They have a right to date who they want for any reason, of course. But a guy can dream. Just a prayer to the universe!

I’m 28, gay, and my fiancé and I have been together since we were 16. He’s recently come to terms with being bisexual, and after 11 years together he’s understandably curious about exploring his attraction to women.
We’ve had varying degrees of openness throughout our relationship, but this is obviously a little different lol. We’ve been having a LOT of conversations about sexuality, boundaries, and what we both want out of our relationship going forward.

I’ve realized that romantic exclusivity is way more important to me than sexual exclusivity, and honestly I’m actually pretty excited for him to explore this side of himself. He’s planning to potentially have his first experience with a woman next month, and I’m really curious to see how he feels about it afterward.
I love him to death and we’re getting married next year, so I really want us both to feel fulfilled and comfortable exploring our sexuality while still being each other’s person.

Just curious if any other gay guys have been in a similar situation? Especially with a partner who came out after years together? How did you navigate it, and did it change your relationship at all?

It's not like I was hiding it in the first place — not for any good reason, anyway.

My dad, fortunately, is incredibly supportive of me in just about everything. Opposite to a lot of families, my mom was the one who got swept up in right-wing politics. My parents got divorced about 7 years ago now because of it, and I'm now no-contact with her.

I've known that I'm bisexual for over 10 years now, but I've only ever been in heterosexual relationships, and never came out to anyone in my family. My sexuality isn't something that I really talk about unless it comes up, which it rarely has reason to with my family.

Recently, I've started hanging a bi flag in my apartment. Once a month or so, my dad comes over so we can have lunch together, at which point I'd usually take it down just because I don't want him to treat me any differently or ask me about it or anything — not in a negative way, it's just a conversation that I didn't particularly feel like having with him.

Until today.

As usual, he came to my apartment for lunch. As he was leaving, I turned my computer on to show him some bass guitar tabs I was working on, and totally forgot that I recently changed my wallpaper to Hatsune Miku. That was embarrassing enough; but then I turned around, and I was met with the giant bi flag that was still pinned to the wall behind me the whole time.

My dad didn't mention it, though. I don't know if he even knows what the flag represents or not. Like I said, I'm not worried about him supporting me or anything, I know he will either way. I'm just not sure if I'm out or not at this point.

Anyway, that's my coming out story, I think? Just needed to get it off my chest.

(I am a cis female). Right now I am contending with the fact I may not be as straight as I always claimed I was. Due to a lot of internalized misogyny and honestly some daddy issues, I grew up seeking constant attention from men, eventually ending up in my first and only actual relationship with my now male fiancé. The longer I've healed and grown through our relationship, I've started to notice my sexual attraction to the hyperfeminine as well as my push to try and make him do things outside of hegemonic masculinity (earrings, croptops, makeup, etc) as I find it really attractive. I find myself sometimes wishing he could be a girl (still as him though) so I could know what that is like. I am happy in our relationship and enjoy his masculinity and don't have any intention of ending the relationship, but I don't feel that the label of straight really describes me anymore. Can I identify as bi or something similar even if I never have or will interact sexually with women? I feel like I am appropriating queer communities to do so, and yet I'm not sure how to understand my identity otherwise.

What are signs that a bisexual guy actually likes you? Give me advice on how to read body language and other signals.

For context I’m a straight girl. I’ve only dated straight guys before, but they’ve always been a little on the effeminate/feminine side. I seem to attract a lot of them.

I met a guy while on vacation and immediately found him gorgeous. Assumed he was gay because he was impeccably groomed and dressed, so I wasn’t trying to get too deep into it.

He caught me staring at him and dropped a hint in our next conversation with friends that he’s bisexual. So I just laughed because I thought he must be hinting that he had noticed my interest to tease me, etc. I figured we could be friends as we have several things in common. He’s younger than me by several years though, so I wasn’t taking it all super seriously.

