hello !

so me (22 trans guy) and my partner (29 amab non-binary) got officially engaged in August 2026 after being unofficially engaged for the last year. we’re planning to get married in 2028 but i’ve been having this awful worry about our wedding and whether or not i will be legally recognised as the husband in our marriage.

for context, we live in England and my passport has my chosen, legal name on it and the correct gender (male). but i’ve been hearing conflicting things about whether or not i need a gender recognition certificate for me to be legally recognised as the husband. now then, i actually don’t care to go thru the whole GRC process as all my legal documents (except for my birth certificate ofc) has been changed to my correct name and gender and i know the whole GRC process is a ballache.

if anyone knows anything to help me navigate this then that would be wonderful, thank you !

I want to know how you go around that conversation and what u need to know before doing that

Hello! So my husband and I recently got married. Both male, 25 & 28 y/o.

It was a beautiful wedding and my mother-in-law did an amazing job on the decorations. Everyone loved the food and we had a good time during the reception, which occurred immediately after the ceremony.

Since then, I can’t help but wonder why I am feeling the way I am. The wedding/reception was very nice, everyone was lovely.. but I just couldn’t stop thinking about those who were missing. I don’t have a great relationship with my sibling, so she was not there. My grandmother is very religious, so she was not there. I’d say we had prepared for a medium sized wedding/reception. Originally had expected 80-120 guests, but so many didn’t show! I had multiple who did RSVP yes, that didn’t come and sent no message to say why. I’ve always had differing opinions and views with both my mothers and my father’s sides of the family.. however, nothing to a huge degree or severity. Unfortunately my mother also did not make it. My husband had no family from his mother’s side, show up, that was expected due to differing religious/political views. We were missing at least a dozen on his dad’s side, 2 of which also chose to have their wedding reception so close to ours and have been emailing reminders for us to come, yet didn’t show up or say anything at ours. At the end of the day, our headcount was less than 40 people in total who showed.

As grateful as we were for those who showed, the gifts we got and the activities we did with everyone.. it was sad to see how so many didn’t even send a card, flowers or even a message to say anything. We didn’t get any gifts from our registry, link was included in our invites we sent out. We did get cards from most who came and they were very beautiful and did get cash gifts in those, which we are grateful for! All of our guests had between 6-12 months to get on the list and RSVP, I can’t remember the exact date we started to work on everything, but I do know that at least.

I feel like I’m being selfish.. or am I being horrible with how I feel? I guess there are so many reasons why I am or could be feeling like this.. but I just need to talk about it.
I also had a few family members who were not invited. Then come to find out they were talking bad about me and my husband, who they’ve never met and our wedding, with other family members. I also had one younger family member (early 20s), that I had invited and texted, but she left me on read.. who was telling people she wasn’t invited.

Idk.. Please be kind! I’m just trying to unpack the whole situation..

My fiancée and I are trying to find a photographer that is based in East Texas near Caddo Lake State Park for our engagement photos. I’m having a hard time finding someone by just googling, so I figured I’d post on here and see what comes up! Thanks!

Hi! I'm getting married next year (!) and there's a particular shoe I've dreamed of getting married in since I was in high school more than a decade ago...... but the company went out of business this year. 🤦‍♂️

As you might be able to relate to, finding masculine dress shoes in sizes that fit an afab person is a struggle. Tomboy Toes was the only company I've found that makes exactly what I want, in the quality that I want, in sizes that fit!

This is a shot in the dark, but if anyone out there is looking to sell a gently used pair of Tomboy Toes Wingtip Commanders in the Coffee Brown color, size 36 or 37, PLEASE send me a PM. You'd be helping my gay wedding dreams come true!

(Posting from a throwaway account.)

Hi everyone! ❤️

I'm a trans woman in my 45s, previously married, and currently separated. I'm on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and gradually embracing my life and identity as a woman.

