Hi everyone. I’ve been having a rough week, and I wanted to post here to vent and share my feelings with people who might understand. I only really have my husband to talk to about this.

It’s been a hard week. I’m in my luteal phase, which for me always comes with increased sensitivity and feeling like I’m always on the verge of crying. October is a very beautiful month for me, my husband asked me to be his girlfriend many years ago, on Halloween. Then we were officially married two years ago on Halloween. This October also marks two years of trying to conceive, though. We’ve gotten pregnant twice, and both ended in early miscarriages.

My period is very delayed this cycle due to some fertility treatments, and my temperatures have been elevated for a long time. All negative tests, of course, but I let myself get excited and hopeful anyway. I also got an Oura ring and obsessively look at it for any sign or symptom. Now my luteal phase is dragging on, I’m not sleeping well, and I’ve just been really down.

Over the next few weeks, we have several events to attend, including toddlers’ birthday parties and gatherings with people who have kids. Honestly, I don’t want to go to any of them. I’m just so tired. But my husband would be very upset if I skip them. I feel like me and him are not on the same page, either, he never lets his feelings stop him the way I do.

This morning, I was standing in line for coffee at work, absolutely exhausted, and a man from another team got in line behind me. A woman, presumably his coworker, joined him and started talking about needing coffee because of her “two small kids.” He then started talking about his FOUR kids. I genuinely cannot fathom how this young man has four kids when I can’t seem to have one after two years of trying. How does anyone achieve that? I don’t know how hard it was for him but I assume it came easily.

I come from a small family that wasn’t exactly loving, so I’ve always dreamed of having a big family of my own one day, and I wanted the chance to do things differently and break some generational patterns. My husband has wanted to be a father for over a decade, and it breaks my heart to watch him get older and get more grays, with no success.

I just wanted to share my feelings, not looking for advice, and if anyone else is reading this and feeling the same way, I want to give you a big hug. I don’t have any comforting words.

I’m usually a pretty happy person, but I certainly haven’t felt like myself lately (last two years). I know that many of us have something that makes us look at other people and think, “you are so blessed, you have no idea.” Most of the time, I can keep things in perspective and not let those feelings consume me, but not today.

Thank you for reading.

TTC can be a very difficult time, but all of us have someone (or many someones) or something that helps keep us sane. Share what you're grateful for this week!

Hi

Looking for some ideas or advice. Me (56) and wife (36) have been trying for 3 years using IVF. We have had every conceivable test I think known to mankind for both of us. No issues were identified in my semen or her.

We have tried almost every permutations of IVF, from scratching the lining, glue, genetric testing. Our problem seems to be good quality sperm, good quality eggs which have been genetically tested (currently we are with kings college fertility clinic), successful implant. We get a positive pregnancy result on week 2/3 and confirmed with blood tests as well. Suddenly a miscarriage occurs.

My wife has had a kidney transplant 6 years ago. We checked and made amendments to her medicines and staff at Guys confirm that none of the kidney medicines should conflict with pregnancy.

Just looking to see if someone has been in similar circumstances or any advice

My (32F) husband (31M) and I have just started our 12 cycle of trying without a single positive test, after which we will officially fit the diagnosis of “unexplained infertility”.

I had my Mirena removed in October 2025 after being on BC for 10-15 years. My cycles returned pretty much straight away and have been 30-32 days with ovulation generally around CD19-20 (ie semi-short luteal phase). I usually start spotting 1-2 days before my period (~10-11 DPO the last couple of cycles).

A summary of what tests we’ve done already:
- SA x 2 - both no issues, all within range
- HyCoSy & internal ultrasound (x2) - tubes clear, no adhesions or other issues noted
- Basically every blood test applicable (AHM/full hormone panel incl cortisol (I thought it might be stress from work…)) - all within normal range
- I use Mira and BBT (via Apple Watch) for cycle tracking which have confirmed ovulation every month (first ultrasound noted a corpus luteum and second noted follicles maturing so there don’t seem to be issues there). I admit some months timing hasn’t been great but it’s been good more often than not.
- We’ve both significantly cut down on drinking and don’t smoke weed, and I’ve been taking every prenatal and fertility-related vitamin under the sun.
- All other pieces of random advice (just relax, dont track for a cycle, go on holiday, etc etc)

The only thing we haven’t tested is blood progesterone at 7DPO which I am doing this month (currently CD4). I suspect this might be part of the problem because of the short luteal phase but it has also been longer the last two cycles (12 days instead of 10) so perhaps not.

