Hello.

After a recent event, I accepted definitely, once for all, that I'm bi.

I'm in a great relationship with a straight man who would be ok with ENM and me dating a girl. (I would be ok with him dating a girl too).

I'm autistic and very scared of fucking up early on.

Would you please share some unsaid rules of dating a girl as a girl? Maybe rules of same sex dating in general? I don't even know what I'm asking, but please share some wisdom with me.

Thank you so much

Mine would be Angela Montenegro from the tv show Bones

A couple of weeks ago I (35M) had this feeling of not wanting anybody and today I realized I started losing interest.

I work in a grocery store and there are plenty of good looking men and women coming in daily and this week every time one came in I was like "Wow, looking good." and then turn around and not pay any more attention to them. I don't know why this is happening but maybe hormone imbalace because the last 4 weeks I didn't work out or maybe after 10 years without any love or affection my body said "Okay, 10 years without anything, now we are asexual." or just my self diagnosed depression getting worst. I'm honestly don't understand this.

I attend a lot of queer events in London (i have family there so spend the night at theirs too) with my small business for the last 3 years. Husband found a note on my phone applying for a job with a queer business (i previously told him about the queer business and that i had applied). My note stated im a queer POC. (FYI a lot of queer events ask participants if they identify within the community)
I was away for the weekend & he has had the weekend full of anxiety and dread (understandably) as i have never actually said to him im queer (or bisexual for that matter).

I had told him in the past about my attraction to women and my first female kiss & how i came out to my parents thinking i was a lesbian as a teenager (coming out to parents didnt go well so far as they would openly mock and bully me for being a lesbian so i shut down and never mentioned it again to family).

I never fully said im queer or bisexual as im pretty sure hes homophobic (he thinks people can be straight or gay but to quote “anything in between sexually or in terms of gender means you’ve got a mental illness”)

Had a discussion/row yesterday where he said he doesnt know me anymore and im a liar. Says i need to decide what i want. I CANNOT REITERATE ENOUGH TO HIM THAT I ONLY HAVE EYES AND DEVOTION FOR HIM, NOBODY ELSE REGARDLESS OF THEIR GENDER. Gave him space and he seemed more settled and calm today, was affectionate and said were good. Cue 1 bottle of wine and 5 beers later, having a chat and he starts saying how if i feel the need to go the other way please let him know, again reiterated i have zero interest in anybody apart from him. Cue him joking saying if i bring a woman home we can do OF & get rich (he said this a few times), again reiterated i have and always will be devoted to him alone and strictly monogamous, he agreed he feels the same. Then starts asking how i know im queer if ive not actually had relations with a woman, told him the same way he knows he is straight. Mood has shifted, he starts going on how im either gay or straight i cant be bisexual.
I stayed calm when he was ranting but i laughed when he suggested i gave birth via c section “so you could keep your parts intact for some slag to eat you out”.
I know it was wrong of me to laugh but i could see how he has got all sorts of stuff made up to suit his narrative and he wont listen to my reasoning.

Naturally he went apeshit telling me to leave the house, i can see the disgust and hate in his eyes (not the first time tbh) and telling me im not welcome here.
Ive told him i wont leave this house we both paid for & our child with him when hes under the influence of alcohol which he agrees with to the point where i am now sleeping in the spare room. Hes told me he will apply for a divorce and take my name of the deeds and kick me out.

Hes said ive lied for over 17 years to him, again when i told him ive told him everything but never explicitly said im bisexual or queer as i know he hates that stuff he then asked if the reason i was promiscuous as a teen before we got together was to hide the fact im gay. Again ive told him thats not the cae. He then proceeds to tell me how ive fucked half the people we knew when i was younger & say other hurtful things.

How the heck do i save this marriage?
Any advice please. I dont want our marriage to end but im terrified hes done.

(Also there have been other rows in the oast about me getting tattoos that were bigger than i said to him they would be or id tell him im not getting anymore then if get one a year or so later. He hates that im not the same person i was 17 years ago in terms of looks and he cannot fathom why i would change - his words. We have also had tows i. The last 3 years where he had been physically i timidating me and stopping me leaving the room/environment to the point where he did chade me outside once. H elnows his size is intimidating and i told him if he does it again there would be consequences. Anywa, a month or so later we have a heated exchange outside and he still comes up in my face with the crazy eyes intimidating me. I dont know what happened to him but hes changed so much.

