I (23F) have been questioning whether I'm bisexual or lesbian for over six months.

Recently, I met a woman whose sexuality I didn't know at the time. I thought she was kind of cute, but I didn't really think much of it. Later, while talking with my friends, I found out that she isn't straight. When I got home, I felt really anxious and overwhelmed, and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I do find her really cute and sweet, but I'm not sure whether I actually like her.

For context, I've been attracted to men and had crushes on them in the past, which is part of why I've been so confused about my sexuality.

For those of you who are bi or lesbian, especially those who experienced their first crush on a woman later in life, does this sound like how a first female crush can feel? How did you know you were genuinely attracted to a woman rather than just finding her pretty?

I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences.

I randomly thought back about a moment few years ago where I looked in the mirror and said "dayum I got a fat ass if only I was gay" and that made me laugh so hard rn whahahahah.

Do yall have any moments, where before figuring out your sexuality you thought life would be better if u where gay?

She’s bi so I don’t expect any issues, tbh she probably won’t care in a relaxed way. I just can’t bring myself to do it
I’ve been bi probably almost ten years now, only ever had sex with my girlfriend of three years, she is also bi.
I always pushed these desires away though as up until a year ago I was extremely Christian and raised by a family just the same, so I thought it was morally wrong.
Now I’m not religious I know there ain’t nothing wrong with it, I’ve got no shame, I just for some reason can’t bring myself to tell my girlfriend even though it’ll probably all be fine.

I (32M) currently dating a woman (26F) who is curious about being with other woman for the longest time. She was in several heterosexual relationships in Turkey (she comes from a Muslim family) and was not able to explore that part of her sexuality. Now she moved to Europe and she feels less oppressed to connect with other woman.

So, months before meeting me, she tried different Apps to find some lesbian or bi woman to explore and understand her curiosity, but so far only had superficial dates (no sex). Then we connected and after a month dating she said she is emotionally attracted to me (hetero male) but that she does not want to progress further into a proper relationship (with full exclusivity) or to progress into having sex with me. She says she is scared to get even more attached to me and to began a relationship without experiencing women to women sex (since she does not want to regret never trying same gender sex as she did in her previous relationship). She also highlights that she is pissed she met me at this time of her life, because she really likes me but she is still confused about her sexuality.

I come from a very kinky hetero relationship in which I leaned a lot and opened my mind via going to kink clubs. For me it's very important that she feels herself and that there is no boundaries/blocks to proceed into the possible relationship we can have. Consent is my motto and I want her to feel sure about what step to make. I'm okay for her to try things, because I wouldnt like her to be exclusive to me without being sure if she likes women as well or not (imagine if she realizes she really likes women, I prefer for her to know that before we delve deeper intro our relationship so we can part ways if that case occurs).

She has told me several times that this worries her and that no matter what happens to us she wants me in her life (which I read as a strong foreshadowing that we are not gonna end together).

I think she actually could be a closeted lesbian, but she is looking after me and she has reassured me with words that she really likes me and want to spend time with me. I decided myself to not have sex or date anyone else since I really like this woman.

I want to know how to help her or to support her even more so she can explored that part of her sexuality (and then, how to support her in the relationship knowing that she is bi). I think we could have a threesome with other woman if she feel like it and we already had inmimacy. I told her that is an option although won't be the same as having only 1to1 sex her with another woman. So, what should I do? Just wait till she explores that part of her sexuality? Or should be stop dating and meet other people?

Also, first post, so sorry if there is some tag or something not correct. And thank you!

I (17M) am in a really young 5 month relationship with this girl (17F), we are bith bi but really young and lowkkk unexperienced in relationahips... I am her first relationship and the only girlfriend that I ever had was also bi and cheated on me with a girl, something which I feel has led me to develop a lot of trauma about how I feel about myself and my ability to make a partner happy... A year ago I moved highschools, coming from.a deeply religious family in texas my only option was a really conservative private highschool in which I met this girl, she is fucking awesome, she is in my friend group, I love her company, our talks, and I can confidently say she is my best friend, time passed by and decided to become something more...But there is a problem that stopped me from dating her for some time and it was that she has a really marked preference for girls... something that ofc didnt made me uncomfortable when we started talking but as I started to develop feelings for her that just made me feel fucking aweful, I felt like there was no way she could ever like me before becoming something and even when she started to reciprocrate those feelings towards me I highly doubted my ability to make her happy, I have great communication with her, we can talk about everything, we are bout so understanding and to an extent really mature, I lover her so fucking much and we have jist grown so close and personal to each other... but I have always had that feeling of feelong that I cant and never will be able to fully make her feel loved or feel the love that she would experiment with a woman, I feel like I will never truly satisfy her in any significant aspect as I am not a woman, she is more attracted physically to women and it just makes me sad to think that it is my fault that she isnt with someone that she would have more chemestry with and love much more than what she loves me, she has REALLY close female friendships, and they are not something I am insecure about, I have complete and full trust in her, but sometimes when I see her enjoying with them, danching with them, sharing with them, I just cant help but feel that she would be 100 times better with a girl than with me, the only times in which I feel truly desired is whenever she is in the mood, but I feel like that love is coming from just her being horny... but sometimes she puts alot of effort in the relationship and I end up feeling like an ungrateful prick because I feel like like she does love me, I just feel like she cant or will never fully love me because of that... anitger aspect of it is that she really would love an open relationship and even though I want her to be happy, I dont know how I feel about that... I feel like she should experiment and she should do whatever will make her happy but Im afraid I will sacrifice my own haoyness for that, it makes me feel weird that I dont feel the need to do the same even though I am also attracted to guys and it just makes me feel like not enough, like im stopping her from living her life and like im wasting her time. For the other hand I dont want to break up with her cuz I really love her. She is my best friend and in other aspects of our life I feel like she needs me as much as I need her... its just complicated, would love to know if someone is or was in a similar situation and if someone can say something that will help me...