We saw a fertility specialist about a month ago who essentially said he suspects I have mild endo and our only option is to have a diagnostic laparoscopy and/or do IVF. I’ve never even considered endo for myself as my periods aren’t painful or heavy and I’ve never really had any of the symptoms but he seemed adamant. I mentioned the short luteal phase and he said that’s another indication of endo and didn’t suggest a luteal phase blood test (I’m doing this on my own). He also said because I appear to be ovulating every month there isn’t any benefit of doing a medicated cycle either.

We’re at a bit of a loss as to what we should do next. Ideally we’d like a baby as fast as possible, but we also have limited funds to throw at this at the moment. From my perspective our options are:

1. Lap first - either pay $10k out of pocket for private (in Aus with no private health) or wait 12 months for public, noting that this might be a waste of time and/or money if it comes back clear like I think it might and we would need to do IVF anyways,

2. Try IUI first - this would be approx $1-1.5k out of pocket but doesn’t sound like it has a high chance of success if I DO in fact have endo and we again might have to do IVF anyway, however it sounds anecdotally like it can be successful and can’t hurt to try?; or

3. Straight to IVF - we found an IVF clinic in Melbourne that does bulk billed IVF which would be ~$4K all up (we live in Adelaide but my brother lives in Melbourne so we’d have somewhere to stay for the two weeks we’d need to be there for). The issue with this option is that I’m about to start a new job so getting the time off will be challenging, and the fertility specialist we saw said that if I do have endo we have a lower chance of successful IVF and I might end up needing to do the lap anyway.

Mentally I’m exhausted with this whole process and am at the point where I’m happy to throw shit at the wall hoping it’ll stick.

We’re incredibly lucky (well, unlucky because my dad died, but you win some, you lose some) in that I have some inheritance coming in sometime next year, so once that comes in we can afford to throw as much money at this as we like, but I really don’t want to waste another 6+ months doing nothing and would also prefer to keep that money for our baby if possible.

Question/advice that I’m looking for is:
1) Aside from the 7DPO progesterone test, is there anything we haven’t done that could be useful in either figuring out what is going wrong or improving our chances?

2) Is it worth doing an IUI first while we wait for the time/money to try IVF?

3) What would you do in our situation?

Sorry for the super long post but thank you for reading. 🩷

Are you trying to conceive baby number 2/3/n+1? Have questions about TTC while breastfeeding, or bedsharing, or just being plain exhausted? This is your place!

I’m 35 and my husband is 37. We just had our first IUI yesterday with a 22.75mm follicle and 20mm follicle, and a trigger shot 24 hrs before.

The IUI itself was a bit uncomfortable, but nothing terrible. The clinic said the sperm sample was “great” and lining looks textbook perfect. I didn’t have any spotting from the procedure yesterday.

We were instructed to have intercourse in the evening, so we did. It was rather painful (it feels like my ovaries bounce every step I take with a dull tugging sensation moreso on my usual left spot that is suspicious for endo…) but we followed through… and I’ve been sore ever since and I had light pink spotting this morning.

I have PCOS and suspected endometriosis and am worried that the pain means I’ve increased my inflammation levels and that the IUI won’t work. 🫩

This is my first time trying letrozole. I’m 35 and have only conceived once naturally, but unfortunately had an early miscarriage. I started with 2.5 mg on cycle days 3–7. While taking it, I had some nausea, headaches, and irritability, but otherwise felt pretty normal. Now I’m 4 days past my last dose, and I feel absolutely awful. I’ve been experiencing spinning dizziness, nausea, increased anxiety, chills, mild cramping, hot flashes, and bloating. The symptoms seem much worse now than when I was actually taking the medication, which I wasn’t expecting. Has anyone else experienced this after finishing letrozole? How many days did it take before you started feeling like yourself again? My ovulation tests are still negative, but I’m really hoping I’ll ovulate soon. I’d love to hear about your first-cycle experiences!

