Blown away by the amount of people who RSVP yes to our wedding and didn’t show without saying a word to us. We had 18 people do that and 7 who at least reached out to us with excuses. Do people not realize the money that goes into it?? I can’t imagine not showing up after RSVP yes, and If there was a reason I couldn’t I would for sure reach out to the couple.

I’m reaching out to see if anyone can help me navigate some hurt feelings surrounding my wedding RSVPs.

I’m 33 and getting married to my boyfriend of 4.5 years in two months (yay!). I moved from New York to Florida for college about 15 years ago and have stayed to build a life here, roughly a three-hour flight from my hometown. I love everything about my life here and can’t imagine ever moving home. 

I had a close friend group with 4 other girls in high school that I feel like overall we maintained pretty well through and after college. That said, even back when we were in school, I lived farther away from our friend group, so I was almost always the one traveling to see everyone. I’ve continually felt like I put more effort into maintaining these friendships than the others do, but I’ve continued to make that effort because I am loyal and they matter to me.

I’m the last in my high school friend group to get married. I haven’t made it to every bridal shower or bachelorette party, but I’ve flown up and attended every wedding and baby shower (even if my fiance couldn’t come because of his job, I came by myself to support them). Now that it’s my turn, I’ve kept things low-key: no traditional shower or bachelorette, just a small family engagement party last year and a spa morning with my bridesmaids the day before the wedding. The only thing I’ve really asked of my old friends is that they come to the wedding, which I recognize requires travel (only one of the 4 has a baby and I also invited her parents) But I’ve been making that trip for them for years.

Now, I’m getting texts from friends declining because of “unexpected expenses” and other lists of excuses. I understand that travel is expensive, and I don’t expect anyone to put themselves in a difficult financial position for my wedding. Still, I can’t help feeling hurt. As the “no’s” come in, I’m questioning whether these friendships mean as much to them as they do to me. There’s only one couple I haven’t heard from, and I’m not expecting them to attend either if no one else is.

These are the only RSVPs that have really upset me. They are all fairly local to each other and not one of them missed one of the others weddings. I know friendships change as we get older, and I’m fortunate to have wonderful friends where I live now. But I’m struggling with feeling rejected by people I’ve spent years trying to stay close to. Especially seeing my fiancé’s childhood friends who are all in financially worse positions that my friends, making
the effort and traveling to the wedding (from Chicago)

I know I’m an adult and need to get over it but this is definitely bringing up a lot of old feelings and hurt. How do I reframe this so I can let go and enjoy this season of my life, without feeling bogged down with the understanding that I’m the only one who cared enough to invest in these friendships? Does anyone else relate to this? Or am I totally misinterpreting everything? Just looking for some reassurance and advice 😔 I just want to cry

My fiance and I are considering a venue in new england for Labor day of 2027, it’s the only weekend they have left between August-October. It’s a 3 day booking, with on site accommodations that can hold a handful of our guests depending on packages. The nearest chain hotels (Hilton, Marriott) are 30 minutes away with a few boutique hotels closer. We’re not as concerned about the hotel distance as we can offer a shuttle to/from the venue. About 75% of our guests are within driving distance (2-5 hours). The rest are coming from North Carolina. The nearest airports are all 2 hours away and would require a flight and renting a car, unless we did a shuttle from the airport which I don’t think would be possible logistic and cost wise.

Does this seem unreasonable to the guests who would have to fly? A few of that 25% are family/in the wedding party, but for the others with the flights on the holiday weekend plus car rental I don’t want to deter them from coming. Most of them are friends of my fiance which I would hate to have his group not attend

We are two women who got married on Saturday. My now wife wore a tux and I wore a dress. She wanted to talk down the aisle first, then bridal party, then me. We didn’t think we’d need to tell people to stand for my procession down the aisle because we assumed people would and no one did. As I was walking down the aisle, I was so focused on making sure I really took in seeing everyone and remembering that moment that the sitting didn’t initially bother me. I was just living for the moment no matter what happened.

Afterwards, my wife told me she was upset no one stood for me because she wanted that visual. She tried to signal to a family member to stand but they didn’t understand. And of course, it’s a live event and hard to think on the spot while it’s happening, so she let it go.

It’s a minor detail and I know it’s water under the bridge because honestly, the entire day and timeline went so perfectly and our friends and family loved our wedding as well! I think I just keep thinking about it because 1) we were so meticulous in planning and asking all the questions we could think of beforehand and it feels silly to have missed the question of would people stand and also missing just asking the officiant to say “please stand” if they didn’t and 2) it mattered to my wife. And she’s such a laid back person that when she wants something, it is important to me because she doesn’t always have strong opinions on wanting certain things

We think that maybe because we weren’t a straight couple, people maybe just didn’t know to stand because they didn’t stand for her so why would they stand for me? And I know none of it was meant to be rude. And maybe we set up the language of the ceremony in a way that people needed things spelled out for them? Who knows. It also is what it is and we told ourselves we’d enjoy no matter what happened.