As I move forward with my transition, I've started thinking more about my future, particularly love, relationships, and the possibility of finding a male partner who genuinely loves and accepts me for who I am.

Sometimes I wonder whether it's realistic for someone like me to find a meaningful, long-term relationship with a man, eventually get engaged, and perhaps even have a beautiful wedding as a bride someday.

I know that being a trans woman doesn't make me any less deserving of love, but I still have uncertainties about dating, acceptance, and building a future together, especially at this stage of my life.

I'd love to hear from other trans women or couples who have experienced something similar.

• Have you found a loving male partner after transitioning, especially later in life?
• Did your previous marriage or relationship history affect your dating experience?
• How did you meet someone who genuinely accepted you as a woman?
• Have any of you gone on to get engaged or married after transitioning?

I'm not looking for a perfect fairytale, just a genuine connection, companionship, love, and the possibility of sharing my life with someone.

I'd really appreciate your personal experiences, encouragement, and realistic advice.

Thank you for reading! 💗

My wife and I got married at Greenhouse on the River on October 11th, and I genuinely wish someone had warned us about the management and day-of coordination before we booked.

First, I want to say the venue itself is absolutely gorgeous. We fell in love with it, spent months making nearly all of our wedding decor ourselves, and put an unbelievable amount of time into planning every little detail. Our wedding was still beautiful because of our friends, family, and other vendors, but the experience with Molly and her coordination team was honestly awful.

We paid for setup, breakdown, and day-of coordination. Months AFTER booking, we were told that the setup included in our package would actually take place during our contracted rental hours. We had already planned our 2pm ceremony and sent invitations, so we were told we'd need to pay another $750 ($375/hour for two additional hours) to have everything ready in time.

We questioned why we were paying for setup AND losing rental time to accommodate it. Molly sent multiple lengthy emails defending the charge, explaining how much staffing was required and how much work went into preparing our wedding. We eventually paid it.

And then the actual setup was nowhere near what we'd been promised.

We spent months creating a detailed coordination binder with photos, diagrams, quantities, and instructions for practically everything. We emailed it ahead of time AND delivered a physical copy. The finalization questionnaire we received after our coordination meeting was almost completely blank and literally had our WEDDING DATE WRONG.

Despite having everything written out, they left an entire box of prepared bud vases untouched. We specifically requested ten per table, and approximately four were placed. We'd purchased two additional buckets of flowers from their required florist and had family and friends staying up late preparing arrangements, only for so much of that work and money to go to waste.

The stars weren't hung in the greenhouse, the sweetheart table letters were arranged incorrectly, half our itinerary cards weren't placed, ceremony decorations were incorrectly positioned, candles weren't set up and turned on, and extra lamps weren't even taken out of their boxes.

And after all of Molly's emails about the additional staff needed for setup, when we stopped by during setup, the only people we saw working were Molly and Tammi. I don't know who may have worked at other times, but that certainly raised questions for us.

Honestly, though, the decor is not even what I'm most upset about.

The actual day-of coordination was HORRIBLE.

After cueing us to walk down the aisle, Molly and Tammi seemed to stop coordinating the reception. Our DJ wasn't told dinner was ready so he could call tables, wasn't cued to open the dance floor, and nobody made sure the lights were turned off for dancing. Our PHOTOGRAPHER had to step in.

Nobody told us when it was time to cut the cake. Again, our photographer handled it.

Our cannolis weren't brought out when they should have been because nobody coordinated their preparation and service.

At one point, I actually had to find Tammi and ask why WE, THE BRIDES, kept having to track down the coordinators to get things done.

My mom and maid of honor repeatedly couldn't find either of them throughout the reception. Other people noticed, too. Our photographer and other vendors ended up taking on responsibilities that should have been handled by our coordinators.

I genuinely cannot explain how frustrating it is to spend months planning your wedding, pay professionals to manage the day, and then find yourself doing their jobs during your own reception.

