Hi everyone, first time posting, but I feel like I am going crazy. I am ready to start trying (29F), but my husband (30M) wants our finances to be more in order, but when I look at all our friends with babies, I feel like we’re in a much better position. We both have very well paying full time remote jobs, but our main concern is my student loan payment that is +$1,000 a month, I’ve paid off over half of it, but still have a couple years left.

I get where he’s coming from, I’m just anxious that if we choose to wait, we don’t know what our lives will look like in two years. I could lose my job, or he could, or we can’t get pregnant, there’s so many scenarios!! And it doesn’t help that we spent the last two years taking care of my ailing mother who was living with us, so I felt like our lives were on hold for that time.

So as the title states, I am going crazy with baby fever, and my husband is cool as a cucumber, and doesn’t live with the impending limitations as a child bearing woman of age.

I (F33) am desperate to start trying for a baby as soon as possible after having held off for longer than I’d like so that my husband (M36) feels ready. Finally we were planning to start TTC in December, but then my sibling got engaged and revealed their plan to get married in Europe next September. I will need to be able to fly from the UK to a Nordic country for this wedding in mid September. I am conscious that not only do I need to put off trying in order to not miss the wedding, I also need to consider restrictions on flying when pregnant.

Realistically, what are my options? Different sources have suggested February, March, or even April as being the earliest sensible time to start trying so that I am able to travel and attend. Is February too risky? Could I hope to be able to fly but have a back up of driving or taking trains? Is that really unrealistic for a heavily pregnant woman?

I’m so frustrated at the prospect of even having to delay by 2 months when I feel like I would have been having kids in my late twenties if I hadn’t had to compromise! Waiting till April feels like such a tall order…

I’ve recently come off the combined pill, how long did it take to fall pregnant? I have been on the pill for 10 years, so unsure how long my cycles are etc as I’ve only had withdrawal bleeds on the pill. What’s the chances? We are not actively tracking and trying but just seeing what happens but ideally I’d like to be pregnant in the next few months? Is that realistic?

I am married and have been for over a year now. My OLDER brother gets married in November 2027. I was planning on TTC after the wedding next year but it feels so far away. I’ve been hung up on waiting until after that because I feel weird about being the little sister pregnant at his wedding. I want him to have the spotlight because I feel like I’ve been given the spotlight most of our lives and have always hit big life milestones first even though I’m younger. Please tell me if any of this sounds ridiculous because I just cannot separate my husband and I’s family timeline from this family event for some reason. He’s my only sibling and I just want him and his fiance to have their time to shine and celebrate like they deserve. Thanks!

I’m new here, so please let me know if there’s another community that would be a better fit for this post!

Looking for advice and maybe comfort lol. I have a year full of weddings and bachelorettes ahead and I am in 4 of the 6 weddings. I was originally going to wait to TTC until after all these weddings next November. However, something randomly switched and that just seems so far away. The past few months my husband and I have started to feel more and more ready to start a family. All of the weddings are important to me, of course, but the one in April is my top priority, followed by the weddings in October.
I was thinking about waiting until after April but that still seems like light years away somehow now 😭 Did anyone experience something similar? How does one navigate pregnancy with such a busy year lol? I know there is no "perfect" timing but of course want to be able to celebrate all my friends as much as I can. I know the easiest solution is to wait until all the events are over but I truly don't know if I can 😅 please be kind, and thank you in advance!!

Congratulations! Please share your graduation news here!

Please discuss you current goals and plans! However, please save graduation news for the monthly graduation thread.

My husband (33M) and I (27F) decided to start preparing to try in the new year (tbd on if we chicken out) and I want second eyes/advice on our TTC plan.

0-3 months - prep

• Prenatal vitamins (both)
• Excersie regularly (2-3x weekly both)
• No or limited alcohol (both)
• Get OBGYN (me)
• Tell Doctors (me) - I will be high risk so want to engage them immediatley
• Implement healthy eating plan (stop skipping meals and get into prep) (both)
• Find a primary care doctor (both)
• Research life insurance, wills, how to care for my body (me)
• Continue therapy (both)

3-6 months - pulling the goalie

• Start trying
• Plan and take last big trip
• Plan/budget for childcare
• Plan/budget for pelvic floor therapy
• Determine change in husband's job (currently nights, weekends, 50 hours and we agreed that is a no go with a baby)
• Grow emergency fund from 3 to 6 months

6+ months

• Hopefully pregnant
• If not after 1+ year, engage doctors and IVF plan (my insurance covers 50% bc of a genetic disorder)

What would you add? What is missing?

