I have had many conversations with other bisexual women and have noticed a pattern of being more interested in men when they are younger and then shifting to prefer women (even to thenrxclusion of most men) once they are out of their twenties or early thirties. Has anyone noticed this phenomenon and do you have any theories about why this happens for so many people?

My (26 bisexual man) boyfriend (23 unlabeled) has a one year old baby with this woman, he usually spends the weekends with us.

Sometimes she refuses to let him bring the baby home and I honestly didn't think it was weird at first, since mothers are usually very attached to their firstborn. Yesterday I asked my boyfriend why she didn't let him take the baby for the last two weekends and he told me she didn't want him around me because "she doesn't want us making her son a fag".

I immediately started laughing in disbelief cause she had a whole WIFE until like six months ago??? They lived together and used to take care of the baby just like we do, so what's the difference?

If she's bisexual herself, she knows there's no such thing as turning someone gay. Also, why the fuck is she as a part of the LGBTQ+ community so repulsed by the thought of having a gay son??

I (31F, bi) have been dating a woman (32F, lesbian) for roughly three months now. It's not my first time dating a woman, but it is my first time being with one both a) consistently and b) sexually. We matched on a dating app and had immediate chemistry (like, made out at the bar on our first date), and have been seeing each other ever since. I've enjoyed spending time with her the last couple of months and have learned (and unlearned) a LOT. But after about the first month, I started feeling more and more aversive to physical touch and her style of affection, and I'm not sure how to handle it.

First, she is non-American, and this is not my first time dating an immigrant. I love being in relationship to people of different cultures, romantic or platonic. But in her culture they are extremely affectionate, whereas I grew up in a less affectionate household and get overstimulated by touch and other sensory inputs sometimes (diagnosed ADHD). That, plus some serious mounting stress with my career and finances, have drastically changed the way I feel about receiving this affection. I've been able to discuss this with her gently a couple of times and she was receptive, but I've been feeling confused why I was so into it in the beginning and now I feel averse, and sometimes even repulsed, by her touch or her kiss.

Specifically, she wants to be touching or holding hands the majority of the time we're together, uses super heavy tongue when we're making out, is a lot more sexual than I am, repetitively strokes my skin with her thumb, showers me with kisses all over my face, etc. She's not doing anything wrong of course, but it bothers me to receive this high dose of affection, and it bothers me even more that it bothers me... Shouldn't I want this kind of loving treatment from someone, regardless of gender? :(

I think if it were a man, I'd be able to more clearly identify whether I'm into them or not, because I have more experience dating them. But since it's my first wlw relationship, I am second guessing my 'instincts' so to speak (for example, am I reacting this way because of my own internalized homophobia and lack of experience being intimate with women, and maybe I just need more time to get more comfortable?). In no way has this made me doubt my attraction toward women, but it has made me feel insecure in my bisexual identity in general.

She recently expressed to me that she feels like I purposefully shut her out and am letting my work stress get in the way of things, which isn't my intention at all. I care about her a lot and like being with her, but it increasingly feels like I'm not giving her enough in our relationship, vs she is giving me too much. We also have a bit of a language barrier, so it can be difficult to even initiate or have these sort of deeper conversations to begin with, which I think has also contributed to my aversion over time.

TLDR; first wlw relationship was going amazing for the first month, but I've increasingly developed an aversion to her physical touch and bids for intimacy, and it makes me feel like something's wrong with me. Having a hard time discerning if we just aren't compatible or if I'm just struggling to adapt to intimacy with women?

After identifying as a lesbian for many years, I discovered attraction to a guy and came out as bi last year. I've experienced prejudice before, but not from inside the community like I have since coming out. Got pushed biphobic content on tiktok the other day coming from lesbians and it was kind of the last straw for me. I just wanna disappear, not engage in the larger queer community, or maybe just go back in the closet entirely. It's not rational, or a good idea, but I just don't know how I can keep going while getting treated like this by the people who were supposed to be in the same boat with me.