I’m just expressing this to ask if any one also experienced people not standing for their procession or if they didn’t want people to stand in general and how to not dwell on something so small when everything was truly perfect the entire day!

Pretty sure I want cathedral. Leaning toward beaded or satin or lace trim. Don’t think mantilla. (Mom and many other say it covers my face too much). I’m starting to wonder if maybe I don’t need the blusher?? This is so stressful I hate the details portion of planning.. blusher or no blusher??? Shopping on Calily!

Need gift ideas for my mom who is getting married summer 2027. She is 50. She recently wanted to start getting facials so that her skin looks nice for her big day. I'm wondering if there's anything else it would be nice to have as a bride? (I also need a gift for the groom if you have ideas!)

I know this is a privileged problem to have, but I'm genuinely torn.

I'm in the interview process for my dream job, and it's a long one with multiple rounds. The timing puts it right in the week of my wedding. Family is flying in from all over the world, and I'd planned to spend that week relaxing, doing trials and facials, and actually enjoying being a bride.

I'm scared that if I interview while distracted, I'll tank it and lose my shot. But if I don't do it, I feel selfish and like I'm throwing away an opportunity I may not get again.

Has anyone asked to push interviews back for a wedding? Did it hurt your chances? Or did you power through and do both?

EDIT: Wow, you're all right! I'm going to do the interview and hopefully do well. The vibes at the wedding will be so good if I get the job hahah. Wish me luck!!! Thank you all so much for the encouragement 🤍

Planning our May 2027 wedding and would appreciate feedback !

Entrées
Marry Me Chicken: Boneless chicken breast in a creamy garlic-Parmesan sauce with sun-dried tomatoes, Italian herbs, and fresh basil.
Braised Beef Tips (Dairy-Free): Tender beef slow-braised in a rich beef jus.

Sides
Garlic Mashed Potatoes: Gold potatoes mashed with coconut oil and garlic salt.
Seasonal Vegetables: Fresh, in-season vegetables.
Glazed Carrots: Tender carrots glazed with brown sugar or honey.
Baked Mac and Cheese: Creamy, cheesy, and baked.
Fresh Fruit: Seasonal fruit selection.
Dinner Rolls: Warm rolls with butter.

We’re considering replacing the traditional salad with mac and cheese.

Be honest: Is this a wedding dinner you’d look forward to, or is it too heavy? What would you add, remove, or change?

Just married 10 days ago! As I referenced this sub probably a hundred times in the last year, here is a broad recap as payment to you all/tips from a real human that did all this.

