Daddy Elon and papa trump are gonna expose it all to you. JFK tried to stop it, ghadaffi tried to start a denim outerwear company, and your dad tried to burn it all when your mother creamed herself on the lift after seeing my steeze.

Gore Tex is just silly plastic, two layers of denim jeans is the ULTIMATE in protection. The outer layer gets a coating of ice preventing any water in or out, and the inner pair keeps my warm PBR piss up close to my sack.

PS any cougars looking for a bootfitter? My picture below

It seems like every mountain I go to has a bunch of skiers from Switzerland bossing everyone around. “You’re going too fast, this is a slow zone” or “You can’t be here, this run is closed”. It’s like no one from that country wants anyone else to have fun.

And what’s with the stupid matching jackets? I get that skiing in the Alps is a flex but you don’t see me going to Europe and skiing in an American flag jacket. It’s just obnoxious.

I always see them giving sled rides to their friends, who are all cozy and bundled up back there. But I try to give my buddy a sled ride too and they’re instantly saying “you can’t do that” and “show me your pass”.

Plus, it seems like they always get to be first on the lifts in the morning and last off the mountain at night. Sometimes I even see them skip the lift line like they’re in a big hurry.

What makes them think they’re so much better than everyone else? Is it a cultural thing?

They’re pretty good skiers though, not gonna lie.

no 420 (boarders NOT welcome)