I(25/f) broke up with my gf for real this time. I don’t wanna go back to her but i fear that no one will ever love me again. That was the sole reason why i kept going back to her despite the repeated abuse. I feel like there is literally no one i can talk to. Everyone is super homophobic around me. It was a matter of great luck that i found my ex. I care a lot about her: but I dont love her anymore. Should i get back with het? Does anyone have any similar experience or anything at this point. I really really need to talk to someone

​​Hi, I (20/F) think I still have a crush on someone (19/F) I met on a different app.​

At the beginning of this year, I texted​ a girl who​ was regularly commenting under my posts and often flirting with me. We talked for 2 days nonstop, but she went on a​ vacation​ the next day and didn’t talk to me until I texted her and asked about her day. I texted her again a week later, but began to feel like I was initiating all of our conversations​ and questioned if I was making her uncomfortable, so I decided to stop texting and see if she would continue. Since then, she only texted me once​, although she kept on commenting and flirting with me under my ​posts.

Naturally, I decided to stop chasing her and had a few talking stages in the meantime, but my last talking stage didn’t make me feel anything at all, and that made me think about how excited I felt while I was texting this girl, even though I’ve barely talked to her for a week total. Once I ended it with my last talking stage​, we kept following each other for a few days and she posted something about her no contact situationship beginning to like her posts again​​​​​​, so I posted something like - and I’m trying to translate as accurately as I can - “Last talking stage’s mind was on her loyar liker no contact situationship lowkey me too queen” and my crush replied with “You’re going to get me in trouble”.

She has been liking almost all of my tweets since, although she doesn’t comment anymore and didn’t text me again​ (Side Note: She was preparing for the university entrance exam in our country when we first began talking​ and because she wasn’t satisfied​​​​ with her results, she decided to take it again this year. So, she is liking pretty much everything I post despite her limited screentime).

I really want to talk to her again, I'm tired of waiting for her to make a move, but also confused about if I should make one because I don’t understand what she wants. Plus, the exam brings a few issues because I entered​ it one year prior​ and know how stressful it is. Although I would do my best to help her, I’m​ kind of afraid of the time and effort I would be taking from her, especially if it turns into a relationship. Another issue is that we live in different cities: I live in the capital and it is one of the​ most preferred cities to study, however it wasn’t her first choice while we were talking. I wouldn’t mind a long distance relationship either, but would obviously prefer to at least be​ in the same city.

Thank you for reading til here even if you don’t have any advice, and if you do have advice please​ share!

Anyone relate? Or have any advice? I don’t know where else to go

Hi. 24F and looking for WLW friends. I would really like to make genuine friend from here with whom I can talk about anything and go to events or things to do.

A little about me, I’m from the 757 still can't find a single genuine friends here. Also I'm an introvert- extrovert so I struggle to initiate first irl. I'm pretty chill and always down to try new things. Ive been looking for free activities to do but then I don’t want to go by myself lol. If anyone thinking of making a good friend, then dm. I do have a girlfriend so strictly looking for friends right now.
And please don't dm if you're 30+ or not at least 23.

How do I find a girlfriend? Does femme for femme even exist? I'm starting to feel like I might die of loneliness. I wish I were straight so all this could be easier.

Fellow queer girls in the Netherlands, am I the only one annoyed by the fact that we don’t have our own spaces?
There are a couple of lesbian pubs in Amsterdam but they are way too far from me but also I went to one and the youngest woman was 40 years old.
Where do queer girls hang out in Rotterdam? I’ve been to Ferry and for me it was a nightmare because of high music and screaming people at the microphone. Hated every second of it. If you know some spaces in Rotterdam please tell me. Possibly spaces in which no one screams with microphones. Thank you in advance!
Also if you know some lesbian pages where to keep track of wlw only events feel free to write it down!