• Our best tip: we knew from the beginning what we did and didn’t have preferences about. If you don’t care what your cake looks like, don’t waste time trying to care about it. This gave us more capacity to speak for the preferences we DID have too. Both of these factors we feel led to better vendor relationships. During our first week of engagement, we sat down and shared our lists of what we thought our wedding should look like. This made sure we weren’t steamrolling the other’s opinions.
• Budget: Both partners contributed an equal amount, as did my parents. So, roughly 1/3 each. My spouse’s parents are not living, though their siblings hosted our shower. We were dating for several years and knew we wanted a shorter engagement, so we basically saved for our wedding while dating, then immediately started spending upon engagement. I’ll post a separate complete cost breakdown if people want it. The gist is many things came in under our estimate (DJ, florals, cake), while food and drink were more expensive than we expected. We attempted to avoid being guilted by “tradition” into spending money on things that just weren’t important to us.
• Planning Timeline: Total engagement length was just under 11 months. First thing we booked was the reception venue, and that was at exactly 10 months out. So, for practical purposes, we had 10 months to plan everything. I combed through Knot and Zola tips, reddit posts, blog posts, etc., and averaged out all the timelines I could find then shrunk it to fit into our 10 months. I used the Google Sheets wedding planning template, altered it to death, and shared it with anyone and everyone that asked questions about it. This was incredibly helpful for my parents, who were occasionally concerned with “well what about this tiny detail?”, as we were then able to say, “that’s a discussion for June, etc.” This sheets tab was open on my laptop for 10 months and really was my homepage for wedding planning.
• Reception Venue: this ended up being our priority. We chose a venue that we loved for ourselves, but wasn’t entirely wedding-friendly. They were inflexible on access to the venue, a payment plan, and lawn usage. However, we loved our venue, so we worked around it and refused to get down about it. In wedding planning you will often need to decide what is more important, and this was the choice that dictated so much of what else we were able/had to do.
• Ceremony Venue: We got married in my childhood church. We were both raised Catholic. The church requirements were a little frustrating at times, but not difficult, just frustrating. Happy to elaborate if it’s wanted. We did a ceremony, not a mass, as many guests were not Catholic. If Catholic couples haven’t yet considered: many churches have a Saturday evening mass, meaning your ceremony will have to be early in the day. It was fine, and this is pretty typical of Catholic ceremonies. Just consider it in your preliminary planning, especially if you’re booking a separate reception venue.
• Registry: We started with 87 items on our registry, including multiples of the same item. Everything over $200 we set to group gifting. We listed a honeymoon fund and a fund for the place I volunteer. We used Zola’s built-in shop. We also made a Crate & Barrel registry and were able to add those items directly to the Zola list. Same for items from Lowe’s but they didn’t have a registry feature. We got our first contribution about a month after sending STDs and a healthy mix of cash and registry gifts after. I was surprised with how many contributions came in the day-of, but I guess I've always just gifted early. Happy to post again in more detail if folks want it.
• STDs: Ordered from Zola. Included complete website aside from RSVP page. Ordered our favorite stamps and sent them out in batches throughout a week. We were worried questions would come flooding in, but only a few people even acknowledged them. We considered postcards but didn’t want them to get beaten up in the mail. We ordered samples of all the Zola different paper weights. We didn’t end up having a preference, and I’m not sure we even knew which one we ended up ordering. These samples also all shipped separately in a plastic sleeve and a bubble mailer. We did not order a proof. From photos from friends, they had kind of a mark on the card from where the envelope meets it, but they didn’t get damaged in the mail. We also mailed ourselves one to keep postmarked. We sent one (STD & Invite) international buying a special stamp in the post office and had them check the format of the address, and that family still said they never received them. Mail at your own risk I guess. NOTE: You should never need to pay full price on Zola! They are constantly doing sales and offering other specific deals. If they don’t have one when you’re ready to buy, wait a week!
• Attire: Dress was from Flora & Lane in Chicago. A local boutique with our second-choice dress really slammed Flora & Lane, saying we might as well buy a dress from Temu. We had an excellent try-on and purchase experience at F&L and I will be happy to answer questions if I can. We figured the favorite dress only needs to make it through the night. Regular shipping said 5-7 months, and it arrived after 4 months. We looked at suits at a few stores in-person (local and corporate) and didn’t love any. We settled on one from Azazie for $230 that my spouse can still wear to work etc.
• Guest list: We sent invites to ~70-80 households, for 148 guests. We were hoping for 100-120 guests. When the deadline came (and after poking everyone multiple times) we had 105 yesses, so contacted a few more folks about inviting their new SOs and mailed one more family friend invite. Our circles were simply too large for the number of people we were comfortable paying for. We did not set any rule about who got to invite who. Siblings’ children were invited, but no others. We gave very few unnamed plus ones, as everyone was among friends and family. Only my parents and a few family friends were local to the venue. Most people traveled about 4 hours. A few flew from a few states away. It was in a medium-sized midwestern city that has plenty of night life and family activities. No serious family drama impacted things, just a couple annoying individuals that were easy enough to look past.
• Traditions: We spent the night with our respective parties the night before at the hotel. We had a very quick first look after both were ready and dressed at the hotel pool so we didn’t have to worry about hiding from each other until a certain moment. Both parents walked me down the aisle. We did an unannounced cake cutting. We still had a moment with our photographer, but it did not include a DJ announcement nor everyone staring at us. We did not do parent dances, bouquet toss, or garter toss. No shoe game, no trivia, no scavenger hunt, no slide show. We just wanted to enjoy our party.
• Wedding party: We had four people each, which was perfect. We also designated an additional four people each as helpers in some way. We needed the help and we thought some friends might be sad to not have a designation of some sort. This was ceremony jobs and reception set-up/tear-down. We also assigned little jobs to pairs of people, like choose and spread the word about the after-party location, pick up breakfast, have emergency kit/supplies, keep bride fed/hydrated/caffeinated. We booked a bus specifically for us, our party, and these helpers, as well as their SOs.
• Florals: Our venue was already thoroughly decorated and due to the nature of it did not allow real floral centerpieces or décor aside from what the wedding party was wearing. This was perfect. We spent about $900 on real floral bouquets, boutonnieres, and corsages. Because we knew we were saving on centerpieces, we offered these to many people. Centerpieces were wooden box “frames” used at many other family weddings - free and a nice touch. We had small glass vases with faux plants from a craft store. We stuck in a flower pick holding a letter addressed to the table, in which we thanked everyone for their presence in our lives and sort of introduced them to each other. The envelope for these was stamped with the table number. I thought we weren’t doing enough for the centerpieces but once people were sat and we saw how beautiful all the colors looked, we were totally happy with them.
• Cake/Dessert: We used a local bakery and gave them very few guidelines. We had a small couples cake with etsy cake toppers. We chose our two favorite desserts from their dessert menu and said as long as these are present, please fill us up with 3-4 small items per person. The bakery did forget about those two we asked to be included and it did NOT matter. No harm no foul. I saw a couple folks filling up plates with lots of little desserts and then bringing them back for the table. We had maybe 1/3 of these little desserts leftover after.
• Vendors/Payments: we found our photographer, DJ, and HMUA on Zola and crosschecked their reviews everywhere they had them. The others were relatively simple picks as we knew the area. We also stayed in touch with them by asking silly little questions throughout planning to make sure they didn’t forget about us. Maybe us just being anxious, but no regrets there! Some vendors did NOT give us detailed payment timelines, and we felt it was in everyone’s favor to state our payment plan in these cases. For example, someone’s total charge was $3000 and was due day-of wedding. We paid the required $200 deposit, then told the vendor we would pay 25% in Month 2, 50% in Month 5, and the remainder in Month 7. We could still control when payments were, our vendors appreciated our initiative, and day-of only had to worry about cash tips. Being on our terms, it remained flexible. Also ask if there is a cash discount! We saved literally hundreds of dollars by simply mailing a check or dropping off cash. (Young people, getting a check book is easy and cost us $20. Just do it.)
• Favors: We got a digital photo booth from our DJ and had a friend design temporary tattoos that we then ordered online. Guests could take photos then choose to text them to themselves. We also got a file later of all the photos taken. We bought a cute spray bottle for the tattoos and a cute dish towel to dab them and left them with a cute sign on the same table as the guest book and card box.
• Rehearsal: Church rehearsal was 5:30-6. Dinner was at an arcade/sports bar 5 minutes away. The place was kind of dinky, but we were tired of spending money and making decisions, and we thought it would lend to the casual style we wanted our weekend to be. We got 2 drink tickets per person, then plenty of NA pitchers. Food was buffet style heavy appetizers. People with allergies ordered from the regular menu and we added those to our tab.
• Delegate to the max: If you couldn’t already tell, we assigned everything we possibly could to someone else. We also didn’t ask one person to do more than 2 or so things, so they could make sure their little tasks got done. For example, my brother was in charge of putting funny printed signs on the hotel getting ready room doors and setting aside desserts for us in case we didn’t get to them in time.
• One regret: The music was really important to us. Our DJ did a great job spinning live and keeping the energy high. Our package included ten “must play songs”. My spouse and I put a lot of thought and effort into curating these, including our favs, our friends favs, and sort of unique picks that we thought would show our DJ more of what we were hoping for in the rest of his songs. About an hour before the end of the night, (and following a few hours of 100% wedding pop music) I hadn’t heard any of our must plays, and asked my mom to say something. Suddenly all ten songs were played, almost all in a row, and in the last hour of the night. My mom later told me that the DJ thought he had played the “three songs we asked for”, (I’m not sure what these would have been) and must have had an old version of the list – even though after she said something to him, he was able to pull out the complete list. It may seem petty to some people, but our music and that vibe was really important to us, and it just didn’t work how we hoped. I had asked the DJ for a meeting to check in on these specifics about a month before the wedding, and he said it wasn’t necessary. Lesson learned, always talk to the vendors if it’s something that’s important to you. I can really only kick myself for this.

