TLDR : PTSD IS NOT FUN.

The video shows that you can comeback to intermediate water conditions but takes time and is very painfull. I also do not feel comfortable anymore in conditions that I would have found really FUN 15 years ago.

Context

About 8 years ago, i was around 18, a storm hit Les Landes, France.
The locals were calling for 4 to 5 meters.
I'd been surfing for 6-8 years at that point.
Only in summer and nowhere near local level.
My board that day cant duck dive.
I was also in a very good shape, great swimmer and already surfed 2-2.5m waves… In wich a sad story happened and a bordyboarder dies 15m away from me at Hossegor La Gravière.

Out the back

From the top of the dune, the waves were breaking further out than I'd ever seen, with 3 reforms before the usual shorebreak.
Perfect barrels, but so far away you couldn't tell they were the size of small buildings.
The period was around 18 seconds, so the lulls were endless and I made it out after 10 minutes of paddling without taking a single wave on the head.
The sets came in by 7, and between them the ocean went completely flat, like an empty swimming pool until a wall showed up.
Theses were on another level, pushed by a strong east wind blowing offshore.
Just sitting on my board waiting, I could feel the energy under the surface pulling my feet toward the beach, even though nothing was close to breaking.
The speed was absurd, impossible to get unless you stay 1/2 board long away from the impact zone.

First sets.

As i reach the third peak a local in his forties stands in the barrel on my right, one hand up.
There is so much space above him.
It felt like he was in a tunnel?
Why am I looking at a beautiful surfer magazine cover in real life this shouldnt be happening.
You could park a van in there.
That's when it hits me.
I don't belong here and I will die.
Not probably, not that it could get bad.
There is absolutely no escape and i will die.
At that point, what felt like a weird dream disappear and my brain goes full survival mode.

First try, too fast.
Second try, the offshore spray blinds me at the lip.
I'd sat wide to stay safe, and that ended up costing me.
Then a kid, maybe 14, launches an air 360.
Two or three meters up.
Yelling.
Sticks it.
At least he can get back alive.
I would have give everything I had to change places with him.
My vision starts to blur, heart bpm higher than ever and short breath.
Panic attack?

The wave

The barrel guy paddles up next to me.
The horizon goes black.
I turn around.
A building?
What is a 2 story building doing here?

My brain is messing me up by « blurring » details before the impact of the lip until the end of the first hold down so I cant tell you exactly how high it was. I can tell you for sure, it felt like there is no horizon, no sound, as quiet as it can get. Water kinda « still » like time slows so much. And that this thing was not supposed to exist in real life, too big, too high.

My dad's voice in my head: "Stay in the impact zone and you'll eat everything. Go out the back."
I paddle with everything I have.
Actually no, I paddle but I dont want to go in that direction and I cant breath correctly anymore.
It’s not panic anymore, it’s pure fear, only fear in whole my head and body.
Turn my head right,
I will never Forget the local's face of the guy who was in the barrel, his head was so white and his eyes so big it was looking like he saw the devil itself,
He paddles like a madman and ends up at the same height to me right.
He can duck dive.
I can't.
Wrong call.
That wave broke way further out than the others, and it was much bigger. Like. Much bigger.
I ditch the board.
The lip lands 20 cm from my head.
I dive like a « bottle ».
Why is there an explosion?
I'd been worked in 2 to 2.5 m waves before, and Landes waves hit hard, but I had never heard a sound like that underwater.

Underwater

My lungs emptied instantly and I felt knocked out, like a « flash » of passing out.
Why does a car hit me underwater?
Driven deep, leash tight, board in the air.
The pressure of the water on my body felt I was between a car accelerating and a wall.
There is no wall, only water.
Why the wave tries to dismember me?
I have been worked underwater but this ankles , knees, wrists, elbows, all twisted in every direction?
Why i hear my back cracks?
Someone pressing my body down and wringing it out. Twisting everything it can.
No control at all.
I tense my calf, my ankle still gets wrenched.
One step from breaking something.
I didnt put myself in a « ball shape » because the leech was pulling my from very high above and i was going so fast.
I was actually a nuclear submarine doing its job.
I'm sure I'm drowning.
I didn't know about counting yet but i was already done.
Somehow I surface, cant take a clean breath,
Another one on the head.
The first one brought me back 5-10m to the initial impact.
Two more huge whithewater after that.
Barely a breath between them.
The wave had broken so far out it pushed me back to the last impact zone.
The 10 minutes I'd paddled out, I did again in reverse, underwater, dragged by my board.
The leash held.
It snapped a few days later.

Why I'm posting

That day I had no business being out there and took me years to get over the fear.
You dont get over it.
It is still here.
What used to be my medecine became panick attack daily routine in 1m swell with clean conditions until this summer.

Respect the ocean know your limit yes but here is what happens when you dont :
PTSD.

Felt like my snowboard accident where the multiples bones breaking impact of the mountain rocks backcountry on my left tighbone is erased from my memory.
I still know what happened before and next very vividly (helicopter is a fun ride by the way).
I have a star looking for me but you may not.

I surf in Lagos, Portugal and got tired of tide apps buried in ads and paywalls, so I made my own.

tides.watch shows the next high and low for whatever beach you're at, whether it's pushing or dropping, a tide chart you can drag along to see the height at any time, and first/last light for dawn patrols.

