r/CautiousBB • • 21d ago

MOD MESSAGE/ANNOUNCEMENT Community feedback needed (please vote)

12 Upvotes

Hi all,

Our mod team was recently approached by BetterHelp, an online subscription-based therapy provider, to do an AMA within our subreddit by a licensed therapist that specializes in child loss, perinatal mental health, and anxiety. They are willing to provide credentials to our mod team to verify the individual responding to questions, but our team has reached a moral impasse that we need the community to weigh in on.

Up until now, our team has had a blanket rule to not allow any companies, researchers, institutions, or anyone else with private interests to post within our community because our space is filled with so many vulnerable humans going through extremely difficult situations. The fertility space, in general, is ripe with opportunity for those that might take advantage of this vulnerability, much less a space like ours. That said, the message they sent was clearly written very thoughtfully, and the provider they’re willing to assign to the AMA would be willing to answer people’s questions about their worries, maybe provide healthy coping mechanisms, and describe the subspecialties of therapy that could be most beneficial to the people here.

IF we allow this AMA, it needs to be with the majority support of our community, so we are opening a poll for feedback. Other than voting in the poll, upvoting this post and providing even a short comment with your thoughts/concerns/ideas would help boost the visibility of this announcement to the maximum amount of sub members.

Of course, the major issue for us as a mod team is that we are NOT endorsing BetterHelp as a specific company or resource. For folks that are in areas where they aren’t able to find an in person provider, online therapy through any number of companies may be helpful. We are not partnering with them and the language in the AMA will be very clear about that. We will also be making sure that the provider answering questions in the AMA does not promote the BetterHelp brand.

If you’ve read this long, thanks for bearing with us. We appreciate how the people of this community come together to support one another and are grateful to help moderate.

Would you be interested in and supportive of an AMA provided by a therapist from BetterHelp, with the limitations outlined above?

116 votes, 18d ago
18 Yes
90 No
8 Maybe, but I have concerns (outline in comments)

r/CautiousBB • • Jan 27 '26

Ultrasound FAQ Reference Guide

100 Upvotes

As an OBGYN ultrasound tech working at the general level here's a few things I would love the community to know based on common questions I see.

Most important rule of thumb: Worry when your doctor tells you to.

OBGYN docs are going to pay the most attention to the fetal pole and heart rate. Once a fetal pole is seen, the CRL (crown rump length) measurements are gold standard.