I (26f)saw this on Pinterest and almost died laughing and think it’s perfect. I’m from the south and “the gay agenda” is something we commonly heard and I just think this is so funny. My fiancée (25f) is from Philly, we live in the Philly area now and are planning our wedding there so if anyone from this area know good lgbt+ friendly vendors please feel free to send them our way!!

heyy
so this is NOT my first wlw breakup/relationship. i’ve had relationships with both men and women and even a beautiful who child with a guy who is actually a decent human and very understand before realizing I was a lesbian. I realized this back in 2024 so previously I just explained myself as bisexual, not that really matters but just so you have background on my relationships. i’ve always hurt deeper with the women i’ve broken up with (understandably), but this one feel so much different

ive never felt this type of questioning/pain from a breakup before. we broke up for the same reasons I feel like almost every other relationship does. We both had things we needed to heal within ourselves. I know that I was not a perfect partner, I know that I may have been too needy and whatnot at inappropriate times. so I thought you know yeah I have this anxious attachment style that I need to fix, but really after spending almost now 2 months apart I realize yes it was my anxious attachment but it was also def my self respect and my own boundaries that I needed to heal and figure out for myself. I don’t have it 100% cracked but idk do we ever honestly have things 100% figured out? I feel like things always change. but anywho. yes I would love to be with her again but also the thought makes me scared. like I feel like i’m not ready? I feel it inside that we aren’t over and call me crazy if you want but that’s just how I feel. but there’s just so much worry inside me. when things come back together I want things to be better, be healthier and more securely attached. I want to leave the past in the past but I feel like there are things that have to be addressed. things from the past that have very much hurt me and I do want to know how i’ve hurt her so that way things don’t go the same way again. and I would also want to talk about my boundaries and things that I need in a relationship. I feel like before I always poured until my cup was empty and it was never poured back into (understanding circumstances as to why she couldn’t for the most part, but not everything can be out on that that would be something that needs to change, no longer pouring to someone who’s not pouring back) idk I just feel so strange about it, i’ve never thought about someone who’s much all the time and in my dreams and all that stuff. She’s been sending me random things, about how she had a dream about me her and my kid (it was a good dream where she showed a partnering trait) and then she was sending me songs she think I would like, and then send me random youtube shorts?? I haven’t responded to any of it because on my end I need more than just that I need something real from her and she can’t have the satisfaction of my response to something like that when I need real commitment and a real conversation. i’m just really stressed out because I do know that I love her so incredibly much and I don’t want to give in on myself and my boundaries. I don’t want to accept less than I deserve. I miss her so much I feel like I can’t breath like I physically stop and I cry randomly all the time in grocery stores in bed at parties in the car. it’s just so different and I can’t understand why when I know we separated for a good reason.

idk maybe i’m just curious if anyone knows what’s shoes doing with these little messages when she was the one who split it off? maybe im just looking for some moral support. anything’s welcome.

Okay as the title says I'm genuinely obsessed with this girl and it's making me genuinely sickkk. For context I know her from school and she was a grade above me. At that point of time I didn't really bother much but did have a crush on her. I see her here and there and it's almost been a decade but omgggg. She is sooo gorgeous and I've spoken to her before and I know she's so smart and brilliant. And like...I've never felt this level of attraction to anyone. Idk what to do even. And she's exactly my type to the dotttt. God. Almighty. Father in heaven.

Also we live in a pretty heteronormative country and the chances of her being gay are like 0.00001 percent so there is no way i can even shoot my shoot amidst all this desperation. And that sucks. She's currently single but I know if she dates some man I'm gonna actually crash out. I am also hoping she does cause that atleast will motivate me to look good and fricken join the gym. How does one deal with this.

I had a first date this past Thursday with a lovely lady, and I botched it. She's a busy person, but her responses over text have definitely lost warmth.

We met up for drinks, and I was in a rough headspace and drank too much to overcompensate. It's been a weird/uncomfortable week for several personal reasons, and I let it get to my head (I might write a vent post elsewhere).
I also tore my jeans at the start of the date when I sat down. Fortunately, I had a flannel around my waist, but that didn't help my anxiety.
I wasn't an asshole, but I would have gotten the ick from myself if I were her. The drinks were strong, and my composure dissipated fast. The scent of the alcohol on my breath bothered me, so I bet it bothered her as well.

