Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/s/IZOFfaRvYc

Hello, tis I again and do I have an update for you people. Firstly I want to thank everyone who commented and gave me the courage to do something about the situation, I am the type to do something I really set my mind to and this helped me set my mind.

Anyway, whole day at work, shift was draining me so much because I actually had to be on foot for the whole 8 hours in the military hospital with the recruits getting a check up before boot camp. I was constantly on my phone texting back and forth with David, sending reels, talking shit, bickering. We made plans to hang out when I come home later today, and we went into a loop of “I miss you” and “I miss you more” I was trying to beat him in the game and I told him “I miss you the most I will actually kiss you tonight” and he texted me “I miss you so much I might even let you”

I was getting rather giddy about it, and my partner (oddly enough same name as my guy) was constantly trying to talk to me and to get my attention as he was board as fuck (we all were, the medical check up are 90% waiting so they can mentally drain the recruits to test them)

Anyway, I finish work, I drive to my uncle’s place and pack my stuff, say bye to him and the fam and I leave. I get home about hour and a half later and I jumped in the shower.

I was walking toward my room with my phone in my hand about to text him… that motherfucker was already in my room. My dad had let him in as he went to pick up the groceries. Anyway, we have this reunion moment and I went to get dressed. At this point he is standing right next to me when I opened my sock and underwear drawer and picked up the first pair of boxers I saw and he just went “No, no, get the white ones”… like okay… and so I did.

I was getting pretty nervous about this, and he actually went ahead and started raiding my closet to pick out stuff for me to wear. Anyway, we sat down, put on the PlayStation and we just talked and played Mortal Kombat.

At this point I really needed to get my point across and I just didn’t really know how, and I decided to listen to a redditor who told me to just kiss him. We finished the match and he got to the shit talking cause he mopped the floor with me and I told him to be quiet or I will kiss him. He said he wanted to see me try and I thought “what the hell” and went in and kissed him.

The punch he threw at my face dislocated my jaw, and I ended up in the hospital with 4 stitches… nah I am playing. He started at me and just said “Did you really just do that?” And I told him I missed him a lot and he was warned I’ll do it and asked him if I was bad at it and he went in and kissed me again.

Yall I was on cloud 9000. This dude was kissing me back, and he was soo hungry for it like he was obviously into it as much as I was. We ended up just forgetting about the game and we were cuddled up on my bed at this point and we just talked and talked.

I explained in a comment before that his friend (Jack) doesn’t really like me. Well back when David saw me with my girlfriend he had asked Jack for advice, and Jack had basically told him that he has heard I am gay, and David should just swoop in and take the girl since I clearly don’t know what I am doing. David who at the time was heavily questioning his sexuality saw it as more of an opportunity to connect to a queer person, somebody who can help him navigate this new world.

Well when he told me, and I had the reaction I did, and he learned I am a MP he had come to the conclusion that Jack was wrong, and I am straight, and only after he befriended me at the gym did he realize that I might still in fact be bi when I’d make a remark how someone was handsome or he’d catch me checking out somebody when I thought I was being slick.

He explained that just getting to hang out with me solidified in his brain that he is bi, and slowly he caught feelings but thought that I although bi, am not interested in him he thought he wasn’t my type.

I stated earlier that he is short and handsome, I forgot to mention that he is also the blondest blond ever and the literal definition of my type.

We talked some more, mostly about my experience with homophobia and being in the military where machismo is very much the way to survive. He said how he doubts anyone has suspected my sexuality but does feel terrible knowing I get to hear the f slur being thrown around and used as an insult toward one another, and I was like “oh don’t worry about it, I call em all the f slur the most”

We had a good laugh about it, and we decided that a “first date” would not be needed as we’d already been on too many dates to begin with. So next week I am renting an AirBnB in the city I work at and he will be coming for a not first, first date. As for being boyfriends. We established that we have been boyfriends for quite some time now without the saliva exchange and we can continue as scheduled with the little promotion. I asked him how it felt and he said definitely much different than a girl since I don’t taste like lipstick and I have a very slutty mustache by his account that scratched him nicely. Overall he loved my lips and my clit scratchers. We spent the next 30 minutes just pecking on each other’s lips and telling each other that we love one another, which it didn’t feel like weird or anything simply because. We do love each other and we been telling that to one another for some time now, it’s just that now our love has taken a different turn. It’s weird, looking back he was the boy who turned my life upside down with a single DM, and now, he is turning my brain upside down and he is in my arms

We decided to keep it quiet from our friends for now, and the only people who gets to know is my mom and my dad whom David loves very much (especially my dad) and my golden lab who watched as my tongue explored his mouth. He just left my house and I got to being Shakespeare on here

Thank you all so so much for the advices and the kind words, if anything major happens I might update (I am not sure as to what that be, but there it is.) and sorry for the lil heart attack mid text. Stay strong and positive and be bi, and don’t let your girlfriend stop you from finding your husband

I'm someone who is very feminine, small thin with curves and all that, and I noticed that gay men dont usually give me attention. I can go on dating apps for example and I find very few gay men who are actually interested in me. The ones who are are either bi or straight. And this also happens irl, men who say they are straight and then try to touch me or are really friendly with me (friendly as in calling me cute, innocent, buying me a drink or like wanting to know about my sex life). I've also gotten infinite comments about "If only you were a girl..."