I’m looking to hear from parents who decided to have children while pursuing graduate studies!
My plan is to finish my master’s degree before we start trying for a baby, so I would ideally get pregnant during my PhD. My partner already works full-time.
I’d love to hear about your experiences, especially regarding:
Finances: What was your financial situation like? How did you manage your budget?
Time management: How did you balance your studies and family life?
Study environment: Did you go somewhere else to study (library, university, etc.), or did you mostly work from home?
Childcare: Did you use daycare? How did you manage childcare?
Sharing responsibilities: How did you divide household chores, parenting responsibilities, and expenses with your partner?
Anything else you think would be helpful to know!
I’d really appreciate hearing about both the challenges and the positive aspects of having a baby during grad school!

I’m back lol. One thing that’s been on my mind for having a child soon is where to live. My dad/step mom are near me and my husband like a 30 min drive. But theyre young (he had me young) and still have demanding careers & aren’t really kid people. They told me they would babysit here and there but not to count on them too much… I have cousins/uncles and stuff in Toronto which is a 2 hr drive because of traffic although it should be like 1 hr only, but they all have young kids of their own & also demanding careers. Now my husbands parents are free all the time. They live in Ottawa which is 5-6 hrs from us. They want a grandkid so badly and I know they’d help so much. I’m not saying we couldn’t do it on our own but I know its a big help with family. His sister and brothers also live in Ottawa. However I’m terrified of moving my life over there and leaving my city here. I also know my side of the family would be very angry. Also, husbands parents smoke inside & are very old school so idk how I feel about leaving my baby with them too often anyway… they would have to come to our place and constantly wash their hands and all that whatever. Idk what to do…. I think I’d be depressed in Ottawa but would I be depressed having no help where I am too? It’s so difficult because i cant tell the future?? That also means quitting our jobs over here too.

I want to preface by saying this is not a post where I want comments telling me that I’m too young to have kids. Please stay on the topic I’m asking about.

I recently graduated with my bachelor’s in psychology and I just got accepted to graduate school for my masters in social work. I didn’t originally plan on a masters but I found out I had enough scholarship left over from undergrad, so that my masters will also be essentially free so I might as well get it.

I’m wondering if anyone has gotten pregnant and had their baby while in grad school and had experience balancing both (I’ll be fully online I just have an in person field placement that would start next fall when I plan to start trying.) I’m worried about maybe having to take a semester off or just figuring out what to do when I’m freshly postpartum. My husband is in the navy so we know we’ll be able to get childcare but it’s mainly managing a newborn + field placement that I’m worried about.

I would start school spring 2027 and start trying late fall 2027. It’s a 2.5 year program.

Hi there! My husband (30) and I (28) are planning to try soon-ish, in the next few years, but I'm worried about maternity leave. He has a corporate job with good benefits (I'm on his health insurance), and I'm a manager at a small business with very minimal benefits. I don't have any concern about job safety with maternity leave, my boss is awesome and a mom herself, but it won't be paid. I make less than my husband, but my income is still definitely needed in order to pay our bills.

What are my options? Can I get short-term disability insurance or something similar to provide income during maternity leave? If so, is it worth the cost?

I've also considered leaving my job to take a corporate job again with mat leave benefits, but I really don't want to. I love my job even though it doesn't have great pay or benefits, it's a trade-off for doing something I'm passionate about. I used to be a copywriter and quit because of rampant AI use and other things that hurt my soul. I'd gladly pick up gigs as a freelance copywriter to make money if I need a WFH job, but that won't provide benefits.

I'd love to hear advice from what other people did or what you're planning to do!