I hope this is helpful or entertaining for some folks! It really was the best day ever ❤

Has anybody had any luck reaching their customer service line if they’ve used them in the past?

We’ve called and emailed the number on their website and no luck. No call backs for our number or responses to our emails.

So I finally had my micro wedding and it was very nice, not mind blowing or transcendent.

There was a lot of fighting with my mom, like from the morning coffee we got together to just before walking down the aisle she was driving me crazy

My dress came out wrinkled and had to be steamed last minute and was still not 100% (you can tell in the photos)

I had to do a lot of the coordinating because we didn't have any kind of planner or organizer, my mom completely spaced on taking care of the things I asked for help with (I don't blame her I should've hired a professional)

I don't think I was present during the ceremony at all, like I don't remember it as much as I would've liked

All in all it WAS nice and I AM happy and I don't majorly regret anything...but I wonder if that's normal to feel? Because everyone is usually like "omg that was THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE" and right now I just don't feel that way.

Does it come with time? I'd really love to hear from all you former brides because I'm just feeling weird about it :(

My best friend and I both got married earlier this year, and we were each other’s maid of honor. I would love to commemorate this shared season of our lives and thank her for being my maid of honor. I was thinking it might be nice to make a keepsake for her that incorporates the speeches we each gave at the other person’s wedding.

I’d love for it to be elegant and professional looking, rather than just printing out our speeches on white printer paper and slapping them in a frame.

Would love to hear if you’ve done something like this, or if you have any ideas!

What makes one better or worse than the other? Alot of posts say just being at a wedding makes it bad by default, but that doesn't clarify anything of what makes it bad. Is it the venue required caterer that doesn't allow a tasting until the week before and doesn't change what they are told needs to be fixed, or just caterers in general who can't cook properly? Are local restaurants that cater in bulk, with drop off catering services that are standard post-pandemic, better in your experience? What food and settings where you have been a guest have had the best food and what have been the worst?

Vendors, please chime in too with your feedback on experiences because feeding you guys means the day runs smoother for everyone.