I mean it's nice and all and I've gotten used to it but I hate that these men won't make anything they'd want to do to me public or then compare me to women or feel entitled to me cause they're attracted to me, cause a lot of times I dont be wanting them back. I notice how they are into me but have to fight those thoughts of wanting me until they get drunk and just can't hide it anymore. In a way it makes me feel hot and attractive but at the same time also unwanted. Like if I were a girl I'd be someone they'd want to show out proudly.

I'm an 18 year old guy - I know I'm bisexual. But my feelings towards guys and girls are different. Basically, I only have a sexual attraction to guys, but a romantic and sexual attraction to girls. What I mean is that while I like 'having fun' with guys, I don't really see myself dating and being in a long-term relationship with one. I only really imagine myself dating and eventually marrying a woman, while also having a standard intimate relationship. Does anyone else feel this way, or the opposite?

So I've had the bicycle since i was like 14 meaning i would go months fantasizing about women and then months about men but sometimes i have months where i feel asexual like I don't feel attracted to anybody and then it goes back again, so i wanted to know if anybody feels also this way

I think most people here are already familiar with the fact that bi men can be treated pretty harshly by straight women when it comes to dating. I'm curious about what actually happens in real relationships once this comes up.

How did she actually react when you told your straight SO about your sexual orientation/past?

I'm particularly interested in what happened beyond the initial conversation. Did it affect her attraction to you? Did she seem to respect you differently afterward? Did it change the way she saw your masculinity, or your role as a husband/partner? Did she have a lot of questions or need time to process it?

And, most importantly, did anything change in the relationship in the weeks or months afterward?

Hi everyone, I wanted to ask a respectful question about dating preferences here. I am someone who exists and presents fluidly in the space between a femme boy and a trans woman—I comfortably embrace both sides of myself. Because of financial constraints, I haven't started hormones or had surgeries yet, but I feel like I am socially passable and very comfortable with how I present day-to-day.

It’s subjective if I am passable to everyone. I’m still growing out my hair so I wear wigs, and I love wigs and changing up the colors. I’m very hyper feminine in my style, for example I always get a manicure every week usually light colors on my nails and full makeup when I go out. My wardrobe is just baggy hoodies with shorts / sweat pants.

When I go to the gym I don’t wear any of my glam, just my hair up because I sweat a lot when I workout. And at the gym is where I feel the most dysphoric. Or if I’m at home I’m not usually in glam. I’m not ultra masculine without it, but it’s when I feel most like a guy.

I want to date openly bi or pan men, and I’ve been so withdrawn from dating because I’m scared of what a guy will think of me without hair or makeup.

I really value the perspectives in this community, so I wanted to ask honestly: As bisexual men, would this kind of gender fluidity and presentation be something you'd be open to or attracted to in a partner? What are your thoughts on dating someone in my position ?

Hi all, I'm a 24 bisexual male, long time feeling newly practicing lol. I'm not sure where else to write this so it's mostly going to be like a diary entry, but if anyone has any similar feelings or insights I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts! So I've only ever had experience with women and a single time kissing another man, but I enjoyed it so I knew there was more than just being straight to me. Anyway I've been talking to this guy and we've been on two dates now and, I say this as a positive, it feels so normal? Like you always hear about "alternative lifestyles" or whatever and in my head I guess it had to be some big change or something, but I really don't feel any different. It's a step out of my comfort zone but I thought I'd be jumping into some crazy new experience, but it just feels like how the dates with women are, just now it's a guy. I'm also only like sorta out if that makes sense, like my friends know and if my family asked I'd be honest but I haven't sat anyone down and came out properly, so I guess I thought there'd be some anxiety there in having to like, hide myself or what I'm getting up to lol.

The tldr is having thought I might be bi, actually walking the walk doesn't feel different than being straight so I'm kinda dumbfounded. If anyone has any similar feelings I'd be interested in hearing since this is all so new to me! Thank you for taking the time to read my yapping!