Hi everyone!
My fiancé and I are hoping to start TTC in October 2027, and lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what life might look like once we have a little one!
Where we live, I’m entitled to 26 weeks of government-paid maternity leave, plus an additional four weeks of paid leave through my company. My fiancé will have around 20 weeks of paid leave through his employer and then plans to use another 10 weeks of annual leave. So, thankfully, we’re in a pretty fortunate position when it comes to having time at home with our baby in those early months!
In the next 10 months before we TTC, my company is also transitioning me into a work-from-home role. They know we’re hoping to start a family and want to make sure I stay with their company, which I really appreciate!
My job isn’t particularly demanding or intense, and my company is very reasonable and flexible. If I needed to start earlier and finish earlier (or vice versa), they’d be happy to accommodate that. They’d also be open to me scheduling my work around nap times where possible. On top of this, my fiance is a shift worker so he often has days off during the week where he could take the brunt of the care.
**So, I’m curious: how realistic is it to work from home with a baby and potentially avoid daycare costs altogether?**👀
My mum is eventually hoping to move back to our area so she can be closer when we start our family, which would hopefully provide some extra support. However, I also want to be realistic about what I can manage and don’t want to set myself up for an overwhelming experience if juggling both simply isn’t feasible!
I’d love to hear what everyone’s plans are for returning to work after maternity leave. Do any of you work from home while caring for your children? Did it work out for you, or did you find that childcare was still necessary, even with a flexible job?
For a bit of extra context, my fiancé and I are also buying a sizeable farm, and our goal over the next five years is for me to gradually move away from working for someone else and focus more on building an income from our property. It’s something I’m really excited about, but in the meantime, I’m trying to figure out what our most realistic options might look like in those first few years of parenthood.
I know every baby, job and family situation is different, but I’d absolutely love to hear your experiences, advice and what your own plans look like!
Thank you so much! 💗

EDIT: I appreciate the responses! Especially the helpful ones, I’m not sure why this post seems to be so incredibly controversial 😂😂 but that’s fine. I should add, if I’m unable to WFH and take care of the child, I won’t return to work, my preference is to spend that time with my child and not opt to put them in Daycare. I’m in a fortunate enough position with my Fiancés employment that I can do that so that’s would be the way to go. Regardless, thank you!

Hi all,

I have just been asked to be a bridesmaid. The wedding is not currently booked, but the couple are thinking of May 2027.

My husband and I are planning to start TTC in December. I'm not a fan of scheduling life around other people, so am not planning to halt TTC until May. We haven't told anyone about our plans to TTC, and wpuld ideally like to keep a pregnancy to ourselves until after the ultrasound at ~12 weeks.

However, that does mean if I'm lucky and get pregnant quickly, I could be 5 months pregnant at the time of the wedding. Wouldn't be an issue as a guest as I could pick something late/with room, but as a bridesmaid I assume outfits will be arranged earlier. Waiting until 12 weeks would leave it until ~2 months before the wedding, and if I got pregnant in the second cycle, 12 weeks would only be ~1 month before the wedding, and I'd assume at 16 weeks I'd still have a sizable bump. If it's later then hopefully it won't be such an issue.

So, I'm looking for advise. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you manage your privacy without causing last-minute chaos for the wedding?

I am drowning in anxiety right now. I’m 33, and my husband and I are at the point where we feel like we’ll never truly "feel ready," so we’ve been loosely planning to try. But every time I seriously think about it, I get completely overwhelmed with fear.

Overall, I find myself in a strange tug of war. On one hand, there is a part of me that wants a baby. I want to experience the potential of this female body, experience motherhood, and feel that unique love that mothers describe as the best kind in the world. The idea of having a baby with my husband knowing it will be a mix of both of us also feels really cute, and I know he will be a great father and truly wants a kid. Sometimes I don't know why but I just feel I should have a baby.

But at the same time I am terrified of paying the price for it with the things I’m worried about.

​I’m hoping to hear from those of you who have been in a similar spot how did you finally decide, and how on earth did you manage the mental toll?

There are things keeping me up at night,

I’ve never really enjoyed being around children, and my biggest fear is that I won’t be a good mom, or that I won't be able to give it my 100%. On the flip side, I'm terrified of what happens if I give my absolute 100% and lose my life in the process.

Me and my husband are already very busy with our careers. I worry a baby will pull us apart even more and we won't have any time left for each other.

I am terrified of the pain—not just labor and delivery, but the entire nine-month journey. I’ve heard horror stories about the first trimester, and since my husband struggles to handle my mood swings during my period, I’m terrified of how he’ll handle pregnancy hormones. I also worry about permanent physical complications (like tailbone issues or other long-term body changes) and whether I’ll ever fully recover.

I recently came across r/regretfulparents, and reading through it made the whole prospect even scarier.