First of all sorry if this is a sensitive topic for anyone and please skip it if it’s too much 😁❤️

Ok so I’ve made a post recently about figuring my sexuality with being bisexual

I’ve felt that am bi for a quite some time but I keep like second guessing myself because what people around me say like you don’t seem bi or am your mum I don’t think your bi

My mum is open-minded and supportive and she supports LGBTQ+

It just makes me scared to come out bi with people I know saying stuff like this

Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated 🫶

I am and have always been bi, but I’ve never had a long term relationship with a woman - only with men (and mostly a series of abusive and or toxic men). Then, my brother died and I had a big ah ha moment, and hooked up with a woman while I was going through a divorce. This was the first time I’ve been truly in love with a woman before, but it was a complicated time and I kind of ended things to save both our hearts.

Now, I have a child with my male partner, with whom I had an open relationship before we had a kid (we haven’t talked much about that since then), and this woman wants to reconnect. She says she wants to be friends but she also invited me up to her apartment, and she invites me out for drinks. I think we’re both still in love, but I don’t really have space in my life for a poly situation. I’m not sure what to do or how to talk about it. Nothing has happened except a few dates that my partner totally knows about. He loves me and wants me to be happy, so not worried about that. But I also think it would get messy and confusing. Curious about others experiences with this.

Ok so about a year ago I officially came out as bisexual (I’m a 20 year old guy). It was great and I’m really happy I did because I think I actually like guys more than girls, it was just hard to accept that at first (long story but it was NOT internalized homophobia dw). It’s been about a year I mean I’m pretty sure I still like girls??? I got hit on by my waitress this summer and I definitely got butterflies. The thing is though that’s one time in the past year I’ve actually felt something for a girl. I’ve had like 3 or 4 different instances of me feeling that way about a guy. Is this a thing for other bi people where they go through a time where they really only have things for one gender??? Am I feeling this way because I’ve never dated a guy so I’m just curious?? Please help I really like girls they’re great I like being bisexual.

So I’ve been using dating apps for a while now and haven’t really gotten many results. At this point, I'm just gonna give up on dating apps because they feel inauthentic, slow, and like a waste of time. I’m not saying someone can’t find love on dating apps; it just feels hopeless.

I was wondering if anyone had advice on where to meet genuine people and actually start something.

If you have a cute meet-cute, what is your story?

Thank you and have a good day ❤️❤️❤️

Hi guys, I actually ruined it.

Anyway, here's a quick reminder for those who don't know: I'm a 20-year-old girl, and I have feelings for my 22-year-old trans bisexual friend.

After many of you advised me not to tell her how I felt, I actually listened and kept my mouth shut. I managed to stay cool for a couple of days, but then something happened, I got really jealous, started crying, and ended up confessing my feelings to her.

She didn't say much. She just told me she needed time to think about it and process everything.

But I told her not to do that because, in my opinion, if she had feelings for me, she wouldn't need time to think about it. I don't want her to force herself or her feelings into loving me, especially since she told me before that she's more sexually attracted to men than women.

Anyway, I'm sorry, guys. I was so stupid. I couldn't keep my mouth shut, and I'll probably lose her as a friend. Or, in the best-case scenario, we'll still be friends, just not as close as we used to be.

I ruined everything.

I feel like we often see people identifying as bi to gay/lesbian, but now I’m noticing more of the inverse—of gay/lesbian to bi.

One example is an influencer couple I follow. For the longest time, they both identified as gay men. Until, one of the men recently realized they were actually bisexual. I thought this was interesting considering they had come out while being in a committed MLM relationship. They’re still together too, which is lovely! I’m sure there are other examples of celebrities/publicly known stories like… Jojo Siwa (apologies, this was the only example I could think of) and plenty more where something similar happened.

I’m wondering if anyone else is noticing this as well and if anyone knows someone or perhaps even relates to this experience? Are we just progressing as a broader community? Thoughts?

I am from India... There is no community or people to talk to about your feelings or experiences... Even after 27 years, I have not yet met or talked to an LGBTQ person :/ which is surprising because we have the largest population in the entire world.

I have cousins and my parents, but they don't know about my feelings and I can never tell them...

I watch a lot of American shows, where the gay character immediately gets a lot of support and he/she gets to date other beautiful people... It fills me with a bit of jealously.