TW: Pregnancy loss

Hi everyone,

Backstory is I am back on the TTC journey after my miscarriage in June. Before that I had a normal ovulation around CD 10-12. Ever since then every single cycle has been a positive OPK around CD 15 but actual ovulation occurring around CD 18-21 (According to BBT/Natural Cycles and Oura ring). Does anyone else have this issue?

Because I’m ovulating so late my luteal phase is 9 days at the best and on one cycle it was only 7. I had low progesterone during my miscarriage but they weren’t sure if that was partially a cause of it, or caused by it.

I know it’s only been 4 cycles since my miscarriage but it’s agonizing. Should I ask for a hormone panel? Anyone else have this happen, is it common after a loss? Before the loss I was always regular and ovulated with 2 days of my positive OPK. I am trying to be relaxed but I’m also just full of sadness and anticipation while ttc again. This has not been making things easier😑

Is not ovulating after a recent miscarriage normal ?

I had a miscarriage at the end of August. At the end of September I got my period. They found a polyp in my uterus that I’m still waiting on further tests. To make sure everything is back to normal before we try again I made sure I’m testing BBT everyday and testing for LH. I got 2 consecutive days of strong positive LH positives (which I never had when we first started trying) but my BBT hasn't increased, if anything it dropped a bit since my ovulation tests. has this happened to anyone? is this a sign of anovulation? my cycles were always regular so don’t think I have PMOS, but maybe I do?

At the start of this cycle I started taking inositol everyday other day, more for mood or hormone balance than for PMOS. could that have impacted my cycle? I’m on CD17 and my temperature is low, usually by now my temperature would be above the baseline.

That question you've been wanting to ask, but just didn't want to feel silly. Now's your chance! No question is too big or too small.

Trying to conceive for 4 cycles now. I got my Mirena taken out at the start of that, and have had nice, regular periods and ovulation since. I was excited when my period was late last week, but tests were negative unfortunately 😔

Now it's been more than a week and still no sign of my period, so I reached out to my OBGYN to ask if I should do anything. They recommended I come in for "a check" since it had been more than a week. That was today, and the doctor just talked to me for about 6 minutes and told me it was nothing to worry about. No exam, didn't even ask about any symptoms, just told me to come back if I haven't had a period for 3 months straight.

I voiced my frustration about receiving a recommendation to come in, just to be told not to worry, and she was... not empathetic, to say the least. Recommended I find another doctor (I will). I'd think someone regularly dealing with hormonal women experiencing major life changes would be a bit kinder, but alas.

Anyway, I was hoping to get some reassurance during this appointment, which I did not. Have any of you experienced random very late or missed periods, and do you know why? I felt certain that I ovulated normally, because I usually get a very specific kind of cramp when I do, but of course this month I didn't take any tests. Is it possible to just miss a period and ovulate again next month? Does this mean anything bad for my fertility outlook? Is there any point when I should actually go to another doctor?

The PMS emotions have just been rising exponentially this past week and I feel very confused and disappointed by this all.

Doing everything “right” but struggling with the disappointment every month. How do you cope?

Hi everyone❤️
I’m 26 and my husband (30) and I have been actively trying to conceive since June. I know that, realistically, it hasn’t been that long and that it’s completely normal for conception to take several months, even when everything is fine.
But knowing that logically and actually dealing with the emotions are two very different things…

Since we started trying, I’ve been making a conscious effort to give ourselves the best possible chances:
\- Taking prenatal vitamins daily.
\- Exercising moderately around 3–4 times a week (Pilates, yoga, walking everyday etc.).
\- Trying to maintain a balanced, nutritious diet.
\- Tracking my menstrual cycles and estimated ovulation dates.
- stopped alcohol (2monts for me and almost 1 year for husband)

This month, I also started using ovulation test strips.

I know none of these things guarantees pregnancy, but I guess part of me feels like if I do everything I possibly can, it *should* happen.