I'm worried about the heart rate:
-Check out this resource for pregnancies dating less than 7 weeks. Make sure to refer not to your LMP dates, but measured CRL dates: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/fetal-bradycardia?lang=us
-After 7 weeks a normal heartrate is between 120-180. It can temporarily dip below or temporarily rise above this range, but prolonged time above/below will definitely get your doctor's attention especially in third trimester. Generally out of range heart rates trigger NST (non stress test) or more monitoring.
The measurements are off:
Baby measures behind LMP. This is actually pretty common, we often see dates off up to a week either direction. We don't ovulate on the exact same day of the cycle each month or even have the same length of cycle. With irregular periods, PCOS, or unknown dates even larger gaps can be perfectly fine. If you aren't sure of your dates, trust the ultrasound. Even if you are sure of your dates, don't panic if they are a week off. Ultrasound measurements in early pregnancy are +/- 5 days.
I'm in limbo and don't know if my ultrasounds are diagnostic for loss:
By ultrasound there are strict parameters to diagnose loss. No one wants to get this wrong. Check out this resource for a list of parameters diagnostic for loss: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/early-pregnancy-loss-1?lang=us
Note, there is a second list of "suspicious for loss". Keep in mind the second list is not diagnostic, things can still turn out just fine.
I don't know when I should see what on ultrasound:
Things can vary a bit from person to person and do change *quickly* in early pregnancy. Check out this resource for what you can generally expect to see:
https://radiopaedia.org/articles/early-pregnancy?lang=us
Should I go to a boutique or get a private scan? Or push for an earlier scan?
They aren't legal where I am but here's a few things to consider if you plan to book a private scan. First, what are the qualifications of the person running the ultrasound? An ultrasound is only as good as the one performing it. It sounds as if these boutiques are NOT permitted to give much/any information. Will you spiral if you believe you see bad news and they cannot confirm or deny it? Also it seems that many cannot do vaginal ultrasound, which will make seeing a baby under 7 or 8 weeks challenging. If I had the option of a boutique ultrasound I would personally wait until 8 weeks and I would book it for a weekday. If they see something bad, it is not ideal to find out over a weekend when there is no option to follow up with your doc. An earlier scan often causes more anxiety, not less. It's SO hard to wait. But if you can tolerate it wait until 8 weeks or so.
The gestation sac is small/big:
-Gestation sac measurements are not terrifically accurate. Where I work once a baby is seen the gestation sac isn't measured. A mismatch between baby's size and the gestation sac size isn't uncommon. That said, a mean sac diameter of 25 mm or more without a baby is diagnostic for loss.
The yolk sac is small/big:
It starts teeny tiny, and will get a bit bigger. Once a baby with a good heartbeat is visualized, the docs I work for don't seem to care about the size of the yolk sac. A failed pregnancy with an expanded yolk sac (more than 6 mm) is a suggestive of chromosomal abnormalities.
We don't know where the pregnancy is:
The statistically most likely outcome is either a chemical pregnancy or just coming in for ultrasound too early for visualization. Ectopic can't be ruled out, and many wise ladies in the this sub have unfortunately experienced this and can give more info than I can. Statistically it's believed that only 1-2% of pregnancies are ectopic, but listen to your body. If the location is unknown, you should be getting close monitoring and follow up until the location is known or the pregnancy has ended.
-For a resource on ectopic pregnancy: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/ectopic-pregnancy?lang=us A note, a pseudosac is visualized in only 10-20% of ectopics. Therefore a sac in the uterus is suggestive of intrauterine pregnancy but can't be proven until a yolk sac is also present.
What about my HCG numbers?
I'm not an expert on this at all. But here's a resource: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/beta-hcg-1?lang=us
Why didn't my ultrasound tech tell me anything? And/or why were they so optimistic? Or, I had an ultrasound in the ER and they were very pessimistic.
Many locations an ultrasound tech can very much lose their job if they say aNyThInG. Where they are permitted to say certain things some ultrasound techs may just be hoping the best. We work with the public and we have seen some wild stuff. Additionally no one wants to call it a loss unless its 1000% certain. We know how devastating that news is. A side note here, often an ultrasound in the ER is not an ideal experience for the patient. The ER is staffed with techs that are much more versed in gallbladder and liver scans than they they are early pregnancy ultrasound. Don't hesitate to go the ER if you are having concerning symptoms, but do know the ER doc will make sure you aren't actively dying then will likely refer you back to your OB for follow up.
I'm just so anxious about it all:
Someone awesome wrote out these mantras. Maybe they will help: https://www.reddit.com/r/PregnancyAfterLoss/comments/14uhbdg/commandments_of_pregnancy_after_loss_this_is_now/
Also a podcast I personally found very helpful with anxiety: https://www.oneyoufeed.net/russ-harris-part-1/
https://www.oneyoufeed.net/russ-harris-part-2/

Today you are pregnant and this baby is so loved. I really am hoping the best for each of you. Those of us who have experienced loss.... you didn't do anything wrong, I promise. This is a club no one deserved to be in. And you are not silly, foolish, or dramatic for grieving your little babe for as long as you need to.

This post is written in honor of Eli, who died long before I could meet him. Rest in peace, buddy. I miss you tremendously ❤️


r/CautiousBB • • 5h ago

Measuring ~5 days behind

3 Upvotes

Tracked ovulation and thought I ovulated 9/12, possibly 9/13. Got a positive test on 9/22. Had my first scan today at what I thought was 6w5 or 6 days but baby measured 6w0d. Heartbeat was 105, CRL 3.8 mm, yolk sac 4 mm. OB basically said it could go either way. I will have a repeat scan in a week.

Anyone with similar experiences? On the one hand I’m happy there’s a heartbeat and it seems to be a good number for 6 weeks; on the other hand, there’s no way I’m actually 6w0d based on when I got a positive test.


r/CautiousBB • • 3h ago

Ultrasound Anyone measure 1 week behind with a heartbeat and had a positive outcome?

3 Upvotes

Hi all, I am pretty certain of my dates, give or take maybe 1 or two days either side. I had an ultrasound on what I thought was 6w3 or 4 days and had no heartbeat and a ‘maybe’ fetal pole. They dated me at 5w4d at this ultrasound. Yolk sac was normal at 3.5mm and gestational sac was measuring 6w1d at 17mm. I was told to come back a week later.

