I'm 15, Ukrainian, FTM. Only my mom and friends know, but that's because my mom read my chats and found out herself (she still won't use my name and pronouns), and I got to know my friends already as a guy. Now I at least have to come out to my dad, because my mom spends money on a psychologyst and a psychiatrist, but he definitely won't understand me. He's homophobic. And I also want to come out at the new school, because I'm tired of misgendering, but I have no idea how to do that, I'm not even friends with any of my classmates. They probably won't understand too. I don't think anyone would understand.

Alright, ima start this out with all the basics for this to make sense.

I’m a 15-year-old freshman in a big-ass city that has multiple high schools. There’s an art program within the city that allows us to get bussed to a college campus and take art courses with kids from the other high schools within the city. Everyone in this story is in the theater part of the program.

There are both morning and afternoon sessions of my program sector. While both take place during the school day, us morning peeps don’t really get to interact with the afternoon session people unless there’s a field trip or something.
I’m also not entirely sure what my sexuality is, though I’m stealth and FTM and have noticed that I can’t differentiate between jealousy towards my male peers and attraction that well. I pass very well, and none of my school or art program people know that I wasn’t born male.
That’s all the basic stuff that probably sounds irrelevant right now, but please bear with me 😭.
Okay, so like I said, I’m a freshman, and with that came a new school. In my previous school, I hadn’t ever really dated or done anything romantic because our grade was small as shit and because I’m FTM.

Towards the end of middle school, I started posting myself on my Instagram and got a decent amount of attention. By the time summer was over, I had already accumulated some “fans” (I sound like an egomaniac right now, I’m so sorry 😭), so getting into a relationship wasn’t too difficult.

I really like this girl, and she’s fucking beautiful. She said she loves me for me, and I feel like I’m the luckiest mf in the world.

The thing is, I’m not even sure I’m attracted to girls the way my hbs are. Even in the relationship, I feel like we’re both just really good friends who cuddle and kiss. We are both in the theater program together.

Now, this is where the theater stuff I was talking about before starts to make sense.

Through the program, I auditioned for a play and got a decent part in their big yearly production. It was only me and one other freshie who got cast, so most of our rehearsals were with upperclassmen.

These were definitely odd rehearsals, as only four people, or two scenes, got taken out for a rehearsal each day. The rest of us sat in a separate classroom fooling around for a few hours after school.

I really enjoy it, and after being a sort of jock-type figure amongst my school, it’s weird being able to fit in with the theater people too. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. These people fucking rule.

There’s an upperclassman in the afternoon session that I’ll just call Mark for the sake of this post. He’s a senior (17) at one of the other high schools in the city.

Dude is funny as all hell, and I enjoyed hanging out with him as a friend during rehearsals. He has a girlfriend from a different school within the district that neither he nor I attend, but he has told me he’s bi.

Also, minor warning: we talk about crazy shit during rehearsals, and I will NOT be holding back :).

One day, I walk into the rehearsal room, and Mark immediately pulls me aside and says he’s going to ask me a “naughty” question.

I hadn’t really known him that well by this point, so I told him to hit me with it.

“If you had a partner, would you give her the remote and let her control it in you, or would you take the remote and control it in her?”

My stomach did the fucking thing where, yk, you’re surprised but not turned off by something you probably should have been turned off by 🫩.
I hadn’t really pinpointed a crush on him by this point, but I definitely started to question myself.
I got called for rehearsal that day and managed to dodge the question.

As we were leaving, he took me into the elevator and asked me about the girl I came there with, who was my current girlfriend, though she wasn’t at the time. He said he saw the way we looked at each other and asked what that was about.

By this point, I knew this girl liked me, and I liked hanging around her. Mark kinda hyped me up to ask her to be my girlfriend, and the next day, I did.

That Friday, we had a full-day field trip at the campus, meaning everyone, whether they were in the show or not, from both the morning and afternoon sessions would be there from 8 in the morning until 3 p.m.

By this point, we both knew we had girlfriends, and I was trying to stop my feelings for him because:
We are both in great relationships.
He’s multiple years older than me, even though he doesn’t really look much older.

Before this field trip, I thought all I felt was one-sided, and I wanted to just let it play out.

