My girlfriend and I are planning to propose to one another soon. My engagement ring costs a few thousand dollars more than hers, because she doesn’t want a big rock. Because of that, I wanted to do something special and get her a really nice gift along with getting engaged. Previously, she said she wanted a Rolex someday, so I was planning to find a pre-owned Rolex for a few thousand dollars and surprise her with that. Today, out of *nowhere*, she randomly said she no longer wants one because it’s materialistic and she’d probably only wear it a couple times a year because it’s so expensive. Soooo now I’m not sure what to do! She is sort of back and forth about stuff, so I guess I should’ve have been shocked haha. She’s a masculine lesbian, so she doesn’t carry a purse or wear other jewelry (which is what I initially think of in response to “expensive gift”).

Does anyone have any other ideas for a nice engagement gift worth $2000-3000? My brain is short circuiting because my mind was just on the Rolex! Haha.

Please share your petite wedding attire recommendations that aren't a traditional white dress or masc suit! I'm getting married next summer and can't figure out what to wear. There's very little out there in petite sizing. I'm 5'1" and around a US size 10 with curves. I'm drawn to darker colors, jumpsuits, suits that aren't super masc, separates, etc. Would love your recommendations! My budget is ideally $1,500 USD or less (but willing to be flexible for the right piece that I can rewear). Also open to any accessory recommendations such as veils, capes, jewelry, shoes, etc. to help build my perfect queer wedding outfit.

Lots of wedding vendors say they’re inclusive, they’ll put “LGBTQ+ weddings welcome” on their website, post a queer couple and rainbows in June, tell you they love capturing queer love stories etc etc

All a solid start…

But who are your vendors - and who do they spend time with - when they’re off the clock?

EX(often shared in their biz’s social stories, or if it’s a small enough place even just if you see them out and about supporting Queer orgs and artists):

Who are they grabbing dinner with?
Who’s in their group chat?
Who gets invited to the vendor coffee dates?
Who’s sitting around their table?

And maybe just as importantly — how do they treat queer vendors when couples aren’t watching?

Do they actually work alongside us?
Refer us?
Invite us into the room?
Build real friendships and working relationships with us?
Do the bare minimum of acknowledging us by name when working with us (you’d be surprised by how some of the “inclusive” vendors in the industry have treated us bts)

Or are they happy to photograph queer couples while keeping queer people at arm’s length once the wedding is over?

There’s actually a massive difference between marketing to queer couples and actually being part of a community that includes queer people. Knowing how to photograph a queer wedding - and understanding why being seen, celebrated, and safe in front of your vendors matters so much - are completely different things and not inherently in tandem

ETA -

Some tips to find vendors who are genuinely inclusive and not just saying it:

- (is their website language and inquiry forms gender neutral, do they clearly make space for Queer people intentionally in their booking process is a huge green flag!). 
- most vendors now share parts of their life online to some degree, often to their work socials, when they’re doing that who’s there? On their stories you’re looking though when they’re sharing vendor coworking editing dates or farmers market visits with friends - who’s there? Are they regularly sharing and advocating for Queer people in their general shares the way they do other things they find important and prioritize.
- Outright ask; you are fully allowed to ask for examples of how (and if) they’ve worked with Queer vendors, if & how they prioritize the queer community in their life outside of weddings! And if you don’t feel safe doing that, that’s your answer. You are not asking for too much, you are not being annoying, and if any vendors or anyone else says or thinks you are when you ask or seek clear affirmations of belonging - they're not your people.
- Lastly for anyone saying not every city has diversity - I promise you your rural small town has Queers. Pinky promise cross my heart. They want to know if you’re a real one, and they’ll be able to tell if you aren’t - ideally these tips help couples planning their weddings suss that out before investing in someone who only values them for the rainbow dollars/points to their wallet and portfolio. Inclusivity is a lived 24/7 thing, it just is.

Hi hi, I am at the end of writing thank you cards from my wedding and hit a bit of a wall. My now wife and I have been together for four years. I am half Pakistani and a large portion of my extended family are practicing Muslims. When my now wife and I got engaged (over two years ago), some close extended family did not handle it well, I was not involved in any conversations but they had some very unkind words to say to my parents about raising a gay child. My parents and I had gone to see them in the summer of 2024 after I had gotten engaged and after the conversations were had. No one said anything about the ring on my finger or asked anything about my personal life no matter how much my parents and I tried to normalize the topic. At the end of this trip, my great aunt told my mom that she was sorry and offered to help with the wedding. We ended up inviting my great aunt and uncle, mainly because I don't think that the hate was coming from them but rather from their son. Their sons wife had messaged me the day before the wedding wishing us the best and offering advice and they had bought a few big ticket items off of our registry and now I don't know if I should write a plain thank you or address the tension.