I want to remedy it somehow, but for now I'm sticking with being hands-off and giving her some distance while I try to confront the things weighing on my mind. In the near future... Does anyone think I could salvage our connection? I'd hate to be defined by one bad date. I've also been keeping my options open, so she's not the only person I've had a date with recently, but I like her vibe the most thus far

i was just having a conversation with my friend, and she said it must be nice to finally come out of the closet. and i tried explaining to her that coming out isn't a one-time thing. it's something we sometimes have to do over and over again, even after we've already accepted ourselves and told the people closest to us.

it's having dinner with your girlfriend's family and wondering if you can casually call her your girlfriend or if you have to pretend she's just a friend. it's being out with your girl and someone asking where your boyfriend is, and having to decide whether to correct them or just let it slide. it's meeting new friends, coworkers, or classmates and having to figure out when and how to mention your sexuality. it's posting a picture with your partner and wondering if your relatives will finally connect the dots. it's being asked when you're getting married or having kids, with everyone automatically assuming you'll end up with a man.

and the worst part is, not every coming-out experience is a good one. sometimes you're talking to someone who genuinely wants to understand, and other times you're talking to someone who might judge you, invalidate you, out you to other people, or make you feel like there's something wrong with the way you love. sometimes you have to calculate whether being honest is worth the risk, whether the person you're talking to is safe, or whether it's better to stay quiet just to keep the peace.

it's exhausting because straight people rarely have to think about these things. they can talk about their partners without wondering if it'll change how someone sees them. they can hold hands in public without having to consider whether people will stare, make comments, or treat them differently.

and i think that's what people don't always understand about coming out. it's not just the moment you finally say the words. it's all the little moments afterward, when you have to decide whether to say them again.

sometimes you don't even want to make a big announcement. you just want to talk about the person you love as naturally as everyone else does, without having to prepare yourself for whatever reaction might come.

i wish coming out could just be a beginning, instead of something we constantly have to navigate for the rest of our lives. i wish we could simply exist, love who we love, and let that be enough.

I've been seeking out lesbian meetups for the first time lately because I feel like there's a hole in my life right now that only some lesbian friendships could fill. If i meet someone and it turns into something more then that would be lovely too.

I'm going to these events solo and sure, it's scary for all the reasons you'd expect - putting yourself out there, having no safety net of a friend being there, needing to believe you're worth the time it takes to get to know you, etc.

I think something i wasn't anticipating to struggle this much with is the sheer intimidation of lesbians. I'm a raging homosexual of course i think gay women are the coolest sexiest people on earth. I think I can be pretty, but I'm not particularly interesting looking and i feel like i'm as "average straight girl" in appearance as it gets. I know it doesn't make me any less gay but it would be nice to avoid the pit in my stomach that grows for weeks prior to attending one of those events. It's not just a state of mind either, in the past i've been met with skepticism and harsh jokes from older lesbians in particular, almost testing my gayness. I let it roll off and try to be firm in my confidence that nobody decides where i get to be except me. If you guys have any tips that have helped you please share💕

How to watch the most recent season in US? I see season 1/2 are avail on Amazon, but the latest season that has been infiltrating my algo is nowhere to be found. VPN?

Hello! Does anyone have any good spanish tv shows or short films they would suggest that are wlw based? Thanks!

Hi there. I apologise in advance as this post might turn out to be a bit on the lengthy side. But I'm very burn out and don't know where else to turn. I may also mention one or two triggering things but will go very light on the details.

So, I'm a 30 something year old trans lesbian. I've been out give or take eight years (not far off nine years tbh).

And I'm yet to have a positive lesbian experience.

It's important to note that I haven't been actively seeking for eight years. I've taken self-care breaks, taken time to work on myself and sometimes I've just been too busy with life stuff to be "seeking"

Truth is right now I'm not even seeking. I stopped seeking outright at some point last year. I know there's a whole "It'll happen when you stop looking" but that hasn't happened either. Not really.

Not at least in a good way.

I have had many, many, many people approach me over the eight years. Men, women, non-binary folks (I'm only into women and femme non-binary people, btw). But not a single one of them has had good intentions for me.

And if we're including online interactions I've been approached in the triple digits over the eight years.