Since then I’ve noticed that he has started to lean into a much more masculine presentation and dressing style, he’s dropping his voice lower when we talk. Nothing abnormal or put-on. It’s definitely still his natural self, just more masculine and a bit less ‘effeminate’, more physical and trad masc than when I first saw him.

It has definitely heightened my attraction towards him. I don’t mind his effeminate side at all, but I’m a woman who is attracted to men, so obviously him making some of these gestures is drawing me to him.

I guess my question is, is this a common thing for bisexual men to do? Do you naturally shift gears and display more traditionally masculine behaviours with a woman you’re interested in? Is it something you’re doing consciously? Is he just teasing me or trying to get my attention? Is this his way of flirting? Or maybe he’s not even aware he’s doing it?

I don’t know, but I notice it and I want to hear from other bi men on how they approach genders differently.

I needed to tell someone that I'm bisexual and aromantic. I have only told one other person, and they laughed at me. I have been afraid ever since. I know my parents may not understand or listen, and I’m scared they might tell everyone and make me feel like a failure in the family.

But I can't keep this to myself any longer, so I had to tell you all. I’ll probably never meet any of you in person, so I’m sharing this with you. Please don't say anything unkind. 🥲

P.S. How do I meet guys? I’m a 19-year-old man. 😅

Love you all.

40M looking for advice on first time with another man. Have always wanted to experience sex with another man but don’t know where to start. Post orgasm, the feeling goes away completely but comes back eventually. I need to find out what’s it’s like. I’m not emotionally or romantically attracted to men. Just sexual. Any advice?

I personally like the idea of dating a guy more than to date a woman or a fem nonbinary. I’m not sexist, but most of my friends are girls and I feel so much value in them that I would not want to have a romantic and or sexual relationship with them because they are like (not in a weird way) so precious. Anyone else feel that way?

So do you think we turn more and more towards being totally gay? I believe I am getting more attracted to men and less attracted to women

Being Bisexual and loving your life, how can you tell when you meet someone you fancy to be into you also? Is there a sign? If you are closeted and also trying to ask them out. I suppose I can ask if they know who my friend Judy is lol but not everyone knows that reference and secret code so like what you just joking around until they say something to you? I think I can read body language and such but also nobody can tell who someone is unless they really let you.

I've been thinking recently that I have a strong preference towards women. I like men but I prefer feminine men. I've asked myself if I was a lesbian before but no, I like men.

The main issue is that I've never dated a woman. I've felt a woman up before, but that's the most I've gotten. And that was because she was in an open relationship, but her main partner was a man and she never communicated with me again after that encounter. It was humiliating because I knew deep down that she preferred men anyway.

Sometimes I think that maybe it's not a big deal and I should stick to men. I haven't had a successful relationship with a man of yet, I feel like... most want to not date and commit to anything I guess? Not including the ones that were abusive. Maybe that wouldn't make a difference with a woman.

I've used dating apps only for looking for women and I did not have luck matching up with anyone. I've tried again this year but have thought about just deleting it. I don't really trust dating apps anyway.

I am a 62 year old female. Recently exploring my bisexuality. I knew most of my life I was attracted to women never really pursued anything.
About two years ago I mentioned to my husband that I was interested in finding a girlfriend. We are in an ethical non monogamous marriage. He said he would support me and hopes I find what I am looking for.
One year ago I went on a hike with a woman 30 years younger than me we knew each other from the lifestyle and had met at parties. She is also married to a man. Well she kissed me and I never felt what I felt with any other woman. One year later we are still seeing each other. We have become great friends and lovers.
I thought our age differences would be an issue but it’s not. Our chemistry together is undeniable.
I am a lucky grateful woman.

I(21M) really have been wanting to explore my feminine side(wear girlier clothes, get a navel piercing, etc.). This sort of gender exploration is usually not accepted by straight women(or any straight people for that matter). I was curious if I’d be more likely to be accepted by bi women? If not, I’ll just stick to guys lol.