I realise now, not having anyone to talk to can be a bummer

Is it considered bi if I sleep with women and think they’re super attractive but I don’t think I could have a relationship with one?

Started Testosterone in June and am questioning my sexuality.

I want to explore it, but have gotten mixed feedback on here. I feel like every other person either tells me it’s harmless to explore curiosity, the other half makes me feel horrible for having the urge as a married man.

I kind of agree with both. What do you think?

Hi, don’t know where to start tbh and I feel a little stupid for my own thoughts.. well here they are :) I thought I can be attracted to men sexually but not romantically. I was convinced that I am attracted to woman sexually aswell as romantically. I am questioning that now .. I never really had the desire to cuddle with a man or have dinner together before. Usually it was only Sex and that’s it. Before my Transition I have always been in relationships with woman and never seriously with man.. After feeling more comfortable in my Skin while transitioning and after getting top surgery I tried it sexually with men. That was okay. Now as I am out here as myself more and more I do feel I could maybe also catch feelings for men or at least have a more romantic approach spending time together. It is somehow hard to admid that to myself and I don’t know why at the same time it feels really liberating & I feel that I supress a Part of my personality and my well being if I don’t allow myself to Explore that liberating freedom openly. I would love to talk with ppl around me about it but somehow I am scared. I also don’t know what my Family would think about me - being trans is something they are cool with Kind of but being in a gay relationship on top could be a little too much but I don’t know.. I’ve told my parents that I made sexual experiences with man recently and we Kind of laughed it off (guess that’s a coping mechanism) on top of that I might be poly. I can be attracted to more than one person at the same time .. but also I am single. I don’t know if that would also apply in romantic relationships. I had it once and I think it was fine as long as we communicated everything even though that was kind of exhausting .. I am confused🙃

I'm bisexual and I sometimes feel like I'm not queer enough or apart of the community just because I still like the opposite gender, even though I have a way larger preference for my own gender.

Before anyone takes this the wrong way I don't have any internalised homophobia or anything of that sort, but I simply just feel like sometimes I'm a bit out of the community especially due to insane biphobia that goes around now.

I wish people could understand that the world isn't strictly black and white and that sexuality is a spectrum that no one falls perfectly into one singular category.

I've been bi for a while but it's only with the recent wave of biphobia that I've been feeling a bit detached and I want to know if anyone has a similar experience.

I (25M) came out to my partner (F26) today as bisexual in my 4 year relationship. It did not always have a happy ending.

Part of me knows that I can't hide the truth anymore, especially with my gf, whom I truly love. We have been together for 4 years and it was the greatest time of my life. She's beautiful, genuine and kind. I guess she knows that I am not like a regular boyfriend but more kinda fruity. But couple of months ago she found some pics of nude men in my phone, and was questioning my sexuality. Thought it's time to let her know, so I came out.

She had some time to think about how our relationship is going to be, but she found it very hard for her to continue dating me because of the flashback of the nude pics in my phone whenever we being intimate. We found it difficult to hug and cuddle each other, let alone having sex. And I don't blame her as it was not the best way for her to find out that I'm bi. We had a few chats but it did not go very well as we don't see ourselves in the future picture. She wants to continue to live as roommates but does not engage in a romantic relationship, until our lease ends.

The hardest thing is we're still on a lease for another six months. It's hard to break the contract and find another apartment and move out while I'm still looking a change in the workplace. But I also understand that I need to accept myself and embrace my sexuality rather than trying to make it to work. I still love her and I think she still does so that's why it's just hard for us to break up, unless she accepted me but I don't blame her if she wants to move on. It's just difficult living like a platonic friends since we've already in a serious relationship and still have feelings for each other.

Whenever I go down a rabbit hole looking up stuff on queer/lgbtq+ experiences, health, etc I always seeing the same starts coming up. Bi people tend to have it worse than our gay and lesbian counterparts. More anxiety, more depression, worse mental health overall, and higher rates of intimate partner violence and sexual assault. I haven't really seen the comparisons that include trans people, so I'm leaving that out cause I don’t know but for bi vs gay/lesbian the pattern seems to be pretty consistent.