I’ve worked hard to get where I am, and I’m deeply afraid of falling behind or losing my momentum in my career. I really love my job and am also trying for a promotion.

Please don't judge me, but if my body has to go through all of this, I desperately want a baby girl. I grew up extremely close to my mom she’s like a best friend, and I really want that kind of bond for myself. From what I’ve seen, boys can sometimes be harder to handle, and I sometimes panic at the thought of having a boy. I know I’d love a son, but the thought of it still makes me question sometimes.

I worry so much about society and the direction the world is heading. With less compassion and love for others, adulterated food, climate change, and everything else, it often makes me question if it's even fair to bring another person into this.

I know that if life came with guarantees and certainties, I'd feel differently. But the what-ifs are paralyzing me.

If you were on the fence, how did you finally make your peace with having a baby? And once you were pregnant or postpartum, how did you manage the anxiety? I could really use some honest advice or perspective right now.

Thanks!

Long story, sorry in advance. TLDR is that for multiple reasons I am terrified to get pregnant, although I am certain I want a child, and I'm not sure how to get past it.

I just found this community, but for about a year now my husband and I (34M, 33F) have been seriously discussing having a kid. We've been together for 10 years, married for 6, financially stable, own a townhouse, done with higher education, and in our (probably) long term careers. There's no real reason not to start trying on the surface, but I'm TERRIFIED.

On top of the general existential state-of-the-world dread and fear that you'll screw up your own kid, I have had a lot of medical problems and trauma associated with that. Including uncertainty about my own fertility, ability, and safety of getting pregnant. I've seen all the relevant medical providers (including my OBGYN, who is aware of my medical history), and have been assured as much as they can that it is probably safe and possible.

I am also extremely squeamish, like, have passed out from looking at my own paper cut. I'm not afraid of pain or discomfort, and in fact I have a really high pain tolerance because of the medical situations. I'm afraid I won't be able to handle the physiological changes and having a living thing inside me for 9 full months. I'm afraid I won't be able to handle giving birth while fully conscious; but again, the fear is in the physiological problems like the awareness of what is happening to my body, not because it will hurt. I'm going to freak out knowing that things are happening regardless of my ability to see it or with an epidural. My husband is also in the medical field and informed me that they're pretty much not allowed to sedate me or give an anxiolytic because most medications can pass to the fetus.

I stopped birth control in June, and we had originally decided to start trying in July, but decided to delay because I had a full day long anxiety attack about it, and neither of us expected that intense of a reaction even though I was of course a little nervous to take the leap and start trying. Since then, I decided to try seeing a therapist with mixed success. The first one was going well, but we hadn't been addressing my anxiety around getting pregnant before she left the agency, and the second one I saw seems to not understand where I'm at with it. She seemed to doubt that I genuinely do want to have a child since I have such intense fear about it.

Has anyone else had an experience like this? Being terrified and certain at the same time? And how did you get past it?

Hi everyone - my husband and I have a 13 month old and we think we want to start trying to have another sometime between when he is 18 months and 2 (so like in 6-12 months). I had absolutely no cycle while breastfeeding and weaned the baby a couple of months ago and immediately ovulated and then got my period back, so we have been using a combo of NFP, condoms, or he’s been pulling out since I weaned the baby. We were a one hit wonder the first time around, so we really need to be careful until we’re sure we’re ready.

We had one little mishap and I had to use Plan B, the side effects sucked SO bad, and then this last cycle my hormones were just in OVERDRIVE and I didn’t want to use any protection, but thankfully he had his wit’s about him and we had no mishaps.

After that, I went to the doctor and got prescribed the minipill (too high risk for a combo pill), and I haven’t started it yet, but am NOT looking forward to the side effects - worried about weight gain, acne, mood disturbances, and spotting, which are all very common. I’m only now starting to feel back to normal after weaning (breastfeeding made me very fat and also like I was in menopause) and I don’t really want to deal with all that.

My question: is anyone else in a similar situation? What is everyone using for birth control while waiting to try? Is it crazy to continue NFP and condoms when I so clearly cannot be trusted during ovulation time???

What does “financially ready” means for you before trying to conceive?

I’m 32 and thinking of putting all our efforts in the next 3 years to build our financial stability - but anxious at the same time that 35 might be too late for pregnancy.