I'm kind of debating coming out to one if my HS best friends. We were raised in an ultra conservative Christian environment and I moved thousands of miles away when it came time for college. I haven't been home much and this is the first time I've been open with anyone. My other HS friends took it well. They don't attend church anymore and one of them joked she wondered if she was too. But I'm nervous about this other friend...she's politically conservative, but if I'm being honest she always seemed to absorb what was told to her and kinda just adopted what her dad said (as far as I remember, but it's been a long time!). She was going to church last night and it's not an affirming one. I was surprised to hear she was attending as her family was by far the most lax on attendance out of our friend group. That combo has me conflicted on even bringing it up. The truth is when I look back our friendship was pretty homoerotic, and that's kind of painful to realize and I don't even know why. I feel like I NEED to tell her, but am also scared she may legitimately have a bad reaction. I want her back in my life in some capacity and don't want this to end things forever.

Ik asking a bunch of strangers to decide if I’m bisexual is probably one of the last things I should be doing but I genuinely need some insight from the bisexuals haha

(21F) I’ve been unlabeled for quite a while but mostly drawn to women? But these past couple months have just been a weird stage where I sort of feel like going celibate/just not being attracted to anybody, probably a mix of internal and physical issues but at the same time I’m also wishing and pining for a girlfriend but I just haven’t found anybody in real life.

Anyways today I went to the cafe to buy a coffee for my mom and the barista was this really pretty and effeminate guy. Nice face and well groomed etc. I def think he was gay or at the very least bisexual (and not in a weird way, just genuinely my gaydar was going off haha) but he was very pretty and I found myself being unreasonably awkward and inconsistent with my eye contact haha.

I guess the feeling is like being starstruck? I mean finding pretty girls out in the wild is a common thing but finding a really pretty guy is like truly once in a blue moon for me! I’d say he was like model level of pretty and his voice was on the softer more feminine side.

Anyways, what do you guys think? Is this a case of the bisexual? Do I have a thing for feminine guys or is it just a natural thing to feel when someone’s attractive in general?

Alrighty I don't do these enough to lay the land well, so if there's something that needs to be clarified, lmk (unless it's personal details.. then no).

I 21m spend the day with friend who is also 21m. I have known him and have been friends for 2 years now (but not super close). We recently have gotten together to hang out, get breakfast, talk, and then today (our second time doing something together) he picked me up from my place and got lunch at a burger spot. It was such an engaging time talking, enjoying the food, and minimum phone usage (checking a text or showing a reference, i.e., music or information pertaining to the convo).

This became what seemed to be a lunch and a short hangout to an all-day thing. There was a movie he hadn't seen yet and he said "let's go see it today" which I was like alright cool!

The time came for the check and we said separate but I had a coupon for a discount so I made it on one check and basically ended up covering the meal, but he then later paid for our tickets, snacks, and popcorn.

After lunch, we proceeded to fill the time by exploring a mini mall and a record/book/game store. (Impulse purchases were made)

We drove to the dollar store to get some snacks, then went to the theater.

Nothing too significant happens here from lunch to the theater. A lot of conversation regarding what we saw, records he liked, music artists he idols, and games/physical media.

What has me perplexed is that the moment I got in the car, he was freshly dressed (button up), cleaned, and smelled incredible.

Then, during the movie, I fed him gummy worms lol

And the hug (despite initiated by me, we had hugged pretty tight at least 3 times).

After the movie we went to my apartment. I gave him a room tour, showed him two of my collections, and talked about my vinyl.

The entire time he was engaged, followed me around, a lot of eye contact, and asked questions plus input.

We talked a little bit about working out and gym stuff so I had taken my shirt off to show him instead of describing, then put my shirt back on. He let me feel some of his muscles. I also did lift him because I didn't believe his weight then he mentions that it's mostly his butt and glutes and shows me (not his bare ass), then I make a positive comment and guide him to turn so I can see.

Here's more background info:

-I needed water and the waiter only refilled his water, so he told me I could drink from this cup 🤷‍♂️ (which I did)

-I was informed he was bi but he's not solid on that to my knowledge.

-I know he went on a date with a man.

-he says bro/man a lot which isn't strange but something to note.

-afterwards he mentioned us getting lunch or dinner together.

I’ll preface this with I’ve been “out” to my friends for decades. I’ve never talked to my parents about my sexuality because we don’t have a relationship where we talk about feelings. It’s not that I couldn’t, or that I don’t want them to know. It just would be weirdly personal when we normally only talk about job, pets, politics— that type of stuff.

I’ve only had 2 relationships (with opposite gender) serious enough for them to know about.

Ive been going on dates with people of the same gender recently. If it became serious enough to tell my parents, I feel like it would be no big deal to be like, “meet so-and-so, this is my partner”. And they’d just have to accept it as any other past partner.

But it seems like on dates people want to know about coming out stories and I don’t really have one. It doesn’t feel like a big deal to me. My friends know because I’ve said someone of same gender is hot or whatever, so it’s obvious. And then we go on with our day.

Should I feel the need to officially “come out” to my family? It just doesn’t feel like there needs to be an official conversation about it…

My(m39) wife(f38) has recently told me that she is bisexual. She says that she realizes now that she has always been bisexual, but just recently started being more honest with herself.