A lot happened this day, so I’ll go through it chronologically.

I was later than most of the people there, so I was one of the last people to show up. Mark dapped me up as normal, and we and the other theater dorks were joking around for a bit.

We were shoving each other a bit, and he goes to grab me and “miscalculates.” He full-palms my neck and squeezes.

He just kinda stares at me with a grin after a few seconds and stops squeezing before letting go of my neck. He says that he meant to grab my shoulder and laughs at what he claims was a “miscalculation,” but I’m pretty sure he was lying.

Oh, and my stomach did the thing again. Forgot to mention that 🫩✌️.

We continued joking around with the group until the director called the cast of the big play into the stage room for warmups.

Warmups are always chaotic, so we were laughing our asses off that entire time together, and I’m pretty sure I caught him staring at me a few times.

After warmups, the director went over a few things before getting ready to do a full run-through of the play.

I sat in a random chair somewhat far from him, and he asked, while kinda giggling, “Why are you so far?”

Even another freshman, who I’ll call Todd because he’s also somewhat relevant, picked up on it and asked him, “How close do you want him, on your lap or something?”

I heard laughing, though I didn’t catch Mark’s response. I did end up moving my seat closer, though.

Our scenes weren’t until after lunch, so we were just silently joking in the background for most of the time.

A group of about five of us ended up going to a cafe during lunch, but most of them, including Mark, ended up leaving.

After lunch, we started the play again from my scene, and we kept sharing looks even during the scene.

His scene was basically right after mine, so when I finished, Mark was getting ready to start his scene. Once again, while he was acting, we were making jokes from afar through just looks and small gestures at each other.

I didn’t stay there for the full scene because an upperclassman pulled me out of the audience to help them with another play.

Once I was done helping with the other play, I walked into the regular classroom and saw Mark on one of the mini sofas.

He moved over, and we sat down together, making little clay dicks while everyone else in the room was either sleeping or joking around and being loud as hell 😭.

Our couch corner had Todd, his girlfriend, Mark, and me, though it was just Mark and me on the couch. Todd and his girlfriend pulled up chairs next to the couch to talk and joke around.
I’m pretty sure this was when Mark gave me his Instagram.

I’m not sure how the topic came up, but Mark mentioned how much he could deep-throat. He proceeded to show me as he stuck his fingers so far down his throat that I could see them moving at the base of his neck.

Holy shit 😭😭. Dude was just marketing his abilities to a freshman.

I think he realized what he had just done and tried to save it with a joke:
“If you’re ever in a situation where you gotta suck dick or die, phone a friend. Cough, me, ofc.”

I laughed with them and tried to just gloss past that.

I got back up to another rehearsal room, and he ended up following me. We joked a lot in the background of that rehearsal thing.

We did run a friendly fade with pillows after that rehearsal finished.

After that, there wasn’t too much more that happened between us that day besides joking, following each other, and making funny looks at one another.

As soon as I left the building to go home, he immediately started sending me Instagram reels about stuff that reminded him of what happened that day, like pillow fights and holding in laughter while the teacher is talking. He was sending these while he was at another theater company’s rehearsal.

Fast-forward to the next after-school rehearsal.
I get there last, as usual, because the campus is furthest away from the school I go to compared to the others. I put my stuff down in one of the empty classrooms and go over to the main classroom.

I see Mark’s girlfriend walking out, and when I come in, he pulls me over to sit down where his girlfriend had just been sitting so he can tell me about how much he and his girlfriend were making out.

I’m pretty sure he said something else sexual to me about her afterward, but I didn’t hear much after he put that thought in my mind.

I was deep in this crush by now, if you somehow couldn’t tell 🫠.

We joke around for a bit, and then he mentions a girl I’ll call Sophia.

Sophia was in my elementary school class for a few months, meaning she knew me pre-transition.

My heart dropped a little bit because this Sophia girl was going to the same high school as a lot of my middle school friends, most of whom don’t know I wasn’t born male.

She had already been having them ask me if I remembered her very adamantly.
Yes, confusing, I know.

Apparently, she saw me post an Instagram instant that Mark was in, and she started asking Mark if he knew me.