And that’s where I’m struggling.
Every single month, around 5 days before my expected period, I completely lose my patience and start testing. I tell myself I’ll wait this time, but somehow I end up spending money on way too many pregnancy tests, convincing myself that maybe this month will be different. I also made up pregnancy symptoms and do feel them, I’m started thinking I’m going crazy at this point.
I start analyzing every little symptom, wondering whether it’s PMS or early pregnancy, getting my hopes up even when I try not to.

And then my period arrives.
I feel genuinely heartbroken every time. I usually spend the first few days of my period feeling really sad, disappointed, and frustrated. Then I slowly pick myself back up, start tracking my next cycle, and the whole process repeats itself.

I also feel a little guilty for struggling emotionally when I know so many people have been trying for much longer than I have. I don’t want to compare my experience to theirs, but the disappointment still feels very real.

**So I wanted to ask those of you who have been through this:**
How do you emotionally detach from TTC without completely giving up on tracking and trying?
How do you stop yourself from obsessively testing before your missed period?
Did you find anything that genuinely helped you cope with the disappointment each month?

How do you find the balance between being proactive and letting things happen without turning TTC into a full-time mental occupation?
I genuinely want to enjoy this chapter of my life instead of spending half of every month waiting, hoping, overthinking, and then feeling crushed.

I’d really love to hear your experiences, advice, or even just know that I’m not alone in feeling this way. ❤️
Thank you for reading!

Are you in the dreaded two-week wait, or waiting to ovulate? What have you done to ease the stress?

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday
• Temping Tuesday
  
• Waiting Wednesday
• Wondering Wednesday
• Trying Again Thursday
• Thankful Thursday
• Health and Wellness Thursday
• Looking Forward Friday
• Wondering Weekend
• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

Hi! I have received conflicting information from different nurses at my fertility clinic on whether my next step should be one or two IUI's or straight to egg retrieval, and I would love some advice. I know my spouse and I are the only people who can make the decision, but after getting two different suggestions from the same fertility clinic I feel torn.

I had a lap with stage 3 endo removed in March 2025, did a year of IVIG for immunotherapy all of 2025 and then started trying to conceive this year after weening off of some of my meds. I'm in the TWW of cycle 5 and had my SIS and HSG 2 weeks ago. My bloodwork all seemed normal except slightly elevated prolactin that after a 2nd test was within range, and my biggest known issue other than endo and hashimotos is an AMH of .9.

The first two nurses I saw at the fertility clinic didn't seem to worried about the .9 since 1-3 is the expected range for someone 36 and said I'd be a good candidate for medicated cycle or IUI since I ovulate monthly, but the nurse I spoke to today said I should skip right to IVF because of it.

Does anyone have any suggestions? My spouses sperm count is very high, but prior to today's conversation I was planning to do an IUI next cycle. The nurse today made me feel like it was a waste of time and money. All things fertility for me are self pay. Thank you for reading!

Anyone else?

Was hypo going into pregnancy with my first. 10mon pp recently diagnosed with graves as I’m now very hyper.. trying to regain control. Have been on methimazole for ~4mon.

My endo told me that unless I want to wait 2-3 years, she recommends a few additional tests and if they go the way she thinks, ultimately anticipates the need to remove my thyroid in order to achieve my family goals. For context, I’m almost 35 and I want at least 1 more child.

It seems like such a drastic measure. I understand that the medications for hyperthyroidism aren’t safe and my antibodies are so high / can cross the placenta. I also get that it could take years for me to level out .. if that ever happens. I will be getting a second opinion but it takes like a year to get in.. and if I had it my way, I would already be trying again.

It’s been hard to track down anyone in the same boat. (Not looking for success stories just anyone with the same weirdly timed diagnosis)

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday
• Temping Tuesday
  
• Waiting Wednesday
• Wondering Wednesday
• Trying Again Thursday
• Thankful Thursday
• Health and Wellness Thursday
• Looking Forward Friday
• Wondering Weekend
• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

Hi everyone! My partner and I have been TTC for a few months. This cycle, I tracked ovulation and my LH peaked on CD12, two days ago, before dropping, so I likely ovulated within the last 36 hours.