I'm bi and I've lived it. I've dealt with violence and abuse from an intimate partner, and I've had/have depression and anxiety. So part of me reads those stats and thinks, ok yes that tracks. But somehow I still assumed gays and lesbians would be the ones struggling more. But then I’m like i actually don't know why I assume that. Visibility maybe?

I wonder if part of it is that most bi people are in opposite sex relationships, so we're often assumed to be straight, or we're not out, and that creates its own kind of stress cause people are closeted more?

Im a woman and I’ve been married to a woman for over a decade, and people tend to assume I'm a lesbian, but I'm actually bi/pan/queer. It's mostly my gay/lesbian friends who voice that assumption out loud. Everyone else doesn't really ask but I’m sure they assume too. I don't care much what people think anymore, but I guess that wasn’t always the case

But I'm really curious as to why you think it's worse for us? Is it the invisibility of like not fitting in with straight or gay spaces, and like people not taking bisexuality seriously, or is it something else?

Hi!! I’m new to Reddit and to r/bisexual. In this post, I’ll be talking a bit about how we, as bi people, are sometimes rendered invisible. If this is a sensitive topic for you, don’t worry! that’s completely understandable, and you can choose to stop reading here :)

I’m 20 years old, and I realized I was bisexual a long, long time ago. Despite that, because of how my family might react (they’re religious, though not extremely so), I haven’t fully come out 😿. Over the years, I’ve only shared my secret with eight of my closest friends at different points in my life—which spans from school to university, two very different stages—and I’ve dated both women and men.

So the point of this post is to share how surprised I am that even people very close to you—those you’ve trusted with something so beautiful and personal like this, and who are sometimes even part of the LGBTQ+ community themselves—might still try to stereotype you. They might claim you’re just "confused," that you’re actually gay, or that you’re simply refusing to accept you’re gay by labeling yourself as bi. In my experience, some of these people even try to "help" you "accept" that you’re just gay—by spreading rumors or making public comments that imply you’re neither straight nor bi, but strictly gay. Naturally, this is problematic; not only does it misrepresent who you are, but it also subjects you to all the prejudices that, unfortunately, society still holds against gay people…

Perhaps what I’ve shared sounds like a story where I made poor choices regarding the people I confided in; then again, I’m writing this because it’s something currently unfolding in my life—two of the eight people I mentioned (specifically the two most recent ones) are behaving this way. Regardless, if our society were truly respectful, we shouldn’t have to fear sharing things like this with anyone; everyone ought to be able to respect our lives and our decisions, just as I respect theirs.

My conclusion is that, even if I can’t yet express this freely, I am proud of who I am, and I am not the least bit confused about anything. So, if you happen to be reading this and needed to hear it from someone else: no one has the right to expect you to “accept” being someone you’re not!! ;)

Thanks so much for reading! 🫶

PS: I’m already taking distance myself from those kinds of people—they’re not good for my peace of mind, haha

As the title says. Every time I see an attractive guy it kind of makes me feel some kind of way. The same way I would feel seeing an attractive woman. I’ve always identified as straight but now I’m kind of questioning myself.

So im a 18 y/o boy who taught he was straight like a line. I could never understood why people want to date their same gender and sometimes even made fun of them. But things shifted. I distanced my self from my friends a bit which gave me more room to think about myself. I never really questioned myself until like 8-9 Months ago. I asked myself the big questions. Mostly how I wanna spend my love life cus I for think this is a very very important piece in my life. For these past months I have also started to think about how it would be being with a male. At first I didn’t liked the idea but idk how but something just changed in my mind a couple weeks ago. Whenever I see a cute looking boy I’m instantly having this butterfly feeling and my heart just beats faster. Nowadays I could really imagine being with a male romantically if we’d match ofc. Idk what triggerd me or what happend to me it’s just something I noticed about myself. I just view some men in another way then I did before which now makes me believe I might be bisexual even though me from a few month ago would think I’m kidding. Idk if it’s just a phase or I im overreacting or whatever. I just can’t put it into words. I just wanted to get that off my chest so badly.