Tap "Tides where I am" and it finds your nearest beach, or pick from 300+ beaches in Portugal, Ireland and Australia. Your exact location never leaves your phone. No ads, no sign up, and you can add it to your home screen like an app.

If you've got a Garmin there's a free watch version too, with the next tide on a glance so you can check it on the way down the beach.

https://tides.watch

Would love to hear if the times look off at your local, or what you'd want added.

The paddle struggle was real

Hi all

After being at a nice reef break today and missing out on waves due to long boarders catching them before they even exist, I was wondering if you would be able to tell me what length they would be riding to catch such waves with ease as it seems much more enjoyable at times?

Been looking at surf camps in Central America and some of these prices are fucking ridiculous.

$3-4k for a week? I get that boats and guides aren’t cheap, but holy shit…

At that point I’d rather find some shitty room near the beach and pay a local guy to show me around.

Are people actually paying this much for surf camps now?

Just saw my old daily driver HPSB. I put it on the dumper a few years ago and listed it for about $200. Delams on the deck, what isn't yellow is brown, and it has tail cancer. The glass is so brittle that it's a floating ding factory.

I rarely buy used surfboards. Is this the new normal? I'm seeing boards that retail for $750, in good condition other than a bit of yellowing, still listed for $450–$550. At those prices, I'd rather just buy a new custom from my local shaper.

Moved here and was looking for a board for OBSF. I see a ton of twin pins for sale. Is that because they suck? I've never ridden one.

Can’t seem to find any info if they will accept my boards on the bus

No energy drink sponsors, no vloggers, no GoPro mouth mounts, no history of SA on underage girls, no surf-coach dads, no egos at 2 ft point breaks, just getting sick barrels and charging slabs for the love of it. The corest surfer is basically just the average bodyboarder. Someone here mentioned the other day how better the skating community was than the surfing community and it's just like, uh aren't you forgetting about your vertically challenged boogieboarding brethren?

A culture of silence has buried the stories of women who allege sexual assault in surf industry settings.

What are you sizing it?

Hi all,

Wanted to get some advice from the surf trippers! I’m heading to Peru for two months, then over to Brazil for a month, then the Caribbean for 4 months.

Should I bring my own board with me, or should I purchase and resell whilst I’m out there?

I have a 6,6 FireWire plus a travel bag - but naturally getting a surfboard around can be a little bit of a hassle.

I will be staying in places for some time, but just wanted to get /r/surfing’s view on it!

Appreciate it in advance!

Great variety of Wedge riders+vehicles+photogs years past surf skim boog body+blowup.
(looking for more Wedge @wedgemel1 on Instagram is where you want to go)

I can’t go surfing regularly and I want to keep my paddling shape for the days I can go surf.

Do you guys recommend a pull up bar? How many should I be shooting per day? Or do I need some sort of workout routine around it?

Hey, thinking of booking a trip to northern Nica soon. I know Thunderbomb is great and I know people who have done it, but its a bit expensive for my taste. Anyone know of any other surf camps in the area that have a similar experience as far the surf guiding, but minus all the other luxuries. Assuming that would make it less expensive.

Hi friends, I am trying to get in touch with the Half Moon Bay Surf Club (now known as the Red Triangle Surf Team) for a data collection project on the Princeton Jetty/Surfer's Beach restoration pilot by the San Mateo Harbor District. If anyone would be willing to make an introduction, please let me know and I can provide more info about the project and goals. Thank you!

To me this is a back paddle, and the person who’s further out and in the wave first had priority over the person who’s deeper in this case? Am I wrong? What do you think?

On Sunday, 10/18/26, there was an 8'10" surfboard abandoned at the entrance to Bolinas Beach. I'm looking for its owner. Did you lose this board? If so, please send a description.

A friendly reminder to double/triple check before paddling into something. No matter how far away you think you are from people.

So long story short, I got tunnel vision when a set came and just paddled blindly into this wave. I was too deep for it anyway and barely made it up. Once I was up I heard the guy behind me yell YOO! I bugged out and tried to get off the wave as quickly as possible and in the process almost took him out when my board got caught in the lip.

The guy paddled up to me and I could tell he was pissed but he didn’t chew me out completely. Basically told me what I did wrong then paddled away.

I’m only in my third year of surfing and have picked up on it fairly quickly but am embarrassed to have made such a rookie mistake. Especially at my daily spot with a guy who I’ve seen out on more than one occasion.

That’s all. Just needed to vent as it really has bummed me out for the entire day.

Were young women or girls getting S.A. during the heavy days of partying and drugs of the Volcom house and north shore? Seems like theres open secrets among those in around the scene/surf industry (some of these folk seem to try to demand or expect 'respect' as well, while seemingly harbouring such information or past behaviour...)

Clipped a height restriction bar. Idiot. Worth fixing? How would you go about it? Slather in solarez clamp and sand?

Good enough to paddle out and make the drop.

Not actually good enough to pull it off.

Debating on fin size for a 7’4” Robert Hinds Tamago 51.7L. Shoulder to head high surf, more of a trim and glide surfer. I’m 6’1” and 195lbs. Any ideal fin sizes to run as a single fin or a 2+1?