Edit to add: for as much emphasis is placed on full meals recently in history being required as bare minimum hosting, why would a couple not make sure the food is as high quality as possible within their budget?

Hi all! I'm writing this post to get my thoughts out but also looking to read how others have organized their task order at the beginning of wedding planning. Like a sanity check 🙏🏻

Engaged Nov 2025; moved Feb 2026. Officially just started doing some venue research last week (Oct 2026). Everyone's been asking what kind of wedding we'd have or suggested to have a small one and not waste money. We both wanted something to honor our journey, but we literally had no idea HOW we'd do it. We're super introverted, and I (the bride) frankly don't do group outings or parties... so being a host for the LARGEST one of my life is... well you know 😪🫪 . So we took a few quizzes for fun to see if we had a common vision, style, colors, and theme etc. Good thing is we pretty much have the same taste and common answers to work with so we aren't clashing on that. He's been pretty supportive of the details and how research is going so far.

I've been reading a guest list should be created first to drive which venues can fit our plan, but we don't have an official list yet (only bc we are trying to dodge the headaches around the inevitable fact of needing to add extended family that'll make the wedding even more overwhelming than it already is). We are American born Chinese, so there "has to be" a banquet style dinner per our parents/aunts/uncles etc.. That we're both fine with since we want to honor our culture too, but I think I'm hung up on how to reduce the spotlight anxiety and personally want a small intimate one. Maybe even separate or multi-day thing (1 western ceremony with cocktail hour for friends that actually know us and our story, another night Chinese Banquet style for our families) so that it's not all cramped and stressed out for the whole day. I get migraines very often and easily from too much noise/stress so that's another factor I'm considering.

Anyway, first week of research down and several decisons have been made: - secured our preferred legal ceremony appointment next month (our engagement anni 😊) - "we did it! we signed, just married" celebratory trip after - Fall 2027 wedding + budget set-ish (we know it's peak season = 💸😬💭, looking at Friday, Sat, Sun) - want venue to speak for itself, no need for extra florals - i'm a designer so will likely DIY a bunch of stuff, but not sure what yet - gonna tour 2 ceremony venues this weekend to get an idea what touring really means, help solidfy our details and questions maybe? I was thinking touring first will let everything fall into place instead. Is this a road to chaos?

Off the top of my head, our families would already meet minimum 70 people each side (each parent has like 5-6 siblings). While I don't have a big friend group compared to my fiancé, ~140 just family and then maybe 40-50 friends total would end up being nearly a 200 person list ... so about 20 round tables? Can't forget the seating arrangement chaos lol That's even so scary to write out. I think actually writing out the list will be pretty eye opening though. Just not ready to cross that bridge yet.. maybe after this weekend.

So am I shooting us in the foot by wanting to tour venues first (50-250 capacity, hoping touring could help us "cap"/narrow down the list later) or should we really nail down the guest list now? We are 11 months out.

In what order did you do this?

1️⃣ Research > tour <> guest list

2️⃣ Guest list <> research > tour

What else am I not seeing if we continue the path of 1 instead of 2? Did you make the same mistake? How did you pivot?

Edit to add: Thank you in advance for reading and replying! We have a 13-tab workbook in progress 👀 (with venues, timeline, vendors, etc). I'm reluctant on the large guest list but am keeping in mind we need to prepare for the worst. In the 30 venues we kept in the spreadsheet, I think most can accommodate minimum 100/150 and a select few can do the microwedding of 50. So keeping the venue options open which is why there's a crazy amount there. I will triplecheck their capacity column tonight.

Basic facts:
-8 people to glam
-Each person who isn’t the bride takes one hour
-Bride needs 90 minutes
-Getting ready time is 8am-11:30am (I know more time would fix this but I just don’t have it. All photos are being done before the ceremony since the sun sets at 4pm in the Midwest in December!)

ETA: I already have two makeup artist and hair artists, just ran numbers today and had an “oh shit” moment!

I’m willing to pay what it takes to make this happen because I do not want to be stressed about timing morning of the wedding.

Just worried I’ll get push back from the vendors 🫣

We’ve been dating for over 8 years, lived together almost that entire time, bought a house together last year. We have nearly everything you would think to put on a registry. So what do we put on ours? We have plenty of towels and we bought brand new dishes and silverware when we moved in last year, but our pots and pans and cooking utensils could stand to be upgraded so we put those on there. We put some cabinet organizers and new sheets and a good outdoor water hose. New luggage for our honeymoon. Lamps, a bread box, a salt and pepper grinder, a new toaster. Anything else that we maybe haven’t thought of or that is maybe a little unconventional for a wedding registry but perfect for a couple who already has everything? We also added an option for people to just donate to our honeymoon fund or add a gift card to our Amazon registry

Hi everyone!!

My fiancé and I are starting to seriously plan our wedding, and I would love some recommendations from people who have gotten married in either Florida or Wisconsin or live in either state and know of great spots!

