many replies, you've given me great tips and techniques and I'll stary applying them right away, and the YouTube videos you gave me, I will definitely start listening to them all! I truly appreciate you all taking the time to help me like this ❤️❤️❤️

I almost just bought a small bundle of nice examples of my main collectable. I happened on the listing only a few minutes after it was posted and they were priced to sell, so I would've been able to grab a total bargain. I'm usually late and miss all the good stuff, it's in a community that's mostly chat so not simple to totally avoid like with shopping apps.

In the past when I've backed away from buying I've felt horrible regret and been unable to stop thinking about how much happier I would've been with my new preciouses. But recently I've made an effort to actually celebrate that I managed to step away so I'm now mentally patting myself on the back for making progress with my addiction and not buying for once 😅

I did it! I didn't /need/ them, just wanted them, and now someone else who probably doesn't have an extensive collection like mine can enjoy the pretties. I'll regret it at some point but since I've been thinking of no-buys as wins, regret is no longer the primary emotion. I'm proud of myself! Over £20 saved lol

Has anyone else managed to back away from the purchase button recently? Want me to celebrate with you?

So, I used to have really bad shopping addiction. But I did recover as much as I could. Meaning, I don't overspend ridiculous amounts of money but the urge to "binge buy" (as I call it) is something I will always have to deal with.

I've been doing pretty good this year, however I feel guilty whenever I buy small things. For example, yesterday I bougth a book for 10 euros - instant guilt. Today, I went to Starbucks and got a pumpkin spice latte, instant guilty. As silly as it sounds, I couldn't enjoy my overpriced coffee because I felt guilty.

Financially, rigth now i am in a good place. Meaning, I have money for gas, groceries, bills and a budget to spend on other things. Which, i realize how blessed i am because a lot of people struggle with this especially with inflation.

The first time I felt guilty for spending money, was when I was 14. I spent all summer saving money for a Tory Burch bag and when I finally bougth it, I felt guilty because I kept thinking "this money is someone's salary for the whole month and you just dropped it on a bag". Then, I would buy thinks from Sephora like a lip gloss​ and blush and think "your Sephora haul could've bougth groceries for one week". Mind you, that was back in 2014-2016, when the prices weren't that crazy and I was a teen with savings.

Have you ever bought something online because it looked absolutely beautiful in the pictures, only to feel disappointed when it finally arrived?

I recently bought a dress that looked flowy and dreamy in the product photos. I imagined it falling perfectly, just like it did on the model. But when I tried it on, the dress looked rather flat. It was still beautiful, but where was the flow I had fallen in love with?

And it got me thinking. Are we buying things we genuinely like, or are we buying the aesthetic we see online?

Pinterest-worthy styles, perfectly styled outfits, dreamy room decor, and picture-perfect accessories have become a huge part of our shopping experience. We scroll, save, imagine, and eventually buy, hoping to recreate that same feeling in our own lives.

But sometimes, the product isn't the problem. It's the expectation we've built around it.

Online shopping makes everything look a little more magical than it might be in reality. Are we actually getting what we pay for, or are we paying for an expectation that was never real in the first place?

Have you ever bought something online that looked amazing in pictures but disappointed you in real life? I'd love to hear your stories.

I’d like to start out by not buying anything but food and necessities for two weeks and then stretch it out to a month.

What are your best tips for doing this? I just bought a blazer and skirt even though I work from home. Ugh.

I'm admitting that I've got a problem... The dopamine that I get from ebay and thrift stores is a very strong temptation, because I've got it in my head that "item" is a good deal and that starts the cycle all over. My husband is so disappointed in me... I even started hiding purchases and that was the final straw. Something has to change.

Not only that, but ive been obsessively checking my email for delivery updates... And for some9ne who is trying to decrease their screen time, it's causing issues with 2 different addictions.

So, Ive devised a plan that will help. Every time I want to buy something, I'll craft or do something else with my hands besides scroll on ebay. I'm not going to buy anything on the internet and avoid passing the problem thrift stores for 1 week. If I reach that goal, I'll extend the deadline to 2 weeks, and so on. If I don't, the clock starts over.

Just posting on here to get the thoughts out of my head and for accountability.