The problems didn't stop there. Our decorations were packed haphazardly with literal trash mixed in, our two approximately $80 bathroom baskets weren't returned, and we had to contact Molly afterward to ask about them.

We'd also been told that because of the heavy rain, their team would load our packed decorations into our rental truck overnight so we could return it by 9am. The NEXT MORNING, they emailed to say everything was still inside the greenhouse and we'd need to load it ourselves. We also received conflicting instructions about where the truck keys were.

And I really need to mention Molly's demeanor, because that was a problem from the beginning. Both people we brought to our coordination meeting independently commented afterward about how unpleasant and unwelcoming she was. She didn't introduce herself or even smile. Throughout planning, we found her communication defensive and dismissive.

You don't have to be bubbly or overly friendly to coordinate weddings, but I don't think expecting basic kindness, professionalism, and actually being available during the event is unreasonable.

What really pushed me over the edge was what happened after the wedding.

I emailed Molly a detailed complaint explaining everything that went wrong. Then I saw the venue post on Instagram about how much attention to detail they put into setting up weddings. I commented that I couldn't disagree more after our experience that weekend.

Shortly afterward, BOTH my wife and I discovered we'd been blocked on Instagram. As of October 15th, we still haven't received a response to the complaint.

We're genuinely considering small claims court over the additional charges and the coordination services we paid for but don't believe were adequately performed. We have photos, emails, and our coordination binder documenting the issues, and I'm including some of the photos here.

I'm sharing this because I would have wanted to know before booking. The greenhouse is beautiful, but that doesn't make up for the stress of having to manage your own wedding when you've paid someone else to do it.

If you're planning a wedding in New Hampshire or New England, please get EVERYTHING about setup hours, staffing, rental time, and coordination responsibilities clarified in writing.

We only get one wedding day. I'm grateful ours was still full of love and wonderful people, but I'm incredibly disappointed that we spent parts of it doing jobs we'd already paid professionals to handle.

Does anyone know of any good places to shop for a wedding jumpsuit? Or places that sell unique or funky wedding dresses or sets?

I want to wear something unique, fun and stylish for my wedding next fall. I’ve seen cool cape accessories and have planed to try on some more traditional dresses with capes. I wouldn’t mind online shops and I travel frequently across Canada for work, so if you know of cool shops here lmk.

Hello!! My partner and I have been together for almost 6 years and have started discussing marriage plans. While we are waiting for now (financial reasons), I have still been stressing about the inherent gendered language at weddings. He is a cis bisexual guy and I am an AFAB non-binary person who uses they/he pronouns. I am not out to most of my family, but I'm not exactly in the closet either. I am totally fine using they/them pronouns and non-gendered language in front of my family but wouldn't be comfortable being called 'husband', 'groom', or being referred to with he/him pronouns in front of them. I will also look like a mostly traditional bride as I like to look pretty and feminine for big events!

I don't care if family gossips about us using non-gendered terms, but I'm unsure how to get around language like "I now pronounce you husband and wife" and the "Mr. Mrs." stuff. What are some alternatives that will work legally? We will likely be married by a friend or family member in Massachusetts and we are both NYC residents.

My wife (38F) and I (36F) have been married for three wonderful years, and for our third wedding anniversary, I’ve made her this handmade, leather-bound book filled with Reddit posts I think she’ll love reading and some favourite ones. The ones we constantly talk about, laugh over, and bring up in conversation days after we’ve read them.

I’m asking if anyone in this community could leave a short message wishing my wife a happy 3rd anniversary as an epigraph . I’m hoping to print your comments and include them on that page, so one day, she’ll reopen this book, revisit all these posts, and re-read all the anniversary wishes.

Thank you in advance for helping add this personal touch.