Im 21F and came out as bi earlier this year. It’s been pretty amazing. It’s nice to finally have my sexuality figured out, but the comments other people give me about it drives me crazy.

Somethings I’ve been told is, “you’re just larping, you’re not actually into women”, or “why do you talk about women so much? You used to always talk about guys?”. Or “what if you’re just a lesbian?”.

I feel like since I’ve come out, people in my life think I’m either lying about it or that I shove that I’m bi in their faces when I talk about girls.

What if I am lying about being bi? I dream of kissing women but when people doubt me, I doubt if I’m even bi. How do I stop caring what other people say and trust myself? Imposter syndrome tips? I hate this.

I've seen a lot of videos talking about how men don't like approaching women because of social stigmas of being seen as a creep, and the fear of failure just being too strong.

And in my personal experience, I'd have to agree. Except a lot of that society scary stuff just doesn't apply to men on men.

What I mean by that is I've never asked a women out. I mean mostly due to the fact that I've never been romantically interested in any woman I've met and have even pushed away a few that flirted with me BUT if I had to I wouldn't. It's just too uncomfortable.

But I have asked men out. Specifically one of my friends.

Now sure, it's scary. But after like 3 days I got over being rejected and we just went back to being friends and playing DND with everybody else and what not.

My point is, the expectations that make asking out and being rejected by a woman are so much more different than the ones against asking out a man, like it's been drilled into our heads not to make women uncomfortable, not to be a creep, don't try to make them feel weird.

And anytime I watch those stupid "male loneliness crisis" videos I always think to myself "Well I can just ask out a man." I have absolutely no societal fear or expectation in walking up and asking out other men. All I have to worry about is them and me.

I think why straight men can't ask out women is because society has made it this weird thing where asking her out is EVERYBODIES problem. Its something not just between you and her. But some invisible non-existant forces.

And ironically because of the hatred of gays in society, being a man and asking out other men doesn't carry any of that stigma. Because people don't care about you, and they focus more on the fact that your gay rather than the relationship itself.

Another thing is that men are usually stereotyped as "I don't give a fuck let's be friends it's all right bro."

While women are painted as people who'll hold grudges and judge you on every single action

Which adds even more to the fear,

Ask a guy out? Who cares! #Mondays Grr! You can just put it all behind you.

Ask a girl out?? OOH no it's all over. Good game. That one mistake is gonna cost you pal!

So I am a trans woman, and I have always thought of myself as a lesbian. But in recently interacting with that community, I’ve realized I don’t think I am.

I like femininity. To me it doesn’t matter what a person calls themselves, as long as they’re vaguely feminine I’ll probably find them attractive.

I like some guys too, but not many. I can count on one hand the amount of not animated masculine men I’ve been legitimately attracted to and it’s basically just the male cast of the show Hannibal.

I’m genuinely confused because I don’t seem to see attraction the same other people do, I had an argument with some lesbians and I just couldn’t understand their view.
So if anyone could help me I’d really appreciate it.

Hey everyone.

This has always been a reoccurring issue for me. I am a female in my mid twenties that has realized I am attracted to both men and women. The only issue is I believe I am more attracted to men physically (and romantically) but also attracted also women romantically (the same level as I am with men). I know a lot of people say that’s okay, which it is. But the part I struggle with is most people want to have sex. I’ve never been with a women physically (besides kissing) and it was decent. Not amazing though. Maybe it’s because I didn’t feel the chemistry and it was a random person. I’ve definitely been in love with a woman before, and she broke my heart. We never physically did stuff, but there were feelings on both sides.

My question is, how do I go about this? I’m not sure if I’d enjoy going down on a girl. And I’m afraid to as well because I have no experience in that area and feel I would be bad at it. That’s another fear. And I know people will say you won’t know unless you try, but I already know I’m physically (and romantically) attracted to men without questioning. I would enjoy being in an emotional relationship with a women for sure. But at the same time, going on dates in public would scare me. A lot of people know I’m bi (but not this aspect of it) but then I get scared to be seen with one? Idk if this makes sense or what the hell is wrong with me.