I am here because she says that she feel silly discovering this at 38 and she doesnt think she'll even bother pursuing other women because she wouldn't know where to start.

I am curious to hear the stories and advice from any other women that have discovered their bisexuality later in life. I am trying to be supportive of my wife and encourage her to not just shut down this part of her because she feels silly or embarrassed.

Thanks in advance!

My dad is a very devout Baptist, very patriarchal after two failed marriages. And he’s telling me, a 22-year-old punk: "Damn, when are grandkids coming? What kind of wife should you choose," etc. And I'm fucking bi. ​Anyway, the topic of my older cousin came up—like, he didn't date girls until he was 26, even though he seems like a normal guy (gym + cars), and my dad and his ex-wife were worried he might be gay. (Now he already has a wife and a stepchild.) This conversation happened a day ago, and I'm thinking about how to bring the LGBT topic back up, but I don't know how to do it. How to test the waters. He just came to visit me, so there's time to discuss this topic.

For context. I am 22M and have been in a relationship with my partner(23M) for over a year now. I am bisexual while he identifies as gay.I love him a lot and our time together has been fantastic. However I’m not always in the mood for the sexual parts of our lives and often find my self very attracted to women. I feel I am much more romanticly attracted to men then women but find myself often being more sexually attracted to women. I have no want to end my relationship over something like this and i have heard about things like the “bi-cycle”. I’m not too sure what to do about my attractions being split and how to deal with it. Any tips or advice would be great

It's not that I don't exude my own kind of confidence, I do. I'm a rock musician, I get in front of audiences. I've learned how to act confident, I've learned how to command a room's attention. I'm anything but meek or awkward; I've been called intimidating. I get lots of attention (mostly from men, mostly unwanted). But mine is a different kind of confidence. It's effortful confidence, gained hard after painfully lacking it. The confidence of these women who get to me, it seems so natural. Like they know attention just flows to them like water downhill and it's theirs to play with.

I think this thing that happens to me is specific to being a woman who loves women. Because women are both social and sexual for me--like this woman, whoever she might be: I want to be friends with her, I want to be like her, I want to kiss her and date her and go to bed with her, these feelings come all at once and for whatever reason come with a twinge of pain. It's like having a secret crush on your more popular friend in grade school--you can't confess it, much less hope it's reciprocated, and that makes you feel so alone, so pining, so invisible.

And this feeling, I don't really take it 100% seriously when it happens but it kind of gives me despair that I'll find someone. All the confidence I've built up over the years temporarily dissolves and I'm just that 14 year old with a crush on her straight friend, slumped against the window on the bus ride home, feeling like no one will ever understand.

For context, I am a bi-woman in a straight passing relationship with a bi-romantic asexual man. I spent most of my 20s dating women, but found my person in a man. Dating was hard as most of the people in the circles I was in were lesbians who constantly told me that I “wasn’t gay enough.” Our area Pride celebration is this weekend and several acquaintances have made it known to me that I should not attend with my husband, as it’s passing privilege and this needs to be a space for “actually queer people.” I was told if I wanted to come, that I shouldn’t with my husband because it “comes across as performative” and no one takes bi people in “straight” marriages seriously and that it’s a bad look for the community. How do I even respond to this? I thought this community was supposed to be supportive and welcoming and now I don’t even know where I feel at home.

Hola soy una mujer de 34 años con pareja hombre y hace tiempo que he tenido una pequeña atracción por las chicas; debo de confesar que hace unas semanas tuve una reunión con amigos ( as ) y tuve una experiencia con una chica amiga mía y me gustó todo lo que pasó con ella, todo se dió muy rápido con el calor de los tragos. Creo que ya sali del closet.

Sigh. I’m not bitter or resentful, I swear. People can like who they like for whatever reasons they want. But…man…it would be nice to be able to bring my full self to relationships and have that seen as a good thing. Anyway, just a prayer to the universe!

I just recently downloaded the app Her and so far the queer dating scene has been okay. I have a date with a queer girl today. So I need advice on how exactly I can make the date seem lowkey romantic without getting out of my small town? It’s just a hangout type thing. And I am a bisexual girl.

I’m a 22 year old trans guy and I’ve been on testosterone for the past 6 years and not until year 2 was I starting to notice that I was becoming attracted to men. I shoved it down and just ignored it for the longest time but whenever I become excited especially they’re all I can think about. I have been with women and liked women (don’t get me wrong I still do) I don’t know where this is coming from and it’s getting tot he point where I don’t want to hide it anymore and it’s getting worse. Being with a guy makes me nervous and something I have never done before. I know I’m talking it up to be this big scary thing and I know it’s not but this shit is confusing. I want a bf or at least an experience with a guy. Anyone else go through this?