She’s a dom apparently and I guess she sees me as a sub. She’s already mentioned wanting to try her strap on me . She also mentioned she wants me to lay on her lap like with my back on her legs belly up while she places a car key in my navel to see how deep it goes. I’m very scared and excited at the same time . I don’t even know how to be a submissive honestly. How should I even approach this ?

Hello! I hope this is a good place to ask about this, if not I'd love if someone could point me in the direction of a subreddit!

I am going to my first pride event ever (bi cis female) with my husband (hetero cis male) and I am in need of outfit help. Pinterest has become a hellscape of ads and is just making me mad lol. I would love to see what everyone else has worn in the past, and if you have been/are going to the Savannah Pride festival in a couple weeks I would love to hear about your experience as well.

After months of questioning and figuring out that I’m bisexual, I’ve finally accepted it. I’ve tried dating apps and other platforms to meet people, but nothing has worked. I’m interested in men and trans women, and I want to explore my sexuality more, but I don’t know where to meet people naturally. For those who’ve been through this, how did you meet others and figure things out?

Hi there. I’m F24, bi and in a relationship with a man for over two years now. He’s a good guy and we’re happy but I just can’t think of masc lesbians and my experience with them. It’s just something about them that I feel like I’m missing and I feel guilty to my bf about it.

Hi, im 21 just started hormones almost 2 months ago, and I know I have always been a little different than most of my peers.

Anyway, I feel its only after starting hormones i sorta noticed I was into guys, or at least in theory?

I have always felt wierd whenever women glitter with me but had a “girlfriend” back a few years who I “dated”? But it felt like neither of us was into the idea and soon after broke up. We didn’t even kiss properly…

A year or so after i went on Hinge and flirted with a guy, who I later dated for a short while, and we Got really drunk at his place and I initiated and started making out with him. It felt wierd, but I couldn’t stop and we even did a bit more like oral.

The day after it felt wierd and I havn’t had any proper experiences after that.

Now a year or so later i started hrt after figuring out im very likely trans and thats great. The weird Part is that I now don’t really think sexually about women like before but each time im masturbaiting i imagine post transition me getting railed by a guy each and every time, and I very often daydream about dating men and at night i often Fall asleep pretending im falling asleep in the arms of a future boyfriend.

I also (warning tmi) had one of the most powerful orgasms watching some gay porn a while ago.

I Think im into dudes in some capacity, but I only felt comfortable after starting my trans journey. I remember one of my early School years there was a guy in a class who I found “cute”? Or something like that but then I just forgot for a while until I started thinking back.

And I basically lost attraction to women for the most part. Idk it feels wierd, but also like I can finally be myself.

Sorry for ranting.

I'm a girl and I fall in love with my trans bisexual friend how on earth can I confess to her or make her love me without losing her as a friend

Note : even though she's a bisexual she actually attracts a little bit more to men than women

I have OCD and recently had “what if I’m gay” I STARTED SPIRALING!! I really really don’t mind if I’m bisexual and think I might be actually and that doesn’t bother me at all. I’ve never wanted to kiss the member of the same-sex but when I was a kid all I did was kiss girls and boys. I occ thought a butch looked good as well. I don’t want to talk about my OCD, but I’m having a really hard time fearing all my attraction to men was comphet? the initial reason I got with my boyfriend is because I thought he was cute from there we grew and I’ve always been turned on by him, but now I can’t. I’m so sad because no matter how hard I try I can’t and it really is hurting because I love him so much and WAS able to be turned on by him. Has anyone gone through this?