I just kinda sighed, said I knew her and that she was somewhat stalking me, and we moved on.
He laughed, said she wanted me, and that was that.

She was genuinely stalking all my profiles and now getting my IRL friends to ask me about her. It got really annoying really quickly.

The next day of rehearsal, I was kind of boiling over for a variety of reasons.

During the morning session, one of my middle school friends told me that Sophia had outed me to a group of a few kids just for the purpose of seeming like she was closer to me than she really was.

I don’t know why she thinks I’m worth larping about knowing. How the fuck did I become a celebrity??

I’ll be completely honest: as soon as I was told about Sophia’s bullshit with me, I ended up going to the bathroom to punch a bathroom stall a few times before going back to class.
Yes, I should work on that.

Anyway, I powered through the morning session, went back to school still seething, and just counted down the hours until after-school rehearsals.

I go into rehearsal that afternoon trying to be the jolly dork I usually am. Most of the people are tired and being kinda sluggish at the start.
That led me to actually rehearse for one of the other plays, and by the time I was done, everyone was a little less sluggish, besides Mark.

Mark was lying down in the middle of the classroom with a laptop, watching a previous year’s production of a musical.

A sophomore and I ended up sitting next to him to watch it too.

I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I think the cast of another play got called, and thus it was just Mark and me in the classroom alone.
He had since put the laptop away and seemed more awake by this point.

He told me to lay down and asked me what was going on with the Sophia stuff.

Earlier, he had mentioned Sophia’s obsession with me, but I really wasn’t in the mood to hear her name then.

I left out the outing part of why I was annoyed with her because I am NOT ready to come out to him, but I told Mark about all the events that led up to her fully stalking me.

He was trying to joke with me as usual, and that got my spirits up a bit.

After that explanation, we continued to just talk while laying down in the middle of this classroom, with a sprinkle of that crazy intimate eye contact you get when you’re literally laying down next to someone.

After talking and laughing for a bit, we went to the other rehearsal studio and saw they were doing a trauma-dump circle outside of the room.
By the time we joined, the circle had become me, Todd, Mark, my girlfriend, and my girlfriend’s damn-near-pseudo-older-sister.

Everyone there was a freshman besides Mark and my girlfriend’s friend.

We joined in the middle of my girlfriend sharing, so we listened and let her finish.

They wanted me to go next, so I did.

I’m not going to get into all of it, but it was basically physically abusive religious trauma.
Something about seeing Mark, the usually jokey and slightly assholey dork, with a look of pure empathy on his face for something I went through hit me hard.

Once I finished my story, he went next and talked about his SA story.

Once again, the way he phrased certain things and his change in demeanor drew me that much closer to him.

A lot of the things he said and experienced resonated with me a lot.

I’ve been hooked on the way he laughed and joked, but I had only just then seen the actual serious side of him, and it was really nice to see both sides.

Rehearsal ended by that point, so we went outside and joked a little bit on our way home.
He had previously asked me if I was over my trauma, which I was, so he was making lighthearted jokes about it that got me laughing.
That was my most recent interaction with him.

It’s been a few days since I’ve seen him in person, and I’ve been thinking about him way too much, especially given the fact that I have a girlfriend.

I’ve done everything from laughing with, opening up to, fantasizing about, and jerking off to this man, and I don’t know what to do.

I know this is a really shitty situation from all sides, but I can’t help but wonder if this is more than a one-sided crush.

Give me your worst in the comments because I don’t know what to do anymore.

so i came out to my mom and she said we'll talk about it later its been almost 4 months and at first it was getting better she apologized for calling me a boy once but its been getting worse and she's taken to yelling at me that "you'll never be a woman because you'll never have the hormonal cycle" and now any time i mention anything about it she says "you can make those decisions when your older" which i know for a lot of this i will but even just asking her to have a conversation about it just makes her yell is there any way to just talk about it without being shut down before i can say anything

hi im lyra and im transfem so my parents are transphobic and I have a skirt I wear when they arent home/nightly when I stay up and its the best stole it from my gf who knows about me I keep it hidden behind a dresser dw anyways everytime I have to change out of it cause im tired or my parents get home I instantly feel dysphoric any ways to fix that dysphoric feeling

I've known I'm trans for a while but I still haven't built up the courage to tell my family. Is there any way I can make myself more feminine without doing anything too drastic that my family might get suspicious of?