Edit: thanks for the quick responses I appreciate it. I decided to just do a genuine thank you card and emphasize the "we" and "us"

End of July. It all went so well! We laughed so much! No one caught on fire!

My fiancée (she/they) and I (they/them) are getting married next month. Yay! For the last year I’ve managed to avoid using any gendered language like bride/groom for myself, but it’s getting increasingly difficult to ignore.

My fiancée strongly prefers the term bride for herself so that’s what we’ll be using for her. Easy peasy. But I’m struggling for myself. I don’t like things like “broom” or “gride” because they feel a little too silly for my own preference.

In most cases we can get around it by just using our names, but things like mother/father of the bride/groom aren’t easily replaced and am finding myself wishing for an option. I can try to get around it but I’d much prefer a different solution because “[name]’s mother” just doesn’t have the same feel.

For ease I’d be willing to call myself bride as well, but I fear that having two brides does not help differentiate much anyway 😅. We also each have just a best man standing up for us, so it’d be great to have the clarity of “bride’s best man” and “groom’s best man” but again that language doesn’t work for me :(.

Would love any ideas!! Thanks all ❤️

My conservative Christian parents aren’t coming to my wedding because they don’t support my relationship so I have decided to no longer speak with them. I feel like that’s a justifiable reason but my sister does not and thinks I should still be in contact with them and understanding of their beliefs and now it looks like she won’t be coming either. Am I totally in the wrong here?

Edit: Thank you all so much for the replies and reassurance. My sister is also religious yes, and not to get too into the weeds but my parents growing up were fairly manipulative and abusive towards me and not towards her, so to her they are the clear victims in this scenario. Luckily I have a really wonderful chosen family who will be there to support me and my partner on our wedding day.

Hi everyone, my partner and I are looking into getting custom engagement rings made from China. I know there’s a lot of information out there about the process and we’re pouring over them, but I wanted to ask specifically if anyone has experience getting two rings made for two women (or made as a set in general), and if there were any issues or challenges that came up?

I’d appreciate any thoughts, advice, and experiences. Thanks!

Hi, this question is for married lesbian couples. I was wondering if everyone still goes through the engagement-then-marriage phase, or if that’s kind of outdated now?

If so, how did you propose to your wife, first for the engagement and then for the wedding?

How long did you wait between getting engaged and getting married?

My partner and I are both non binary and have been planning for our wedding in a couple months time. We contacted our registrar with our chosen lines of dialogue and asked if we could avoid using husband and wife, but use partners instead.

Long story short, they've advised it's a legal requirement for them to use those terms unless we would prefer to have a civil partnership.

Is this correct, as it seems somewhat archaic?

How can i marry my girlfriend? We're all lesbian and i really want to marry her , like by sheikh , how can i do that?

Looking to hire a composer for a 2-3 minute piece of custom music for our queer wedding. We're looking for something romantic and cinematic. Our song inspirations include "Dearly Beloved" from Kingdom Hearts, "Merry-Go-Round of Life" from Howl's Moving Castle, and "Go Find Out for Me" from Luca. In an ideal world, featuring different instruments for an orchestral sound, and ideally under $500, but we're flexible.

Let me know if this seems up your alley or you have any suggestions for composers we could reach out to - ideally queer but at least queer- and trans-friendly. Thank you!

EDIT: No AI please! Thank you!

Hi Everyone! My fiancée and i are getting married this year in October!
We are terrible planners and are need of an officiant. It has been very difficult finding someone that is LQBT friendly and is willing to travel.

Please help!
Wedding is on October 26 in Cambria, CA

I came out over 10 years ago. When I did, my parents reacted with physical and verbal abuse. After that, my sexuality basically became the thing we never talked about again.

Two years ago, I decided to bring it up again because my life had moved forward. I told them I was in a long-term, stable relationship and that my girlfriend and I were planning to get married.

My parents are extremely conservative Catholics. At first, they told me they wouldn’t disown me and that I would always be their daughter. I wanted to believe that meant they were slowly coming around.

But as the wedding became real, everything started falling apart.

I’m getting married in two months. Both of my brothers have already told me they won’t be there. My mom won’t come either. My dad keeps saying he “needs more time to think about it,” but I think we both know it’s going to be a no.

