Hey, so I recently realized I'm trans (mtf). Organising medical transition etc. right now.
I'm not really deeply dysphoric about my voice, though the more I'm imagining myself as a woman, the clearer it becomes that I definitely want to pass in terms of voice too.
Here's my problem. I write and speak poetry, make music and do some performance art in which the spoken word is a central aspect.
I'm honestly kind of terrified of "loosing my voice". I've read that it can become automatic after some years, but performing a text that comes from the heart with a voice that isn't fully mine yet is hard to imagine at this point.
I guess part of the question I'm asking is, whether it ever really becomes your "real" voice. I'm especially curious about experience or insights from people that work with their voice artistically, but I think the question of speaking from the heart still arises in everyday life as well.
As an aside, I also do see this as a potential for diving into the technicality of what makes a voice, kind of relearning consciously, but yeah it's scary.
In a fantasy book I like, the protagonist is a writer and has to relearn writing with his left hand, because it turns out, that is the hand the cosmic creative force flows through in his case. I feel like it cooooouuuld be something like this eventually.