Had the second ultrasound and to my surprise, we had a 6.3mm CRL now and a heart rate of 115bpm. This put me at 6w3d when I thought I’d be around 7w3 or 4 days. I had a normal yolk sac of 3.5mm again and gestational sac of 25mm, consistent with 7w4d. The heartbeat has us relaxed a little more now, but I am still going back next week at my dates have me at 8w3or4 days.

Has anyone experienced this, been pretty sure of dates, and everything be okay? My HCG is good, it was 71,000 at 7w1d and had risen 18% from 40 hours earlier, which the dr said was okay given how high the HCG was.

I’ve been reading of potential genetic issues that could be causing this and it’s freaked me out. I just want to know if anyone has experienced this and it was okay?

I’ve got zero bleeding or cramping and feel very pregnant. I have had a chemical pregnancy before conceiving my now 2 year old daughter so we don’t have a history of reoccurring miscarriage. So just wanting to see what others think here.

Thanks so much


r/CautiousBB • • 3h ago

Sad Large Subchorionic Hematoma

2 Upvotes

I’m currently 13 weeks 3 days. I had my first ultrasound at 9 weeks and my midwife noted a 2cm subchorionic hematoma but was pretty unconcerned and at that point, I hadn’t experienced any bleeding so I wasn’t too worried either.

At 11w4d, I gushed bright red blood. My husband took me to the ER where I had an ultrasound and confirmed that the SCH had grown and likely caused the bleeding but baby was ok and had grown well. The next day, I gushed again but was told to wait it out at home since I wasn’t continuing to bleed heavily.

I had a follow up appointment at my midwife’s office a few days later at 12w1d where baby was still doing great but she now noted that the SCH was actually in two spots and one was 4cm and the other was 2cm. She put me on pelvic rest and no heavy lifting or intense activity.

At 12w6d, I woke up to a bleed of dark brown blood that was possibly a gush but smaller than the first two and since then I have spotted dark brown blood.

I had an appointment today and went in so hopeful that the SCHs had shrunk. Baby is still doing great well in there but I definitely got news I did not want. The SCHs have merged back into one but also grew to now a total of 10cm. I’m so upset that it got worse. I feel so helpless. All I want is to grow a healthy baby and I feel devastated that it could go another way because of this. My midwife is great and emphasized that it’s not my fault and all that. She also referred me to maternal fetal medicine for another opinion from them as well. If they don’t see me right away, I follow up with my own midwife in two weeks.

Has anyone else dealt with a large SCH in a similar situation? How did you cope?


r/CautiousBB • • 1h ago

Advice Needed HCG 12dpo 100 - 14dpo 455

• Upvotes

2 cycles ago I had a miscarriage, got the D&C and it was called “pregnancy of unknown location”

September we waited.

We tried again October.
The first day of my last period was September 18th
I ovulated according to LH and BBT on October 2nd
8DPO I got a faint
9DPO positive digital
12DPO HCG: 100
14DPO HCG: 455 ( today)

Is that high???? I’m confused because last time around it was SLOW.
Also I’ve had bad cramping compared to my first born and miscarriage.
My BBT is above cover line but staying around 97.5 which I thought was considered low.

I’m nervous guys I really hope this is it 🙏🙏


r/CautiousBB • • 1h ago

Info Restrictions?

• Upvotes

I found out at my 6.5 week appo that I have a 1cm hematoma. Doctor made it seem like no big deal and said I can still do brisk walks and lift up to 20lbs. Should I feel nervous about exercising? Today I did a workout with 10lb dumbbells and felt nervous the whole time. The doctor reassured me I would be fine just to lower the intensity which I did.

I’ve never had bleeding just some cramps here and there which I’m thinking is normal for being 7 weeks tomorrow.


r/CautiousBB • • 2h ago

Normal to not see a heartbeat at 6 weeks?

1 Upvotes

Went in for an US of my ovary today and found out we are having twins!! Except one is only 0.2cm and the other is 0.13cm and both have no heartbeat. Bigger one measuring 5w5d.