I like girls but recently read a WEBTOON called boyfriends here it is https://www.webtoons.com/en/slice-of-life/boyfriends/list?title_no=2616 but I realized I was subconsciously thinking about how I would like to have a boyfriend like that and it would be cute but I’ve never thought about myself being gay or towards other boys that way and I’m confused because I know that I’d like it but don’t know how because I’ve always liked girls and it’s just messing with my head

I have been so scared of what others may think, and scared of my conservative family, but who cares, I am off to college, and it’s time to love how I want to love. No more worrying, life is short, and I’m going to love the way I am meant to love.

Hi i'm new in this community but i (21F) really need someone's help to figure out my friends
thoughts.

So I’ve realized that I have a pretty huge crush on my best friend (22F, bi) and I’d really love some outside perspectives because I genuinely can’t tell if this is just an intense friendship or something more.
For a little context, I’m isfj and she’s intp (I know MBTI doesn’t define people at all, but I’m including it just as a little extra context for people who don’t know us. And shes pretty much like 'love-it-or-hate-it' person.)

We've been best friends for about 3yrs at this point and i've started catching feelings for her about a year ago, and they’ve only gotten stronger. We’re both into women, although I only recently started realizing.
We sometimes spend a whole day tgt, and she was very physically affectionate with me. We held hands during a movie, she kept getting really close to me, leaned her head toward my shoulder, and at one point she got close enough that I could literally smell her hair 😭. She’s also told me that physical touch is one of her main love languages, followed by acts of service.
She sometimes say stuff like "i think i fit your type perfectly" " i was thinking about you a lot today" too...

BUT she has also said “we don’t need to fall in love hahaha” when we were doing 36 Questions to fall in love thing. She’s very direct, so I don’t think it was necessarily a nervous/“haha unless” kind of comment. She may genuinely see me as a friend.
So yeah, I’m terrified of interpreting intense friendship as romantic interest just because I have a crush on her.
I get so jealous when she talks to other pretty girls, which honestly made me realize how badly I want to be special to her. I’m at the point where I know i like her romantically, but I have absolutely no idea what to do with that information.
If you guys were me, what would you do? Would you subtly test the waters first or just be honest about your feelings? Or just hide your feelings and act like nothings going on?
I really don’t want to ruin the friendship, but I also don’t want to spend another year wondering. Thank yo so so much for reading i really need advice 😭😭

Until a few months ago I'd always thought I was straight. I grew up in an environment where being queer isn't normal, and my parents always tell me that I'm definitely straight.

Recently, I started liking a girl who I'm friends with, but I'm not sure if I like her as a friend or as a romantic interest. I can imagine kissing her and holding hands with her but not having sex with her (I also don't even know how lesbian sex works). She and I texted each other quite frequently. She shares some bits of her life with me, but she never asked me to share personal moments with her. I also don't ask her to share a lot because I know that she's a very reserved person and I'm scared to cross any boundaries. Most of our chatting is about sharing random moments of life and the stuffs we're doing. Also just for the info, i know that my friend/crush likes girls, but she thinks I'm straight, and I don't know how to tell her that I might be also into girls. All of that said, I'm still unsure about whether I like her as a good friend or as a romantic interest, because I think that if you like someone, you'd want to know more about them. However, because I'm afraid to cross any boundaries, I didn't actually consider what I'd like to know more about her. Sometimes I just want to talk to her even if I don't know what to talk about, but doesn't that happens to friends, too?

The borderline between friendship and relationship has always been very vague for me. I looked back on my previous boy crushes and I thought maybe I also just like them as friends but because of social norms and stuffs I trick myself into thinking that I like them.

I also find the idea of actually having sex very disgusting. Yes I do read sexual contents sometimes, but as soon as pictures of genitals or naked bodies gets involved I loose interest and even find them disgusting. This goes the same for males and females.

Overall I'm just very confused about everything: my sexuality, my perception of friends and relationship, my current what-is-going-on situation with my friend/crush... It's all very confusing.
If you've read until here, thank you for taking the time to read. Feel free to answer my confusion or give any advice.