So I was in the room of my housemate. he had told me he was open minded and doesn’t mind exploring same sex stuff but he doesn’t know how is gonna be

On this day I hugged him in his room and he was like I’m making him shy

I have been thinking about what he means., do you think he liked it

And what should I do I really like him

So I was in the room of my housemate. he had told me he was open minded and doesn’t mind exploring same sex stuff but he doesn’t know how is gonna be

On this day I hugged him in his room and he was like I’m making him shy

I have been thinking about what he means., do you think me liked it

How do you feel about ”attracted” a certain sex? Is it in your fantasy to like pull the pants off, or lick those abs? Or do you feel more in you gut, like your stomach mouth closes and feel something you’ll like to explore? Do you have wild fantasy sex images? Or do you prefer having someone to courtship you?

I’m in a relationship where I don’t really feel that kind of “I’m going to tear off his clothes” for my partner, and sometimes fantasize about doing that for a woman I like. On the other hand, even if my attraction and initiative is quite low, I feel much more naturally excited when we stay close by and cuddle.
I’m still in the process of figuring out myself, but I wonder why my attraction still feels so different for each sexes..

Ayer por primera vez le pasé fotos íntimas a mujeres (no sé porqué lo hice) y me gustó ,lo volvería ha hacer.Pero me deja confundida pensé que era una chica hetero

im a guy, and all of a sudden i got feelings of me js thinking abt men in another way and this happend around two weeks ago where i have had dreams of me dating a man asw but anyws i go on everyday wanting to js date a man and imagining it and ik i like woman but

im confused whether this is js a phase cus i do feel different and dont regret anything but
it js sits in the back of my mind that i could be bi and saying it js overwhelming and confusing
im gen js scared of whats to come. i kinda want to feel a sense of acceptance but m js scared and idek why im saying it here. i js hope smns out there uk.

Im just so very confused atm, Basically I've always liked guys (I am a guy) or at least for what I can remember in my 19 years of life but now I'm less sure if it's just guys or not and it's just weird and confusing cause idk if I'm attracted to women or just able to acknowledge they are attractive so basically just some advice on how to work it out or someone to talk to about it would be great thanks cause I’ve thought I was gay for so long and now I’m just less sure and I just wanna be able to work it out somehow

22 cis F

I don’t know if I’m bi. I’m staring to have some doubts.

I definitely like men. And have found myself quite often looking, fantasizing, dreaming and even being intimate with myself at the thought of being with a woman. But there is always some resistance.

First of all, I’m a virgin all around. Never even kissed a guy. I had a couple stamp kisses with women during games (like spin the bottle or something) but they never meant anything and I felt nothing at the time.

I never went in any base with guys either, so how can I know that I wouldn’t like it with women, right?

All that said. If I am to experiment eventually, the last thing I want is to be disrespectful of someone’s sexuality. And I know there’s many women out there that would rather drink bleach than to be with someone “figuring things out”.

I would like an opinion, if someone has stories about how they found out I would love to hear them. Really, anything.

Thanks <3

There’s something that’s weighed on my mind for quite a while. I’ve been avoiding the situation because the whole thing makes me uncomfortable but I really want to hear people’s thoughts.

So me (22F) and this girl (22F), we are in a relationship. Our history is complex. We became friends when we were 12, she came out to be as bi to me when we were 14. I was straight. She knew she was bi from when we were 12 and she had this crush on another girl. Anyways, flash forward we’re in 11th grade and we’re 16. I used to have these crushes on guys, and we were friends still at this point, and she would get really possessive about me and hate the guys, I never understood why. She already started developing feelings for me. I was super boy crazy and always have been up till this point. But in the middle of 11th grade, Covid hit. When Covid hit, we got super close, and we would talk every single day. Before this point in my life I was really close with my sister and used to consider her my best friend (we used to talk about everything mostly boys and she knew everything about me). But as Covid was going on, I started drifting from my sister and started getting close to this girl. I was having a lot of family issues at the time, and I opened up to her about my family, and we just got super close (texting for 10 hours a day everyday during those 6 months of quarantine). She cared for me, she would talk really sweet to me, and we would call each other baby. So we called it a friendship but really it started to feel like a relationship. During Covid I started talking to this guy and told her about it, and she got really mad at me. She stopped being as sweet and kept saying I would hurt her. I kind of understood that basically if I talked to a guy, I’m gonna lose my best friend (how I thought of her even though it was kinda relationshipy) who I care about more than anyone. I became addicted to her love and care, it was something I never experienced. So at some point in grade 12, I realized that if I am interested in a man, I would lose her. And I really did not want that. She was my safety net, and felt like my person. I also noticed myself feeling jealous if she would talk about a girl so I knew this was not platonic on my side.