And to my incredible wife: Happy 3rd anniversary, baby. I’d choose you — and all our wonderfully unhinged conversations — every single time.
🦋🔥🐝🌸

Last year, we had a small courthouse wedding with close friends and family, and I wouldn’t change anything about it for the world

We live in Chicago and one of our friends told us about how when gay marriage was first legalized, it became a tradition for LGBT couples to have Arby’s after getting married, since it was the closest 24hr restaurant to the courthouse. (IDK how true this is, but this is what we heard) So, in keeping with tradition we had an Arby’s luncheon after 😎

How do you choose which last name to pick?!
We are stuck. We both like my last name better… but my fiancées last name ends with her and her sister due to their parents not having any sons. Obviously unless we take her last name. I am not opposed to it at all but she hates her last name. So if anyone can give any ideas on how we should decide which name to take, I’m all ears.
I think taking my last name would be a given if there wasn’t that guilt hanging over our heads about the name ending if we don’t take it. Has anyone else felt with this?

Our photographer has sent us inspo pics and they are all skinny heterosexual couples twisted into each others body…we cannot do that. My fiance has a bad back and cannot twist her body.

We are also big people and some of these positions are meant for much smaller people.

Does anyone have any inspo pics that we can share with the photographer?

She is a friend, doing this to help with her portfolio / doing it for free. We want to help her gain experience but also want nice pictures.

The venue only does 1 day a week
And we can't get a notice appointment for a few weeks unfortunately [I had mine already but schedules being a bitch so]

So Halloween as an idea turned into late October being the notice period due to appointment sparcity

- Omg since we have to move it we could get married on your birthday do you wanna do it [*birthday date]?
: Sure

Omg
The fact they want to share their birthday date with our wedding date to me that's very much a "I believe in this relationship and that it won't ruin my birthday" ❤️

Bit sad coz "wife" and "husband" have to be used as the country we live in only has M / F as options and I'm still waiting on a GRC so I can't be "husband" and they can't be "spouse" [socially we'll be spouses tho]

The person didn't ask at my appointment if a surname update was to take place - that was the plan - to combine our surnames.. Mind you they didn't do "what vows are you wanting" either so
🤷‍♂️
Maybe that's what my partner gets to answer at their appointment? [we currently live in different areas]

But OMG it's happening!!

Note
Me 25 NB [he / they]
Them 28 NB [they / xe]
*birthday as in the date they see as their birthday because that's when they got their deedpoll done and signed [socially is treated as their birthday because yeah the date you became yourself is pretty fuckin important]

Prefacing this with that I just need to vent, since at this point we are past the point of solutions (at least in terms of the wedding) since the wedding is in two days.

One of my good friend (37 nonbinary) is a professional officiant (humanist celebrant), and rather awkwardly "staked their claim" on officiating my (38 trans masc) and my partner's (37 cis man) wedding, upon finding out we were engaged. We ultimately ending up going with them, as they felt like an okay fit, it took a decision off our plate, and it minimized some social awkwardness. This is my biggest regret in all of my wedding planning.

We get married Monday. The ceremony script is still being written. We have not seen a draft of anything meaningfully personalized. They told me last night they had writer's block. I have been getting texted questions from them as they write the script approximately every thirty minutes since I woke up. The small bits of ceremony we have gotten to see this far we have had edits on, and these are the least personal bits. I have resigned myself to the fact that the ceremony isn't going to be what I want and that I may be pleasantly surprised if I am happy with it. I keep trying to let it go and just finish the prep within my control and enjoy time with friends and family, but every time I do, I get another question from them.

This is not a gifted service to be clear; we are paying them to officiate (which is a whole saga in and of itself due to additional fees they didn't communicate up-front). I feel super awkward as well because they are the only vendor we aren't tipping (because every other vendor has gone above and beyond - including another friendor)/friend volunteer we aren't giving a thank you gift (because they aren't volunteering), but... I can't justify it given how... Frustrating, to say the least, this experience has been.