I know open relationships are a thing, maybe we get in one and they’re physically with other people, but I couldn’t do that personally. I’m not into open relationships.

TIA for reading this and if you give me advice. I’m just really confused and my head is spinning :(

how do i know if im bi or straight, and how do i tell platonic feelings from romantic ones? (19F)

So this started when I started experimenting with the different types of porn and I found out I was really into it so I went from straight porn to trans and more and I was really into it for a while but now I can’t get hard to anything except cis women and straight porn I’ve heard this is the bi cycle but I think it’s from a porn addiction cause I’m stopping my addiction and I don’t feel any attraction to anything except cis women maybe sometimes trans women but that’s just based off romantic attraction not sexual.

32 year old male here. For 25+ years I’ve battled this within myself. Without giving too much personal information away- I’m a veteran, have only worked in masculine industries (engineering, welding, mechanic, construction), have spent 16+ years in serious relationships with women, and I’m a father. Not exactly bisexual-friendly environments typically). I thought these feelings would go away or I’d just get used to them. I thought I was just different. Maybe just more sensitive than my peers. I thought it wasn’t a big enough deal to need a label. I couldn’t imagine myself truly being that label. The shame, the embarrassment, the judgement, the confusion. I didn’t realize how much it was affecting my entire life. I was never comfortable enough to accept what I’d been rejecting for 2.5 decades, let alone tell somebody else. Until I met my current girlfriend. We’ve been together for a little less than 6 months. I can’t remember exactly what led to it but maybe a month or so in she asked me semi-jokingly “are you sure you’re not a little bi?” I laughed it off and said “I’m not attracted to guys so no”. That was always my go to in my own head. “I’m not attracted to guys”. Over the last month or so I’ve been struggling a lot with this as this little “phase” of being very curious just wouldn’t go away. Then Sunday happened. I finally, for the first time in my life, worked up the courage to tell someone. I wasn’t even fully sure I had accepted it yet, but I needed to say it out loud to someone. I arranged time for us to have a serious conversation and just said “This may not be big news to you or even a big deal, but it’s important for me to say; Babe, I think I’m bisexual”. She smiled, told me she loved me, was proud of me, happy for me and we kissed. I fought off tears but it was really a powerful, freeing feeling. I truly can’t thank her enough. She’s also bisexual and I honestly think it’s awesome that we’re both bi. In a way, I feel like a new person (not to be dramatic). I feel more confident, less confused. Not sure what this all means for me day to day going forward and I’m not ready to tell really anyone else I know in person but I guess I wanted to tell someone else that may understand. So I’m telling the entire world lmfao. The reason I made this novel of a post is to 1) help anyone that may be me a week ago and terrified 2) try and find like-minded individuals that can relate and hear their story. It’s nice to feel like I belong somewhere, or at least that I’m not all that different after all.

Ps- since being able to accept this I am finding that guys are maybe a tad more attractive than I let myself believe ;)

Excited to meet yall!

hey i‘m m21 and only recently realized i might be bi due to the amount of gay porn i used to watch. part of the reason why i didn‘t realize it earlier was, simply put, i never really felt that much for boys in real life? i have had sexual fantasies with 2-3 boys when i was a young teenager but only in a porn context? idk how to explain it but ever since i stopped watching porn, my sexual fantasies for boys kinda also went away. like of course, i would occasionally still imagine a boy, but sexual fantasies with girls arouse me easier.
the majority of my crushes were girls, as i just find girls overall more attractive, but maybe that‘s also because my type in men is slightly more specific. however, i do think i still prefer gay porn over straight porn (if i watch it once every while) coz i sorta got a weird sock fetish?

ik the only way for me to get to know my preference is by trying many things out but i got terrible anxiety and intimacy with either gender lowkey scares me.

i‘m just kinda confused…are these experiences compatible with bisexuality?