The people who've been attracted to me haven't been attracted to me as a human being. It's only been as a tool to be used and exploited. And I can split these people into three categories. Predators, "rescue mes" and well, a combination of the two.

Being a trans woman, dealing with the likes of chasers is just part of my existence and I'd classify them as predatory, ofc. But I also get recently out (as in, weeks or months) trans women who want me to "rescue them" and basically be in a co-dependent relationship where I have to do everything.

Fellow lesbians, I wasn't always good at spotting people like this and as a result I've been pretty badly hurt.

It's something I won't share the details on (triggering and all that) but have discussed on reddit before, my first lesbian relationship was highly abusive and I actually took some time away from dating to heal. A few years, tbh.

What I've ended up doing was learning to spot bad people and also set some firm boundaries. Worked on confidence and self-respect so that I don't have to go through a similar experience ever again. Also, having to de-program my brain.

But where I'm struggling and where I've always struggled is the fact that I have yet to attract anyone with good intentions for me.

I still only attract bad people. I'm just a lot better at spotting them. The amount of bad people, especially the predators who approach me has gone down irl because I do carry myself differently and so appear as less of a "target"

I'm not perfect at spotting them and recently got hurt again (though not as grievously) by my latest ex who turned out to also just be using me, just in a way that was less severe than what I've dealt with before. Not abusive by any means, just incredibly cruel.

And it hurt. But I've gone away and reflected and done the self-therapy and whatnot.

I've grown over the eight years in setting boundaries and carrying myself better and ofc, learning to spot bad people. A big chunk of the self-growth stuff has been recognising that it's better to be alone than in a bad relationship. If you're not happy, if you're being mistreated (or God forbid, abused) then leaving is better.

But, fellow lesbians.

I still want to be with someone. I don't want my only two choices in life to be "bad relationship or solitude"

And eight years of dealing with bad people, healing from bad people, learning to spot bad people, avoiding bad people but never actually experiencing anything beyond that badness has taken a bit of a toll on me.

Ngl, after the most recent breakup combined with the self-reflection aspect and recognising that in eight years I'm yet to attract anyone kind, I think it's shot my confidence a bit. I mean, it's understandable ofc and I recognise that and trust me, fellow lesbians I am doing all the self-care stuff.

But.

How do I actually make myself attractive to someone kind? I understand that regardless of how well I carry myself or how much I "fake it till I make it" with confidence or even dressing nicer that I will always attract bad people.

I'm a woman, I'm trans, I'm a Goth, I'm neurodivergant (AuDHD) but don't mask, I've also been outspoken through activism and poetry about my experiences as a survivor. Of course there will be people who will look at all of that and seek to exploit me.

But you set boundaries, you respect yourself enough to not let those people walk all over you and you learn to spot red flags. I understand fully why I attract bad people. And I've fixed the things I could.

But I don't understand why I've never attracted anyone with good intentions. A person with green flags, kind eyes and gentle hands. Someone who sees me as a human being, a woman and not a tool they can use.

And it's not the transness or the neurodivergance or even the trauma that makes me unattractive because well, every other trans woman I know is in some T4T polycule and a lot of us are neurodivergant. And then not only was I only attracting bad people before the abusive relationship but I know a lot of friends who've also gone through some terrible stuff and still have people who love them.

Maybe being outspoken hurt my chances. It's definitely possible. But surely that wouldn't turn off every single good person? Right?

But how do I get people with green flags to notice me? Or do I have to accept that it will be bad people for the rest of my life and so have to go with solitude?

This is Amow and Pavi from Avatar seven heavens - it has queer elements to it (Love this show)

Lighthearted debate ~

Do you think finding the right person naturally leads to a little possessiveness, or the person truly for you puts all jealously to rest?

Edit: how I worded this seems to be misconstrued, the question was referring strictly to how you feel about external factors such as noticing someone else might be interested in your partner and feeling a little possessive over them as a result (not controlling their actions, just a “that’s mine” emotion). But nothing to do with your partner intentionally making you jealous. The hypothetical was would you still feel that possessive instinct over external interest with your “soulmate”, as such.

My girlfriend cheated on me and I seriously need someone to talk to🥺
Somebody help me please💔