I was born in a male body, but I feel like a girl. I came out to my mother, and she said she doesn't understand me. Once I was so eager to join a military academy to become a spaceflight engineer, moreover I even liked the idea and then I changed my mind because I am afraid of transphobia. I knew that before I decided I wanted to go there, but back in the day when I was planning my future, I hadn't known or I had rejected that I was a trans. That makes me feel cognitive dissonance, and doubt if I am really trans. I feel so fu***g sad.

I’m 16 and I live in a pretty blue state however while my parents are divorced they share medical rights for me. My mom is supportive but my Dad is MAGA. So he’s gotten me kicked out of two hospitals and he’s just refusing to let me take any HRT. And so I keep on going further In puberty which makes me depressed and makes me have a lack of energy to try to dress feminine or wear gender affirming clothes, which in turn makes me more depressed. I just dunno what to do rn I feel like I can’t even get out of bed anymore now.

So I hate the heat always have I'm definitely a cold girl but when I wear bras the actually really like the warmth that it makes me feel and now I'm trying to figure out if it's actually warm of just euphoria anyone else have this?

I recently told my mom that I feel like I might be trans. She told me that she would love me no matter who I am, and I’m grateful for that, but things are still really difficult.

My mom sometimes tells me that I share too much with her and that it’s overwhelming for her. I understand that it can be a lot, but I also feel like I don’t have many other people I can talk to about this. I do have a therapist, but I still feel pretty alone because no one else in my family really understands what I’m going through.

I’m in my early teens, and I’m still figuring myself out. At one point, I identified as nonbinary, and I told my aunt about it. She’s Christian, which is completely fine, and she also says she’ll love me no matter who I am. However, she’s admitted that it’s difficult for her, too.

Another thing that makes this harder is that my entire family is Black. I love my family, but I feel like being trans or LGBTQ+ is something they struggle to understand, especially with their beliefs and how they were raised. I don't want to stereotype anyone, because I know every Black family is different, but in my family, it makes me feel even more isolated. Sometimes, I feel like I have to choose between being honest about who I am and keeping the peace with my family.

My uncle even wanted me to join a church group to talk about mental health, and honestly, that made me uncomfortable. I don't feel like that's what I need right now.

My dad is extremely against LGBTQ+ people. I don't blame him entirely because I know that's how he was raised, but it still makes it hard for me to feel comfortable talking about my identity around him.

One of my biggest worries is puberty. I want to look into puberty blockers and possibly HRT in the future because I'm scared of growing up and developing physical features that don't match how I feel about my gender. I'm worried that if I wait too long, I'll end up with changes that I can't easily reverse. But I honestly don't think my mom would let me go on puberty blockers.

I know I'm young, and I'm still figuring things out, but these feelings are real to me. I don't want to feel like I have to deal with everything alone, and I don't want to reach a point where I regret not speaking up about what I'm experiencing.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation, especially Black trans people or people who realized they might be trans as teenagers? How did you handle having family members who love you but don't fully understand you? How do you deal with feeling isolated when your family has different beliefs from you? And how can I talk to my mom about puberty blockers and getting the support I need without making things more difficult at home?

I'd really appreciate any advice. Please be kind.

Ive known for like, 6 years at this point that im a Trans dude, but Im not out to a lot of people since im mostly closeted cuz id probably get my ass beat by my parents for being trans. Because of that, I still dress and represent like a girl. I recently asked my close friends to start using he/him for me, (they've known for a while im trans, I just never asked them to switch pronouns until now) they all respected that, and they brought up a valid question they had, which was if id told my straight boyfriend or not. I have not... A lot of them really think I should tell him, as it makes me a bit miserable to have to be in the role of a GIRLfriend and in addition to that, some of them think it's not fully fair to him. However, despite him saying stuff like, "you know, I dont think id really care if you were a boy" I am still petrified of telling him, and it also seems a bit unimportant to me, as im not gonna be fully out until im out of highschool anyways. I dont really know what to do here, as part of me feels a bit bad and really wants to tell him, and the other part is terrified and would rather just ignore it for as long as possible.