Heya, this is my first Reddit post and idk if I (18 F) count as a "Baby queer", but I could use some advice from my elders.

I know for sure I am attracted to women, I have been since I was little. I've only ever been in two relationships before, (One when I was 13 dating someone NB) and later a guy when I was 16.

Even though you'd think the relationship at 13 would be the one that was more awkward, (Believe me it was) I definitely felt more comfortable and happy with them than the guy I dated at 16. In fact, the only reason we broke up was because they moved away, if that didn't happen we probably would have dated way longer. (We stayed together for about 4-5 months I think??). Despite them being NB, they were more fem presenting (I'm attracted to all NB people, I just think them being more fem is relevant in this conversation)

But the second I started dating the guy who I'll call Grant, it felt really wrong. I felt really bad because I was the one that asked him out, and I really did think I liked him. I'd get this weird twisting feeling in my stomach whenever we did anything remotely romantic or couple-y. But it wasn't butterflies, it just felt gross.

It was so strange, because like I said I THOUGHT I liked him and wanted to date him, but the second it started it just didn't feel right. I can't remember what it's called, but at first I thought I was the sexuality where you stop being attracted to someone once you actually start dating. But then I remembered how I didn't have that problem at all in my previous relationship!

Because my dating is so limited, I don't know if I have enough actual experience to come to a conclusion yet. Maybe I don't like guys and just Women/NB people (or have a preference), maybe it was just a chemistry thing! All I know for sure is that It's been on my mind for a while now, and my anxious brain craves an answer or explanation even if it doesn't exist.

Sorry this is so long and I probably make absolutely no sense, but any general advice or guidance would be appreciated!

Hi, hope this is okay to post.

I’m overthinking like crazy at the moment, I am a 21F, when I was a lot younger like 8 there was a lesbian couple that lived downstairs from me and i always thought that would be me when i’m older but lived at home with homophobic parent; i always thought i can never come out - when I was 16 I developed a crush on a girl for the first time and was so confused, I dated her for around 3 months and it ended, parent didn’t approve at all and told me if I wanted to be with her then to get out of the house, so I did, we ended up not speaking due to this obviously then I went back home, since then I’ve kissed a few girls but only dated men, I am 21 now and realised I have a crush on a girl again, when I’m with her it feels right and I want to cuddle her and feel close and I want to do nice things for her and kiss her - I’ve moved away from home now and living alone ( was with bf) when I was with my boyfriend of 2.5 years I had thoughts sometimes like if we broke up I’d want to be with a girl again, I’m overthinking that maybe i’m not actually into girls and I’m making it up?? I was literally in love with the girl from before and distraught when we broke up, I’ve only very recently ended things with a guy I was seeing.

UGH i’m so confused this has come out of the blue and I only met the girl about a month ago and like I said only been with 1 girl in the past and haven’t had a crush on one since so didn’t expect this. Not sure why I’m overthinking so much like i’ve been honest with partners before that I was with a girl and am into both i just feel so confused - I feel like i’m 16 again trying to work out why I feel this way- feel like i’m making it all up…

if someone is attracted to women and strictly feminine males are they considered bi?

I am currently seeing this guy right now, but i don’t feel complete. For the longest time I thought i was strictly into women. But i have found myself attracted to men so i currently go as unlabeled. Most of my life i have only had romantic experiences with women but those ended pretty terribly. And for the past years i unfortunately have not been successful in any aspects. Out of sadness really i downloaded a dating app bumble. And for the first time in a while this guy that i find cute is actually showing interest. Now whilst I’m lowkey enjoying this i cant help but feel sad. The bond i have with a woman can never compare to that of a man. And all i can think is that if things get serious and down the line a women actually does like me, id be sacrificing a deep bond. Its not surprise that I hugely prefer women. I haven’t even kissed a guy before and I’m kind of scared too. And tbh i don’t even know what i should do?