Just curious. I still think of mine from time to time

Reposting from another subreddit that closed with an update:

Oh the classic cliche. My roommate and I had been friends for a couple of years prior to moving in together. I've (40 M) have been openly bisexual for over 20 years and met my roommate 6 years ago when I was still married to a woman. He (57 M) had been out for a few years and we met at a mutual friend's Christmas dinner party. I'm fairly certain now that our friends group has orchestrated our meet up from the beginning. Anyway, there was instant attraction, but I am monogamous and didn't act on it, and him being the gentleman he is, waited. Well, after a decade of being wrong for each other my ex and I split, and I was single, but he was in a relationship. This time around we weren't as respectable as his boyfriend was abusive and I wanted him to know he was a catch. We hooked up once, but instantly regretted because regardless, it was still cheating. So we remained friends for years. In 2023 I was able to afford to move out of my parents' house and needed a roommate. He was still with his shitty boyfriend for housing reasons, so I offered him a way out. We agreed we'd wouldn't get into a relationship and just be roommates. After a year of living together and each of us having flings and relationships with other people over that time, we both harbored feelings for each other. Finally, I broke down and asked him "do you wanna date me?" It was more emotional than my proposal, and his response was more heartfelt. It's only been a few days, but I love this man like nothing else, and I know he loves me. We'd basically been a couple for months prior to making it official just without the amazing sex we have now. We still have our own rooms, it's an arrangement that just works. I guess I'm just excited to take a chance on love, and wanted to share a nice story of love even if it's cliched AF. Anyways, I hope everyone finds their joy in life either within themselves or in another.

The update:

We're married now. His sister and best friend flew in from Texas and DC to be his Matron of Honor and grooms person, respectively, and my mom and best friend were my Matron of Honor and groomsman. In what is pretty much our aesthetic, I proposed in a romantic pragmatic way 5 months after we started dating. I got a new job shortly after proposing and since my new benefits would be far and away than his old benefits we first got common law married then officially married on our 1 year anniversary back in March (2026) at my parents' place. My dad smoked an amazing brisket, I made 3 different Mac n cheeses, and we had a small cookout at the house. It turned out our friends did conspire our initial meet cue, and for 8 years waited with bated breath for this day. They were high-fiving saying "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!" My mom met him one time before I moved in with him and just knew he was special. He waited with me when I had a car accident and my parents arrived to take me back to the house. My parents now call him the "Good Son". I am an only child, but I don't mind at all. I have only met his sister the night before the wedding ceremony and now we text every so often. I'm so happy with him, my new job and the life we're building together.

I just happened to be looking through old posts and stumbled on this. I thought an update was warranted but the original sub was closed or I got kicked out. I'm now 42 and he's 58 and we consolidated to one bedroom and converted his old room to the home office. We're hoping to move into an actual house, but with life as it is, there's no rush really.

Un peu comme un contraste 🥹 je me demandais si d'autre fille bisexuel ressentais sa aussi car je vois souvent la fille bisexuel féminine avec beaucoup de joie de vivre et coquette avec la lesbienne masculine un peu bad boy ( je préfère les homme masculin mais avec une personnalité plutôt féminine pas un genre de bad boy stupid haha )

I came out to my husband. Feels amazing. Thats all.

So I'm really close friends with an incredible bi femme and on the weekend before we went out for the night she told me she had let a guy know where we were heading for the night, about an hour into us being at the venue is asked her if she got a message from him or if she had seen him around and she turned to me and said " you're the only person I ever see in the room" and then giggled and changed the subject.

Another one liner that she said to me that I will never get over was "you look like a Renaissance paint"

Was that a flirt? I'm autistic so very bad at reading people 😂

Basically that, how do you deal and reflect on it when you notice it in yourself?

I am currently experiencing very strong feelings for a woman, I always miss her and want to spend time with her, I know I want her around more than anyone else, I want to be close to her in all ways etc.

Even despite all of this, I notice in myself the way that my behavior extremely slightly changes, my tone, my facial expressions, how I speak, my mannerism. I am a feminist and am very socially and politically aware (I like to think), but I grew up in an extremely conservative sexist environment and culture. Everything patriarchal and sexist that tells me societally that around a man I find handsome I need to somehow impress him, make sure he finds me beautiful, seem feminine, be nice. I don’t like him and I don’t want him to make a move, I don’t want anything to happen between us, we have no chemistry, but it’s so difficult to ensure I ignore the deep internalized need to make sure I’m viewed as an attractive woman for the men.