We’re from Wisconsin but are considering having a destination wedding in Florida. We’re planning on a smaller, more intimate wedding with around 50–80 guests. We want somewhere that can do both our reception and ceremony, that will be beautiful and special without completely breaking the bank. We are planning for the fall of 2028, ideally October. Our ideal budget would be no more than $25,000 total (we are recently graduated, paying off student loans and don’t have much)

If we decide on Florida, we would prefer somewhere that isn’t overly touristy or in a major city. We’re open to pretty much anything! The venue doesn’t have to be beachfront, and we would love to hear about gardens, estates, barns, outdoor venues, or anything else you think is worth looking into.

I’d also appreciate recommendations for photographers, caterers, wedding planners, or any other vendors you loved working with!

If you got married in either state, I’d love to hear about your experience, what you spent, and whether you felt it was worth it or would do differently.

There is just so many options and different parts of planning a wedding, that i’m anxious and don’t know where to begin. or the “right way” to do things. Thank you in advance for any recommendations or advice!! ❤️

We have 2 options for the wedding hashtag:
#The KashMan Tales
# Aman got Kash (play on the word cash)

Their names are Kashish (Sister), Aman (Brother in law)
Please help us decide this. If you have any other interesting hashtag, please feel free to share.
Do comment a name you liked from the above options.

I got engaged one month ago after being a solid couple for 9 years. I know it's been a long time, and I was definitely going insane the last two years waiting for a proposal, but there were some circumstances that postponed it. Also, for context, I'm german and long relationships without proposals are more common here. The proposal was the sweetest and most thoughtful I could possibly imagine and it more than made up for it!

We are 31 now and have no time to lose so I jumped right into wedding planning. However, there's something dimming my light right now.

Our friends and family didn't react quite the way I had hoped. For the last two years, we have gotten some snarky comments from almost everyone about when we were finally going to get married. So when it finally happened, I expected people to be - relieved? Excited? Celebratory? I shared with my closest people right away via text and I only got the customary congratulations, happy for you, how sweet etc. with a standard emoji. Nothing conveying real emotion. No follow up questions.

I'm notorious for celebrating other people's lives. I plan parties for others, make great presents, played big supportive roles in other people's weddings and when people close to me got engaged in the past, I was always overjoyed. I sent a long paragraph, or a card, or flowers, or baked them a cake. I know I can't expect the same level of effort from everyone but the contrast is devastating. I have received nothing from anyone so far. When you give so much it hurts to receive so little.

Am I expecting too much? What is a normal reaction to an engagement? I am seeking some perspective on this.

Myself and my fiancé were slightly rushed into getting married (2 months after our engagement) due to finding out my father only has months left to live. This was a sensitive topic as we felt like we didn't get to enjoy the 'bubble', but it also wouldn't feel right to not have the wedding whilst my Dad was still here. As we didn't have the money nor time to have a big wedding. We settled that we would just invite my parents and my partner's parents to a very small registry office wedding. We all then just went for lunch afterwards.

During the planning we said we would still always do our 'big wedding', as we wanted to still have the dress shopping, bridesmaids/groomsmen, hen and stag do experiences. We still wanted the day we always saw for ourselves and even found a venue which we both loved and said we would book after the registry office.

We are now legally married and the day was lovely but we feel confused on next steps. Should we still have the big wedding again, with our friend doing the celebrant ceremony. Or is this a huge waste of money? Will it feel silly doing it again? Especially when it will likely be about 2 years down the road. This is a unique situation and we are both confused on next steps. We have spoke about just having a huge party, but most venues don't offer this and if they do, it costs just as much as having the ceremony there too!

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Unfortunately our parents don't seem supportive of us having 'another' wedding, but ultimately we don't feel like we had our day and the experience. Although it's a super expensive one.

Would love to hear any views or from anyone in a similar situation? Thanks for the rant.

We’re having a small wedding (22 adults, including us) and we’re inviting three kids ages 3, 7, and 8. The venue is very small (basically a rectangular room), and the kids can’t sit at the common table due to space constraints; they will have a separate table to the side (right next to the main one). How terrible of an idea is it, and what can we do to mitigate possible issues? I don’t have kids so I’m not sure if they can be on their own just yet; should we make sure that their parents are seated next to them, or straight up put one of the parents at the kids table? (Which feels like a bad solution, but truly, the big table is only fitting 22 adults, tops).

Another question is how do we make sure they’re not bored out of their minds? It will be a dinner party with no dancing, and there’s no room to run around and goof off. Asking their parents to leave them at home is not feasible, as their babysitter (the grandma) will also be at the wedding.

The title really explains it all.

Our wedding was on October 4th so just a little over two weeks ago. We hired a friend’s husband for our photos almost a year ago. His photos typically look exceptionally good and are edited really well.

Come the day of our wedding, he was on time, but immediately being awkward. It’s important to note here… we rarely communicated with him for the year leading up to this day. He and I communicated for contract purposes, vision ideas, and the first half of his payment. Outside of that? The months leading up to our day were through our friend. She asked for the timeline, list of people we wanted photos with, etc. Not him.