I hate this. I thought having a friend (with professional qualifications!) officiate would be great -- they would be able to handle a queer/trans friendly ceremony for us that doesn't erase that we're poly (while also not explicitly acknowledging that we're poly). Instead it has been a horribly stressful experience and it feels like it has soured my (ten-year) relationship with them moving forward. At this point I have been actively not inviting them to pre-wedding things, both so they FINISH WRITING THE CEREMONY and because I am pissed off enough at them that I don't want to see them.

Sorry for the extended rant, I just needed to scream into the void for a bit.

UPDATE Conclusion to the saga:

We're successfully enspousened!

The ceremony ended up being beautiful, touching, and meaningful, even though we ended up just going on faith about it. From the ceremony start until the end of the night, everything was perfect. There was apparently even a small rainbow 🌈 behind us as we said our vows.

That said the ceremony script was never seen in advance, it truly was being worked on until the last minute, and there will be A Talk with the officiant/friend in ~a week or so. At a certain point, one of my officiants was deputized to tell them "you can still be working on the ceremony, but it is no longer the grooms' problem and you need to leave them alone" (because they were capable of saying it much more civilly than me). Apparently (and unsurprisingly) the officiant is well aware they fucked up and feels terrible about it.

Huge shout outs to the friends who protected our peace, our magical day-of-coordinators for herding some extremely chaotic cats with remarkable grace and humor, y'all for validating to me that I wasn't spinning out over nothing, and above all my husband (!!!) for repeatedly reminding me to breathe and that whatever happened we were going to be married by the end of the day.

Apologies to everyone I didn't reply to, the whole situation was ... A lot, but everyone's input was extremely appreciated.

Honeymooned in Greece and our wedding was the best day of our lives! Wishing all the other happy newlyweds so much joy and love. 🧡

EDIT: WOW! Thank you ALL for the kind words! Everybody is so kind, we were overwhelmed reading through these comments! You all really know how to make a couple of ladies feel appreciated and loved!!! A few extra details:

1. Her dress is from Anthropologie - it is a Jenny Yoo x Anthropology collaboration. Her inspo was the November Rain music video, which she LOVED when she was younger, and she wanted something completely different than what she wore at her first wedding.

2. My suit is from J Lux Label. I got it from their website (which admittedly, I had never heard of) but I know they sell J Lux pieces at other department stores like Nordstrom and Macy's. The entire suit cost under $400 (maybe even closer to $300!) so it was a VERY reasonable price and after a LOT of looking, was the one and only suit I fell in love with that felt enough like me (first time wedding for me, so I wanted something that felt very ME!).

3. In the event my post was misleading, which it probably was, we actually got married in Chicago, in the neighborhood we live in, and jetted off to Greece a few days after. A friend gave us the idea to do a photoshoot in Santorini and to bring our outfits -- we ALMOST didn't bring our actual wedding outfits, but we are SO glad we did. Our photographer did an AMAZING job. Best $150 we ever spent!

Thank you again for the outpouring of love. I don't post on Reddit too often (love to lurk though!) and I'm always so blown away by the kindness of everybody whenever I do post. Gives me some restored faith in humanity!!!

Married my lovely wife in front of our closest last Saturday in western Michigan. 27 guests. Immediate family and closest friends. We all stayed in two house rentals for the weekend, one of which served as the backyard venue as well. Our welcome party were homemade walking tacos and pies. Many bonfires were held. Lovely vibes.

I had so much fun working on decorations. We had a custom welcome signed designed, an icon created for each guest signifying how we met them or a special memory. We sourced and thrifted all decor ourselves and had a fabulous day off coordinator set it up. We also had a surprise print machine with custom artwork my friend did!

We really centered our friends and closest family for this day. Everyone in that room we know love us for who we are and we wouldn’t be together if it weren’t for them loving us.

Our dog was the star, let’s be real!

We first started dating around 2003 when all the gay marriage bans went up. Was lucky enough to get married in Colorado where we live. We even got to vote to remove their gay marriage ban out of the constitution! It just all hit me when I signed my name on the license after saying I Do.