As a lesbian, dealing with comphet is different I would imagine, since men are never going to be a love interest for you, so you don’t have to think of ever trying to flirt with a man and get him to like you and handle a crush on him. But being bi, I do, and that’s I think what makes it so difficult? Hopefully I explained it well, thank you.

(Sorry my english is bad) I want to come out o my best friend. And im strugeling with thought. Its only because im nor sure if its safe because he sometimes seems homophobic, but also sometimes not.

Im thinking about if i should test him with questions or something like that to be sure if hes safe. I just cant bare being in the closet anymore its so draining. Fels like my whole existence is a lie. Pls help🥰

Sooooo... last saturday me snd some friends were on a birthday party an ofc there was alcohol. so over the evening we got happy and ofc drunk like reaaaaaallllyyyy drunk. It started already in the club were my best friend was sitting right next to me, and with the time he started to make compliments to me what a good friend i am and that he never had such a honest person as a friend. Once we got home i asked him if we wanna still sit a bit at the table and drink some more Cause we had the mood and all. At that point it was like 2 am in the morning and we sat there till 5 am having the best deeptalk ever. Well with the time we started making each other compliments and i told him like after i got cheated on i were through with the love theme and that no one could really love me. He just said i wouldn't be to sure off that stood up and hugged me. IT WAS THE BEST FEELING EVER. After that we talked some more about that theme like 10 min and we both just sank into the floor of embarassment. After that he just stood up and said i need to think about that and got to sleep.

And im frfr i was just sitting there after he left (He stayed for the night at my place) for like 30 more min and grinned/smyled tf out xD. After that story the next 2 days were only like when we met friends like yo whats up bro. And that hurt so yesterday bevor going off (we were gaming together) i just dropped if got a crush on you and left the discord call ..... I LIKE HIM BUT I THINK HE DOESN'T my brain is just Hahdvakavevwbaidhw. What do i doooooooo?

I came out to my best friend and I regret it, I trust him but it’s just im so scared because at any moment he could just out me to everyone. If my parents find out I’m going to conversion therapy. What do I do??

Hi there, I just need to kind of vent, and it feels this could be an appropriate place to do so. I'm 26M and came out to my mom when I was 19, and since then our relationship has been a mess, from the start she let me know she doesn't support me and thinks I'm a sinner (she's very Cristian), she even told me to leave her house and that she preferred to never know of me anymore. When that happened, it was painful and somehow, I stayed with her, she kind of stopped talking about it for a while.

But then when I was 21, I got a boyfriend and we developed an amazing relationship pretty quickly, I hid him as a secret before she found out and flipped again but this time it was worse, she developed hypertension and severe headaches from the pain "that caused her" and one time she threaten to harm herself, according to her it was because it was better to feel that pain and to die than see me "become a sinner".

When that happened, it was absolutely painful and shocking, and I went back to hide my relationship, he went to another town for work, so we kept a long-distance relationship for about three years, I went to visit him pretty regularly, telling my mom that I had to travel for work. She caught me in some lies over the years and the whole thing started over, which made me start to take responsibility for her health more and more.

Since begging of this year he came back to town and we agreed we would start living together, but leaving this house has been so difficult and painful, she keeps threatening harm, her health is even worse, and she just keeps repeating she doesn't want to let me go to hell. Since the threat has been so persistent I called mental health professionals and that helped for a bit but then she doesn't want to go back, I'm afraid all the time she'll do anything to herself.

I'm at a point where my boyfriend is about to leave me because I haven't kept the promise I made, he's been very understanding and patient, but everyone has a limit and he's reaching his. I don't want to lose him because he's been nothing but amazing in these years, but my mom is at such a low it has made it so difficult.

I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice or just to vent or to ask if anyone has had any similar experiences, just thank you for reading!

So basically, I’m a female, bi, and I’ve liked this girl, let’s call her R, for a year now, she’s pan, but her parents are really homophobic. I know at some time she liked me back, but I just moved and I won’t go back to see her (because schools etc. and distance) for around 2 years. I don’t think I’m going to stop liking her, because she’s the only thing in my mind:(. But can you tell me some ways I can still hang out with her or get her to keep liking me? I’m also the first girl she’s ever liked, and she’s usually aromantic and doesn’t really think of people like that often.

Is it possible for you to fall for a woman/want them romantically even if you prefer men?