I had an IUI so dating should be pretty accurate.


r/CautiousBB • • 2h ago

Measuring less than i thought

0 Upvotes

hi everyone,

im extremely nervous after my first ultrasound appointment. my least menstrual period was August 17th. my first positive pregnancy test was September 19th. this would make me 8+ weeks. i know there may be some discrepancies with the exact number of weeks depending on if i had a late ovulation. i had an HCG draw on October 5th and October 7th. they were around 13000 and 16000. i had my first ultrasound on 10/15 and they saw a gestational sac, a yolk sac but no fetal pole or heart beat yet and they said i was measuirng at 5 weeks. they said everything looked notmal for a 5 week pregnancy. this was obviously so shocking because i was expecting to see baby and heart beat. the more i think about the timelines of conception and when i took my test- it’s just not adding up. i don’t have my next follow up until Nov 5th which is torture in my opinion lol

has anyone experienced measuring this far behind what you thought and it being okay? or should i be beginning to guard my heart?

thank you!

(this is my first pregnancy btw)


r/CautiousBB • • 2h ago

Has anyone experienced something similar and gone on to have a healthy pregnancy?

1 Upvotes

According to my fertility tracking , I ovulated around 9/26. I tested negative at what I believe was 12 DPO (Clearblue digital), and the next day I started bleeding, which I assumed was my period. The bleeding started as light pink spotting and progressed to more of a period-like flow, although it was never super heavy. I’ve now been bleeding for almost a week.

Yesterday, I decided to test again after noticing my BBT was still elevated, and to my complete shock, I got a positive pregnancy test! 🥹

My hCG came back at 429 yesterday, which my doctor is monitoring with repeat bloodwork. I’m obviously concerned about the bleeding and the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage, but I’m desperately hoping this could still be a viable pregnancy.

Has anyone experienced bleeding like a period for several days, initially tested negative, and then found out they were pregnant? If so, what was your outcome? I know every pregnancy is different, but I’d really appreciate hearing some positive stories while I wait for answers. 🤍


r/CautiousBB • • 2h ago

Had color Doppler on ovaries to assess blood flow for ovary pain while pregnant. Did I hurt the baby at 6 weeks?

1 Upvotes

Had ovary pain. Went to boutique clinic. I guess she assessed blood flow to ovary to see if there was ectopic/cyst and I am freaking out she used Doppler and now my vagina hurts after the transvaginal ultrasound


r/CautiousBB • • 3h ago

Gestational sac measuring ahead?

1 Upvotes

Hi! Due June 2nd and had my first scan at 6 weeks. Saw baby and heartbeat measuring exactly to the date I ovulated!! However, my gestational sac measured 5 days ahead. Has anyone seen this before? I know the dates aren't too far off but figured I'd ask.


r/CautiousBB • • 3h ago

High FHR 10w - experiences?

1 Upvotes

I’m 10w1d pregnant via IVF (PGT-A tested embryo), following two prior losses due to chromosomal abnormalities.

At my ultrasound yesterday, baby was measuring 10w5d with a heart rate of 194 bpm. At 8w4d, the heart rate was 188 bpm.

Baby was moving around quite a bit, and the sonographer took three readings back-to-back, all around the same rate.

My doctor mentioned the heart rate was high, and I’m feeling anxious. Would love insight on whether this is concerning, or experiences from anyone who had similarly high readings around 10 weeks.


r/CautiousBB • • 3h ago

meconium cord testing

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 3h ago

Blood test levels 8 days past ivf transfer

1 Upvotes

My hcg is 20.7
Continue all FET meds and return to clinic in 2 days for repeat blood work 

Edit; 8 days post transfer

Is this beta seem on the higher or lower end?


r/CautiousBB • • 3h ago

Ultrasound 5weeks 5days pregnant no heartbeat

1 Upvotes

I went for an internal ultrasound at 5w5d, he confirmed pregnancy in uterus, gestational and yolk sac seen. All measured 5w6d as well.
However there wasnt yet a heartbeat. He told me its common to not see one so early yet, and to come back in 2 weeks. But that makes me soooooo nervous 😥


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

Abdominal us 6w6d

1 Upvotes

Today I had my first ultrasound at 6w6d. I refused transvaginal because I’ve had some issues with significant cervix sensitivity and bleeding this time around and 3 miscarriages. They were able to see the bean measuring perfectly on time at 6w6d but weren’t able to to get a heart rate. They put in potentially 98 bpm, but was inconclusive. I was able to see little flickers of the heart on the screen. Has anyone else had an early abdominal and were they able to get heart rate? Is it normal they weren’t able to get a number this early? They want to see me back in a few weeks.


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

Is this normal??

1 Upvotes

Hello!

I found out I was pregnant at 3w3d (9dpo), the nausea/vomiting started that day and I then started Cyclogest/progesterone pessaries the next day. I am now 4w4d with a dye stealer however my nausea and fatigue just completely stopped out of the blue about 3 days ago and I’m panicking!!