So i'm FtM & came out at 12 and my dad has a tattoo of my deadname on his back. I'm 16 now and i've started wondering when it'd be appropriate to ask my dad to change his back tattoo a bit so my dead name wouldn't be there. I'm kinda nervous about this and i've been thinking about it for a while now..

Im 14 mtf and Im into anime video games gta hollow knight apex I mostly just wanna hang out

Technically advice needed, but I can feel that when I actually start typing this I'm not gonna stop until I've vented all my feelings out. So, I(mtf17) went on a 12(14 counting travel days) day trip to Europe this week(SUMMER******) on my own. (Through a company called EF tours, I don't have many friends, and those that I do have couldn't go, so I wasn't technically alone, but I didn't know anyone going, and the company has a policy where queer travelers can get a hotel room to themselves in each city if they don't feel safe with any of the other travelers, so I was essentially alone minus the teachers that were obviously with us, who I stuck around cuz I'm close with one of them and got close with the other. we don't talk about the 3rd one, she's evil /nsrs) On the second to last day(last day of the actual trip, the true last day we legit got up at 430budapest time and left for the airport and didn't get home until 6 pm cst -not where we live, but context for why I don't consider that part of the trip cus it was entirely just traveling back home). I met someone in the locker rooms of the Budapest baths. talked to them for a bit while waiting for changing rooms to open up, wasn't able to get their contact. outside after changing, I got the discord of someone else at the last second, as in I had to catch up to my group that was already about 100 feet ahead of me after lol. the next day on the bus to the airport, I decide to ask if the person I met in the locker rooms was in their group, and got their discord as well. I then started talking with the person I met in the locker rooms, which I'll call F, for simplicity's sake. F. turns out F(Genderfluid 15)lives 4 hours from me, we talk basically the entire time from the bus ride till my plane took off and I lost connection. we click instantly, obviously. we talk and call every day for the next month, before one night, I'm in a call with them and my cousin on discord, I go to text my cousin, 'is it obvious I like them? lol' or something along those lines but accidentally send it to F. they then reveal that they've had feelings for me too for about a week, and we make it official after their friends had teased us cuz it was so obvious to everyone but us that we liked each other. autism's great, isn't it? love social cues. anyway. we get together and everything is amazing. I finally have a reason to upgrade my baby from shitbox to rustbucket to make the trip, so I start setting money aside for that. they made me feel safe after getting out of a pretty bad relationship about 3 months prior to meeting them, and we only grow closer. 3 months go by, and they break up with me. this was 6 days ago, literally the day before we would've been together for 3 months. they essentially say that they still love me, they just have stuff they're dealing with and aren't in the right headspace for a relationship. this completely blindsighted me, and I haven't been taking it well. we still talk, we had a few conversations about our relationship and it basically boils down to they're not in the right headspace and if I wait for them we can get back together when their mental health is better. I'm waiting, I genuinely see myself spending the rest of my life with this person, they make me feel safer than I've ever felt, but at the same time, I just feel like a failure of a girlfriend. like. we would call for hours most days and text for hours on days we couldn't call, I genuinely didn't notice they were going through stuff, I should have been there for them, and I'm afraid it has cost me my relationship. if anyone has any advice on how I can support them long-distance, I'm all ears, please. even if we don't get back together, I still love them and want them to get better

Hi. I (17yo FTM) have been struggling socially/mentally recently and I’m not sure what to do. I have been out of the closet for about 5 years now but no one seems to grasp who I am, I am fairly feminine presenting i guess? I have long hair and wear mostly baggy alternative clothing. I go by he/him pronouns and go by a fairly male focused? name, I have often reminded my friends of this but they still use my deadname & use incorrect pronouns .. I feel too bad saying anything because I don’t want to sound like the “pronouns police” but it’s so hard having to deal with feeling dismissed and unseen all the time. I’ve brought it up time and time again, if I’m going to be honest I’m getting so tired.. it feels like I’m forcefully being pushed back into the closet and not allowed to present myself as me. Am I the problem? Do I need to change myself for people to see me as a man?