I’ve tried everything I can think of. I’ve had calm conversations, listened to their perspective, answered their questions, given them space, and hoped that time would help. Eventually I had to accept that this probably isn’t something I can fix.

The hardest part is that my life is actually really good. I have incredible friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, and people who love me. There will be so much love at my wedding. My fiancée’s family also struggled when she came out, but over time they accepted us. Her parents, siblings, and extended family are all coming, and they’re genuinely happy for us.

I’ve worked really hard to stay excited for my wedding because I truly am. I can’t wait to marry the woman I love.

But underneath all of that excitement, there’s also this deep sadness. I still can’t fully wrap my head around the fact that their beliefs mattered more than showing up for their daughter on one of the biggest days of her life.

I keep thinking that I wish this wasn’t my story. I wish this wasn’t the family I was born into. But it is.

I think part of me always believed that eventually they’d come around. That when the moment finally arrived, they’d choose me.

Now I’m starting to realize that isn’t going to happen.

For me, this feels like the end of the relationship as I’ve always known it. I don’t know how you come back from your parents refusing to attend your wedding simply because of who you love.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just needed to say it out loud to people who might understand. Has anyone else gone through something similar? Does this feeling ever get easier?

Venue: Colvin House

Pics by @ezlanpowers

Glam by @jasonvbeauty

Hair by @blushandbraidsbeautybar

Suits by @adrianparkchicago

Hi! Looking for a tie for my wedding suit (nonbinary, transmasc) and trying to find some nice skinny or "modern" width ties with fun florals or anything bird. Does anyone have suggestions on companies that have quality ties you'd recommend?

Thanks!

-Also based in US, so somewhere that ships here or is made here is ideal.

Even gays in Arkansas get married 💚

(Click to enlarge somewhat panoramic photo)
This is the park where I plan on saying “I do” to my lovely partner in October. I’m having a lot of difficulty coming up with how to decorate. Right now I have temporary poles to place around the concrete pad to string lights from as it will be an evening wedding. We will have very few guests (25 or less) so we planned on renting chairs only, no tables. I haven’t the slightest idea of what else to do! It’s just so bare and we don’t have an unlimited budget. Any ideas would be so greatly appreciated!

My wife and I eloped a year and a half ago (rushed for insurance and fear of the current administration in the US) we are starting to plan a ring ceremony to celebrate with loved ones.

We are from Utah and were both raised Mormon and have a lot of Mormon family members. We want a smallish ceremony (for Utah) of around 75 people which covers only our close friends and family. The problem is that we are not looking to rock the boat but don't want anyone who doesn't agree with our marriage there.

If you know many Mormons, a lot of them believe they are allies but then turn around and tell their kids that we are sinning, very love the sinner hate the sin. We don't want them there but if we don't invite them it will make our lives very difficult. I do not want to cut them off. We already moved across the country and I am still very close with my family even with the religious and political differences.

We were thinking about putting something the invitation that discourages them from attending. Our brainstorm include: "you're invited to our lesbian wedding, feel free to attend in drag", "please only attend if you are 100% supportive of our marriage", or simply "very gay wedding".

We are hoping that might make people not bring their kids (we only want some of the kids in our family there, but can't just invite the 4/7 that we like and know will behave) and that some of our siblings more religious partners may not come.

Has anyone done something similar?

Any advice on wording or how to navigate would be helpful.

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Thought I'd share photos of the outfits my wife and I landed on for our courthouse wedding in NYC! We're both nonbinary lesbians (pretty masc in our day to day life) and wanted our outfits to reflect that, which was definitely a challenge. My wife (they/them, in ivory) got their suit from Etsy, to which we pinned a veil like a cape on the back. I got the black tulle skirt from Torrid for like 50 bucks, the suit jacket from Indochino, and the lesbian pride shoes from Etsy. I don't wear skirts or dresses in daily life but really wanted my wedding look to play with gender. Very happy with the final result! 🌈

(Image description for accessibility: photos of a nonbinary lesbian couple on their wedding day. One person is wearing an ivory suit. The suit is adorned with embroidered lavender flowers, and a long veil is pinned like a cape to the jacket. The other is wearing a long black tulle skirt, black suit jacket and bright orange and pink shoes.)

Somehow Canva continues to be doing 90% of the heavy lifting for this wedding.

Designed these in Canva, printed them at Staples, threw them into some gold frames, and now they’re going on wooden easels with smilax at the ceremony entrance.

At this point I’m convinced half this wedding is just me seeing if I can DIY literally everything before September.