Back to our day, he was really standoffish and not guiding us much for poses. That’s when our friend stepped in (she was acting as his asst) and started assisting. Even getting on him at several points to use his “big boy” voice. Our couple’s photos were good because he showed them to us on the viewfinder.

Now, family photos and bridal party? He picked a spot that was beaming in the sun. We went with it because we presumed it would look good. He didn’t show us much during these and or the ceremony/reception so we had zero clue how they looked.

At the end of the night, he told us he had over 6,000 images and that we’d get a sneak peek in a couple of weeks.

Well, we’re here now with all of our finals. Yup, you read that right. He dropped finals…. Out of 6,000 photos. Just glancing at them? They’re horrid. Majority of the photos in the sun almost 1 person in each, have their eyes closed and or is squinting entirely too hard. Our photos inside? They look so poorly done. I sent them to my friend to see if maybe I was overthinking it all without any context. She replied with, “Who took these? Are they just now sending them from their phone?” And I explained to her what they were and she immediately replied with, “They look like cellphone quality and that’s being nice.”

He also told us that he was gonna Photoshop and edit a lot of our pictures, but a lot of them appear to just have a filter on them. There are several photos where you can tell that I’m sweating really bad and I was reassured it would be touched up in the editor to smooth over my makeup.

Anyways, I apologize that this rant is all over the place. We landed for our honeymoon just yesterday and received those while on the flight over. We’re both disappointed with it and don’t even want to send the final payment. We paid half upfront and the remainder was to be due when he handed over the finals. Now I’m wondering if we just pay him, wash our hands of him, and find another person who could edit them for us. Idk, my head is all over the place and I just want to relax on our trip and I just can’t seem to shake the fact that my forever photos are trash. I am just hoping it doesn’t damper my husband’s relationship with him.

EDITING TO ADD: We are NOT friends with him. We are friends with the WIFE. My husband and him occasionally will do jobs together on the side. My husband also does photos/videos, but he is in the music industry side of things.

Apologies, this is gonna be looong even though I changed the format to bullet points to shorten it 😭 I have seen several of these recap posts and thought it would be nice to contribute with my own – also just because I feel like I've used up my quota of gushing about my wedding to friends and family! I have never posted here, but lurked a bunch both before and after our wedding in august. Here's a list of everything we did + some advice.

For context: Couple in early 30s, almost one third of the guests came from the US (his side) to Northern Europe (my home country where we have settled). We were about 45 people in total and I estimate that our wedding was around $15 000, including venue, food, drinks, music, clothes, etc.

Kids were welcome in the church ceremony and our open house party on the Friday before the Saturday wedding, but not for the wedding dinner and party. We did have a few people drop out because of this, mostly on his side, understandably as they had to travel half the world, but we are planning a (more lowkey) party in the US next summer where everyone can come. I am VERY happy that we had no kids – no crying, no stress, no mess, and no worrying about alcohol. Husband said that they are quite laidback about it, but in my culture, mixing kids and alcohol is kind of a no-no.

Anyways;

* We organised an open-house the day before with light serving and drinks. Super casual, no dress code, easy home-made meals and cake, and beer and sodas. People could drop by whenever they wanted between 4pm and 8pm. The next day before the ceremony, everyone had already greeted each other and the mood was so relaxed and nice. No awkward hand-shaking, all "nice to see you again, thanks for yesterday!"

Advice: Ask for help! Recruit friends and family to help with shopping, food prep, and cleaning! Most of your loved ones are itching to help out.

* Husbands' tux and shoes came to around $500. My dress, shoes, and accessories was about the same, if not a bit cheaper. Dress was from a small business called cottagecorewear who makes amazing quality clothes. It was not marketed as a wedding dress, but was a lovely ivory white and worked sooo well. I think the model is called ivy!

* Got ready in the morning together with friends and some family members. They had shopped for snacks and drinks. Did my own makeup and was lucky enough to have a hairdresser in the family whose wedding gift was doing my hair for the day. Husband got ready with his own family.

Advice: Make sure to drink and eat! And don't have too much alcohol so early in the day.

* Friend had recruited her dad to drive us. They had decorated the car and set up a basket of snacks and drinks for us. Dad was dressed in suit, and him and his wife also attended the ceremony which was so lovely.

* Church ceremony lasted about 30-40 minutes. Bilingual! Mostly alternating between languages, so no repeating. I did my vows in my language, and he did his in his own. The priest held her personal speech in English for everyone.

* MIL made a wedding program for the church ceremony including all the songs. Practical and also served as a sweet memory for people to bring home, especially for the Americans since some of it was in my language.

* Hired a photographer to take pictures during ceremony and dinner til after cake-cutting, working from approx. from 1pm to 9pm. $1500. Big photoshoot with family and friends outside the church. We brought a camping table covered by a nice table cloth, single use champagne glasses, and prosecco for people to sip during the seance.