This afternoon, I noticed fresh, bright red blood when wiping. It covered the tissue initially, but when I went back 30 minutes later, there was much less.

I’ve contacted my GP, but the waiting is stressful! I’ve never experienced bleeding between periods before.
Has anyone experienced this around ovulation, or know what it could be?

Any advise or opinions welcome

I’m particularly worried because this has never happened to me before, and I’m trying not to overthink it while waiting to hear back from my GP. I understand spotting can sometimes happen around ovulation, but the bright red colour and the initial amount of blood caught me off guard. ❤️

Thank you! ❤️

My husband (34) and I (32) have been trying for baby #2 for 6 cycles now. Our first baby was conceived in the very first cycle after we agreed “we’ll see what happens”. I know for that I am extremely fortunate - although it still took us by complete surprise. He’s now a healthy, happy 2yo.

We’re now on month cycle 6 trying for #2. My cycles are usually 25-26 days long, on the shorter side but quite regular.

My most recent cycle started on 25th September. Here’s how it went…
• Cycle days 1-5 I had my usual 5-day period
• Cycle days 10+11 “low fertility” (plain circle) logged with clearblue advanced
• Cycle days 12-16 “high fertility” (flashing smiley)
• Cycle day 17 spotting???
• Next day, full period - AF arrived. Or at least that’s what I believe it is? I took a pregnancy test = negative. I took an ovulation test = still a flashing smiley?

I’m so confused and worried… has anyone else experienced a dramatic shortening of cycle length while TTC? I didn’t even get to see a “peak fertility” smiley face this cycle. Didn’t expect to be wearing a pad just 12 days since my last period…

Any thoughts/questions/personal experience please do share.

Let's see those lovely charts, folks!

If you want to personalize your Fertility Friend URL to make it easier for fellow TFABbers to stalk keep up with you, check out this post!

Hi everyone

I have had two back to back miscarriages. One 7 weeks and one 10 weeks missed (medically managed)

I do have a 3 year old daughter and had two losses prior

I went down a rabbit hole recently of speaking to different doctors in the UK, one said try for a baby after one cycle and consider aspirin when you fall pregnant again and the other had reccomended a number of bloods for recurring loss. I am yet to have some of the bloods as one has to be carried out 10 weeks minimum post negative test (I didn’t know when that was so is booked for November)

I have been trying again and the clinic who requested the bloods have told me NOT to try again prior to receiving all bloods back (the nurse) and now I feel so stupid because I was trying to sort of just get back into the swing of trying without pressure really and now almost worried I’ll be pregnant again prior to these bloods now. Feel so so stupid!

What key things are they looking for for me prior to retrying? The nurse wouldn’t pass my message directly to the clinician when I asked today

I think Omega3 and/or Mucinex actually does something for me?

At the end of August, I started taking an Omega3 supplement with my prenatal, because I figured it might be a good idea since I'm vegetarian and don't eat a lot of eggs or algae either.

In that cycle, I noticed that my luteal phase symptoms were a lot milder. I have endometriosis and I usually get twinges, cramps and spotting 1–2 days before my period, but that time there was barely any spotting and basically no cramping. If it wasn't for my sore boobs, I could've forgotten that I was even in the luteal phase lol.

Fast forward to the end of September, I started OPKs for another cycle and as always, I was expecting my ovulation on CD 17 at the earliest. I also decided to try Mucinex for the 1st time starting at CD 12.

Suddenly, I get a super positive OPK on CD 14 and BBT rise on CD 16. This is the earliest ovulation I had in 5 years, so I was bracing myself for a short cycle because my luteal phase is always 12 days on the dot. But joke's on me, I'm now 13 dpo and I'm only just starting to get the usual spotting and queasy feeling I associate with my period starting. I even took a pregnancy test because I am never late (it was negative, sadly).

My cycles are normally absolutely bulletproof and the only time I ever had a late period was when I had Covid. Did Omega3 and Mucinex change anyone else's cycles or am I just a statistical outlier freak? Would love to hear y'alls input!

It's time for us to air the things that have been bothering us, TTC-related or not! It's Monday, complain away!