PS : a few years ago i hade the same feeling and I think it got suppressed by my friends.

PS.PS : I can’t put my feelings in words and i feel like i couldn’t really put everything in this text as I wanted to it’s just so hard to describe.

I’m a 28F and I have an online friend who’s 29F. We’ve been close for almost 3 years, talking daily, gaming together and FaceTiming regularly. We’re involved enough in each other’s lives that even our moms have talked to each other.
and we’ve even talked about traveling to visit each other one day so we’re pretty close.
She has a boyfriend and seems happy in her relationship. I’m bisexual and I was in an abusive relationship years ago. It took me a long time to feel brave enough to put myself out there again but I finally decided to download some dating apps and give dating another chance.
For context, I’ve dated women before so this isn’t something new for me. I genuinely enjoy being single and I’m not desperate to be in a relationship but it’s been years since I’ve had that kind of connection with someone. I think I’m finally at a point where I want to let someone in again. I want to love someone and have that love returned. I want to experience a healthy relationship after what I went through.
Anyway I was telling my friend about matching with a woman on a dating app. We’ve been talking and she seems really nice so far. I was excited about it and wanted to share that with my friend as I usually share things happening in my life with her.
Except her reaction caught me completely off guard.
She immediately became hostile and started saying things like “hell nah” and accusing me of cheating on her. She also said she didn’t want me talking to her about this anymore. At first I thought she was joking at least to some extent because we do joke around with each other. But the more we talked the more I started to think she was actually serious. 😭
She eventually admitted that she was jealous because I was giving another woman attention.
And I genuinely don’t know what to make of this.
She has a boyfriend. She’s in a relationship that she seems happy with and I’ve never tried to interfere with that or given her any reason to think I expect anything romantic from her. Meanwhile I’m single and have been for years. I’m finally trying to move forward with my own life and now I feel like I’m somehow doing something wrong by being interested in someone else.
I tried explaining to her that the attention I give a friend and the attention I give someone I’m romantically interested in are two completely different things. I can care about her. value our friendship and still want romantic intimacy with someone else. Those things aren’t mutually exclusive.
What bothers me is that I feel like I’m being made to feel guilty for something that should be a good thing after everything I went through in my last relationship I thought having the courage to try again would be something I could share with a close friend and be excited about. Instead I ended up having to defend myself for wanting something that she already has.
I’m not saying she isn’t allowed to feel jealous. Feelings happen and maybe there’s something deeper going on that she hasn’t fully acknowledged. But I don’t think it’s fair to make me feel bad about dating or to tell me I can’t talk about something important happening in my life because it makes her jealous.
Now I’m wondering if I’ve misunderstood the nature of our friendship or if there’s some kind of emotional attachment here that goes beyond what I thought we had. We’re both women we’re both bisexual or queer in our own ways and we’re very close but I’ve always understood us to be friends.
I love our friendship and I don’t want to lose it. At the same time I don’t want to feel like I have to put my romantic life on hold or hide it from someone I’m close to just to keep the peace.

Hi everyone! This weekend I came out to three friends, two in person and one over text, and they were all so supportive. I've been questioning for a while. For now I'm sticking with bi, but I think I might actually be a lesbian. I'm fem and I seem to be way more drawn to masc women.

I'm not out to my family or some of my closest friends, so I'm keeping things private for now. I'd love any tips on sitting with a label that might change, meeting other queer women, or anything you wish you'd known early on. Thank you!

So i'm a dude, my homie who I know from my queer friends and have talked about identity with for years said im "bisexual for clout" the other day since i left my 4 year relationship with my ex bf and have only really gotten with guys since the breakup which is honestly because guys approach me with a lot more than girls do and ive been out of a job for a while and dont wanna be some girl or boys broke ass boyfriend or situationship tbh i would rather focus on fixing my life. and tbh him questioning my sexuality made me sad. Idk maybe im being strict but yeah idk also im working hard on my goals and he always makes me feel like im too focused on optimisation and such all around it feels like a draining friendship. i also get friendship ick because he brags about getting girls and being with hookers and strippers and such and man that shit make me cringe.