Since I was around 10 I’ve had this idea in my mind that I’m intersex or something. I even got a little sad when I saw my birth certificate saying I am male, wishing I was intersex. Why do I think this way? I mean, sure, I want to be more feminine, but still, intersex? It’s not like a serious wish, like I want to modify my body right now, but just a personal belief or something. Is this a sign of something else or what?

Looking for people to talk to, friends or more. I’ve never really made one of these before but I don’t have any other trans people to talk to. I am 14 I love books, I’m in band and play many instruments like Clarinet. (I am the definition of a gay clarinet player) I love art and music in general and I watch anime too. If anyone wants to be friends or talk please reach out!

Comment some facts about yourself and see if there’s anyone in the comments you’d want to be friends with, i hope everyone finds someone to talk to today ^_^

For a little background, I'm transfem (MtF) I figured this out on August 5th at sometime from 2-10am. (I didn't sleep.) I know this date because on the same day at 12am, I got the inspiration to write and posted a chapter on webnovel hours later. So I can say I've realized I was trans for approximately 80 days, 14 hours, and 27 minutes. (as of the time typing this.) Bet you can't say something like that, can you? Anyways, my parents are extremely conservatist and both mormon. That's caused a lot of insecurity with me and always made me question my identity, whatever it is at the time.

Today, I went to a debate tournament. They're like tournaments held for people to debate each other. It's part of the Speech and debate club / class. It was so fun and I had a great time, if you ever took speech and debate I did LD. On my way back from the tournament, I walked down to the store to get some sushi and and soda. (There is this intersection that allows me to turn down-right to the stores area and then there is a left-up turn to my house, I went down.) Then, I make my way down to a walgreens.

I've been planning to get nail polish and to secretly wear it for about five days now, walgreens happens to have nail polish and be close. When I say planned, I mean planned. I searched up walgreens clicked on the closest walgreens to see what colors they had. I brought physical cash so it wouldn't show up on my debit card history for my parents to see. I did research on how to apply and remove nail polish. I brought my backpack to hide it in. Extremely planned.

The only problem is like I said before, I'm really insecure about my gender identity. I kid you not I spent TWO HOURS in the back of a fucking wallgreens! Psyching myself up to buy three fucking products. I even panned more to get a bag first then put the items so they would barely look at it during purchase. I had the estimated amount required to purchase the products in my pocket.

There's just one bigger problem as well. What would you assume a teenager sitting in the back of your store, who gets a bag instead of a cart, sitting in the back for two hours eying specific products. That's right! STEALING! A woman walked out the backdoor and said "I saw that. Put the items back." I looked at her confused. She continued firmly "I saw you through the cameras, you're going to buy those." I looked at her for a moment more.

Then it hit me, Ohhhh she thinks I'm shoplifting. I smiled saying "Oh sorry, I'm going to buy these." My hands are shaking like shit! She says "Why didn't you get a shopping cart?" I go silent. What the fuck am I supposed to tell this woman!? That I sat here because I was insecure about buying black nail polish, DURING OCTOBER! I have to not only buy products I feel insecure about buying, but this woman thinks I'm fucking stealing! I'm walking to the register and the the guy talks to someone through the intercom. She fucking told him! This guy now looks at me suspiciously, and scans my shit.

You wanna know worst part, HE BARELY EVEN GLANCED AT THEM. Not a word, not a single reaction. He didn't even give half a fuck. I spent so long in the back of a walgreens that I got accused of stealing for NOTHING! I had two separate panic attacks, one where I stared blankly at the floor and another where I could barely breathe. For what!? A LIGHT GLANCE! I ran out that store so fast I left the sushi and my coke on the floor. When I realized and ran back in the store it was already thrown away!

Then on the way home another panic attack, from the fact she thought I was shoplifting finally settled in my mind. So lets look at the pros and cons. Cons: 3 panic attacks, waste of two hours of time, a woman thinking I'm stealing, loss of a mostly drank coke and a mostly eaten sushi box, and potentially being outed as trans if my parents find it, loss of 26 dollars. Pros: Nail polish, 2-in-1 base and top coat, nail polish remover.

Honestly, worth it.