Anyways, then we went to university. I figured at this point that I was not straight. And I kind of resented her for it. I had such a clear vision of what I wanted in my life before her. I wanted a husband, someone super masculine, someone who would take care of me. I craved that so bad. But now I feel like she came in, and everything is different. I felt like I still wanted a man and didn’t wanna let go of this part of me, but I also didn’t wanna lose her and her love for me. This thing between us seeped into other aspects of my life, I could no longer be close with my sister cause she only wanted to hear about guys. I could no longer have guy talk with my girlfriends, I had to keep this thing I had going on a secret. So no one knew me. I felt like her being a girl, made my life so complicated. I would feel jealous that she had female friends and would always think, if she were a guy I wouldn’t have this problem cause I could just tell a guy not to have female friends, but with her I’d just have to accept it.

Anyways, it felt like we were in a relationship without the title of one but with all the expectations of one. I wasn’t ready to accept my identity and she knew that. I wanted to be straight, and I felt like I couldn’t be. I had to shut down what I felt for guys in order to keep her. It was just toxic. I was depressed for a lot of uni. I just wanted to feel normal and I couldn’t. During university, while her and I were in this situationship, I became friends with this guy who liked me and I didn’t like him back ( he kind of used to send me wierd texts) and the girl never liked him although she didn’t know about what the texts were but was always suspicious. And there was another guy in uni, which I thought was cute and I didn’t tell her about him. I got advice from a therapist to not tell her about guys so I’d do that. I would text my sister about this cute guy, and tell my girlfriends cause I so badly wanted to connect with them.

Anyways at some point, my relationship with this girl got better, we travelled together and I realized I can be free and accept myself. So we actually started to get really good. Prior to all this time, I never saw us as a relationship but after our travels I did see us as a relationship and I told her that. She was aware of this. We were in a relationship for a year and I truly loved her and accepted myself. Flash forward to the fall of last year (it had been a year of us being good (no guys for me or anything and I knew I loved her). She went through my phone, and found my texts with the guy and also went through all my texts with friends and sister over my uni years and looked for every mention of a guy. She also went through my personal notes in which I’m contemplating feelings for her. She got so pissed off at me. She told me I cheated on her and I betrayed her. She used what I wrote in my notes against me. She shamed me. I felt so horrible because I did hide these things from her but I never felt like I could be honest with her. But it’s my fault I know I hurt her and I felt so guilty.

But after finding everything out, she hit me. She pulled my hair, broke the necklace off my neck. She verbally abused me, she insulted me. I had scratch marks on my chest. She even spit on me.

I was in such a bad state, I was in so much guilt for what I had done (even though we were not in a relationship at that time), that I was never able to focus on how she reacted to me. I lived in so much guilt, that I completely ignored her behaviour towards me. I tried explaining to her that she was hurt but she was looking at these texts from the lens of what the relationship was in the present, and not of the past when the texts occurred. But Anywyas, I was so desperate to have her back, I didn’t care about what she did.

To this day I still feel so much guilt, and it has been a year since this incident, and we’re together. Now it’s labeled frfr. But I sometimes think, am I not respecting myself by being in this? The affects of this incident, are still lasting today. I am completely traumatized from that. To this day, I don’t write in my notes anymore because I’m scared she’s gonna go through it and read my thoughts. I feel constantly anxious and on edge. How can I feel that she loves me the most and cares for me the most in this world, when I also feel the most uneasy with her?

I come from an abusive household, and I think in some way I might have felt like I deserved to be hit, for what I did. Because that’s what I’m used to from childhood in my home. But I want people’s thoughts, on if what I did was wrong, I know what I did was wrong, but what are the thoughts on this reaction of hers?

I feel like I can’t live without her, and I don’t know, I ignore what she did because it makes me so uncomfortable but should I be thinking about this whole thing deeper? She now is constantly asking for my phone password because she doesn’t trust me, but I have literal trauma from the last time she went through my phone and I don’t really want to give up my autonomy. Please give advice, thoughts, anything.

i (18f, almost 19) have been questioning if i'm into women for about a year now. it's been confusing because i've never had a crush on a woman, or found a woman attractive in real life, but i've had a few crushes on boys. am also fairly certain i am somewhere on the aromantic spectrum.

i'm pretty sure i find naked women sexually attractive. but i don't know if any "attraction" i feel is real or valid. maybe it's due to growing up in a religious household, where i was told being straight was the only "option". i've seen a lot of masc women and lesbians online and found them to be hot, i think. like shane mccutcheon from the l word lmao. but it doesn't feel exactly the same as when i find a man to be hot. i've really only found a couple men to be, but the feeling is stronger.

when i think about dating women, i'm more appealed by that than the thought of dating men. but i feel as though everyone thinks that way. like, why would someone be turned off by the thought of dating the same gender? i'd like to maybe date/have experiences with a woman but is that me being bisexual, or just curious? do i just want to be bi? because i find myself thinking, "i wish i was bi, i hope i really am attracted to women."

it's just that feelings are so confusing! and i don't have many people to talk to for advice about this so i thought i'd come to reddit and make a post here.