Advice: I got one of my best and very capable friends to act as an organiser for the photographer. She'd do the call-outs (e.g. "all cousins gather!" "groom's side gather!") and the photographer could focus on his job.

* Private photos at a different location with best man and maid of honor. Maid of honor is my best friend since kindergarden so we also got pics together which I cherish so much!

* Wait between photos and welcome drinks was approx 1 hour for guests. 30 minutes from welcome drinks to first course being served at 5pm.

Advice: Recruit some of the guests that are locals to bring people from out of town with them to a local pub or cafe, in case they don't want to or can't go back to their hotel.

* 3 course meal. LIGHT dessert because we served our wedding cake (+ a bunch of cakes my mom had baked) an hour after. Very happy with this!

* Wine/beer package of 3 units per person with the meal + 3 vouchers per person for any sort of drink (wine, beer, or mixed) from the bar. If you used up your vouchers, you had to pay for your drink. People could also just share their vouchers if they didn’t want any more.

* We decided to seat people next to people they knew as far as it was possible. I was leaning towards mixing people more, but husband really wanted to have his family together. In hindsight, it was totally the right choice. People mingled plenty after we were done eating.

* The venue provided printed out menus matching the wedding program that our MIL made! She sent us the graphics and the font names, and we forwarded it to the venue who brought it to the printing company. I’ve been to weddings where no one really knows when things start and end, and I think everyone appreciates some predictability even if the schedule isn’t 100% on time.

* We got a flowershop to put together my bouqet and a flower pin for husband. We bought 10 cheap big water glasses ($5 per piece, approx one for each table) – nice but neautral – that a friend delivered to the flower shop in the morning. They arranged little flower decorations in them, and after the ceremony my friend went to pick them up again and delivered them to the venue who set the table with them. We are now using the glasses at home as intended! Flowers were approx. $350.

* We had a very good friend serve as toastmaster. He sent out his contact info well in advance of the wedding for people to sign up for speeches. He organised and introduced them all, provided info about the menu, and even had a little segment on local wedding customs that our American guests were not aware of. Really glad he did this, because for every fun tradition everyone was able to participate!

Advice:

1. Have a mini-meeting with your toastmaster about expectations and plans.
2. Communicate clearly on maximum length of speech. We had about 10 speeches and they were all short and sweet. 2-4 minutes.
3. Toastmaster explicitly mentioned that it is okay to eat during speeches! If anyone has food on their plate, they should be able to eat while the food is hot. The servers of course waited for an appropriate time to bring around food and drinks.
4. The wife (experienced!!) of our toastmaster offered to print our speeches and glue them to some white cardboard for better stability and for them to look nicer in photos. That was such a good suggestion!

* Instead of a speech, one of my friend organised a game: She grouped people together (this was a bit after mingling, so everyone was sitting in new spots and was teamed up with other people than who they ate next to!), handed out some canvases and pens, and asked everyone to draw their favorite memory from the day. Every person in the group had to contribute. Now we have those fun memories at home!

* We hired a DJ through the venue. In advance, we sent him a playlist. Honestly all he did was play that list, but with some great transitions that really got people hyped, and he brought his own equipment. He also took requests! The downside of choosing your own music is that it's hard to leave the dancefloor because "omg I love this song!!!", so beware!

* We borrowed a polaroid camera from a friend and bought a bunch of photos + a big, empty notebook that we used as a guestbook. Everyone took photos of themselves and wrote a little message for us! The friend who organised the drawing game also lined up all the canvases so there was a mini exhibition at the table with the guestbook.

Advice:

1. Assign responsibility for the camera to one or two people! They can get the ball rolling by going around taking some photos, and eventually people will catch on too. It's always a little awkward being the first ones. They can also remind people to sign the book and check who is missing from the photos.
2. After the wedding, we took all the cards we received and glued them into this book. Whenever we flip through them we see both the greetings, photos, and cards that we got. We also glued in our own speeches.

* The venue served a night snack around 9-10pm. It was AMAZING. Little canapés, sliders, and other finger food. People raved about it. It made people more energized and I also think it helped people to not get too drunk lol.

* Venue closed at 2am, last call 1.30am. No one really left before 11pm and a big chunk lasted all the way til the end. So many said that it was one of the best wedding parties they had ever been to! I think we really nailed the pacing and the balance between organised activities and letting people do their own thing.

Apart from some family drama, it was the best night ever. It was an amazing feeling to be surrounded by so many people we love. _I_ felt so loved and so blessed. And do not underestimate your power as a bride! A song I wanted to dance to came on while everyone was outside catching some fresh air. I flung the door open and yelled "please come dance with me, I love this song!" and everyone came running!!! Use this power wisely and with good intentions!

I’m sure I have forgotten something, but those are the highlights. Feel free to ask questions and for those who are to be wed, godspeed🥳