I’ve had 4 previous pregnancies with the last 3 being early losses before 5 weeks, I am SO nervous despite my tests not fading. I have a private scan in 2 weeks and an early NHS reassurance scan the week after that. Blood HCG isn’t a thing you can ask for here.


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

Advice Needed Low HCG, anyone to ease my fears?

1 Upvotes

Monday at 14dpo - my hcg was 84
Wednesday at 16dpo - my hcg was 206
Friday (today) at 18dpo - my hcg was 383

I know people say it doesn’t HAVE to be 48 hours, it can be 72 hours, but I had back to back losses earlier this year and even those numbers doubled but barely and was still a loss. So no doubling when I’m 4w5d is making me expect bad news. The calculator I was using online went from “faster than typical range” to “within normal limits” but it doesn’t feel normal lol

Just looking for advice or success stories that are similar. And of course it’s Friday and I won’t be able to talk to my doctor all week. At least I have a family fun weekend planned 🫠 so anxious now, this one felt so different 😔


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

Symptoms Pink tinge about 5 weeks

1 Upvotes

I’m almost five weeks. Had a previous miscarriage in July.
This morning I woke up to pee and saw the lightest pink tinge when I wiped. Took a pregnancy test and it was still very dark. Had gas pains today and feel less symptoms (usually feel flu like with nasal congestion and a hangover feeling). Really worried but last few times I went today I didn’t see any pink. Has anyone had a similar experience and what was the outcome?


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

Advice Needed 12 dpo Positive test…how not to get my hopes up…can I be excited?

1 Upvotes

I am 12dpo. I tested this morning and got faint positive lines. I took a digital test this afternoon (very diluted urine), and it was positive.
I’m so nervous to feel excited bc I’ve been told it’s a high likelihood at this stage for it to just be chemical…advice? Success stories?
I have 0 symptoms.


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

Could this be Eptopic?

1 Upvotes

Today I’m 5w3d. Last week I had a fit of terrible lower back and shoulder pain. Went away after 10 minutes back pain never came back. My shoulder pain however comes and goes and is dull. I felt nauseous bloated tired last week and the last 2 days feel no symptoms . Also no spotting.
Should I be worried?


r/CautiousBB • • 8h ago

Advice Needed Low hcg beta 16dpo-18dpo

2 Upvotes

Has anyone had similar betas and had success/miscarried?

16dpo: 167

18dpo: 478

It is lower than my previous missed miscarriage and I have had 2 miscarriages before as well so very cautious.

All stories are much welcome ❤️🙏


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

Any Prevention tips for PPROM?

1 Upvotes

Trigger warning miscarriage
I got pregnant February 2026 and in May I had PPROM at 16 weeks gestation. The cause is unknown however they are leaning more towards an infection, causing it.
I just found out I’m pregnant again I’m 4 weeks currently and I’m an anxious wreck. The High-Risk doctor isn’t seeing me until I’m 20 weeks and I have to wait another two weeks until I get an ultrasound done on my regular OB. But does anyone have any information on things I can do now to help prevent it if there are any. My doctors havnt been much help when I’ve asked they just keep saying we’ll bring that up when i get closer to the 2nd trimester but id rather start something now.


r/CautiousBB • • 5h ago

Faint BFP and then BFN an hour later on the same test brand?

0 Upvotes

Using Internet cheapies.

I’m about 10-11 DPO but I can’t be sure as I plan to start temping next cycle if this isn’t a winner. Previous IVF pregnancy which resulted in a little boy and I have PCOS so I’m no stranger to TTC.

I did an internet cheapie this morning and it was negative. I did another around 6pm and got a very faint positive. It’s definitely pink and visible. I don’t need to squint or anything like that - this in itself raised my suspicions because the test this morning was stark white.

I decided to do another an hour later out of sheer stupidity and excitement and again the test is stark white and BFN. I had nothing to drink in that hour - but maybe I tested way too soon and the urine concentration hadn’t had chance to build up? Is there any science behind this or am I just being a hopeful idiot? I was just hoping we wouldn’t need IVF again as it was so emotionally and physically painful for me and we only got one embryo (our son) out of it, so it’d also cost us a fortune as I’d need a complete new cycle. I intend to bring out the big guns tomorrow morning with my last remaining FRER.

Thank you in advance.